Non-Stutterer's View

Stephen P · 14-01-2008 8:18pm #1

I've robbed this from another forum and I think it's a good subject for this relatively new forum.

What are the views of non-stutterer's on people who stutter? Maybe you have a friend who stutter's or have a family member who stutter's...
Do you know enough information about stuttering? Or anything at all?

Experiences from those who stutter are welcome, what do your friends and family think of your stutter?

I'm interested to hear the good things and also bad things.

sunzz · 14-01-2008 9:10pm

I know loads of people who stutter/stammer doesn't bother me what-so-ever. No-one is perfect and anyone who thinks they are sorry, but your **** still stinks.

I'd have NO quams at all dating a girl with a stammer.

BigPhil · 15-01-2008 12:01pm

This is a very good idea for a thread

I know alot of people feel embarrassed when they talk to a person with a stammer. I have been in lots of different situations where this has happened and I notice the persons expression change and sometimes they would even look around to see if anyone else could hear our conversation.

I would really like to hear non-stutters opinion's, especially from people that work with or have interviewed people that stutter for jobs.

unreggd · 16-01-2008 12:22am

No close friends/relatives with one but no problems with anyone who stutters

WildIrishRose · 16-01-2008 3:55am

An Ex of mine has a stutter.... was never an issue with me at all. In fact i dont think i ever mentioned it, he was a friend of mine first.. I never made him feel like he was taken any longer to tell me something than a person with out a stutter. He didn't have it all the time. We still are very good mate's, he has a great job and he doesnt let it affect his confidence!

Stephen P · 16-01-2008 11:20am

I've decided to sticky this thread because I think over time it will be of a benefit to those who stutter, perhaps it will give a sense of "No one minds my stutter so why should I?".

From my experience I've never come across someone who has had a problem with my speech. My partner says it doesn't bother her in the slightest and previous girlfriends never had a problem. My work colleagues have never had a problem either, well not that I'm aware off. I do sometimes get confused looks from people but I guess they're having trouble figuring out what I'm saying. I'm used to that so it doesn't bother me anymore, unless they give me a look of complete "what the **** is he saying?", thats just plain ignorance and should learn to have patience.

Caveat · 16-01-2008 11:31am

I've known a few stammerers through the years - don't know any that well currently though. Have to say it never bothered me at all socially or whatever. I suppose the nearest I got to discomfort was just 'feeling for them' especially if it was in a heated situation of some sort.

Also have some friends with lisps - no problem there either.

(Actually I used to stammer - but strangely, only with a few drinks in me. Not even when drunk, but just after, say, a few pints I found that I had stammering trouble if I began a sentence with a vowel. So I just had to restructure my sentences. I was like this for about 10 years then it just stopped.)

Dave H · 16-01-2008 8:31pm

The worst thing anyone can do, I think, is laugh at somebody when they stammer. My brother-in-law has a stammer, not as bad now,but when I first met him it was really bad. But because I was only a kid when he arrived at the front door, I've gotten so used to his stammer that I would'nt even notice it now.And I actually work with two people with stammers and unfortunately a lot of the guys I work start sniggering when the guys are struggling, but the worst is when they say to me "How do you not p1ss yourself when such and such is speaking to you?" Which is a rotten thing to say.
But in response to the original post,I have no opinion on the matter because something like a stammer would have no bearing whatsoever on my opinion of someone. Okay, I'll be honest, sometimes you have to be patient if somebody is struggling with a word or sentence, but a little bit of patience is nothing to endure to not offend somebody who has done nothing to offend you.

neuro-praxis · 26-01-2008 12:56pm

My friend has a fetish for guys with stammers. Stammers and limps. If she meets a stammerer or a limper, she's weak at the knees and begins flirting wildly.

I have one friend with a stammer, my friend's husband, but I hardly ever see him (he lives in Australia!). When he is struggling with a word, it can go on and on and on. I always wait, I never finish the word for him. Is that the right thing to do???

What is easier for you, or does it depend on the individual?

My husband has a mild lisp, I can't hear it at all. When somebody points it out, he cheerfully refers to it as his speech improvement.

ParkRunner · 30-01-2008 7:47pm

Invite your friend on here neuro, she will have a ball

Yes it´s best I think to wait and let the person finish what they are saying. And not to say something like take a breath or slow down, if we went any slower we wouldnt get any words at all out:p

Stephen P · 31-01-2008 11:03am

A friend of mine who I know through the ISA got a t-shirt made up before saying on the front "Stutter's make better lovers" and on the back "we repeat and prolong".

ems_12 · 31-01-2008 11:16am

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I always wait, I never finish the word for him. Is that the right thing to do???

What is easier for you, or does it depend on the individual?

EF wrote:

Yes it´s best I think to wait and let the person finish what they are saying. And not to say something like take a breath or slow down, if we went any slower we wouldnt get any words at all out

Always wondering about this - I often chat away and finish sentences for ppl if I know what they're going to say, stammer or otherwise. But then if someone has a severe stammer and I finish their sentence, I feel like I look impatient, and I'm rushing them to finish!

Khannie · 15-02-2008 5:39pm

I have two friends with stutters. I came on here to find out if it's better to try to help by finishing the sentence or just wait (I'm in no doubt now

). Honestly, the thought of it bothering me never even crossed my mind. Couldn't give a fiddlers.

Sabre0001 · 15-02-2008 5:44pm

One of my lecturers had a stammer...Never bothered me - only time I got annoyed was when I heard people being impatient with him; he's a nice guy too so it just makes it worse.

Fallen Seraph · 15-02-2008 5:47pm

My brother's terribly afflicted by a stammer, and I've no problem with it. I really can't see what all the fuss about it is, tbh.

Stephen P · 16-02-2008 1:37pm

Khannie wrote: »

I have two friends with stutters. I came on here to find out if it's better to try to help by finishing the sentence or just wait (I'm in no doubt now ). Honestly, the thought of it bothering me never even crossed my mind. Couldn't give a fiddlers.

Personally, I don't like it when people finish my sentences but they see it as been a good thing. :rolleyes:

Fallen Seraph wrote: »

My brother's terribly afflicted by a stammer, and I've no problem with it. I really can't see what all the fuss about it is, tbh.

My thinking behind it is that in this day and age people are constantly on the go and don't have the patience to stop and listen to someone with a stutter. People are very impatient these days, I work sometimes in public cash office and the ignorance of people sometimes amazes me, they can't wait to pay their bill and just get out of there and its nothing to do with my stutter, they're just impatient.

RaveMaster · 27-02-2008 1:38pm

Hi all,
I am a non stutter (it feels strange to classify myself as that because I just take it for granted). I have no problem with chatting to people with stammers or any other speak disorder for that matter.

I have one question though. Do people who suffer from a stammer know why they stammer and what causes it or is it just something that they have and don't know why?

BigPhil · 27-02-2008 2:21pm

RaveMaster wrote: »

I have one question though. Do people who suffer from a stammer know why they stammer and what causes it or is it just something that they have and don't know why?

There is no definitive answer to your question as the actual cause of stammering is still not known. Some people think that it is genetic and it is passed down from parents to children, but in my case nobody in my family has a stammer so that theory isn't really conclusive. Other people think that it is psychological and could be caused from a traumatic event from childhood. Some scientists actually believe that the cause of stuttering is organic, that neurological differences exist between the brains of those who stammer and those who don't.

It seems that in most cases people develop a stammer when they are learning to talk (so it becomes a habit) and while some are lucky enough to lose it after a few years others are burdened with it, to various degrees, for the rest of our lives.

Stephen P · 27-02-2008 2:30pm

I couldn't have put it better Phil!!

pat1187 · 25-03-2008 1:04pm

My son ,while he hasn't a stammer as such,does speak too quickly and hence has difficulty being understood,SO much so it is causing him difficulty. My wife is arranging for him to see a '' speech therapist '' (?) at least to the best of my knowledge.I would need to check but from the waiting time I would say she is a professional. I wonder if anyone has been through the same?

Kur4mA · 01-07-2008 2:42pm

I'm a non-stutterer and have absolutely no problem with anyone that has. I've come across people with one before and there's a guy in my gaming clan with a very bad stammer. He's also in a band and doesn't seem to let it affect him in the slightest. I don't see how interacting with somebody that has a stutter/stammer could bother anyone tbh, other than small minded fools.

p.s what is the different between a stammer/stutter?

Esel · 05-07-2008 8:01pm

kyub wrote: »

...what is the different between a stammer/stutter?

No difference. Afaik 'stammer' is US common term, 'stutter' is UK.

Kirnsy · 01-10-2008 12:32am

wouldnt change my opinion on any individual.nobody is perfect and maybe people pay more attention to what someone with a stammer says than others.

VFS · 11-12-2008 11:53pm

Here's a really captivating film about Hannah, a girl who stutters. It also gives an account from her parent's perspective.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KtncNtL-SI

Standard Toaster · 12-12-2008 12:05am

^^^

Very good, and sad. My brother has a stutter. He believes he started when one of his female teachers in primary grabbed him by the shoulders & shook him silly when he was messing one day. He normally fine but can get bad when he's exceited or telling a story in front of a few people.

Jammyc · 29-12-2008 4:33pm

Tbh, I think a girl with a stutter would be kinda cute:p

Blue-Eyed · 21-01-2009 8:22pm

I only stutter when..I know that someone's listening to me, and they're watching me. And it's only a few words..for example the word "seven"..and if I tried to say "stutter" I would stutter as well :pac:

My mom has said that she used to stutter as well, but she grew out of it, so I'm hoping I will too

I was supposed to have some sort of small surgery when I was younger, but I got so scared and my mom called them telling I was sick. I'm wondering now if it would've changed anything

-Blue- :cool:

wrmwit · 23-01-2009 1:17pm

Stephen P wrote: »

A friend of mine who I know through the ISA got a t-shirt made up before saying on the front "Stutter's make better lovers" and on the back "we repeat and prolong".

Ha, that made me laugh!

I used to have a bad stammer up until I was 18 and I went to college. I was very shy when I was in school because of the stammer. I hated the slagging I used to get from the other kids when I'd be asked to stand up and talk. I went to college and it was like I lost my stammer over night. My confidence grew as a result. A lot of people used to say that they never noticed my stammer but I wasn't sure if they were just being nice.

The only time I stammer now is when I'm after having a few pints and it depends on my level of tiredness. I also get stuck on word beginning with R.......and the funny thing is my name starts with an R! I'm working on that. I find that if I relax and take a deep breath before I introduce myself helps but sometimes I'm caught off guard and that can be embarrassing. But maybe they don't notice!

Shake n Bake!

TheBa · 11-02-2009 2:08pm

Interesting views all round. I stammer quite a lot but it varies between situations and company. It's not as bad now as when I was in school and that can be largely attributed to 'The McGuire Programme', a course that i started a few years ago.

It tackles the the problem physically, mentally and emotionally. It just takes a lot of patience and work but it does work! Google it for more info

petebrads · 09-03-2009 2:28pm

(Actually I used to stammer - but strangely, only with a few drinks in me. Not even when drunk, but just after, say, a few pints I found that I had stammering trouble if I began a sentence with a vowel. So I just had to restructure my sentences. I was like this for about 10 years then it just stopped.)[/quote]

:cool: I have a stammer myself and find that after a few pints my speech improves alot, but I know other stammerers who find it worse when they have a few drinks. I found on nights out and socailising no-one really knew I had a stammer. I would describe myself as a convert stammerer trying to avoid words I would find trouble in saying. This gave me a sense of falseness or pretending to be someone i am not, which can result in alot of pent up issues. I have found that people respect me alot more for saying what I want to say ''stammer or no stammer'' and as a result my speech has improved alot as I have came to terms with my stammer

. I feel that an important part of coming to terms with a stammer, is the desensitisation process, advertising the fact that you stammer by using ''voluntary stammers'' to make the listener as well as yourself aware that you have a stammer. In the long term this will result in the stammer becoming something ''so big'' affecting everyday life becoming something ''minute'' as I find that most people dont care whether you stammer or not.

Pete:)

oirishman · 25-03-2009 4:46pm

esel wrote: »

No difference. Afaik 'stammer' is US common term, 'stutter' is UK.

A Stammer is where the person cant get the word out.. S............they become tongue tied
A Stutter is where they keep repeating the first letter Fffffffffffffcuk the machine gun effect..
I am a Stammerer myself

Non-Stutterer's View

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