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14-11-2019, 08:04   #31
Wildly Boaring
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Originally Posted by Trekker09 View Post
Been to 3 family weddings in the past 5 years where it's the other end of the country and is 3 nights in a 4-5 star hotel. As the kids were invited, for 2 of the weddings we had to book 2 rooms @ approx. €300/night/room! With food, drink (my kids are of drinking age and at uni!) and usual extras, it hit us for about €4k per wedding. What pisses me off most though is the fact that in all cases, the couple getting married were local to our area but picked the wedding venues for 'wow' factor.
Ha. The boom is deffo back. 4k to attend a wedding!!

You realise you are not obligated to do anything in life?
Not obligated to do 3 nights.
Not obligated to stay in same hotel.
Not obligated to even go.

Couple lovely B&Bs in Adare, handy walk to Adare Manor. Mount Juilet same.
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14-11-2019, 08:22   #32
LirW
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I think there is strong wedding culture here and the norms are different. It's a flourishing industry, otherwise these poor selfie mirror sods wouldn't survive.
I believe people should celebrate the way they want once they can afford but I feel a lot is dictated especially among women. You have to invite, you have to do X, you gotta to Y, keep in mind auntie Mary.
I found a great example a while ago, it was about a bride that fell in love with the idea of having royal blue nails for her wedding. No big deal, right? No, she was put under so much pressure that a french manicure is the norm that she seriously doubted her decision as if she's gonna make a huge mistake.
And this is it in a nutshell.

I come from a background where weddings are small and only the closest people are invited do there is a healthy interaction between guests and the couple. Irish weddings are so big, that it feels like you're summoned to some conference with mediocre hotel food.
It is the same hotel setting, the same church setting, the same food (people seem to have such notions about wedding food). And all because this is what you do to keep your friends as well as the aul relatives happy.
Throw in the latest gimmicks and it often feels like an affair that's not representing the couple and what they want but everything that's expected to have a "good" wedding.
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14-11-2019, 08:28   #33
JohnnyFlash
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Originally Posted by snoopsheep View Post
are ye afraid to say that 99% of the daftness is driven by the women?

ive never heard a single justification for the ****e that goes on and the money that gets spent, it all seems the greatest spoof going to me.

thirty grand for "my big day", jesus its toddler mentality stuff really
Women are way more gullible than men when it comes to marketing and advertising. They’ve been told the wedding is the most special day of their lives. End up spending a fortune on mediocre food, photos that no one wants to look at, and dresses for bridesmaids who don’t even like you.

The only good thing about a wedding is sinking back a load of pints and hitting the dance floor for a boogie. And the cocktail sausages later, even though people are going fancy with that now as well and so you get served rubbery pulled pork rolls instead.

Last edited by JohnnyFlash; 14-11-2019 at 08:31.
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14-11-2019, 08:42   #34
Trekker09
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Originally Posted by Wildly Boaring View Post
Ha. The boom is deffo back. 4k to attend a wedding!!

You realise you are not obligated to do anything in life?
Not obligated to do 3 nights.
Not obligated to stay in same hotel.
Not obligated to even go.

Couple lovely B&Bs in Adare, handy walk to Adare Manor. Mount Juilet same.
My original point is that we didn't have a choice but I made the point because it put a massive strain on close family members to attend, some of them young with small kids etc. You're right, we are not obligated, and if it wasn't for my wife being so close to her family we wouldn't have gone. No option to stay elsewhere on 2 of the occasions as they were remote.
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14-11-2019, 08:46   #35
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Ugh. And the sexism starts.... Men have families and friends they want to invite. My husband invited about twice the number of people to our wedding than I did.

Some people have absolutely no idea of the cost of things. You're buying dinner for 200 people for a start. How much do you think that costs?

Say you take your family out to a slap up dinner to celebrate something... i dunno, a birthday, an anniversary, some achievement , maybe you won an award. How much do you think that costs? Both sides of your family... mums , dads, siblings and partners. Maybe a couple of aunts or neighbours. Include wine. Let's say 40 people. How much would that cost you? You won't get much change from 4k. Now, maybe you want to add a suit and a nice shirt to that, you nip down the tailors... 500 quid? A new dress, hair, shoes another 500. You're at 5k here already for a dinner out with a small group.

Now, multiply that up by 5 (include suits and dresses for other bridal party members) to get to your 200 people. Look here, you're at 20k on just dinner, drinks and some outfits. None of that is frills.

Think then of everything else that gets added. A wedding cake, wouldn't be outrageous to have one of those would it? Entertainment for hours, maybe music in the ceremony, and music after your dinner? The ceremony itself and registrars, they're not free. A photographer.
All these things are thousands more, and none of this is yet a blingy wedding.
Put yourself, your parents and the bridal party up in the hotel for the night? Another 2k.



Now, you can of course go to the registry office, and then out for a bag of crisps and a pint after. That's fun too, and some couples do it. But if you want to buy dinner for 200 people, you're into big bucks straight away. And you cannot persuade me that every fella in the universe wants the crisps option, and every woman wants to treat her friends.
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14-11-2019, 08:47   #36
Edgware
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To much planning and thinking about it nowadays. God be with the good old shotgun wedding times. A dress with an elasticated waistband, a bit of a do, a couple of nights in a B and B in Salthill or maybe " he's got a job in London so they decided to bring the wedding forward" story.
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14-11-2019, 08:50   #37
snoopsheep
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"sexism"?

"the lads want it too"!

"what if you took everyone you knew to dinner in a castle, what THEN huh"?

will u shtopppp
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14-11-2019, 08:55   #38
pwurple
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Originally Posted by snoopsheep View Post
"sexism"?

You think this isn't sexism?

Quote:
Women are way more gullible than men
Give me a break.
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14-11-2019, 09:02   #39
razorblunt
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From reading reports of recent weddings in Ireland, it appears the boom is back.
And people are back to spending small fortunes on them, some in the hope of impressing people or getting on social media.

Probably taking dancing lessons again for the first dance, thinking up some wacky thing to do to get likes.

I was in a Donegal hotel about 2 weeks ago. Was sitting having a pint when 2 young 'uns had a meeting with the hotel wedding planner. They were within earshot (ok so I was listening).

I heard them chat about the band, thats fair enough. Most of us have had a band. But they also said they were getting a comedian and a comedy hypnotist for the evening do.
I was at a wedding where they got the "Wedding Comedian" before the meal. The bald lad, think he used to do the warm up for RTE, flogs his "make a boyband" setup and "Dunnes, €5" jokes.

He went down like a lead balloon.
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14-11-2019, 09:05   #40
razorblunt
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Originally Posted by Trekker09 View Post
My original point is that we didn't have a choice but I made the point because it put a massive strain on close family members to attend, some of them young with small kids etc. You're right, we are not obligated, and if it wasn't for my wife being so close to her family we wouldn't have gone. No option to stay elsewhere on 2 of the occasions as they were remote.
The ones with young children wouldn't need two rooms.
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14-11-2019, 09:12   #41
farmchoice
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[QUOTE=pwurple;111764733]You think this isn't sexism?


it isn't sexism, its stupidity. he didn't have more people there because he is a man he had more people there because you agreed to it even though you were unhappy with it.

what you should have done is what practically every other couple in the country do, have a more or less 50/50 split.
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14-11-2019, 09:12   #42
snoopsheep
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You think this isn't sexism?



Give me a break.
heh ok look ill grant you that one
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14-11-2019, 09:14   #43
Feisar
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Work colleague spent €40,000 on the wedding. €40k ffs! The boom is getting boomier
It does add up though:

Hotel Food
Rings
Wedding Dress
Brides Maids
Brides Maids Shoes
Groom
Grooms Men
Car
Photographer
Camera Man
Hair & Makeup
Church
Pre Wedding Crap
Priest
Alter Person
Flowers
Band
Invites
Stag
Hen
DJ
Rooms for wedding party
Honeymoon
Wedding Cake
Music in Church
Registration
Night Before Meal
BBQ After
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14-11-2019, 09:15   #44
MarkY91
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My auntie had a famous comedian, band, big fancy dinner...the lot. They were crippled by it. 4 years later, they're separated and can't stand eachother.

It was just a Facebook wedding to get loads of attention and loads of likes on their photoshoot posts.
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14-11-2019, 09:17   #45
terrydel
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Apart from the states, I've never seen a country where weddings are more materialistic, showy, look at us occasions than Ireland.
Sure half the people invited to most of the ones Ive been to, would see the couple once a year at best, and are invited just to get the numbers up in my view. Make it look like you are popular. One of the first questions asked about a wedding is how many attended. Who cares.
Ireland is a highly materialistic country imho, and there is no greater display of that than our attitude to weddings.
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