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08-05-2021, 16:10   #46
tellmeabit
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I would love to stay and fight, but I don't have the drive. I feel broken. I visited the company nurse 2weeks ago, and my blood pressure is high. I have never had high blood pressure, and I am sure this is causing it. I don't want those feckers to be the cause of a heart attack or stroke.
Great idea regarding walking. It helps a lot, thanks!
I am in a similar situation and have gone down the hr route with no success. A year later and it's it same craic, moving goalposts changing rules to suit particular individuals. In A small section 2 people have left and I am looking to move to another job as soon as a suitable one can be gotten. It a just not worth the stress and health risks, make the most of the job for yourself and look to exit
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08-05-2021, 17:36   #47
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They get by so well because they manipulate other people to get what they want. They make friends with the right people to get ahead, if you cant do anything for them or worse, youre a threat to them, they'll go out of their way to make your life difficult.
Absolutely spot on. Nail on head. That is them to a t. They are cute hoors. Know who to suck up to.
 
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08-05-2021, 17:41   #48
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I did it, I resigned. I know a lot of people advised me to hang on and play the game. And I really appreciate the advice.
But unless you have been in that situation, it is hard to comprehend how worthless, undervalued and gaslit you feel.
I will hopefully look back at this and know that I made the right decision for my health. I am continuing with counselling so that I never have to experience this again.
 
08-05-2021, 22:07   #49
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Good person. ðŸ‘
I was one of the people saying that, but I can see you are as light as feather now. Onwards and upwards. Good luck.
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08-05-2021, 23:41   #50
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I did it, I resigned. I know a lot of people advised me to hang on and play the game. And I really appreciate the advice.
But unless you have been in that situation, it is hard to comprehend how worthless, undervalued and gaslit you feel.
I will hopefully look back at this and know that I made the right decision for my health. I am continuing with counselling so that I never have to experience this again.
Best of luck, you'll bounce back from it in time, amazing how much good a break from it will do you
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09-05-2021, 17:07   #51
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Absolutely spot on. Nail on head. That is them to a t. They are cute hoors. Know who to suck up to.
You're looking at this wrong.

They're not sucking up, but rather they're playing the game, and you're not.

I'm not having a go at you, but something has happened to make you the outsider. This can happen quite easily, as groups like to direct their negative emotions at a scapegoat.

What you need to do is avoid this going forward.

When you join a company you must make relationships with the people who have power. People see this and they will not risk bullying you. Also, you greatly increase your chance of being promoted and in general being protected.

I know in school they teach you to keep your head down and try to earn reward through competency, but that's not how the workplace works.

You need to stop seeing the game as sucking up and start playing it. Then you won't have this problem again.

Regarding your current situation, I think every option is OK. But if I had to choose I'd say figure out a way to stay there until you have another job. Perhaps that means listening to music on your headphone in work and forming relationships with people outside of your team.

Good luck.
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09-05-2021, 17:20   #52
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OP not sure if you're still reading this but best of luck in the future and try not to be too hard on yourself.
Get yourself sorted out and look forward not back.
The thing about pr!$ks like them is the common reason they bully/pick on other people is jealousy, it's that simple. And if they're jealous of you must mean you've been doing something right so good riddance to them.
Take care.
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09-05-2021, 17:44   #53
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OP not sure if you're still reading this but best of luck in the future and try not to be too hard on yourself.
Get yourself sorted out and look forward not back.
The thing about pr!$ks like them is the common reason they bully/pick on other people is jealousy, it's that simple. And if they're jealous of you must mean you've been doing something right so good riddance to them.
Take care.
Still reading, and thanks for your kind words.
 
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14-05-2021, 00:02   #54
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OP, just off the phone to my sister who is in a similar situation. Colleague giving her grief is putting it mildly. Tough seeing someone you love going through this. Hope you're doing okay OP.
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14-05-2021, 03:49   #55
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OP, just off the phone to my sister who is in a similar situation. Colleague giving her grief is putting it mildly. Tough seeing someone you love going through this. Hope you're doing okay OP.
Doing crap, look at me awake at 3.40 am. The annoyance that in 2 weeks I won't have a job or an income is weighing heavily on me. I feel really defeated.
I was beginning to wonder if I was doing the right thing, and in our morning teams meeting, waiting for the boss to log in, my last colleague logged in. Said 'good morning men'. That would be fine, except I am the only female in the group. A little subtle dig, on its own, nobody would bat an eyelid. But over the last few months, these digs are really affecting me. I bust out crying randomly. I spent most of yesterday crying.
I can't believe people can be so cruel.
I feel for your sister. It is a lonely place.
My workplace had a big darkness into light event there. Raising money for Pieta, yet turning a blind eye to their staff being bullied.
 
15-05-2021, 10:58   #56
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OP, just off the phone to my sister who is in a similar situation. Colleague giving her grief is putting it mildly. Tough seeing someone you love going through this. Hope you're doing okay OP.
Hey. Sorry to hear about your sister. I think bullying is pretty common. Because it is covert and subtle, it is hard to prove or get anyone to believe.
I'm not great, thanks for asking. I'm angry that I will be jobless, while they still have their job. It's not fair.
 
16-05-2021, 15:23   #57
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Money aside do you think deep down OP youd rather not work there anymore ?
I think you're better off out of it, it's really after having an effect on your mental health going by your posts.
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16-05-2021, 18:02   #58
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When you're feeling fragile, digs or perceived digs hit hard. It was inevitable that you were going to leave this job. In my anecdotal experience, companies rarely handle bullying well and the problem never goes away until somebody leaves. It looks like it was always going to be you in this case. There's no point in regretting what you should or shouldn't have done at this stage. You're now jobless and need to find something else asap. Be prepared for questions about why you left your previous job.
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16-05-2021, 22:45   #59
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Hope things improve for you OP. My poor sister doubted herself also but then the bully became careless (e.g. signing my sister's name to dodgy correspondance). Think you're better off away from this toxic work colleague. All the best
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17-05-2021, 12:24   #60
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Good for you OP. To hi diddly heck with them. I know how you feel. Ive been through it. I almost felt like that when I started this new job due to past experiences it does affect you for a while so be aware of that.

I've since gotten a lot more positive feedback lately and feel like I fit in my new team much better now so hopefully you find a new bunch of lovely people to work with.
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