Do you give your kids chores to do ?

Valresnick · 11-10-2020 9:12am #1

Don’t know if parents still do this anymore ? I know my sisters kids who are between 6 and 8 have to help clean the house every Sat morning and do dishes after meals. Interested to see if parents still do this or is it considered cruel or offensive these days - nearly everything else is ...

magicbastarder · 11-10-2020 9:12am

you'd need quite a few kids for that. and they'd probably all be soprano.

Valresnick · 11-10-2020 9:14am

why why can’t I change post title ...... chores !!

Patser · 11-10-2020 9:14am

I orchestrate them

gifted · 11-10-2020 9:15am

Chores

We get the three chicks to clean their bedrooms and help putting away the clean clothes on the weekends.....

eviltwin · 11-10-2020 10:43am

They do their own room cleaning, wash their dishes and are responsible for their own laundry.

Loveinapril · 11-10-2020 10:51am

I get my three year old to tidy away his toys and put rubbish in the bin, clothes in the wash basket etc. My daughter will be the same when she gets older. They will learn that we are a team and we all have to chip in to keep the house clean and tidy.

Orion · 11-10-2020 12:22pm

Thread title edited

shesty · 11-10-2020 2:35pm

It is absolutely on my to-do list for my 6 and 4 year olds.Making their beds (ie, pulling back the quilt), hanging their pjs up (or just putting them away) every day for starters would be my list.I already get rhem to put their rubbish in the bin, pick up messes etc, and my 2 year old gets included in that.

Just need to get my sh$t together enough to do it.

Digs · 11-10-2020 7:07pm

Absolutely. I am not spending my life picking up after 3 children. Eldest is 7 and she is really good at doing her bit. Puts her plate away after dinner, tidies condiments from the table, makes her bed, clothes in basket at night, feeds the cat (she really really wanted that job so I let her), the other two are 4 and 2 and follow her lead to varying degrees. Naturally the 2 year old doesn’t do much but she copies the other two tidying up toys etc. Mine have very different personalities so the 4 year old turns herself inside out trying to get out of chores but she knows by now it’s non negotiable. The older girl is constantly offering to help - she has always been like that.

shesty · 11-10-2020 8:35pm

Hehe Digs, sounds like my house.Eldest helps a lot, tidies her room herself and everything.Second creates enough of a mess for three people then pretends it wasn't her and wails about how can she possibly clear up ALL on.her.own.
My youngest is a boy so the jury is out on him yet!!!But he loves emptying and filling the dishwasher and washing machine with me and going around with the cordless hoover, so I will run with that for now.

mirrorwall14 · 11-10-2020 9:55pm

I do have a tendency to let it slip at times but 5 year old does pj’s under pillow/wash basket each morning, clothes sorted into the wash basket each evening (we have a lights/dark dual hampers) and keeps his room reasonably tidy except the Lego in his room which he regularly needs help clearing up.

They both (2 and 5) help when tidying toys downstairs. Currently working on bringing dishes to kitchen from table safely. 5 year old will also collect a wash from the hampers and bring it down for me on sat morning and sun morning. He also does general ‘bring this upstairs’ when I’m cooking/cleaning up throughout the week

Shelli2 · 11-10-2020 10:42pm

Yes, definitely. I have a younger brother who is only learning to take care of himself now at 34 years old, it's a running joke that my mother ruined him, but the honest truth is she really did. His girlfriend wasn't much better, but now they have a 2 year old she's getting better at making him help out.

I have a 13 year old boy, it's most important to me that I raise him to be self sufficient. His chores have changed in relation to age over the years.
Currently he is responsible for emptying the kitchen bins, and putting out the wheelie bins weekly.
Keeping his room clean, properly with hoover, polish and changing bed clothes.
Emptying the dishwasher daily (or when clean)
His own laundry, at least one load a week. (I'll do mixed loads too, so it's split)
Cleaning the yard after our two dogs daily, and walking our larger dog every second day.
Making his own lunch for school.

He loves to bake and cook, so he does dinner maybe once a week, but that's his choice if he'd like to try a recipe.

He does lots of other bits for me too, and he gets extra savings money in return. In fairness, he's a super help at the moment, I'm 31wks pregnant and suffering from SPD, and hubby is working long hours, so he's fetching and carrying for me a lot, but he understands that it's only for a little while until I get mobility back.

He gets standard pocket money monthly for his regular chores. This is his gaming subscriptions and some extra money.

He has always had age appropriate tasks, and it has worked wonderfully. He of course has his moments and whinges like all kids do, but on a whole it's definitely stood to him.

My mother says I get him to do too much, but I just point out how my brother turned out. ðŸ˜‚

eviltwin · 12-10-2020 8:46am

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is independence. Mine have been doing chores since they could walk, obviously age appropriate. The goal has been to get them to adulthood with the ability to cook, clean, do basic DIY and car maintenance, mend their own clothes and save a few bob. Once they reach 18 then its up to them what they do with the rest of their lives but at least they will have been taught the basics.

scarepanda · 12-10-2020 9:45am

We try to, although we need to get a bit more firm with the 4 year old. I want to get a bit better at getting her to help tidy up after the dinner and helping me put away herself and the toddlers clothes.

But she's currently in charge of tidying away the toys around the house. We recently got a robot Hoover, so the floor needs to be kept fairly clear all the time now. She tells us 'Alfred' will eat her toys otherwise, I'm not disputing with her

. But she's also taken to being in charge of the Hoover, making sure the floor is toy free, the bin doesn't get over full, letting us know if an alarm is going off on it and driving it via remote control home to the base station if it's running low on battery and finding it hard to negotiate it's way home from the living room.

Tombo2001 · 12-10-2020 9:54am

I find these threads a bit painful to read as the parents who feel they do a great job are always so quick to tell everyone else about it.

Sorry, but thats how I feel when reading these posts.

My own view is that a lot depends on the child - I have two kids who will happily do chores and third that will scream and scream about having to do 3 minutes of hoovering.

Yes, we all know that best in class is to have your kids doing chores from an early age, learning to be independent etc etc.

Digs · 12-10-2020 1:28pm

shesty wrote: »

Hehe Digs, sounds like my house.Eldest helps a lot, tidies her room herself and everything.Second creates enough of a mess for three people then pretends it wasn't her and wails about how can she possibly clear up ALL on.her.own.
My youngest is a boy so the jury is out on him yet!!!But he loves emptying and filling the dishwasher and washing machine with me and going around with the cordless hoover, so I will run with that for now.

Haha that’s hilarious Shesty, I could have written your first paragraph word for word. Middle child thing? The eldest would almost do it for her too for a bit of peace, I regularly have to step in and stop her to make the other lady do it herself! Smallest is 2 aswell (next month!) so the jury is out in her but she tends to copy what the other two do which is handy!

pwurple · 12-10-2020 1:42pm

Tombo2001 wrote: »

I find these threads a bit painful to read as the parents who feel they do a great job are always so quick to tell everyone else about it.

Sorry, but thats how I feel when reading these posts.

They are answering the question with lists of what is done in their households... and you see that as bragging? Lordie people are sensitive.

Yes, helping around the house is normal here too. Sometimes they aren't up for it, most of the time they roll in with it. It helps immensely if we all do it together. They are NOT up for cleaning the kitchen while I sit down with a cuppa and a biccie.

El Gato De Negocios · 12-10-2020 2:34pm

Our pair are a bit too young for chores just yet (3 and a half and 26 months) but we absolutely make them, or at least try to make them help with picking up toys, putting clothes in the laundry basket etc.

The older we would ask to bring cutlery and non break items to the sink, put bits of food from the floor into the bin etc and in general he is fairly complicit.

He is great when we are down in my folks house at "helping out" grandad around the farm with things like feeding the cattle, filling drinkers etc and is always eager to lend a hand. Its a great habit to get instilled from a young age.

As they get older there will be more expectations on them to help out. Tbf, they clean up after themselves in creche, pack away toys etc so I feel it would be sending them mixed messages if we were to pick up everything after them.

Neyite · 12-10-2020 2:42pm

Absolutely, from a young age he's had chores. So with us, there's basic things he needs to do like tidy his own room, his playroom and clean up after himself such as bringing his plate to the sink or sweeping up a mess he's made.

After that there's a few chores he does to get pocket money, such as empty the dishwasher, hoovering, cleaning or tidying communal areas.

When he's a bit older the chores will expand accordingly, like cooking and mowing the lawn but he's a bit too small for that yet. At the moment he still needs a bit of guidance on chores.

Foweva Awone · 12-10-2020 2:47pm

My son is 6, I'd get him to tidy up his toys after him and organise his stuff, put away his own laundry properly, clean out his lunch box after school, replace the loo roll when it needs to be done, put dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Now he does need reminders for all these things, he probably wouldn't do it if he wasn't asked.

When we're going shopping, I get him to help me write out the list, and he's responsible for holding on to it in the shops and making sure we get everything on the list.

He sometimes helps with putting out the cats food and water, I wouldn't let him do the litter.

I'm not sure what else I'd be comfortable letting him do, for example he's too young to do anything involving sprays or chemicals etc.

theteal · 12-10-2020 2:49pm

Yes, she's 4 in a few weeks. Puts toys away. Tidies room. "Makes" her bed, it was a lot easier before it was a mid-sleeper. Clears the table. Weirdly loves wiping kitchen cupboards if she comes across a stain. She tries to sweep but hasn't quite got the jist of that yet. Truth be told, she's a very helpful kid and loves helping/getting involved

Neyite · 12-10-2020 3:02pm

Tombo2001 wrote: »

My own view is that a lot depends on the child - I have two kids who will happily do chores and third that will scream and scream about having to do 3 minutes of hoovering.

I agree to an extent- there are some kids who won't kick off and happily help out and some that will. My lad is somewhere in-between, usually when he's got his head stuck in his tablet is when I get the wailing. So for me it's getting him to see that there are some chores that can't wait and I give him a bit of leeway on the ones that can.

eviltwin · 12-10-2020 3:48pm

Tombo2001 wrote: »

I find these threads a bit painful to read as the parents who feel they do a great job are always so quick to tell everyone else about it.

Sorry, but thats how I feel when reading these posts.

My own view is that a lot depends on the child - I have two kids who will happily do chores and third that will scream and scream about having to do 3 minutes of hoovering.

Yes, we all know that best in class is to have your kids doing chores from an early age, learning to be independent etc etc.

Assigning chores to your kids and actually getting them to do them are two entirely different things. One of my kids is brilliant at them, the other is a lazy feck who does a half hearted job most of the time. At least they know how to use the washing machine etc for future reference even if they moan and complain about using them. I won't be sending a child into the world who can't adult.

bee06 · 12-10-2020 7:52pm

I have a boy who will be three in December. He doesn’t have any formal chores but he is asked to help out. Putting things in the bin, taking his cups and plates to the sink or put in the dishwasher. He helps with the dinner or lunch sometimes by helping chopping veg or fruit with is child safe knife.

As another poster said, I have two brothers who couldn’t cook (one still can’t) when they moved out. They were spoilt and being honest we all were when we lived at home. Thankfully we largely copped ourselves on when we moved out but I still feel bad that I didn’t help out more. If we had been assigned chores when we were younger my mom could have made her life a bit easier.

SCOOP 64 · 12-10-2020 7:54pm

No, never did, they are are 16 and 19 now and still don't do nothing, i blame the parents.

Milly33 · 13-10-2020 1:41pm

We have a nearly three year old and since she understood really, we have had her tidy up. Just small things but she really enjoys it. Like she must tidy her toys up before going to bed, or if she has toys everywhere and wants to do something else i ask her to tidy up some first. And explain that this is to make more space all that goes. If we are emptying the dishwasher i will pass her, her things and she will put them away. Lots of small things really.. I just started it so she knows that she needs to tidy up after herself.

Not we have a nearly one year old and well id be afraid to start him doing anything because he would probably try to eat it or smash it. haha But well try

General manners is where I would be going with most of it, like if you make a mess tidy it up, say please and thank you. Lots of people said it was too early to start but didn't find that at all.. Like that she knows where the bin is and that you put rubbish in it... Would hate to see them go into the world with no manners and general sense really

Kintarō Hattori · 23-10-2020 9:55am

eviltwin wrote: »

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is independence. Mine have been doing chores since they could walk, obviously age appropriate. The goal has been to get them to adulthood with the ability to cook, clean, do basic DIY and car maintenance, mend their own clothes and save a few bob. Once they reach 18 then its up to them what they do with the rest of their lives but at least they will have been taught the basics.

I'm with you. Growing up I was so cosseted from the world it was shocking. I remember telling my mother I was going to leave home in my early 20s and asking her if she could show me a few things to cook. No was the reply. I ended up cooking noodles and canned meatballs and having no clue about managing money until I eventually got it together.

My 3 year old is great in that she insists, loudly, that she does lots of things for herself. Whenever I cook her supper I try to get her involved and show her what's involved. The other day she was having a hamburger for supper so she got the chair over to the counter. I explained how onions weren't so nice by themselves but delicious when mixed with other ingredients. Explained the cooking process, toasting the buns, putting on the cheese, sauces etc.
At the moment we're instilling into her that she has to clean up her toys after herself. If she's playing with one thing, it has to be cleaned up before something else comes out.

DSN · 28-10-2020 12:57pm

Tombo2001 wrote: »

I find these threads a bit painful to read as the parents who feel they do a great job are always so quick to tell everyone else about it.

Sorry, but thats how I feel when reading these posts.

My own view is that a lot depends on the child - I have two kids who will happily do chores and third that will scream and scream about having to do 3 minutes of hoovering.

Yes, we all know that best in class is to have your kids doing chores from an early age, learning to be independent etc etc.

Have to agree! Usually see 'my 3 year old hoovers the house & can do her own laundry & bring the bins out' & I feel like a crap parent because my 13 yr old has to be reminded to do basic **** like pick his underwear off the floor. We are forever doing up 'chore lists' but getting them to do it can be torture you'd swear we were running a concentration camp according to them. We are getting there. My husband was spoilt rotten by their Mum he didnt turn out too bad so there is hope!

tscul32 · 30-10-2020 12:25am

14yo empties the bins every other day. 12yo preps dinner on Fridays and empties dishwasher when not in school. 8yo sets the table for dinner. On top of that they're "supposed to" keep their rooms tidy. 12yo will often get roped into drying dishes and cooks the odd extra meal, 14yo is becoming a dab hand at DIY, 8yo is great at hoovering. They all bring their own plates to the dishwasher, dirty clothes to the wash basket, put their clean clothes away and generally have to do anything else that's asked of them.
However, most of it is done with moans and groans which we just smile at. And try getting them to have a shower and we're the worst in the world. It's often more of a chore to get them to do the chores. But needs must and I refuse to raise mammy's boys.

Do you give your kids chores to do ?

Comments