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The Night Cougher

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  • 22-10-2020 10:43am
    #1
    Sgt Hartman
    Registered Users Posts: 2,437 ✭✭✭


    There's a neighbour of mine living in one of the houses behind my own one. Every single night he's out in the back coughing his lungs up, I mean really choking and hockling. It sounds revolting. I'm tempted to shout something to him to tell him to stop being so vile. Another part of me just wants to call around to his place and tell him that this can't carry on and that he needs to get himself checked out in a hospital asap.

    I'm just wondering what I should do because the coughing and spluttering is starting to really gross me out.


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    #2
    razorblunt
    Registered Users Posts: 17,300 ✭✭✭✭razorblunt


    Throw a packet of Halls Soothers at him.


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    #3
    fonecrusher1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,700 ✭✭✭fonecrusher1


    Quick blast of piss


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    #4
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Headphones with some nice Slayer will drown him out.


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    #5
    COVID
    Registered Users Posts: 624 ✭✭✭COVID


    razorblunt wrote: »
    Through a packet of Halls Soothers at him.

    Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.


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    #6
    corner of hells
    Registered Users Posts: 8,356 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    Sgt Hartman wrote: »
    There's a neighbour of mine living in one of the houses behind my own one. Every single night he's out in the back coughing his lungs up, I mean really choking and hockling. It sounds revolting. I'm tempted to shout something to him to tell him to stop being so vile. Another part of me just wants to call around to his place and tell him that this can't carry on and that he needs to get himself checked out in a hospital asap.

    I'm just wondering what I should do because the coughing and spluttering is starting to really gross me out.

    OP , you need to raise your game with your neighbour.

    I would recommend playing the banjo music from the film "Deliverance " for maybe an hour first when you hear him cough.
    Stop the music suddenly, make a load of grunting and shuffling sounds for maybe ten minutes and then , finally , as loud as you can , squeal like a pig.


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    #7
    KilOit
    Registered Users Posts: 2,983 ✭✭✭KilOit


    What a prick for being sick and not coughing all over the people in his house


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    #8
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    biko wrote: »
    Headphones with some nice Slayer will drown him out.

    Or add some harmony :)


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    #9
    The Master
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 14,308 CMod ✭✭✭✭The Master


    Ride his wife

    That'll soften his cough


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    #10
    Tuco88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,052 ✭✭✭Tuco88


    COVID wrote: »
    Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.

    Or woodbines aka coffin nails.


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    #11
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Send him an ambulance


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    #12
    bazz26
    Registered Users Posts: 51,113 ✭✭✭✭bazz26


    Setup an outdoor speaker and when he starts coughing turn on the The Purge alarm.


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    #13
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Cough back, but like an echo


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    #14
    Gregor Samsa
    Registered Users Posts: 8,908 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa


    I though the title said "The Night Cougar"

    Disappointed now.


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    #15
    Sgt Hartman
    Registered Users Posts: 2,437 ✭✭✭Sgt Hartman


    COVID wrote: »
    Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.

    From the sound of him I think he's already a 60 Major a day man

    He's at it again at the moment, hockling and spluttering :(


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    #16
    crosstownk
    Registered Users Posts: 12,863 ✭✭✭✭crosstownk


    Maybe he's had plenty of medical advice/diagnosis and there's fcuk all can be done about it.

    I'm sure it bothers him a lot more than it bothers the OP.
    Untitled Image




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    #17
    Sgt Hartman
    Registered Users Posts: 2,437 ✭✭✭Sgt Hartman


    crosstownk wrote: »
    Maybe he's had plenty of medical advice/diagnosis and there's fcuk all can be done about it.

    I'm sure it bothers him a lot more than it bothers the OP.

    I was thinking that though. Maybe the poor guy has terminal lung cancer and can't help it. In that case I totally empathize with him.
    On the other hand though he could just be an ignorant smoker who doesn't care how gross or indiscreet he's being. I lived with someone like that in a house share and he was a nightmare, a really nasty pig of a man who left filthy butts outside the front door and coughed his lungs up every night.

    I just wonder should I approach him and let him be aware of the way he is or would I possibly be inviting trouble on myself by doing so, especially if he's a rough sort.


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    #18
    Gregor Samsa
    Registered Users Posts: 8,908 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa


    Sgt Hartman wrote: »
    I just wonder should I approach him and let him be aware of the way he is or would I possibly be inviting trouble on myself by doing so, especially if he's a rough sort.

    People love it when they’re confronted by strangers about personal matters they’re engaging in on their own property. Go on, call around to him now and ask him what’s going on with his cough. You certainly won’t be seen as the weird neighbour who should mind their own business.

    Let us know how grateful he was for the call, people need uplifting stories in these difficult times.


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    #19
    Sgt Hartman
    Registered Users Posts: 2,437 ✭✭✭Sgt Hartman


    Gregor Samsa wrote: »
    People love it when they’re confronted by strangers about personal matters they’re engaging in on their own property. Go on, call around to him now and ask him what’s going on with his cough. You certainly won’t be seen as the weird neighbour who should mind their own business.

    Let us know how grateful he was for the call.

    So basically I and my other neighbours should just tolerate listening to his gutteral coughing every night and mind our own business? His health issues may well be nobody else's business but when I hear someone doing this every night out in the back yard for all and sundry to listen to I can't help but to think to myself that this person either needs help or needs to be more considerate. It's not being weird.


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    #20
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Kidnap is the only way....


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    #21
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Sounds like a title of a Stephen King short story.


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    #22
    I see sheep
    Registered Users Posts: 1,657 ✭✭✭I see sheep


    You're being a drama queen in fairness, he has a smoker's cough, a lot of people have it. There's no mystery.


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    #23
    corner of hells
    Registered Users Posts: 8,356 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    punisher5112 wrote: »
    Kidnap is the only way....

    Who, the OP or the cougher ?


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    #24
    Gregor Samsa
    Registered Users Posts: 8,908 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa


    Sgt Hartman wrote: »
    So basically I and my other neighbours should just tolerate listening to his gutteral coughing every night and mind our own business? His health issues may well be nobody else's business but when I hear someone doing this every night out in the back yard for all and sundry to listen to I can't help but to think to myself that this person either needs help or needs to be more considerate. It's not being weird.

    Then there’s obviously no problem with calling around to him right now and asking him what’s going on.


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    #25
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    corner of hells wrote: »
    Who, the OP or the cougher ?

    Oh that's a tough one actually can I just say burn em, burn em all.


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    #26
    crosstownk
    Registered Users Posts: 12,863 ✭✭✭✭crosstownk


    He's hardly hacking a lung up just to p1ss of the neighbours. His desire to not cough is greater than anyone else's.

    Maybe he could be a bit more discreet but depending on his circumstances, being discreet may be the last thing on his mind.
    Untitled Image




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    #27
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Its the damp night air that's causing it sure. Get him a scarf.


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    #28
    bb1234567
    Registered Users Posts: 5,494 ✭✭✭bb1234567


    He's probably going outside in the first place to avoid his family/housemates having to witness it, poor man what more can he do :o


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    #29
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Ear plugs for the time you know he will be out there. Please.


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    #30
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Move house


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    #31
    Stovepipe
    Registered Users Posts: 2,979 ✭✭✭Stovepipe


    ignore him. he's not got long left anyway. the next sound you won't hear will be the hiss of his oxygen rig...


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