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I've lost a lot of friends to suicide.

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  • 28-05-2019 2:25pm
    #1
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭


    And every time it makes sense.

    Its not like ..oh i was taken aback.

    But its still a shock ...

    A couple of months ago.... a friend. A good friend. I miss him. I can't believe i won't see him again.

    Before that three other friends.

    And now today i found out a girl i went to school with took her own life and then her partner about 3 months later...i know i hadn't seen her in a long time

    None them surprised me. When you looked deeper they were suffering. I knew. I knew they had demons.

    I keep asking myself why didn't i try to save them.....like even a kind word can help...i was trying to give kind words.

    I didn't know she needed to be saved. I mean i knew ..but i thought she had enough people around her ..and she wouldn't have wanted me anyway..i kind of knew she had emotional stuff ..but she had so many mates etc ..i felt i would be bugging her so i was just nice ..I SHOULD HAVE TRIED HARDER...

    I am going to try harder.

    I am going to try and be my kindest to everyone from her on in.

    Every time this happens i feel like i am losing it!

    Sorry ..i just needed to vent ...

    Ironically my mom is at a funeral today. So i can't talk to her. The mother of her friend died. So i have to be there for them.

    Why is it happening so much more these days?

    THIS SUCKS!


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    patmahe
    Registered Users Posts: 224 ✭✭patmahe


    You're welcome to vent away, I lost my brother to suicide a few years ago now. I knew he was down and I did try to reach him, but I think once someone has made up their mind about doing it, its very hard to change it.

    I will always wonder if there was more I could have done, but in the end he completely shut down despite us having a great relationship up to that point. I also think that part of you doesn't really believe someone you care about will do it as its too horrific for you to contemplate.

    For what its worth I used Pieta house's grief counseling service and found it very good and it is tailored towards those bereaved by suicide as its a very unique type of grief. Give them a call and set up an appointment, it helped me a lot. https://www.pieta.ie/ive-been-bereaved-by-suicide/

    If you are in crisis, please go to the following page and get help immediately, phone 999 if you have to.
    https://www.mentalhealthireland.ie/need-help-now/


  • Options
    #3
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    patmahe wrote: »
    You're welcome to vent away, I lost my brother to suicide a few years ago now. I knew he was down and I did try to reach him, but I think once someone has made up their mind about doing it, its very hard to change it.

    I will always wonder if there was more I could have done, but in the end he completely shut down despite us having a great relationship up to that point. I also think that part of you doesn't really believe someone you care about will do it as its too horrific for you to contemplate.

    For what its worth I used Pieta house's grief counseling service and found it very good and it is tailored towards those bereaved by suicide as its a very unique type of grief. Give them a call and set up an appointment, it helped me a lot. https://www.pieta.ie/ive-been-bereaved-by-suicide/

    If you are in crisis, please go to the following page and get help immediately, phone 999 if you have to.
    https://www.mentalhealthireland.ie/need-help-now/


    Thank you.

    I am sorry about your brother.

    I am ok. :) Thank you.

    You will be ok too.


  • Options
    #4
    Cherry Blossom
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 6,928 Mod ✭✭✭✭Cherry Blossom


    OP, have you thought about doing the Mental Health First Aid course or Suicide Assist Course? These are normally free of charge and are run every so often at Family Resource Centres and other community groups around the country. Both are very worthwhile courses. Ive done the Mental Health First Aid myself. While it would be great if I never have to use the skills I learned it's great to have them in my toolbox.


  • Options
    #5
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Cherry Blossom wrote: »
    OP, have you thought about doing the Mental Health First Aid course or Suicide Assist Course? These are normally free of charge and are run every so often at Family Resource Centres and other community groups around the country. Both are very worthwhile courses. Ive done the Mental Health First Aid myself. While it would be great if I never have to use the skills I learned it's great to have them in my toolbox.


    You have a beautiful name. Thank you Cherry blossom.

    I think once i feel i have the warmth of people like you even in a post. It has helped.




    I've done an asist course at the oasis centre.

    It was only 2 days though.

    I am humble about what i can offer to people going though such pain.

    I am only a stupid little girl. What do i know about the world? I am not like you.

    But i needed them and i miss them so.

    But there is no need to worry or feel bad. I am happy in my ways.
    They would not want me to feel bad. They would want me to be kind and look after my friends and myself.

    I am not sad today.

    Take care of yourself as well as others Cherry Blossom you are obv a caring person. I wish i had your wisdom.


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