The Stanford case - **MOD WARNING POST 46**

Dolbert wrote: »

Here's the victim impact statement. No words.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra

What a wonderfully articulate, intelligent and incredibly brave woman. I hope she'll recover from all of this in time.

That was one of the most powerful pieces of writing I've ever read and I think it should be included on the curriculum for sex education in secondary schools/universities everywhere. Sadly we're so far off this kind of education though that it's laughable.

I need feminism because the voice of this woman and every woman who has been sexually assaulted is so rare, so silenced when it comes to this kind of crime. The rhetoric surrounding a woman's "credibility" and her "part to play" in the event is so strong, and the focus on the guy's "upstanding character" and how this one woman lied about being raped in this one isolated case ten years ago and therefore any woman who finds the strength to seek justice is guilty until proven innocent...is just exhaustive and exhausting and so remarkably insulting and has created this incredibly flawed legal system where this kind of abuse is usually NOT reported and the perpetrator virtually NEVER brought to justice.

I stood there examining my body beneath the stream of water and decided, I don’t want my body anymore.

This really stood out for me. I've fortunately never been assaulted, and wouldn't even dare to compare my own experiences with this woman's trauma. But she's articulated a feeling I've had before, and I think perhaps many women have had. Decades of unwarranted attention or feelings of extreme unsettledness or sometimes danger; will sometimes do that. When you've dared to leave the house in a short dress or dared to walk into the wrong bar and you become public property: the subject of ogling for others' amusement.

I'm 31 and I'm pretty bloody good at handling myself and asserting my own boundaries, but when you don't have that backbone of experience or confidence it can be the most intimidating thing in the world. At 19 and finding myself alone with someone who won't take no for an answer, or dealing with the prying eyes of men older than my dad in the early days of my career. Heavy stares or insidious groping on the tube. "I don't want this body anymore". It's nothing special or exceptional. It's just female. And that makes me a target sometimes. And that is not ok.

Deleted User wrote: »

The judge said it was no biggie. His Dad said it wasn't his fault. His female friend claims it's political correctness gone mad.

Christ alive. What really gets to me is another woman saying such a thing (not to mention her lack of understanding what the fairly simple concept of political correctness is, but this is an indication of how misused the term has become) - I know some might think it should not matter that she is a woman, and perhaps not, but I cannot get my head around a woman being so lacking in compassion and empathy for another woman.

And in addition to the above "It's no big deal"/"She brought it on herself"/"He couldn't help himself" (what is this - the Magdalene laundries?!) stuff, you can be sure there is someone saying in relation to this case, "Yes, but what about the cases where men are falsely accused of rape?" as if that has to be said in response to what happened to this woman. As if there is nothing inappropriate/downright obnoxious about it. As if it cannot be discussed separately.

Discussion of this dreadful case is not a downplaying of false rape allegations. It is discussion of an actual rape case.

Those discussing this case are also capable of discussing false rape allegations and do not have some sort of innate lack of sympathy for men who experience false rape allegations - but it is a separate discussion.

As for these reams upon reams of rape allegations all over the place but actual figures cannot be provided: making a false rape allegation is an horrific thing to do - I don't know anyone who would do such a life-destroying thing. What sort of person, with a father/grandfathers/brother/son/male friends, would want to do something so horrific to a man? Very few, I strongly suspect. It happens unfortunately - it does not mean actual rape deserves to be downplayed. Both are horrible - it is not a competition.

With regard to her getting drunk - it is unwise to get blind drunk. For anyone. Not just women on a night out. Anyone in any situation. Making a decision to have sex with that blind drunk ragdoll of a person is entirely the responsibility of the person who does so, and who is well able to control themselves. The question is asked of the person as to why they were out on their own late at night drunk. Does the question get asked of the person who takes advantage of them sexually in their unconscious state as to why they were also out late at night alone and feeling compelled to rape someone?

There is a fascinating discussion on this subject with Dave Fanning on RTE radio one right now, if anyone is interested.

The Black Oil wrote: »

I'm trying to dig into this now. So far, the Education Centre in Drumcondra along with SPHE teams appear to hold primary responsibility for the development of sex education materials. In a booklet for parents I found just a single reference to consent. One.

I know people from the rape crisis centre who run sex ed classes for transition years, some of the questions they get asked are remarkable, even taking into account that some kids are probably taking the piss. Is it true that after a certain point a man can't stop. How long do I have to say no. How long can I be going out with someone before we have to have sex. Is it still rape if he's my boyfriend.

This is how cases like this end up happening.

Just reading Turner's friend's statement in full, the clause at the end of the political-correctness sentence is...interesting

But where do we draw the line and stop worrying about being politically correct every second of the day and see that rape on campuses isn’t always because people are rapists

Rape happens precisely because people are rapists, and only because people are rapists. Not because of what someone was wearing, how much they had to drink, or where they were walking - because they had the misfortune to encounter a rapist. If you rape someone, you are a rapist. If you sexually assault someone, you are a sexual offender. And no matter how sorry you feel for yourself, you are not EVER the injured party in that scenario. If you're drunk and you rob someone, you're a thief. Drunk and you murder someone, you're a murderer. Why on earth would it be different for sexual crimes? Millions of people the world over manage to consume alcohol and not sexually assault anyone.