Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Why are so many people more ruder/nastier online than they are in real life?

Options
  • 27-05-2020 2:44pm
    #1
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭


    I enjoy engaging on internet forums and social media generally, but I am increasingly disappointed by how rude and obnoxious the way people treat others online, social media or on internet forums. The average person I engage with in real life is generally more pleasant than people I encounter on the internet. Why is that?

    Is it a case of the type of people who come onto social media and internet forums, i.e. strongly opinionated people looking to debate, most of whom are honest and respectful, but for many others to start fights and enjoy being rude/nasty to others online, or is it the way we present ourselves in real life all an act and the internet reveals who many of us really are?

    Politics debates in particularly can be toxic. The case of US and UK politics the debates on twitter at the moment are atrocious. People wishing each other cancer, ill health, death, lots of mean spirited comments generally, the atmosphere is so toxic. A lot of people just lack empathy. I like politics but I feel a higher propensity of people who follow it aren't good people (both sides) that's not everyone or even most people obviously, but there are some really ugly characters about.

    I suffer from depression, which has often been severe, so I'm having to limit my interactions online as its not good for my mental health to constantly get involved heated debates, especially when they get personal. Some of my interactions online when I've taken personal abuse have left me feeling like utter crap afterwards I'll admit. I think the internet is the outstanding invention of our times, but socialising on it has a mixed legacy at best.


«1

Comments

  • Options
    #2
    This is it
    Registered Users Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭This is it


    Much easier to be rude or to abuse someone online than if they're in front of you. Chances of getting a slap are much lower.

    An anonymous forum makes it far easier again, for obvious reasons. Plenty of keyboard warriors on boards, I'd suggest they wouldn't say "boo" if it was to your face.


  • Options
    #3
    smacl
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,707 Mod ✭✭✭✭smacl


    *quote snip*

    I'd have said the reverse. Give some people anonymity and they lose their manners and feel they can get away with all sorts.


  • Options
    #4
    Dr. Colossus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 98 ✭✭Dr. Colossus


    Anonymity.


  • Options
    #5
    Turtwig
    Registered Users Posts: 26,578 ✭✭✭✭Turtwig


    Dr. Colossus wrote: »
    Anonymity.

    So much of social media is not anonymous. So I doubt anonymity has as big an influence as we might intuitively think.


  • Options
    #6
    DellyBelly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,858 ✭✭✭DellyBelly


    What a stupid post OP...you are a numpty and no good to anyone...

    Only joking but I can say that here but certainly wouldn't say it to your face...


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    LessOutragePlz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,358 ✭✭✭LessOutragePlz


    OP you'll be glad to know that I'm a prick online and in person!


  • Options
    #8
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    *quote snip*

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

    ~Oscar Wilde


  • Options
    #9
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,526 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    “Anonymity“ is one thing but you, generally, don’t come across so much stupid, or bigoted, “opinions” in every day life.

    The tide is turning…



  • Options
    #10
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    Democrats are like that alright.


  • Options
    #11
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    *quote snip*

    I was asking this in my OP whether internet debate attracts characters who like to be nasty and abusive, or is who we just really are? The way you make it sound is humans are fundementally bad people underneath, you could be right, but it would sad if it were true.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    Wabbit Ears
    Registered Users Posts: 3,042 ✭✭✭Wabbit Ears


    its the range of topics online that IRL you aren't exposed to that people express opinions about online.

    Ive had people I speak to regularly shock me on topics Id never have thought to discuss with them, especially when it comes to politics and faith/religious matters. Some Ive stopped talking to because I dont like that side of them.

    I dont think people are different online and offline but yea, remove the repercussion of a slap and people do say what theyd normally keep to themselves.


  • Options
    #13
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    Wabbit Ears wrote: »
    I dont think people are different online and offline but yea, remove the repercussion of a slap and people do say what theyd normally keep to themselves.

    So people who are nice to me IRL privately are probably thinking negatively of me? Nice to know. :P


  • Options
    #14
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,278 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    You can say whatever you want online without the immediate danger of someone caving your skull in with a brick.


  • Options
    #15
    TomSweeney
    Registered Users Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭TomSweeney


    What annoys me is when you see this hostility in hobby orientated forums, fair enough you can understand politics/religion etc can be emotive topics and people lose the run of themselves, but when you go on to a forum to ask an honest question and you get some rude answer - and I'm not talking about "What does DSLR stand for on my camera?" type stuff that you can Google in a second , sometimes I google for something and can't get a clear answer , If I go to reddit I can get a GOOGLE IT sarcastic response - from an admin even.

    Having said that reddit is a cesspit, at least boards is nowhere near that bad, especially in the photography forum - might take longer to get a response though, but at least it will be a helpful one.


  • Options
    #16
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    I've always gone by the mantra of I wouldn't say anything on here, or any other social media platform, I would not say to your face. I think it helps to keep that in mind.

    But the anonymity of hiding being a screen is too great a temptation for many and you see it all the time here and elsewhere, as was said above most wouldn't dare say boo to you in real life.


  • Options
    #17
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Well, I avoid most social media because they're generally a cesspit (Yup, twitter is the worst in my eyes). It just seems to be the way the internet has gone. Extremist views have become mainstream, and many posters have little appreciation for being polite. Besides, it's almost as if Trolls have become the new ambition for many users. It's often difficult to know if someone is genuinely posting that way in honesty or just to press buttons.

    I use one social media app with a closed circle of contacts, and boards (as it's moderated quite fairly). That's the limit of my interactions online.


  • Options
    #18
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    *quote snip*
    This is somewhat true.

    Also in life tone makes up a lot. And twitter and social media manipulates what you mostly tweet about. Politics is pushed in front of your face.
    What shows up in your feed and what doesn't is interesting.

    Also there are people I would simply know to stay away from in life. Or that i wouldn't get on with them. That is harder to tell online I find. There we talk to everyone even people that perhaps we are too different from to talk to.


  • Options
    #19
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    TomSweeney wrote: »
    What annoys me is when you see this hostility in hobby orientated forums, .


    It kills them. That person must be really unhappy.


  • Options
    #20
    Bob Harris
    Registered Users Posts: 3,462 ✭✭✭Bob Harris


    It's the same reason why people inside a car curse and fcuk every other driver to high heaven but wouldn't say boo to them if they were face to face.


  • Options
    #21
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Bob Harris wrote: »
    It's the same reason why people inside a car curse and fcuk every other driver to high heaven but wouldn't say boo to them if they were face to face.
    You ain't met my dad.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #22
    Bob Harris
    Registered Users Posts: 3,462 ✭✭✭Bob Harris


    Bob Harris wrote: »
    It's the same reason why people inside a car curse and fcuk every other driver to high heaven but wouldn't say boo to them if they were face to face.
    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    You ain't met my dad.

    I see, I'm guessing he keeps a baseball bat handy to release his road rage. Best post up a pic and reg so I'll know to avoid!


  • Options
    #23
    briany
    Registered Users Posts: 13,537 ✭✭✭✭briany


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    You ain't met my dad.

    Is your dad Ronnie Pickering?


  • Options
    #24
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Bob Harris wrote: »
    I see, I'm guessing he keeps a baseball bat handy to release his road rage.


    This brings me back to one halloween. :(


  • Options
    #25
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    briany wrote: »
    Is your dad Ronnie Pickering?


    He can be.

    I am trying to help him grow.


  • Options
    #26
    Bob Harris
    Registered Users Posts: 3,462 ✭✭✭Bob Harris


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    He can be.

    I am trying to help him grow.

    Give him fertiliser and water him twice a week.


  • Options
    #27
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 14,715 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    A lot of is there's no visual feedback as we type. People's facial expressions tell us how they're feeling. Remove that for some people and their empathy gets removed too. Ditto tone.

    So it's not all down to anonymity.


  • Options
    #28
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,278 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Earthhorse wrote: »
    A lot of is there's no visual feedback as we type. People's facial expressions tell us how they're feeling. Remove that for some people and their empathy gets removed too. Ditto tone.

    So it's not all down to anonymity.

    A lot of this. I find some people online can't detect sarcasm without very obvious indication. People also get offended by slagging that would be perfectly normal in person.


  • Options
    #29
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,917 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    An arsehole is an arsehole regardless of being online or not, might just take you a little longer to determine that they are one when not online.

    But what makes someone an arsehole depends on your own standards etc.


  • Options
    #30
    andekwarhola
    Registered Users Posts: 4,638 ✭✭✭andekwarhola


    A lot of it is probably more prosaic than we realize.

    If you know somebody well in real life, you can discount them being occasionally tetchy or brusque but online, you're judging heavily on the statement itself - outside of full personal context - which isn't always the full picture.

    I think as well, some people are just more skilled than others at expressing light sarcasm or rebuke without it sounding nasty.

    That said, it's probably true that some people are just showing their true selves online as they don't have to adhere to the same level of social niceity.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #31
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    andekwarhola wrote: »
    A lot of it is probably more prosaic than we realize.

    If you know somebody well in real life, you can discount them being occasionally tetchy or brusque but online, you're judging heavily on the statement itself outside of full personal context which isn't always the full picture.


    .
    Ya. I agree
    But sometimes I am just a total bitch! :pac:


Advertisement