Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Gaslighting

  • 26-10-2020 8:02pm
    #1
    Away With The Fairies
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,077 ✭✭✭


    Has anyone ever had this done to them?

    Just horrible behaviour thrown at you and when you point out how hurtful and nasty their behaviour is they make up excuses that don't make sense and no genuine apology. Or an apology but no change in the behaviour. Then if you react badly at all, they blame your reaction and turn it around on you.

    What is wrong with these people?


«134567

Comments

  • #2
    TuringBot47
    Registered Users Posts: 991 ✭✭✭TuringBot47


    Are you sure you're not imagining it?


  • #3
    HAMMERCURRENT
    Registered Users Posts: 254 ✭✭HAMMERCURRENT


    They probably have mental health issues or a personality disorder and cannot control this behaviour.


  • #4
    COVID
    Registered Users Posts: 624 ✭✭✭COVID


    Ignore them, they're away with the fairies.


  • #5
    Away With The Fairies
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,077 ✭✭✭Away With The Fairies


    TuringBot47 wrote: »
    Are you sure you're not imagining it?

    Such a gaslighting question.


  • #6
    .anon.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,094 ✭✭✭.anon.


    Away With The Fairies wrote: »
    Then if you react badly at all, they blame your reaction and turn it around on you.

    You need to calm down. Total overreaction, as usual.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    chrissb8
    Registered Users Posts: 1,166 ✭✭✭chrissb8


    Away With The Fairies wrote: »
    Such a gaslighting question.



  • #8
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 32,988 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Absolutely. More than once. Best reaction is to call them out on it directly. You just sit back and ask, "tell me, do you gaslight people often, or am I the first?". Of course, they'll deny it, at which point you say, "the fact that you don;t recognise it indictaes it's the former".

    Done.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • #9
    Sky King
    Registered Users Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    That oul gaslighting went out when the electric came in.


  • #10
    TuringBot47
    Registered Users Posts: 991 ✭✭✭TuringBot47


    In fairness, I had to look up what "gaslighting" meant... I thought it was when people ignite their own farts.


  • #11
    mariaalice
    Registered Users Posts: 12,356 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    The routes of it are probably poor self-esteem and jealously along with no insight into themselves.


  • Advertisement
  • #12
    Away With The Fairies
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,077 ✭✭✭Away With The Fairies


    mariaalice wrote: »
    The routes of it are probably poor self-esteem and jealously along with no insight into themselves.

    Absolutely


  • #13
    JeffKenna
    Registered Users Posts: 4,507 ✭✭✭JeffKenna


    Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »
    Absolutely. More than once. Best reaction is to call them out on it directly. You just sit back and ask, "tell me, do you gaslight people often, or am I the first?". Of course, they'll deny it, at which point you say, "the fact that you don;t recognise it indictaes it's the former".

    Done.

    Or the fact they don't recognise it could mean you're gaslighting them?


  • #14
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 32,988 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    JeffKenna wrote: »
    Or the fact they don't recognise it could mean you're gaslighting them?

    Wouldn't rule it out :) - the trick is to get them on the defensive.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • #15
    irishblessing
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 962 ✭✭✭irishblessing


    Toxic people are the worst.


  • #16
    Alejandro68
    Closed Accounts Posts: 412 ✭✭Alejandro68


    How did they come up with this term gaslighting?


  • #17
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,458 ✭✭✭valoren


    Alejandro68 wrote: »
    How did they come up with this term gaslighting?

    From a play and the movie adaptation of it.
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gas_Light


  • #18
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Yes ....but it backfired on them BIG TIME.

    Don't worry about it op ...karma sorts those people out. Just move to a happier climate.


  • #19
    ChikiChiki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,950 ✭✭✭ChikiChiki


    Away With The Fairies wrote: »
    Such a gaslighting question.

    Username is apt.


  • #20
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,458 ✭✭✭valoren


    Milhouse: Remember when he ate my goldfish, then you said I never had a goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? WHY DID I HAVE THE BOWL?!

    An exemplary example of gaslighting.


  • #21
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    ChikiChiki wrote: »
    Username is apt.
    Then she is happier than most. :p


  • Advertisement
  • #22
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    valoren wrote: »
    Milhouse: Remember when he ate my goldfish, then you said I never had a goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? WHY DID I HAVE THE BOWL?!

    An exemplary example of gaslighting.
    Look goldfish are easy to kill.

    Kids don't stand a chance.

    There is a gaslight at the end of the tunnel.


  • #23
    gigantic09
    Registered Users Posts: 577 ✭✭✭gigantic09


    valoren wrote: »
    From a play and the movie adaptation of it.
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gas_Light



    The original British movie from 1940 is on u tube. Well worth a look for any fan of old black and white cinema.


  • #24
    Kylta
    Registered Users Posts: 15,457 ✭✭✭✭Kylta


    Alejandro68 wrote: »
    How did they come up with this term gaslighting?

    Named after a film with the same name, which contains the actions of what gaslighting is all about. An old movie too if im not mistaken


  • #25
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 32,988 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    valoren wrote: »
    Milhouse: Remember when he ate my goldfish, then you said I never had a goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? WHY DID I HAVE THE BOWL?!

    An exemplary example of gaslighting.

    Well if that is what you think, I've got something to tell you. Something that may shock and discredit you. And that thing is as follows: I'm not wearing a tie at all.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • #26
    katiek102010
    Registered Users Posts: 1,105 ✭✭✭katiek102010


    Alejandro68 wrote: »
    How did they come up with this term gaslighting?

    It's from a hichcock film. The husband tries to make the wife think she is insane. He starts by turning on and off lights and trying to convince her that she has done it.

    The lights were gas, hence the phrase. Its the first time psychological abuse was publicly addressed as a form of domestic abuse


  • #27
    COVID
    Registered Users Posts: 624 ✭✭✭COVID


    katiek102010 wrote: »
    It's from a hichcock film. The husband tries to make the wife think she is insane. He starts by turning on and off lights and trying to convince her that she has done it.

    The lights were gas, hence the phrase. Its the first time psychological abuse was publicly addressed as a form of domestic abuse

    Hitchcock didn't direct 'Gaslight'.


  • #28
    Alejandro68
    Closed Accounts Posts: 412 ✭✭Alejandro68


    It just makes me think of a person lighting the gas lanterns in the 1800's.That you see in the old films. I was just curious how that meant something more modern and political.


  • #29
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    my father was very adept at " gaslighting "


  • #30
    katiek102010
    Registered Users Posts: 1,105 ✭✭✭katiek102010


    COVID wrote: »
    Hitchcock didn't direct 'Gaslight'.

    My apologies, I was convinced it was Hichcock


  • Advertisement
  • #31
    COVID
    Registered Users Posts: 624 ✭✭✭COVID


    katiek102010 wrote: »
    My apologies, I was convinced it was Hichcock

    No probs, it was a 'psychological thriller', so his type of film.


Advertisement