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Advice on how to talk to GP about Depression

  • 13-07-2009 9:51am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I think I may be suffering with mild depression, I hate going out, I don't feel as smart/funny/clever/beautiful/thin/clean/popular/interesting as people around me, I've started crying myself to sleep and waking up in tears, I don't want to go to work, go meet friends even get out of bed. I haven't let this effect my life yet and am still doing everything as I always did, but it's getting harder. My new fav saying seems to be "I'm so sick of....." or "I just can't put up with this anymore" about very very simple everyday issues. Everything is getting in on top of me and it's ridiculous. I know I have a good life and am lucky. I feel guilty for feeling like this. There is no reason for it.

    I am considering going to my doctor, but for the past year, at my GPs office there has been stand in after stand in, I have not seen the same doc twice. I don't know how to bring it up and am worried he or she will think I'm just an attention seeker or drama queen. Any suggestions on how to broach the subject with a doctor? When I don't know the doctor at all.


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭SmokeyJo84


    if you feel you can't talk to your doctor, why not bring in a copy of what you have written here and just show it to him/her?

    Everything you have described fits into the common symptoms of depression and any doctor worth his salt should never make a patient feel like they are being riduculous.
    No matter how big or small an issue may seem, if it is affecting your lifestyle or behaviour then it is an important issue. Depression is an illness that needs to be attended to just like any other illness or injury.

    It's not always big traumatic events which cause depression, it occurs for a multitude of reasons. The guilt you feel for it is probably making it worse. Don't ever feel silly for needing help or trying to seek it.

    It might actually be easier to talk to a doctor that you don't know as well. I know I find it harder to speak to my family doctor whom I've been seeing for about 20yrs.
    Also, book an appointment or even a double appointment with the doctor instead of going to walk in clinic...it will give you more time to discuss what's going on and you won't feel rushed, or that he/she isn't listen to you properly.
    i hope this was of help! good luck & take care


  • Registered Users Posts: 48 peveril13


    I was in your situation about 2 years ago.
    I found it easier to talk to a new doc in the clinic who I didnt know, but thats just me.
    I just asked for help with dealing with things. dont be afriad. you will feel great once youve taken that first step, but it is a journey.

    good luck with it!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,324 ✭✭✭Oh The Humanity


    The things playing over in your head are negative thoughts. They can become so loud and overpowering that you can't hear anything else.

    It seems your low mood has started to interfere with your daily life, so tell him you are finding low mood and negative thoughts constantly interfering with your ability to cope.

    Thats what your inner voices are trying to tell you. That you are having trouble coping at the moment. So tell him that.

    The critical inner voice telling you you are less than other people is also part of what could be depression. Feelings of worthlessness.

    Waking up crying and falling asleep crying are feelings of hopelessness.

    The guilt is also a factor. Go along to the doc and explain these things in your own words. I hope you get sorted.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 55 ✭✭miders


    aware. they are a very good organisation to help in these situations.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks a lot for the replies. I'm feeling a bit more positive today, I actually got a decent sleep last night. I'm not sure if I should go to the doc now. It seems silly, I feel ok now, but I know it will take something very small to set me off in tears/anger/anxiety again. I don't want to go to the doc in a decent mood. He will think I'm lying. Or if I'm not crying/down ALL the time, then I shouldn't be there??

    If I do go, how is best to bring it up. I don't want to say "I think I'm depressed". It's so attention seeking. But I don't want to play things down either, he'll think I'm a sap for wasting his time with nothing wrong with me. Maybe there is nothing wrong and it's normal to feel like I do. Maybe everyone does but just copes with it better.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    me too? wrote: »
    Thanks a lot for the replies. I'm feeling a bit more positive today, I actually got a decent sleep last night. I'm not sure if I should go to the doc now. It seems silly, I feel ok now, but I know it will take something very small to set me off in tears/anger/anxiety again. I don't want to go to the doc in a decent mood. He will think I'm lying. Or if I'm not crying/down ALL the time, then I shouldn't be there??

    If I do go, how is best to bring it up. I don't want to say "I think I'm depressed". It's so attention seeking. But I don't want to play things down either, he'll think I'm a sap for wasting his time with nothing wrong with me. Maybe there is nothing wrong and it's normal to feel like I do. Maybe everyone does but just copes with it better.

    Go and talk to your doctor, the fact that you are in a good mood now is irrelevant, as you have alluded to that could change quickly

    your best bet is just to be honest, explain exactly how you have felt lately in much the same way as you have above

    doctors are well used to dealing with people and in general aren't judgemental

    they are there to help you, you just have to let them


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP, from previous experience, anxiety and sadness can be the start of mild depression. I went to my gp, told her how I was feeling, and to be honest, I didn't get through the first sentence without starting to cry so I didn't have to say much. She knew of my own circumstances though because I'd been having anxiety attacks after a particularly stressful time at work and home, followed by a death in my family. She was a legend, suggested I needed a leg up and put me on an anti-depressant/anxiety pill, and stressed that I should go to counselling too. All of this has helped me enormously, especially the counselling. The meds simply stopped me from crying for long enough to actually concentrate on the counselling. I am a new person. Any GP has heard it all before. Just tell him/her that you feel sad a lot of the time,that it is affecting your life, ask about counselling and if he/she would suggest medication. Some of them are a little too fast to hand out meds though, so trust your gut. Not sure where you are based, but there are great gps out there-ask your friends where they go. Say you need a test of anaemia or something like that.

    Good luck. There is a lot of light at the end of the tunnel.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi Op
    I was in a similar position to yourself about two months ago. I was falling to pieces. I find it hard now to put myself back in the position I was in, I just can't fathom how I was so depressed...
    But I was, and it was horrible.
    After a lot (and I mean a LOT) of denial I decided to go to the doctor. When I told my mother she seemed to think it was a bit excessive, while she knew I was a bit down, she never knew the pits of despair I was experiencing.
    The long and the short of it was that I went to my GP and had a chat about how I was feeling,
    He strongly recomended a course of anti-d's which I was very very reluctant to follow.
    The last thing I ever wanted was to be some pill popping zombie who reached for the 'meds' when ever some little calamity struck.
    He told me that HE was the doctor and if I was coughing up green bile I would take whatever he prescribed me, that mental illness is as common as any other type of 'normal' illness. And just like a normal illness a mental illness can go away if treated on time and appropriatly.
    Someone who suffers a torn ligament, a fracture or tears a muscle in their leg will spend their whole lives limping if they are foolhardy enough to ignore it, thing is, they wouldnt.
    So why should you?

    By the way, I've followed my doctors instructions and am now on a course of anti-d's for the past 6 weeks. The difference is profound, It's called normality. I'm not imbued with boundless optimisim, when something happens to annoy me, I'm annoyed, when something pleases me I'm happy. This might not sound like much, but being able to enjoy normal life in a normal way is a huge step from the prevoius six month's. But in another month or two I'll probably be off the anti-d's and be back to taking my mental health for granted again.....

    Whehey!! :-)


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Pimpey wrote: »

    doctors are well used to dealing with people and in general aren't judgemental

    they are there to help you, you just have to let them

    BTW you can take this as gospel, I work in the motor trade and my GP let me know that I was by no means the first of my kind to visit him.
    These guys have seen it all, a bit like showing them your privates, weird for you, nothing new to them!


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Congrats..you've already taken the first step and admitted to yourself that you need a little help.

    I commend your courage...be sure to keep us updated on your progress.. you never know your story might encourage many people who view this thread to seek help from their local GP.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP,

    Aww you sound like you are going through a tough time, pressure has built up in your life and you are exhausted, if your leg was broken you would go to the doc, your brain is overworked and run down and you need to see a doc in the same way.


    Reading your post sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself and expect yourself to be perfect, your negative way you are speaking to yourself needs to be stopped, if you are someone who sees depression as a negative thing or a weakness then you will find it harder to accept and ask for help, being in control all the time does not necessarily mean you are strong, in fact this can repress emotions and then they blow when you do not listen.

    Let go a bit ...and help your body and mind heal and give it the attention it deserves.


    You may need to address your life and how you are living with this pressure, is there anyway you can slow down and have some time to get better.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm in a similar circumstance as the OP, and now I think I just have to do something, I have days when there's just a black cloud around me and I can't see any light, I'm stressed to breaking point (with good reason I have a list) and to be honest I can't see anything changing. It's not a new phenomenon for me I've always felt a bit like this growing up but now I'm old enough to stop saying it will get better and can't really see past a couple of months never mind years.

    I told someone how I was feeling a couple of weeks ago, and now wish I hadn't even though I know they care for me very much I don't want them to think I'm a basket case, suffering from a mental illness etc... Because on the outside I come across as confident but to be honest this whole social interaction and paranoia with people is really getting to me.

    I'm trying to take the first step, but I'm thinking about life insurance with a mental illness, is it all in my head, maybe it's not depression, am I attention seeking? will the doctor just tell me to cop on. I'm at a stage now that I'm sure I could put a great argument will anyone with the pro's of doing something drastic.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi guys,

    I went through a pretty traumatic ordeal there a while back and wasn't coping well. It depleted my appetite severely (no prob going 40+ hrs without food). When I asked a
    doc about this, he copped straight away that I was having a rough time. I told him what
    was on my mind and he recommended anti-d's. I thought it was a bit severe but i'm now
    on them 5 weeks. I feel much better and, like the poster above, expect to be off them in
    about 2 months. It will take that time to put other things in my life right. The meds just
    allow me do this rather than going around feeling sorry for myself etc. No doc is going to
    tell you to cop on or think you're attention seeking for addressing your problems. good luck.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭RossFixxxed


    Get to the GP but be frank and open about it.

    I went to a certain GP yesterady who told me I have a broken toe in my foot. OK fine. I went on to say how I'm not sleeping, irrationally stressed, not coping with the day to day and he told me:

    GO OUT FOR A WALK..... On my ****ing broken toe like?? Jesus. There are some total cowboys out there so do not be discouraged if you meet an idiot like this. Make sure you have someone who will listen, take notes, and build a picture of what's wrong.

    My mistake was paying the prick.

    R


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I was following this thread as I am very much in a similar situation as the OP and like her, I havent felt able to speak to anyone about it, even my GP. I just wanted to say that, due to realising that I am not the only person out there feeling like this for no apparent reason, I have decided to sort myself out.

    Reading everyone's advice and their own experiences made me realise that depression is an illness like any other and that I would go to the Doctor for everything else, yet I have been resisting talking to my GP for fear of not being taken seriously or for feeling like a 'headcase'.

    If any of my friends approached me and told me they were having the same feelings/symptoms that I have, I wouldn't hesitate to tell them to see their doctor and I certainly wouldn't judge them over it. It's funny how people can often treat their friends and family much better than they treat themselves.

    Anyways, I have booked an appointment with my GP and also booked an appointment with a counsellor in the Well Womans Centre and am going to take it from there. Just making the appointments helped me feel more at ease, as I now know I am doing something about how I feel.

    I hope the OP went and spoke to her doctor to get the help she deserves. it's great to have a place like this where people can share their experiences and advice which have been so helpful to myself and I hope to others as well


  • Registered Users Posts: 36 Meredith


    So sorry to read of your situation and how you're feeling, I'm relieved to see someone feels the same way I do. I haven't had any major traumatic events in my life and like you, I know my life is good and I'm lucky for what I have. I have a lovely boyfriend, I don't have a huge circle of friends but the friends I do have are gems and I'm close to my family. Work has been very stressful the last few months but thankfully I've changed roles so that's a plus, but there is a history of depression (ranging from mild to serious) in my family. I've been feeling a bit low on and off over the last year or so but the last few months it's gotten worse. I cry alone at home a lot or I find myself on the verge of tears when driving sometimes and it's usually me overreacting to really silly trivial stuff. I used to be a calm, patient person and while I still am to a point I'm finding I'm getting uptight over stuff that really doesn't matter and feel negative a lot of the time.

    Just like Me Too?'s reply on 14/07/09, there are days I feel so much better and tell myself how stupid I've been for feeling the way I did but then the low feeling usually returns. I'm also considering talking to my doctor but just like you I'm worried about not being taken seriously as I don't feel my reasons are justified like others who've had genuinely tough times in their lives and I'm just nervous about doing it and afraid I won't explain myself properly. Please let us know how you get on if you talk to your GP. I will do the same as I really hate feeling like this and fed up with giving myself a hard time. Best of luck


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 107 ✭✭clairemcbear


    Is sounds more than 'mild',and it doesn't sound like your feeling sorry for yourself ok? don't be embarassed,you need help,probably medication but you need to go to the gp and tell him you think you're depressed,he'll probably ask you some questions but you've got most,if not all of the symptoms so tell him those. You could google it to learn about it too,help you understand. Also,this guilt your feeling is also a symptom,not as common as most symptoms though. The Gp will help you through this and out the other end,good luck :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    +1

    Sometimes I wish something bad did happen in my life so I had something to blame for feeling the same way as you!

    I'm finding though that as I get older I expect less from life and the more experience I have with the less off in this world and the more vulnerable in this world, the more humble I have become to the world and the more I want to try to give back to the world. Like my role has changed from being the one who enjoys life to the max to being the one who is content with what I have and give back to help other people in life. Maybe it's just part of growing up. But I am much much more content now. Less highs and lows and just a nicer all round feeling of content and appreciation for being alive.

    Maybe take a step back and live a more simple life and don't be afraid to say no to meeting your friends and going to town etc if you don't feel like it. Perhaps you're just growing up and get pleasure out of different things now.

    Either way you've taken a huge step writting here and just be aware that it may take a few visits to the doctor to explain yourself. It did for me! I expected him to know what I was thinking and expecting him to understand all of my thoughts by just mentioning that I was feling a bit low! I agree with first poster, great idea to print off what you have written.

    Good luck and you are not alone and life is whatever you choose to make of it and nobody elses choice :)


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