Worried about 2021?

olliegrad15 · 25-08-2020 4:14pm #1

Hi guys,

We got engaged earlier this year and were planning a 2021 wedding (this was before Covid happened). We booked a hotel earlier this year for April 2021 but are now worried the current restrictions will be in place by then.

Our original number was about 180 people, and the current restrictions of 50 people would be a big let down for us. Obviously, nobody has a crystal ball and I don't mean to be dramatic with all that has gone on this year, but just wondering is anyone else getting married in April next year and are you concerned about the restrictions? Would anyone advise moving to 2022? (we wanted to really avoid this, from a supplier perspective but also because we don’t want too long of an engagement). Our hotel have advised to be very conservative with expectations.

Has anyone explored an outdoor wedding for a large no. of people (i.e. more than 150), as I believe the restrictions for outdoor weddings are as high as 200?

woodchuck · 25-08-2020 5:14pm

We've postponed from Sept 2020 to May 2021. Tbh I don't see the situation being much/any better by then, but we had a lot of reasons to postpone our wedding that I won't go into.

As you said, nobody has a crystal ball (if only!). At the start everybody thought this thing would only last for a few weeks/months and now it's dragging on indefinitely. It doesn't seem to come in waves like the flu, it's a constant presence that needs constant vigilance to keep it somewhat repressed. We can hope for a vaccine, but it's very difficult to know if/when an effective one will become available and if it'll even be long lasting.

My fiance and I have said to each other though that no matter what happens, we're getting married next year! We've already postponed once though and don't have the time/patience to keep postponing. Tbh, if I had gotten engaged more recently and was a bit younger, I'd be looking at 2022 instead of 2021. That's just my opinion though.

As for outdoor weddings, atm isn't the number still 50 regardless of indoor vs outdoor? I could be mistaken on that though. You also wouldn't want to rely on Irish weather for an outdoor wedding. And just to be aware, marquees are considered indoor. I'd be very mindful of the fact that the government keeps changing the guidance/restrictions though. Who knows what the restrictions will actually be like next year. They could be better, or they could be worse. It makes planning anything very difficult.

nikpmup · 25-08-2020 9:17pm

We postponed from April '21 to August '21. We may well have to push it back again, but if we do, we do. We're doing the legal bit next month, registry office and 12 people, or whatever numbers are allowed on the day.

Teach30 · 25-08-2020 9:36pm

We postponed to next summer and I can’t see large numbers happening then either.
We are looking at spreading it over two days in hotel to ensure we have as good a party as we can. Considered doing the church part this year but said it would take from actual day whenever it happens.

Marquee still a possibility for us, unsure how insurance with it works but may investigate it further. I have heard that a marquee with sides up allows for larger outdoor gathering. Not sure if true.

UnBridled · 26-08-2020 12:59pm

We are getting married in October 2021 and are working off the assumption that all will be grand. We have a guest list of approx 80. Id be happy with smaller so the number restriction doesn't bother me, it's early bar closing and socially distant dancing that would get to us.

There's is a Marquee company I came across in my research. Some exclusive use venues hire them. They look very nice. I don't know if I can name them here OP but I can certainly pm you the name.

Michellenman · 26-08-2020 2:19pm

I’m worried but trying to be accepting of it.

We are April and assuming there will 100% still be social distancing and small group numbers allowed.

If it is a requirement to have small groups have your venues confirmed that minimum numbers won’t apply? We have a list of 150 (although about 25 are abroad and probably wouldn’t travel if there’s a pandemic and quarantine etc). Our contract says that we pay for 120 people anyway which is fine. But if guidelines say we can only have 50 then I would hope we don’t have to pay for 120!

woodchuck · 26-08-2020 2:34pm

Michellenman wrote: »

If it is a requirement to have small groups have your venues confirmed that minimum numbers won’t apply? We have a list of 150 (although about 25 are abroad and probably wouldn’t travel if there’s a pandemic and quarantine etc). Our contract says that we pay for 120 people anyway which is fine. But if guidelines say we can only have 50 then I would hope we don’t have to pay for 120!

I'd check your contract and get in touch with your venue. You'd imagine most places would be reasonable and not hold you to minimum numbers if the government stipulates you can have less than that. However I have heard of some venues acting unreasonably, so there's never any harm checking directly with your venue to put your mind at ease (hopefully!).

mohawk · 26-08-2020 4:12pm

We aren’t really sure what to do. We booked for April 2021 back in August 2019.

Our numbers are on the high side and honestly if it’s still capped at 50 in April then that isn’t the day we want. We want music and dancing and fun with the people we care about. Because both our families are so big we wouldn’t have any friends at all if it’s 50 and would be leaving out some family too. I think if we can’t have at least 100 then we will just do legal side on the day and move the rest until 2022. If I was younger I think I would move it to 2022 anyway to save myself the hassle of worrying.

Our hotel hasn’t been doing weddings yet since restrictions lifted.

Goose76 · 27-08-2020 12:37pm

We have shelved the idea of the original plan which was 70 ish people in a nice castle-style venue for 2021.

Going instead with registry office and restaurant sometime in early-mid 2021 with immediate family, best man and bridesmaids only. Big party in a pub with a DJ to follow in future years if/when there is a vaccine or the virus dissipates.

Everyone is different but for us we couldn't cope either emotionally or financially with the hassle of re-arranging/postponing/losing deposits/having constant correspondence with suppliers and the venue and battling with constantly changing guidance from the government.

We also would have had three close friends travelling from different continents and realistically, not all of them - if any- would have been able to attend or plan that far ahead under these current circumstances.

It sucks but it is what it is, as they say

I think it's vital to assess your own circumstances, the circumstances of your guests and make a decision based on that - and that alone.

If our parents were all ten years younger, we would probably say f it and wait until 2022/2023 for the larger wedding, but with the age and health of our parents we don't want to take that risk. Equally, we personally both lead stressful enough lives as it is at the moment and so, as I say above, personally we couldn't cope with the extra stress of cancelled wedding plans and uncertain finances on top of our other circumstances right now. But that was the decision WE came to, and it's not for everyone.

Net point - make your own decision as only you and your partner will truly know what to do.

Neyite · 27-08-2020 1:46pm

We postponed from July 2020 to next July. If restrictions are still in place that mean people can't travel then we'll just go ahead with getting married without guests/reception rather than postpone a second time. Maybe hold a party then on our anniversary or something.

douglashyde · 27-08-2020 2:58pm

We are due to get married on Oct 24th with the new guidelines in place, we may have to cancel and opt for a smaller <10 as the new guidelines are too restrictive for it to make sense doing.

Failte Ireland & govt guidelines have made their bed and the three key guidelines just published this week (below) are here to stay I would guess until June / July '21, we personally are in the middle of planning right now and it's very clear all hotels/guest houses are adhering to them:

- Parties of 50 including staff / band (so think 40 guests inc. you)
- Parties finishing at 11.30 on the dot.
- Face masks to be worn when not at dinner table.
- 1M distance which means 4 to a table (if a traditional 8 person table).

cazzer22 · 29-08-2020 6:25pm

Hi all. We are 2021 as well and have been engaged since late 2018. We booked at Easter 2019. Our venue are being so lovely and accommodating and we are going to go ahead no matter what (numbers wise). We are so lucky as well that my dad is actually doing the ceremony, so he is happy to go ahead too.
It isn't what any of us would have hoped for in terms of atmosphere/party etc, but hopefully down the line we can have a proper celebration with all the family and friends. I really feel for everyone in 2020 that have had their plans essentially ruined. Has anyone got any ideas about band etc? Are most people scrapping their band?

olliegrad15 · 30-08-2020 2:56pm

Great to hear so many people are continuing on their plans to get married, irrespective of the numbers and restrictions changing their original intentions. With smaller numbers, we are thinking it could be a totally different type of wedding, more intimate and centered on a celebration of us as a couple getting married. Also, we are looking into the idea of splitting the wedding into two, over a two day celebration. I think we just became stressed looking at the Bord Fáilte guidelines, with the bar closing at 11pm etc.

I think an outdoor event can be 200, even if it is a marquee, as long as it is not enclosed i.e. it is a structure just with a roof. I think most of the current restrictions will be in place by the middle of next year. Not sure how the hotels can survive at that rate though (the real worry could be hotels will start closing).

[Deleted User] · 30-08-2020 10:03pm

Hello! Spring 2021 bride, and we plan on going ahead. We've heard great feedback from our venue and suppliers about how they've adapted to the new measures, and we feel very comfortable going ahead, even if the 50 max and curfew is still in place.
I'm in the vulnerable category so we're talking to our venue about how we can manage this, and they've been great so far.
We are engaged since 2018, and we'd be quite happy to even just have two witnesses, and have a party another time, if worst comes to the worst. But we're keeping our fingers firmly crossed that things will be better soon

Pink11 · 07-09-2020 7:23pm

mohawk wrote: »

We aren’t really sure what to do. We booked for April 2021 back in August 2019.

Our numbers are on the high side and honestly if it’s still capped at 50 in April then that isn’t the day we want. We want music and dancing and fun with the people we care about. Because both our families are so big we wouldn’t have any friends at all if it’s 50 and would be leaving out some family too. I think if we can’t have at least 100 then we will just do legal side on the day and move the rest until 2022. If I was younger I think I would move it to 2022 anyway to save myself the hassle of worrying.

Our hotel hasn’t been doing weddings yet since restrictions lifted.

In a similar situation. Booked for summer 2021 - venue picked due to capacity and wanting a large party. Having everyone there as we're both from big families and very close to our near and dear, is the main thing we want from the day - not the expensive fuss and frills. We just want a big, fun party with our loved ones.

I'm a positive person usually but it's only in the last month, it's started to sink in that things may not be 100% back to normal by next summer but I am confident even if we have no vaccine and covid is still here, we'll have progressed greatly by then in terms of how we deal with it. I think we'll at the very least be allowed more than 50 people. Will buy testing kits for each guest if that is still the case to be taken the night before/morning of. I really do think we all have to stay positive, progress IS made daily and we'll find ways around everything to get life back to normality.

However, perhaps venues would allow us to put an open outside marquee on the grounds in order for us to have more guests?

In terms of pushing it out further if we were young, I absolutely would but time isn't on our side and fingers crossed having a family will work out for us so we both agree postponing it out further isn't really an option.

No crystal ball here either but it's so important that everyone keeps positive. Don't get bogged down in the negativity and what people say to you. None of us are medical or virus experts and no one knows for real. Their 'predictions' are not worth your stress. The 'experts' on social media are laughable.

For what it's worth, my friends got married 2 weeks ago at their reduced sized wedding and they had a ball despite cutting 75% of the list (us included). Thrilled they still had a magical day.

clo1 · 01-02-2021 9:51am

Hi guys
Mi just got engaged in December and myself and partner had always planned a wedding in Spain for next summer 2022 but of course Covid has made me very anxious about everything.

I have a venue etc that I like and a fabulous wedding planner but reluctant to put down a deposit for.l date in July 2022 given the current covid situation.

Would love advice!? Myself and my partner probably would wait and have our big day we whatever but my parents are old and are keen to have it next summer and ideally I don’t want to wait another two and a half years to get married but I haven’t had a chance to view my venue yet hoping to be able to do so in summer but again travel restrictions are very changing so my big q is am I mad to be planning for a Spanish wedding next year or should I wait until 2023 u til everything blows over or is too early to call yet!? Dates are becoming unavailable quickly so need to act fast

Please help

[Deleted User] · 07-02-2021 7:23pm

How are Autumn 2021 couples feeling recently?

confusticated · 07-02-2021 7:28pm

clo1 wrote: »

Hi guys
Mi just got engaged in December and myself and partner had always planned a wedding in Spain for next summer 2022 but of course Covid has made me very anxious about everything.

I have a venue etc that I like and a fabulous wedding planner but reluctant to put down a deposit for.l date in July 2022 given the current covid situation.

Would love advice!? Myself and my partner probably would wait and have our big day we whatever but my parents are old and are keen to have it next summer and ideally I don’t want to wait another two and a half years to get married but I haven’t had a chance to view my venue yet hoping to be able to do so in summer but again travel restrictions are very changing so my big q is am I mad to be planning for a Spanish wedding next year or should I wait until 2023 u til everything blows over or is too early to call yet!? Dates are becoming unavailable quickly so need to act fast

Please help

I don't think anyone can call what it will be like but my view would be to only go ahead if you're a) able to manage with losing any deposit you put down if it comes to it and b) happy to still go ahead with it without having been out to view the place beforehand. I don't think travel this summer will be that likely. If you can live with those two conditions, go for it? Also, I reckon travel will probably be OK by then, but bear in mind some guests might not be comfortable travelling for a long time, it's hard to know how we're all going to react to going back to "normal".

sambowden · 04-03-2021 5:56pm

and in the morning Diamonds of Frost wrote: »

How are Autumn 2021 couples feeling recently?

Feeling like its 50/50 at best that we will be able to have more than 50 and band playing.

We are middle of September.
In one way I'm optimistic in that I think by June/July COVID numbers are going to low to non-existent and 70%+ of people will be vaccinated so really there should be no obstacle to increasing numbers, even to 100.

However, governments tone is super cautious, downplaying prospects - so I don't know what to think really. Think we will need to wait until May/June to get a clearer idea really.

We are going ahead regardless I think but we would be pretty upset to only have 25/50 people at it and especially if we cant have band playing/late bar.

[Deleted User] · 04-03-2021 6:24pm

sambowden wrote: »

Feeling like its 50/50 at best that we will be able to have more than 50 and band playing.

We are middle of September.
In one way I'm optimistic in that I think by June/July COVID numbers are going to low to non-existent and 70%+ of people will be vaccinated so really there should be no obstacle to increasing numbers, even to 100.

However, governments tone is super cautious, downplaying prospects - so I don't know what to think really. Think we will need to wait until May/June to get a clearer idea really.

We are going ahead regardless I think but we would be pretty upset to only have 25/50 people at it and especially if we cant have band playing/late bar.

I felt similar to yourself. A month ago I was seriously considering having a chat about postponing because going ahead with 6 people, even 25, just wasn't what we wanted and we still don't. I am more hopeful now though. In September and October I think we will be at 50 for indoor events and a band will be possible.
It's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster though. Next week I could feel completely different.

I was chatting with someone who's son got married in December. They couldn't have live music but they connected Spotify up to a speaker and that worked out really well for them. Due to small numbers they had more money for extra things as well. It's definitely possible to have a fantastic day and night with restrictions.

Personally though I don't fancy having to call a halt to things at 11pm.

Alkers · 05-03-2021 12:18am

We are late August ourselves. We'd be happy to go ahead with 50 if it was this time last year but we'd hate to do so and miss the lifting of restrictions by a couple of months - that's the worst fear

sambowden · 05-03-2021 12:43am

ya, I know what you mean - its very possible that restrictions will be there in September but totally lifted by December! We'll see - for now we are just going to wait it out until June to see how the winds blowing then. Dont want to rush into a decision now and regret it. I think public pressure will be immense by June for Government to start giving definitive dates for re-starting things - especially if the UK/NI is all but back to normal by then...

Heart Break Kid · 05-03-2021 11:23am

June 2021, its its 6 or 150, still going to have the day. DJ emailed asking if we were still going ahead.

Its happening one way or another.

woodchuck · 05-03-2021 6:44pm

Alkers wrote: »

We are late August ourselves. We'd be happy to go ahead with 50 if it was this time last year but we'd hate to do so and miss the lifting of restrictions by a couple of months - that's the worst fear

Tbh I don't think you'd be missing out on full lifting of restrictions by a couple of months. I would expect them to keep some level of restrictions throughout the winter months into 2022. I think the government were scared sh1tless by what happened this winter and won't risk that again, even if the majority of the country is vaccinated. They'll be terrified of variants emerging until the majority of the world is vaccinated :rolleyes:

My own personal prediction is that it will be Spring 2022 at the absolute earliest before there are no restrictions at all anymore. And even that is being very optimistic!

aoife1991 · 09-03-2021 3:46pm

and in the morning Diamonds of Frost wrote: »

How are Autumn 2021 couples feeling recently?

Optimistic, all my grandparents got their first dose of the vaccine last weekend. The government are saying that 80% of the population will have their first dose by June. While I think this is wildly optimistic, I am confident that a lot of people will be vaccinated by our wedding date in October. No matter what happens, I am getting married then. I am not postponing.

Worried about 2021?

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