Do you know any transgender people?

I did. She killed herself.

fryup wrote:

Well do you? i don't know any (as far as i know)

Yup


<snip>

noubliezjamais wrote: »

I'm not transphobic as I actually am bisexual and want to get castration (as birth control and have received ostracism from people for that).

This has got to be one of the most bizzare things I have ever read.

It's not like birth control is particularly difficult ffs.

Any way, I have to dash - I'm off to book a decapitation, I believe it's a great cure for headaches!


Also - no, I don't know anyone transgender.

Hi

I employed 2 trans people. One was a young lad directly out of school, then another a few years later who was a friend of of the first lad. After a number of years they both transitioned to female.

When I employed them I though they were both young men, no idea they had different ideas.

TBH it made my life, running the business, a living nightmare. Both were customer facing, and I had to deal with endless situations which required tightrope diplomacy, something I am not good at. Some issues were internal, like the women in the office, none of whom wanted their toilet shared with staff they previously knew as men. Other issues came from customers, I remember when one of them had just started voice coaching (Govt funded) to sound feminine, he would start off telephone conversations with customers as a lady, and gradually change to full masculine at the end. This used to confuse the feck out of customers who didn't know who they were speaking to.

I also had to deal with my friends, who used to make my life even more difficult by making fun of my staff...

I have strong opinions on the transgender surge, but I rarely voice them as I find, in general, the trans community to be extremist, illogical, and pretty ruthless in their on line attacks.

Only ever known one that I'm aware of.

Guy joined the company I was with. Small guy with a raspy voice, but just another guy. Casually dropped in mention of his "husband" during a conversation - this was before the referendum - so I assumed he'd gotten married somewhere that wasn't behind the times. Whatevs.

Much much later he sent me an email from his personal address, which was a woman's name. I knew he wasn't married to a woman, so I was a bit confused, but didn't really think much of it.

Shortly after that someone mentioned that he was trans, and all the bits fell into place.

Nice guy, very good at what he does, and good fun too.


There was a relatively infamous trans woman here on boards, long, long before it was ever close to acceptable in the mainstream. Poor girl got a lot of abuse which is a deep black mark on boards' history. But she didn't really do herself many favours either. She was exceptionally combative and hostile, even to people trying to support her. Notorious for the same attitude around her college campus too.

I think it's understandable though tbh. Trans women get the worst treatment from bigots. People who will deny their right to exist, to their faces, accuse them of all sorts of sexual crimes and deviancy, and otherwise treat them like subhuman scum. So it's very understandable that many transwomen will be angry and hostile by default when it comes to "normal" people commenting on them. Trans men by contrast, don't get it easy, but they fly under the radar much more readily.

There's not an entire cohort of people desperate to "out" trans men, ban them from public spaces or accuse them of being perverts and paedophiles. You'll rarely see the question asked online, "What if the man you were dating turned out to be trans?". But you'll often hear the opposite question.

Because men aren't terrified that the guy they're having a laugh with might have been a woman. But they are terrified that the woman they're eying up at the bar may have had a penis.

There's probably also a certain level of "gender culture" stuff going on. Women are to a certain extent raised to be wilting violets. To accept their lot and work around it. Men are not. Men are raised to break down barriers and be strong. So when a trans man sees discrimination, he accepts it to a certain extent, it's just something else on top of the rest.
A transwoman is not used to discrimination barriers. And when someone puts them in front of her, her default instinct is to break it down rather than go around it. So they tend, as far as I can see, to find themselves engaged in far more hostile social interactions, than trans men do.

seamus wrote: »

There was a relatively infamous trans woman here on boards, long, long before it was ever close to acceptable in the mainstream. Poor girl got a lot of abuse which is a deep black mark on boards' history. But she didn't really do herself many favours either. She was exceptionally combative and hostile, even to people trying to support her. Notorious for the same attitude around her college campus too.

A black stain?? ..GTFO

That poster was unpleasant in the extreme who was intransigent in their views and attacked anybody who didnt goosestep behind their campaign.

Actually blew a great chance to sell their circumstance to a wide audience. But didnt went the combative route and alienated most of their audience.

I've no sympathy for the grief they got.

I know a handful through work now, and although they do have it harder than your usual 20-something they seem to be relatively well adjusted. One woman I knew many years ago had very severe mental health difficulties which made her quite scary at times. But it was no surprise given how she was treated over the years.

seamus wrote: »

I don't disagree that she was unpleasant. But every trans person is not obliged to be an ambassador or representative for their "cause", any more than every straight man is a representative for the other ~3 billion of us.

The abuse she received for being trans was unwarranted and allowed to go on for far too long. By all means give her hell for being a fvcking asshole, but the transphobic abuse is something else entirely.

Imagine a thread about Bill Cosby that was nothing but wall-to-wall racism. He's an asshole. But it doesn't make racism OK.

Actually you make a fair point.
1 person in circumstance is never a spokesperson for everybody in the samesituation.

My point is driven by their anger(sometimes vicious) that boards posters didnt bow to their campaign/lifestyle/orientation but they themselves didnt see an opportunity to show peope about trans...but sought to alienate themselves with their behaviour and then lament how people were bigots.

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Several.
Some are sound.
Some aren't.

Knew most of them before they transitioned. The sound one's were sound then, the others weren't.
I find being sound is a human thing not a gender thing.

I could do without the woman who chats endlessly to me about make-up. I understand that this is very exciting for her and she is learning a whole new way to be in the world. But I'm a dyky kinda dyke - I know f all about make-up and care even less. Please stop talking to me about make-up

What do you mean sound?

noubliezjamais wrote: »

What do you mean sound?

take it you're not Irish?

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Please stop talking to me about make-up

What's your favourite lipstick by the way?:D

I think you've hit the nail on the head. An asshole is an asshole is an asshole.

Unfortunately we're still quite a way off having full personality transplants available. You can change your gender, but you basically end up with an asshole of woman where you used to have an asshole of a man, or vice versa.

If you don't start off as likeable you are very unlikely to end up that way.