Sh*te your co-workers say

Not so civil servant · 13-03-2019 11:32am #1

How many here are trapped in an office every day with colleagues that drain the life out of you? How do you deal with it?

Not allowed headphones so have to listen to painful conversations about the same topics over and over.

Yes ok I know you have been to Australia, you have only mentioned it 3 times a day for the past year and a half.

No I really don't care about your neighbour's sewage system that you have felt the need to tell me about every day this week on tea break.

Referring to Ed Sheeran as Ted Sheeran wasn't funny the first time you said it.

But hey....only 30 more years until retirement....

B_ecke_r · 13-03-2019 11:35am

there's always one who knows it all about Brexit

TheValeyard · 13-03-2019 11:37am

B*tches about the economy, government, state of the country......does not vote.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 13-03-2019 11:39am

If you ever embarrass me in front of a client like that again I'll put your head through the wall.

Not so civil servant · 13-03-2019 11:39am

Have one dinosaur that makes constant inappropriate comments.

Told his manager that she was built for comfort not for speed.

GG66 · 13-03-2019 11:41am

Talks about people in soap operas like it's real life

amcalester · 13-03-2019 11:42am

There's 1 idiot in my office, stupid voice, stupid accent always talking ****e but I can't get away from him.

I've tried closing the door but as I work alone it doesn't work.

Steve F · 13-03-2019 11:43am

Where do I start?

Feisar · 13-03-2019 11:45am

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

If you ever embarrass me in front of a client like that again I'll put your head through the wall.

I've met one or two lads like that in my time. Some eye contact and "I don't fancy your chances however if you want to give it a go..." Has settled it.

One lad threatened to put me out the window, it was in a stacked porta cabin on a building site temp office. I locked the door and said, window's the only option now. Soon softened his attitude.

Mr. Incognito · 13-03-2019 11:48am

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

fryup · 13-03-2019 11:49am

does anyone have the workplace bragger/know it all??

eg.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z8pgV74_Hw

Potential-Monke · 13-03-2019 11:50am

'Stop hitting me'

devlinio · 13-03-2019 11:51am

My ex-boss used to say an office is better than remote working. (Yea, that's great when you live 30 minutes away, and everyone else lives 1 hours or more away.

He also used to say that a small company is better than a big company as you get to do more work (Yea, I'm sure earning more in a bigger company for doing less is a lot worse).

Plopsu · 13-03-2019 11:52am

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Now all I can think about is Eulogy by Tool

Feisar · 13-03-2019 12:06pm

devlinio wrote: »

My ex-boss used to say an office is better than remote working. (Yea, that's great when you live 30 minutes away, and everyone else lives 1 hours or more away.

He also used to say that a small company is better than a big company as you get to do more work (Yea, I'm sure earning more in a bigger company for doing less is a lot worse).

In bigger companies one can get pigeon holed though.

Canyon86 · 13-03-2019 12:08pm

Co-workers making personal phonecalls within earshot of everybody else is a pet hate of mine,

i.e ringing up about an ESB Bill, or ringing spouse

NSAman · 13-03-2019 12:10pm

Is there anything about your family life I DO NOT know?

Steve F · 13-03-2019 12:13pm

fryup wrote: »

does anyone have the workplace bragger/know it all??

eg.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z8pgV74_Hw

How did they keep straight faces during this?

NabyLadistheman · 13-03-2019 12:13pm

'You know that kind of way'

Mickeroo · 13-03-2019 12:14pm

Not so civil servant wrote: »

Have one dinosaur that makes constant inappropriate comments.

Told his manager that she was built for comfort not for speed.

I'm torn in that that is clearly an awful, inappropriate thing to say to someone but I can't help admire how few ****s are given by the guy.

Gremlinertia · 13-03-2019 12:15pm

One lad who tells long winded stories about the day's happenings as if they directly affect him, then closes the conversation with "ah but sure you know yourself, not my circus, not my monkeys" Every. Single. Time.

devlinio · 13-03-2019 12:18pm

Also OP, no earphones during the workday? I couldn't get through a full workday without Spotify, podcasts or the Radio. I wouldn't work for a company that banned earphone. (Although I do work in Software, I could also use them when I worked in construction).

Tacklebox · 13-03-2019 12:20pm

The new age spiritualist, sunshine lollipops and rainbows.... nobody's allowed to mention anything that might effect the positive flow of the universe....

mayo londoner · 13-03-2019 12:24pm

It's more the phrases that people use in work such as 'touch base'. The one that really bugs the **** outta me is referring to the company as 'we' every time, it's your boss/director that's getting the profits you idiot, not you.

binana · 13-03-2019 12:26pm

So much diet talk! "Being good", slimming world, how many "sins" or calories are in what, comments on healthfulness of each others' lunches. I suffer on and off from disordered eating and I find it all really triggering. I try to avoid the conversations and don't respond to comments about what I'm eating but just hope I don't seem stuck up or whatever.

OneArt · 13-03-2019 12:28pm

Not so civil servant wrote: »

How many here are trapped in an office every day with colleagues that drain the life out of you? How do you deal with it - I go on a lot of smoke breaks now just to get away for a few mins.

Not allowed headphones so have to listen to painful conversations about the same topics over and over.

Yes ok I know you have been to Australia, you have only mentioned it 3 times a day for the past year and a half.

No I really don't care about your neighbour's sewage system that you have felt the need to tell me about every day this week on tea break.

Referring to Ed Sheeran as Ted Sheeran wasn't funny the first time you said it.

But hey....only 30 more years until retirement....

Not allowed headphones but it's perfectly okay for your colleagues to engage in inane chatter and distract each other from work? FFS.

Used to work in a small company. Our PR person was in the same room and would constantly talk about ****e. We were thankfully allowed headphones so most of us wore them most of them time.

Then she'd complain that we were being "antisocial"... Ehh, I come to the office to work and get paid. Not to be social all the time (that's why you have friends outside work...). The same person would also constantly answer private phone calls and talk really loudly... Then, one day she asked the boss for her own room because we were too noisy. What?

I work remotely now (again, thank Christ) and honestly apart from salary it's the one thing I WON'T compromise on with any employer. I'll visit the office one or two days a week, but f*ck sitting in the same room Monday to Friday with the same people. There's no real need for it in my industry, anyway and it's just too distracting.

Not so civil servant · 13-03-2019 12:30pm

The old guy also sings the same 1st line of a song constantly. He has never made it to the 2nd line.

Has a stack of diaries going back at least 20 years. Will flick through them and tell you the exact day he mowed the lawn 10 years ago.

Ends every phone call with "G'luck G'luck G'luck"

Every woman in every pic of the local paper each week is an ex girlfriend of his.

devlinio · 13-03-2019 12:36pm

OneArt wrote: »

Not allowed headphones but it's perfectly okay for your colleagues to engage in inane chatter and distract each other from work? FFS.

Used to work in a small company. Our PR person was in the same room and would <b>constantly talk about ****e</b>. We were thankfully allowed headphones so most of us wore them most of them time.

Then she'd complain that we were being "antisocial"... Ehh, I come to the office to work and get paid. Not to be social all the time (that's why you have friends outside work...). The same person would also constantly answer private phone calls and talk really loudly... Then, one day she asked the boss for her own room because we were too noisy. What?

I work remotely now (again, thank Christ) and honestly apart from salary it's the one thing I WON'T compromise on with any employer. I'll visit the office one or two days a week, but f*ck sitting in the same room Monday to Friday with the same people. There's no real need for it in my industry, anyway and it's just too distracting.

I presume you're in software?

I am to. In my previous company, my bosses dad was the "sales guy". Everyelse were developers & designers. He used to always complain that we were anti social because we were wearing earphone.

Now that I think of it, a colleague of mine was given a warning for not correcting an SSL certificate. He's a designer and didn't know how. He asked for help and was told to figure it out. There was a **** up on installation.

He was brought into a meeting and given a warning. In the meeting, he was told that they see him as a senior developer, and they expect better than this. The chap has 2 years experience and was on 24K a year. They also said he's not getting paid overtime anymore. So if projects take longer than expected, you have to stay behind for no more pay. He hasn't worked a second of overtime since, even if projects need to be finished.

Salvation Tambourine · 13-03-2019 12:38pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

One lad who tells long winded stories about the day's happenings as if they directly affect him, then closes the conversation with "ah but sure you know yourself, not my circus, not my monkeys" Every. Single. Time.

That is hilarious.

Schwiiing · 13-03-2019 12:39pm

'Go distract the foreman 'cuz I've seen a load of offcuts of copper cable and lead left around the site'.

somesoldiers · 13-03-2019 12:41pm

Next door to me "what date is it today?", "have the times changed in the US?", constant stream of inane questions, this guy sits at a pc all day
Either that or its looking at co-workers calendars talking about where they are travelling to, where he is travelling to, where his ffin wife is travelling too....i don't give a crap

Thankfully I am allowed earphones and work from home 2 days a week, other than that I'd go crazy

Sh*te your co-workers say

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