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Wedding Dress Anxiety

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  • 23-09-2020 9:44am
    #1
    UnBridled
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭


    I was hoping to wait until January to go dress shopping but I think it's something I should do sooner rather than later. The thing is I really struggle with having a negative body image. I'm a bit better than I used to be but the thoughts of trying on wedding dresses makes me feel very anxious. Since Covid struck I've put on about 10lbs. My dress size is most likely a 14 around the stomach but sure I'm smaller everywhere else. I'm definitely planning on losing weight so maybe I could wait until the new year to go looking.

    I won't mention the shops I'm interested in because that might constitute advertising. There are three I have in mind. One of them have on their website that the guest will be helping the bride in and out of the dresses due to Covid. I'll be alone which is a bit rubbish so hopefully I can just help myself in and out. Sigh.
    I'm also seriously considering getting my dress made instead as it might be easier on my nerves than all of this.

    Can you ladies tell me your experiences of bridal shops? Are the dresses tiny and the assistants glam? How did you feel? Can anyone relate to my worries?

    Thanks :)


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    #2
    NeonCookies
    Registered Users Posts: 509 ✭✭✭NeonCookies


    Hi Unbridled. I was the same way, more nervous than excited. I've since asked around and it turns out a lot of brides are like that despite the "only excited" front! I'm about a size 16. Honestly - I ended up being amazed! Even dresses that I would never consider in normal wear e.g. "tight" ones, looked great because of the quality of materials, boning etc.

    Now tbh, the first shop I went to I wasn't impressed with - they had sample sizes for trying on but they were quite small. They did all go on, just not done up at the back (hint for these ones- take off your bra with the dress, most don't need it anyway and it saves some eh..bulges..at the back!) I also had to get changed in a TINY room by myself, and then open the door to let the assistant "do me up" with my guests sitting right there.

    BUT then I went into Wed2Be in Drumcondra - they stock dresses in individual sizes so you can pick ones you know will fit. Honestly for any nervous bride I'd advise going here first.You can pick dresses IN YOUR SIZE in all different styles to see what suits. It didn't feel as "intense" as the boutique experience. If you're by yourself, they have lovely big dressing rooms so you wouldn't need to go outside to where other people are to see the dress properly if you're self conscious. Even with my guests outside the curtain, the assistant made sure I took time just to look at myself in the dress before going outside and getting opinions.

    The assistants were so lovely and helpful, recommending possible accessories and going to get them so I could see the full look - I ended up finding my dress and they made such a fuss! If you did decide to get your dress made at least you'll have gotten a good idea of what suits you too :)


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    #3
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    UnBridled wrote: »
    One of them have on their website that the guest will be helping the bride in and out of the dresses due to Covid. I'll be alone which is a bit rubbish so hopefully I can just help myself in and out. Sigh.

    If you're worried about this, you could give them a call ahead of time and flag that you'll be on your own. Tbh I can't see them letting you get in and out of the dresses on your own, as there's a risk that the dresses could be damaged. If they're comfortable with close interactions themselves, they'll probably still help you (but may insist you both wear masks).

    I think a lot of us struggle with body image issues :/ I was a size 12/14 trying on dresses. I started with Barnardos, Oxfam and Wed2B, before going to a bridal boutique. In the boutique, I think the sample dresses were on the small size for me, but you wouldn't really notice (e.g. when the sales assistants are doing up the back, they just skip a few buttons at the top!). I think the sample sizes in wedding boutiques are only really an issue if you're proper plus size, but even then there are wedding boutiques that specialise in plus sizes. I don't think size 14 will be an issue though.

    I'm very self conscious about my belly (no matter how much weight I lose or core fitness classes I do, I always seem to have a round buddha belly!). But I found when I was trying on wedding dresses I was much less conscious of it. It's because the dresses can be very structured (e.g. with boning) so it helps tuck everything in :P

    Even if you lose weight later, it's always easier and cheaper to get it taken in than letting it out. If anything I'm worried now that I'm putting on weight again and won't fit into the bloody dress I bought pre-Covid and pre-Covid weight gain :rolleyes: So I think you're better off just going for it now instead of putting it off. You'll probably surprise yourself and really enjoy the experience anyway :)


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    #4
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users Posts: 2,069 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    I can completely relate. I went shopping for my dress back in July and I'm currently a size 14 on the bottom, 12 on top. I'm hoping to lose weight before the wedding but I'm not banking on it completely. I went to The Bridal Outlet and found them amazing. Was not expecting to get my dress but did. The samples are usually about a size 12 there but to be honest I didn't really notice too much as they were brilliant at securing them & putting in the panel at the back. I had 2 people with me but the way they worked it was they would hand the dress in to me. I'd step into it myself & then the consultant would just have to do the zip & the bits at the back. I had to wear a mask while in the changing room but once I was on the pedastal, I could remove the mask.

    I have a rounded belly - even at my skinniest when I was a size 8, I had a rounded belly. Some dresses showed it off & we discounted those shapes but a lot were both comfortable and masked it really well. And the whole thing of knowing it's your dress really is true - I felt so comfortable in the one I picked despite the fact it was 2 sizes too small & was open at the back coz the zip wouldn't go up. It still looked great & I felt amazing in it.

    Like others have said - it's a lot easier to take a dress in rather than out. Mine is being ordered in a size 16 (btw wedding dress sizes sometimes come up a size bigger than your normal so don't get down by that! They go off the measurements for that designer). I'll happily pay for it to be taken in or if I've lost enough weight before they put the order through, I might just go back in for a re-measure.

    Go and enjoy it - it is a bit of fun. Pick random dresses that you would never normally wear. Even if they look terrible on you, you can have a laugh about it. I tried on one that made me look like a cloud! It highlighted all of the bad things but it was still hilarious!


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    #5
    annoyedgal
    Registered Users Posts: 769 ✭✭✭annoyedgal


    I gave up shopping with family and friends and started bridal shopping solo. Was a way better experience and the staff were all lovely. Brought someone when i had it narrowed down.
    Personally way prefer solo shopping as your on your own schedule and it's your own opinion and instinct your listening to. Don't be put off by going alone!
    Try a dress in each of the different shapes to see what suits you best. Once you have the shape the rest is easy! Fit and flare flatters most body shapes.
    Dresses with lace up backs are great for holding in and giving a lovely silhouette.
    It's normal to be anxious about it, try not to build it up and see it as a fun exercise if you can! Good luck!


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    #6
    UnBridled
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭UnBridled


    Thanks all :)

    I'm feeling a bit more confident about going. I love looking at the real weddings on some websites and rarely see a bride that's short and with boobs and belly, me basically :D My anxieties were reinforced by one of the models on the shop website wearing dresses I love the look of. It just makes me think how dreadful they will look on me. Lookit I know it's all coming from my own insecurities and am hopeful that on the day it will be fine.

    The shop I have in mind is Alice May Bridal. I’ll give them a ring and see if it will be ok that I'll be going alone.
    Witchgirl how did you know the dress would work for you when it wouldn't zip up? Did that not make it difficult for you to decide?


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    #7
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users Posts: 2,069 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    UnBridled wrote: »
    Thanks all :)
    Witchgirl how did you know the dress would work for you when it wouldn't zip up? Did that not make it difficult for you to decide?

    The way they'd hook it up at the back meant that while it wasn't closed properly, each side was still hooked to the other (just with an extra bit of fabric down the back to hide me!). Honestly I just felt amazing in it despite that. It was comfortable (they'd managed to zip it just past my waist so I could judge around there) & I felt amazing in it. I felt confident even though it didn't fit. It was strange as if I try on things that don't fit, it normally knocks my confidence but this didn't at all. Maybe because I wasn't expecting the samples to fit anyway.

    It was actually a really easy decision in the end. It looked lovely on me, I loved the style of it (despite it not being what I'd originally thought), It was surprisingly comfortable & it had pockets!


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    #8
    UnBridled
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭UnBridled


    witchgirl26 wrote: »
    The way they'd hook it up at the back meant that while it wasn't closed properly, each side was still hooked to the other (just with an extra bit of fabric down the back to hide me!). Honestly I just felt amazing in it despite that. It was comfortable (they'd managed to zip it just past my waist so I could judge around there) & I felt amazing in it. I felt confident even though it didn't fit. It was strange as if I try on things that don't fit, it normally knocks my confidence but this didn't at all. Maybe because I wasn't expecting the samples to fit anyway.

    It was actually a really easy decision in the end. It looked lovely on me, I loved the style of it (despite it not being what I'd originally thought), It was surprisingly comfortable & it had pockets!

    Pockets. Wow. Dresses with pockets are the best :D Ok so you were comfortable enough to in the dress to know it was the one for you. I had a look at that particular shop's website and was very impressed with their Chic Nostalgia collection. I love lace and back detail. I made an appointment with them and Alice Eve. Fingers crossed I have as good an experience as you :)


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    #9
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users Posts: 2,069 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    UnBridled wrote: »
    Pockets. Wow. Dresses with pockets are the best :D Ok so you were comfortable enough to in the dress to know it was the one for you. I had a look at that particular shop's website and was very impressed with their Chic Nostalgia collection. I love lace and back detail. I made an appointment with them and Alice Eve. Fingers crossed I have as good an experience as you :)

    I know! I don't know why I was so impressed with the pockets but it was like the icing on the cake :)

    I know a couple of others through friends who went there too & had a great experience. I went back (to show my mam the dress as she hadn't been there) & they let me try on a few more for her so that she got the experience too.

    The way they do the appointments is that they give you 5 tags in a colour & you go & put them on the hangers of dresses you want to try on. The one I bought is actually one the consultant picked based on those I'd tagged.

    My dress is from the Justin Alexander Sweetheart range. If you have a look on his website, a lot of the dresses are shown on both a size 10 model & a size 16 model so you can see how they work on both.


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    #10
    UnBridled
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭UnBridled


    witchgirl26 wrote: »
    I know! I don't know why I was so impressed with the pockets but it was like the icing on the cake :)

    I know a couple of others through friends who went there too & had a great experience. I went back (to show my mam the dress as she hadn't been there) & they let me try on a few more for her so that she got the experience too.

    The way they do the appointments is that they give you 5 tags in a colour & you go & put them on the hangers of dresses you want to try on. The one I bought is actually one the consultant picked based on those I'd tagged.

    My dress is from the Justin Alexander Sweetheart range. If you have a look on his website, a lot of the dresses are shown on both a size 10 model & a size 16 model so you can see how they work on both.

    Does that mean you can only pick 5 dresses to try on?

    I looked at that range online and it is lovely. I also googled prices for Justin Alexander and they are quite broad. I have a maximum figure I won't go above but I'm hoping I'll find the right dress for under €2k. Fingers crossed.


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    #11
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users Posts: 2,069 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    UnBridled wrote: »
    Does that mean you can only pick 5 dresses to try on?

    I looked at that range online and it is lovely. I also googled prices for Justin Alexander and they are quite broad. I have a maximum figure I won't go above but I'm hoping I'll find the right dress for under €2k. Fingers crossed.

    Nope! I tried on about 7 in total. It’s just to get an idea. The other girl who was in the same time as me was on her 10th dress when I heard.

    I was pleasantly surprised at the price of mine - fell in love with it without knowing the price. Was expecting €1.5k - it was €915! And that was the normal price, not a sale! I’d say you’ll definitely find something you like for that budget.


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