What's the etiquette here??

Leg End Reject wrote: »

A query for all you fine gentlemen about an issue that's being examined in another thread.

How would you recommend one approaches the elimination of skid marks with one's own urine? "Blasting with piss", if you will.

Hi L, this “process” works fine for any, stubborn, detritus clinging to the sides, or back, of the bowl but for the underwater marks you’re at the mercy of the flush.

To get rid of the outer skids you just have to take aim and add a bit of pressure to the “stream”. For maximum “clearance” a man would want to pull the hood back a little. Really focuses the “impact”, wouldn’t want to be wearing cream chinos though.

Hope that helps.

I recall attending a mates 40th party in his house last year. It was about 2am and only 7 or 8 attendees were left, all having the craic in the sitting room. I slinked off to lay some pipe, walked out of the room phone in hand, eluding to the fact I had a call to make when in fact I had full intentions of stinking the ground floor out after a night of scoffing three plates of chicken curry, 5 kebab skewers and 14 bottles of Tiger.

Slipped into the WC under the stairs where it so happened there were numerous coats hanging on the back of the door. "That's odd I thought", as countless Kursk-class monsters were depth-charged into unfamiliar waters. The exhaust gases were offensively eye-watering, so I thought it best to stand up sans-wipe and open the paltry excuse for a window behind the sink. It was a quite the stretch; you know the type of window, the size of a postage stamp yet you still need to stretch as far as you can to get it open as wide as you can.

Whilst doing so, with the co-ordination of a blind darts player, I knocked over a substantial lit scented candle. It landed straight in the sink, catapulting hot wax all over the floor, the walls, and all the coats on the back of the door. There I was, cacks around my ankles, pissed, a sh1tty arse and melted wax bloody everywhere.

I spent a good 10 minutes scraping the wax off the floor and coats and flicking it into the jacks. Once I felt I did enough (which was no where near enough), I shuffled the coats around so no-one would see their new wax coatings. Everyone knows lit candles are only grand for the first 2 hours of pints, they should then be swiftly extinguished for everyones sake.

perrito caliente wrote: »

I'm not certain women should be allowed in this thread.

Nonsense, everyone should be welcome.

Jimson wrote: »

Picked up a pack of flushable wipes.

I don't think I can go back to bog roll ever again.

My hole feels spotless, refreshed, moisturised and squeaky clean and absolutely no tear on it from the bog roll. They also leave a nice scent on the ring piece.

99c for 40 wipes. Bye Bye bog roll.

Are you on a public sewer or private septic tank /treatment plant Jim ? If it's the latter I wouldn't use too many of those wipes . They'll flush alright but mightn't go far past the u bend .

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I had to open my business today for a few hours, and asked one of the lads to come in and give me a hand. I was out last night watching the Liverpool game, and I've a stage 6 hangover as a result.



Anways, it got to about half 10 and I felt my 'sheriff's badge' starting to twitch. Headed into the jacks and dropped a serious anchor into Brown Water Bay. I was sitting there afterwards on my phone when what do I hear but the jacks door opening, and someone heading into the stall beside mine. Down go the trousers, a slight groan, a string of watery farts, and then a noise that sounded like a box of old boots being thrown out of an attic. A smaller fart to finish up, and a deep exhalation of breath. :eek:



I was shocked, and very angry. Am I overreacting, or should the fúcker have waited until I had finished using the boombox before he decided to go and pinch one out? He's an Eastern European, so don't know if they have different cultural norms. I didn't say a word to him for the rest of the morning, and am in a shocker of a mood since. :mad:

This was difficult to understand I am not going to lie.


I have realized I am not actually fluent in english from this post.

At least i have learnt something.

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

That’s no problem, dude. I haven’t got a clue what you are on about in the majority of your posts either. Let’s call it a score draw.

Fair nuff.


What is a sheriff's badge?

IAMAMORON wrote: »

It is a brass thing that Sheriffs wear on their lapel to indicate to the general public that they are the sheriff.

Are they itchy?