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HOW MUCH/WHAT DO I GIVE AS A WEDDING PRESENT (2017 EDITION) READ POST #1 FIRST

  • 23-01-2017 12:28am
    #1
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,905 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭


    Hi Folks,

    Here's this year's edition of the wedding gift thread - we update this every year to try and keep results as current as possible. The amounts above refer to either cash or a voucher for that amount.

    Links to the previous threads are below:

    2016 Gift Thread
    2015 Gift Thread

    Same rules apply as in previous years:
    Toots wrote: »
    So here's the deal with this thread:

    Vote on the poll and/or comment on the thread with what/how much you give on average. That's it, no opinions on what should or shouldn't be given, what is the "norm", what's stingey or what's over the top.


    Here's an example of the type of answer that's ok:

    "If going as a couple we give €100, but if it's a close family member we give €200. When we got married, the average cash gift we got was about €150."



    Here's an example of the type of answers that are not ok and will get you either infracted, or banned from the forum:



    "I always give at least €250 when I go to a wedding. If it was a sibling or close family member, I'd give €500. IMO this is the absolute least that anyone should give. People who give less than this are just scabby and shouldn't bother coming to the wedding at all if they can't afford to bring a decent present. Everyone should cover their plate and then extra so the bride and groom aren't in debt after the big day."
    or

    "I usually give an argos value range toaster or else €20 in a card. I'm not going to line their pockets just because they're throwing an overpriced party. They should just be grateful I'm there at all, I hate weddings. If they think they can cover the cost of the wedding with gifts they've got another think coming. Greedy feckers."


    We'd ask that posters give this a go and adhere to the above, this way it will be much easier for people looking for advice to work out what the average gift is, and then use that as a jumping off point to decide what they want to give. It can be very hard for a poster to get a straight answer when they've got to wade through 5 pages of arguing to try and find figures.

    If anyone has any questions, just drop myself or Faith a PM

    Thanks guys!

    What's the average wedding gift that you give? (Please select all that apply to you) 515 votes

    Friend/extended family - €50
    7% 38 votes
    Friend/extended family - €100
    3% 20 votes
    Friend/extended family - €150 to €200
    8% 46 votes
    Friend/extended family - more than €200
    12% 63 votes
    Friend/extended family - other gift ie: glasses, photo frame, etc
    1% 8 votes
    Friend/extended family - other gift + cash
    1% 9 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - €50
    1% 10 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - €100
    0% 2 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - €150 to €200
    4% 22 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - more than €200
    10% 55 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - other gift ie: glasses, photo frame, etc
    7% 41 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - other gift + cash
    0% 3 votes
    Afters only - gave card only
    1% 9 votes
    Afters only - cash or other gift up to €50
    3% 19 votes
    Afters only - cash or other gift up to €100
    7% 40 votes
    Wedding abroad - did not give gift
    2% 11 votes
    Wedding abroad - €50 to €100
    1% 6 votes
    Wedding abroad - €150 to €200
    3% 20 votes
    Wedding abroad - more than €200
    3% 19 votes
    Wedding abroad - other gift ie: glasses, photo frame, etc
    0% 5 votes
    Did not attend - gave cash
    1% 7 votes
    Did not attend - gave other gift ie: glasses, photo frame, etc
    2% 13 votes
    Did not attend - gave card only
    2% 15 votes
    I paid for part of the wedding ie: car, DJ, flowers, cake, etc
    5% 26 votes
    I helped out with the wedding ie: made the cake, did the flowers, loaned my car, etc
    1% 8 votes


Comments

  • #2
    EmJay13
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭EmJay13


    Attending the whole day friend or extended family €200, immediate family €300


  • #3
    messrs
    Registered Users Posts: 1,853 ✭✭✭messrs


    Am going to the wedding of a ex colleague who i would keep in touch with fairly often by phone but maybe only once per year in person. My partner of 15 years has not been invited so Im going on my own. What would be suggested gift in this instant?


  • #4
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    messrs wrote: »
    Am going to the wedding of a ex colleague who i would keep in touch with fairly often by phone but maybe only once per year in person. My partner of 15 years has not been invited so Im going on my own. What would be suggested gift in this instant?

    Whole thing or afters?


  • #5
    lenan
    Registered Users Posts: 63 ✭✭lenan


    messrs wrote: »
    Am going to the wedding of a ex colleague who i would keep in touch with fairly often by phone but maybe only once per year in person. My partner of 15 years has not been invited so Im going on my own. What would be suggested gift in this instant?


    Your partner of 15 years wasn't asked, why would go?


  • #6
    messrs
    Registered Users Posts: 1,853 ✭✭✭messrs


    pilly wrote: »
    Whole thing or afters?

    Ive been asked to the whole wedding
    lenan wrote: »
    Your partner of 15 years wasn't asked, why would go?

    Do you mean why would I go without my partner?


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  • #7
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    messrs wrote: »
    Ive been asked to the whole wedding



    Do you mean why would I go without my partner?

    Well as a singleton when I'm invited to a wedding I normally go alone and give €100. If you're invited as a singleton that's what I would do.

    I get the other posters point though, bit rude not to invite your partner but they could have a set number that they can invite.


  • #8
    messrs
    Registered Users Posts: 1,853 ✭✭✭messrs


    pilly wrote: »
    Well as a singleton when I'm invited to a wedding I normally go alone and give €100. If you're invited as a singleton that's what I would do.

    I get the other posters point though, bit rude not to invite your partner but they could have a set number that they can invite.

    Thanks, think i will go with the €100.

    She is trying to keep numbers low, plus in all the years i know her id say she has met my partner about 2 or 3 times at the most so I can understand why she didnt invite him


  • #9
    hillbloom
    Registered Users Posts: 852 ✭✭✭hillbloom


    MY husband & I were invited to a wedding but couldn't attend, what sort of present would I need to give. Buy something or give cash. It never happened before that I was invited & didn't attend. If cash, how much!!!


  • #10
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,654 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    I'm curious on people's opinions of something:

    Say you live abroad, and you're invited to a wedding in your home country. You attend, but the costs of attending include flights, a rental car and at least two nights accommodation and possibly some time off work. Would that impact the value of the gift that you give?


  • #11
    hillbloom
    Registered Users Posts: 852 ✭✭✭hillbloom


    My opinion is definitely No. The bride & groom wont look at your expenses.
    They will be paying for your meal! One person attending a wedding here usually gives 100e & a couple give 150 or 200.


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  • #12
    infor123
    Registered Users Posts: 125 ✭✭infor123


    Faith wrote: »
    I'm curious on people's opinions of something:

    Say you live abroad, and you're invited to a wedding in your home country. You attend, but the costs of attending include flights, a rental car and at least two nights accommodation and possibly some time off work. Would that impact the value of the gift that you give?

    I think absolutely. A friend got married last year and a number of people travelled from abroad for the event. She absolutely knew she wasn’t getting big money gifts from them. She said yea I won’t have the price of the meal but I want these people at my wedding - close family/friends. I think I myself will also have the same opinion next year when my day comes around. If someone is travelling it’s xommon sense that they have extra costs associated.


  • #13
    mcgiggles
    Registered Users Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭mcgiggles


    Faith wrote:
    Say you live abroad, and you're invited to a wedding in your home country. You attend, but the costs of attending include flights, a rental car and at least two nights accommodation and possibly some time off work. Would that impact the value of the gift that you give?

    Definitely! I have friends coming from overseas for my wedding this year and I don't expect anything from them! A card with some well wishes would be more than appreciated! They have to spend money on flights + accommodation not to mind everything else going to a wedding entails! That is not cheap. They aren't coming to "pay their way" they are coming to celebrate us getting hitched :-)


  • #14
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    I'm mystified as to how the wedding gift has turned into paying for your own meal. When did this happen?


  • #15
    Patsy167
    Registered Users Posts: 1,788 ✭✭✭Patsy167


    Hi Everyone,

    What is the typical amount people would suggest giving as a gift from brother to sister as a wedding present?

    For context - Both late twenties and both on decent salaries.


  • #16
    Alkers
    Registered Users Posts: 6,805 ✭✭✭Alkers


    Patsy167 wrote: »
    Hi Everyone,

    What is the typical amount people would suggest giving as a gift from brother to sister as a wedding present?

    For context - Both late twenties and both on decent salaries.

    If cash, >€200 but try to think of something other than cash if you can.


  • #17
    Patsy167
    Registered Users Posts: 1,788 ✭✭✭Patsy167


    Thanks for this - Any ideas on what would be a good gift for a sister that is 30? She has pretty much everything materials she needs so I'm trying to think of something thoughtful that would be different. I'm leaning toward some type of experience gift (Classes, Break away etc.?)?


  • #18
    tuisginideach
    Registered Users Posts: 2,050 ✭✭✭tuisginideach


    Gave my 30 yr old niece a day course at a cookery school -she was very happy with it.


  • #19
    pawdee
    Registered Users Posts: 548 ✭✭✭pawdee


    I'd say give whatever you can afford and feel comfortable with. I heard a fella say once that getting a wedding invitation was like getting a summons. Imagine being that perished?

    I love being invited to weddings. A friend of mine calls people invited to the afters "plate lickers". He said to me to me once "If I'm not invited for the shpuds I'll hardly go for the shkins".


  • #20
    Klonker
    Registered Users Posts: 1,667 ✭✭✭Klonker


    Patsy167 wrote: »
    Hi Everyone,

    What is the typical amount people would suggest giving as a gift from brother to sister as a wedding present?

    For context - Both late twenties and both on decent salaries.

    Not trying to be nosy but are you staying in a hotel that night and is your sister and her partner paying for this?

    I know everyone won't agree with me but I think you should roughly try to cover your costs at the least. Say dinner for you and partner I'd pay 100 a head, if I was getting a room paid for I'd add say 150, if I was groomsman I'd add another 150-200 for suit hire, shoes, shirt etc. The fact it's your sister I'd add another bit on top too, maybe another 200, as you mentioned you are a decent wage. I don't think it would be fair for your partner to be paying half of this, you should be paying the vast majority as ye are invited because of you.

    That's just my opinion and of course only for people who can afford it, can't be expecting people to put themselves in debt.


  • #21
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    ^ Jesus, so you're suggesting a gift of ~750euro? :eek: That seems a bit much to me!

    I would've thought whatever you normally give, add an extra 100-200euro on top of it for a sibling. So if you normally give 200euro as a couple for example, bring that up to 400euro if you can afford it.

    If the couple decided to pay for accommodation, that's a gift, not something that needs to be paid back. They might have decided to stay somewhere cheaper if they were booking it themselves.

    Similarly, if the couple are paying for suit hire or dress purchase etc, that's not something that needs to be "paid back" through the gift. It's up to the couple if they want the bridal party to dress a certain way.


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  • #22
    tiredblondie
    Registered Users Posts: 706 ✭✭✭tiredblondie


    For our wedding, both our sisters were bridesmaids - obviously dressed them both, hair, makeup, hotel room etc....

    One gave 150euro as a gift to us and the other gave 500euro as a gift to us - the one who gave the most would earn the least so we were very much taken aback by it!

    But my no means was i ungrateful for the 150euro gift!


  • #23
    whiz
    Registered Users Posts: 423 ✭✭whiz


    Hi Guy,

    How much cash do people give a brother or sister as a wedding present?

    Note I am a single person and I appreciate any replies.



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