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Non-Traditional Wedding

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  • 30-01-2020 4:19pm
    #1
    IsIt Miturn
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭


    Does anyone have any ideas on the format of a day if you are going to get married in the registry office and then have a party? I am looking for ideas! I don't want a formal sit down meal, just a bbq and a party kind of feel to the evening with maybe 60 or 70 guests! Do I wear a wedding dress to the registry office? If not, do I change? I have absolutely no idea!

    Say a morning in the registry office, on for lunch with immediate family and then head to a venue for the party?! I'm open to ideas!
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    #2
    nikpmup
    Registered Users Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭nikpmup


    IsIt Miturn wrote: »
    Does anyone have any ideas on the format of a day if you are going to get married in the registry office and then have a party? I am looking for ideas! I don't want a formal sit down meal, just a bbq and a party kind of feel to the evening with maybe 60 or 70 guests! Do I wear a wedding dress to the registry office? If not, do I change? I have absolutely no idea!

    Say a morning in the registry office, on for lunch with immediate family and then head to a venue for the party?! I'm open to ideas!

    I could have written the same post - we are hoping to get married early next year, and are thinking of having an immediate family only meal followed by a party in a city centre venue but I'm starting to wonder if it would be less hassle to book a package deal at a hotel and be done with it. My problem is with logistics - I know my extended family and friends will want to come to the ceremony, either in city hall/registry office, I'm happy to have a small drinks reception after that but then what? "Right, you lot feck off till 7pm until the party!"? And if I send out invites to all and sundry for an evening party, will most people assume that they 'only' got an afters invite and not bother coming, (even though there isnt going to be a "befores"?!) and all of the people I'd love to celebrate with won't be there? Not to mention schlepping all over the city centre from venue to venue.
    Eloping is starting to look like an idea.


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    #3
    jlm29
    Registered Users Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭jlm29


    A friend of mine went away and got married a couple of years ago. Nobody knew about it until it was done, but they had a party maybe two weeks after they got back, that had all been booked well in advance.

    You could do something like that. But if you don’t want your extended family at the ceremony just don’t invite them. It’s your day, so it the way you want it.

    Edited to add. My cousin got married a couple of years ago, they had a small ceremony with close family followed by a meal in the hotel, with a big party that evening. It was all in one venue, but everyone knew what they were doing, and it was called a “wedding party” as opposed to an afters or whatever.


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    #4
    kandr10
    Registered Users Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭kandr10


    I was at a wedding in the tailors hall. They had a registry office thing and then straight to venue. It was very relaxed and laid back. Bar was open and we were standing around chatting etc. Food was buffet and hog roast. Then there was a disco and dancing and stuff. Doesn’t sound totally dissimilar to a hotel wedding but it was right in town and very laid back atmosphere. I know of someone who was at a similar setup in Drury buildings. I was at another wedding in the registry office and then onto the Morrison hotel for meal. Again very relaxed. In any case, there isn’t really much hanging around. You just go to whatever venue you choose and hang out.


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    #5
    IsIt Miturn
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭IsIt Miturn


    I'm the exact same! I think I will send out invites for a "Wedding Party" and leave it at that! So registry office with the immediate and then a lunch somewhere then on to a reception. I really want it to be stress free and chilled!


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    #6
    kandr10
    Registered Users Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭kandr10


    Perhaps doing lunch and a reception would put you on a timetable though and drop it being relaxing cos you’d have to move on?


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    #7
    nikpmup
    Registered Users Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭nikpmup


    kandr10 wrote: »
    Perhaps doing lunch and a reception would put you on a timetable though and drop it being relaxing cos you’d have to move on?

    That's what I'm thinking, moving from place to place is a pain in the behind, and could ruin the flow of the day. My OH is talking about doing the ceremony on a different day but I don't fancy that


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    #8
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Can you have a late ceremony?


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    #9
    zedhead
    Registered Users Posts: 601 ✭✭✭zedhead


    Were doing something like this. Ceremony in the registry office with a group of around 25 (immediate family and a couple of our closest friends). Doing an early ceremony, then heading to a pub in town before early dinner in a restaurant. Then we have Medley on fleet street booked for a reception for our wider group. Canapes and drink reception followed by a DJ and dancing.

    To answer some of the questions

    I will be wearing a wedding dress to the registry office. The woman we registered our intent with said there is huge variety in outfits for registry office weddings, from full gowns to casual outfits.

    I was a bit worried people wouldnt treat the evening reception as seriously, show up late, wear casual clothes, not bother coming. But ahead of invites we've been telling people the plan in person and they are all so on board. I would try to get the word out so people understand, rather than just an invite arriving that may not be as clear.

    I have had a few people say they want to come to the ceremony, but for me I kind of shut it down. I too think it would be weird to have extra people at the ceremony and then just head off for dinner and say 'see you in a few hours'. My response when people ask about crashing the ceremony is just explaining we really want to keep it small and intimate and everyone so far has understood.

    It is a bit more stressful than a package in a hotel would be, including the pub we have 4 different venues to deal with and the timeline is tricky to manage ..balance between being rushed and having too much down time. But for us it's worth it, well I hope it will be by the time the day comes around.


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    #10
    micky jammy delahunty
    Registered Users Posts: 65 ✭✭micky jammy delahunty


    jlm29 wrote: »

    Edited to add. My cousin got married a couple of years ago, they had a small ceremony with close family followed by a meal in the hotel, with a big party that evening. It was all in one venue, but everyone knew what they were doing, and it was called a “wedding party” as opposed to an afters or whatever.

    As long as socially conservative acquaintances, employers, managers, etc, think you had a socially conservative wedding, they'll think you are one of them. And that's all you have to do...They'll assume your marriage is socially conservative and unhappy, like theirs.


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    #11
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The best wedding I attended (apart from my second one) was where the couple got married in a small hotel with just immediate family. They had a meal afterwards and went to their local around 8pm for disco, finger food and banter with extended family and friends. I was one of the extended family. A great night was had by all. Perfect.


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    #12
    PhoenixParker
    Registered Users Posts: 2,671 ✭✭✭PhoenixParker


    We did a Friday ceremony in the registry office with 12 people. Followed by lunch in Guilbauds. I wore the wedding dress, did the full hair & make up and we did all our photos that day. I changed into a different dress for the meal because I didn't trust myself not to drop food all over myself.

    Then we all headed to the hotel and hung out for the evening with any of our guests who had travelled the night before.

    Then on the Saturday we had the reception. It was originally planned to be casual and buffet style nibbly bits but then people were making such an effort to come from far flung places, the price wasn't that different and it was simpler to organise so we did basically a full hotel reception.

    It started at 4pm though, no ceremony, straight into dinner after prosecco and nibbly bits. No photos, no hanging around, no bridesmaids, no top table, 3 v short speeches, DJ rather than band. Starting at 4PM it was a much shorter day then a lot of weddings and in Dublin so lots of people headed home after.

    It was very relaxed for us because it was over 2 days and a lot of fun.


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    #13
    IsIt Miturn
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭IsIt Miturn


    nikpmup wrote: »
    That's what I'm thinking, moving from place to place is a pain in the behind, and could ruin the flow of the day. My OH is talking about doing the ceremony on a different day but I don't fancy that

    Very true from you both; thanks! I definitely don't want to be on a timetable but I don't want things dragged out for 2 or 3 days!


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    #14
    zedhead
    Registered Users Posts: 601 ✭✭✭zedhead


    IsIt Miturn wrote: »
    Very true from you both; thanks! I definitely don't want to be on a timetable but I don't want things dragged out for 2 or 3 days!

    We're hiring a minibus on the day to bring our full day guests around the different venues and to keep everyone together. It is all city centre based but logistically we just thought it would make things easier.


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    #15
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    IsIt Miturn wrote: »
    Does anyone have any ideas on the format of a day if you are going to get married in the registry office and then have a party? I am looking for ideas! I don't want a formal sit down meal, just a bbq and a party kind of feel to the evening with maybe 60 or 70 guests! Do I wear a wedding dress to the registry office? If not, do I change? I have absolutely no idea!

    Say a morning in the registry office, on for lunch with immediate family and then head to a venue for the party?! I'm open to ideas!

    Do them both on different days? Have your registry office wedding, take your family to lunch, and the following week/month/later date invite everyone you want to a big party to celebrate your recent marriage. That way you can take your time on the day itself with your nearest and dearest, have a break/mini honeymoon, then host a big party to celebrate.

    There's no rule that it all has to be done on the same day, we did it like that ourselves.


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    #16
    IspeakcozIcan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭IspeakcozIcan


    PhoenixParker wrote: »
    We did a Friday ceremony in the registry office with 12 people. Followed by lunch in Guilbauds. I wore the wedding dress, did the full hair & make up and we did all our photos that day. I changed into a different dress for the meal because I didn't trust myself not to drop food all over myself.

    Then we all headed to the hotel and hung out for the evening with any of our guests who had travelled the night before.

    Then on the Saturday we had the reception. It was originally planned to be casual and buffet style nibbly bits but then people were making such an effort to come from far flung places, the price wasn't that different and it was simpler to organise so we did basically a full hotel reception.

    It started at 4pm though, no ceremony, straight into dinner after prosecco and nibbly bits. No photos, no hanging around, no bridesmaids, no top table, 3 v short speeches, DJ rather than band. Starting at 4PM it was a much shorter day then a lot of weddings and in Dublin so lots of people headed home after.

    It was very relaxed for us because it was over 2 days and a lot of fun.

    Gettinng married in July. This is similar to what I'm doing.

    Registry office in Dublin at 4pm, pics in Merrion park and meal and drinks (15 ppl).

    Following evening heading to my home town for a party: prosecco, meal, music, dj. Starting around 5.30pm/6pm (90ppl approx).

    Need to find something to wear though! Don't want the full bridal gown. Thinking 3/4 length dress or funky jumpsuit. Does anyone have any recommendations?


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    #17
    Crunchy Friends
    Registered Users Posts: 233 ✭✭Crunchy Friends


    We're getting married in August. We're doing a humanist ceremony in the Maritime Museum of Ireland followed immediately by a drinks/canapes/nibbles reception in the Haddington House Hotel with Manila Strings providing musical entertainment for about 3 hours.

    The invitations will say something like join us for our ceremony and an afternoon party.

    The idea of pitching it as an afternoon party is so that people have their expectations correct - we'll be providing a couple of drinks of people's choice, some canapes, bowls and sharer pizzas - no sit down meal.

    We don't really feel like we need to have a sit down meal with family on the day - we can always arrange meals with our families after the fact. The most important thing for us is to be married and provide a space for a few hours where we can celebrate with people. The traditional wedding just isn't for us!


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    #18
    1perriwinkle
    Registered Users Posts: 177 ✭✭1perriwinkle


    My sister got married many moons ago - they had the wedding at 3pm then we strolled to a nice pub nearby for a pint, and on to a restaurant near by for dinner at 6, where there were a few speeches. After that, another short stroll to a local boat club where there was a wedding party with disco/DJ. They had a BBQ for all the evening people.
    It was a fantastic day. Super relaxed but very special. Even though my sister didn't go 'full bride' with the dress it was clear we were a wedding group when we walked between venues and we got so many smiles and good wishes. The ceremony and dinner was strictly 'immediate family' ie siblings (and partners) and parents, with a best man/bridesmaid. The party in the evening was great fun, and because everyone was invited to that people really enjoyed it.
    I went abroad to get married myself, because I didn't want a 'big day'. It ended up being big enough in the end, 90 guests, but it was fantastic because everyone was on holidays so they were all relaxed and enjoying the sunshine.


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    #19
    Pink11
    Registered Users Posts: 723 ✭✭✭Pink11


    IspeakcozIcan wrote: »

    Need to find something to wear though! Don't want the full bridal gown. Thinking 3/4 length dress or funky jumpsuit. Does anyone have any recommendations?

    https://shop.rime-arodaky.com/product/patsy/


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    #20
    SozBbz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,889 ✭✭✭SozBbz


    I was at the evening part of something similar last year.

    They did small wedding in venue A and then the remainder in venue B, a few mins walk away. It was Dublin, but not central Dublin.

    Only family and close friends at the ceremony and meal afterwards in venue B. I suppose what worked well was that they their venue was a boutique hotel that had a fancy restaurant for the intimate dinner element and then also a reception room for the band and wider pool of guests in the evening.

    I can PM you the venues if interested - I just dont want to identify someone elses wedding here!


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