Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

A true story about me. (Memories)

Options
123578

Comments

  • Options
    #122
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Ted_YNWA wrote: »
    I think Rubes could have been the inspiration for Some Mothers Do 'Ave them

    :P

    Ah no; Rubes is far too intelligent for that ans his mishaps are in a different class altogether which makes them all the more effective. When clowns mess up we expect it but when intelliegent folk do it it is a far more meaningful


  • Options
    #123
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Rubecula wrote: »
    never laid a brick in my life lol lol:D

    Pleased to hear that!


  • Options
    #124
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Graces7 wrote: »
    Ah no; Rubes is far too intelligent for that ans his mishaps are in a different class altogether which makes them all the more effective. When clowns mess up we expect it but when intelliegent folk do it it is a far more meaningful

    hmmm intelligent? me? wait until you know me :pac:
    Graces7 wrote: »
    Pleased to hear that!

    wait a tic I did place a couple down to put my incinerator on :D


  • Options
    #125
    gozunda
    Registered Users Posts: 18,996 ✭✭✭✭gozunda


    Graces7 wrote: »
    Young man; I was just dropping off to sleep when I remembered what your style reminds me of and my memory being fragile had to get up etc...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZUJLO6lMhI

    It was known as "the bricklayer's letter to his employer."

    Grace

    I think you need to listen to this one - a litte bit closer to home I think ... ;)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_Vfxuk8x_A


    Enjoy ...


  • Options
    #126
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    gozunda wrote: »
    Grace

    I think you need to listen to this one - a litte bit closer to home I think ... ;)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_Vfxuk8x_A


    Enjoy ...

    Brilliant theft! Thank you


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #127
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    They just don't write them like that any more! :D


  • Options
    #128
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    This goes back a few years to my teens, yes, way back in the mist of time.

    My first job was in a warehouse for £5 per week, it didn't last though as I seemed to get into fights and stuff, (I was only 15) Anyway, I decided to look for another job.

    I found a great job that paid the extravagant sum of £7 per week, in a shop, a cake shop, a cake shop totally run by ladies, dozens of them, everywhere. Many of them my age. (This snippet is important to the rest of the story.)

    One day, I can not remember why now, I was due to get into work early. Sadly, I overslept, so I was running late. I grabbed my trousers, my old school trousers as it happened which I had out grown a bit, they were slightly tight to put on over my underpants, so I left the said item of underwear off. I was certain it would not matter for the day.

    When I arrived at the job, I was told I would be trialling out a new nylon type of overall, imagine my surprise that the new overalls was just a jacket.

    I didn't mind though as the tight pants and white jacket gave me what I fondly thought of as a sexy look.

    Then I dropped something on the floor, I bent down to pick it up and ................. yes the trousers could not take the strain.

    Sadly for me my lack of underwear also made itself noticed. The (cough cough) ladies were very sympathetic, getting me to pick things up all over the place. Even in the shop in front of customers. The manageress kept me bending over and calling members of staff to help with odd bits of paperwork. I did not feel very sexy after that, I could not wait to get out and on my motorbike to go home.

    Ah yes, that little motorbike, more of that at a later date.


  • Options
    #129
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    So your misadventures began from the age of 15. Hmmmm! Looks like you made a career of it Rube! :D


  • Options
    #130
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    I still think there's a book, or TV series in all this.


  • Options
    #131
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Rubecula wrote: »
    This goes back a few years to my teens, yes, way back in the mist of time.

    My first job was in a warehouse for £5 per week, it didn't last though as I seemed to get into fights and stuff, (I was only 15) Anyway, I decided to look for another job.

    I found a great job that paid the extravagant sum of £7 per week, in a shop, a cake shop, a cake shop totally run by ladies, dozens of them, everywhere. Many of them my age. (This snippet is important to the rest of the story.)

    One day, I can not remember why now, I was due to get into work early. Sadly, I overslept, so I was running late. I grabbed my trousers, my old school trousers as it happened which I had out grown a bit, they were slightly tight to put on over my underpants, so I left the said item of underwear off. I was ce
    rtain it would not matter for the day.

    When I arrived at the job, I was told I would be trialling out a new nylon type of overall, imagine my surprise that the new overalls was just a jacket.

    I didn't mind though as the tight pants and white jacket gave me what I fondly thought of as a sexy look.

    Then I dropped something on the floor, I bent down to pick it up and ................. yes the trousers could not take the strain.

    Sadly for me my lack of underwear also made itself noticed. The (cough cough) ladies were very sympathetic, getting me to pick things up all over the place. Even in the shop in front of customers. The manageress kept me bending over and calling members of staff to help with odd bits of paperwork. I did not feel very sexy after that, I could not wait to get out and on my motorbike to go home.

    Ah yes, that little motorbike, more of that at a later date.

    Is that what is meant by the bare essentials?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #132
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    So your misadventures began from the age of 15. Hmmmm! Looks like you made a career of it Rube! :D

    oh no JB, it goes back a lot further than that. :eek:


  • Options
    #133
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    Rubecula wrote: »
    oh no JB, it goes back a lot further than that. :eek:

    Book/movie no.2 - a prequel.


  • Options
    #134
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Eddie Young Videodisc wrote: »
    Book/movie no.2 - a prequel.

    go on then tell me who would be chosen to play me?


  • Options
    #135
    Ted_YNWA
    Registered Users Posts: 71,799 ✭✭✭✭Ted_YNWA


    Rubecula wrote: »
    go on then tell me who would be chosen to play me?

    Peter Sellers.


  • Options
    #136
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    You'd love us to say 'George Clooney'. Wouldn't ya? :P


  • Options
    #137
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    You'd love us to say 'George Clooney'. Wouldn't ya? :P

    no :D


  • Options
    #138
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Rowan Atkinson comes to mind.


  • Options
    #139
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    Rowan Atkinson comes to mind.

    lol I m not Mr Bean, these mishaps could happen to anyone :D


  • Options
    #140
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    So you would like us to think! Start typing this stuff Rube!


  • Options
    #141
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    T scenario was this, later in the year I am taking my young OH away for a holiday as it is a big birthday for her, and I need to save some money, and as we live in different parts of UK (long story that is all about work) I decided to pop along for a visit and to make sure she had sorted out everything for going away. So, I used my senior citizens rail card which ensured a cheap trip.


    The thing is I have not used the trains to get anywhere in over 45 years, so I assmed it was similar to the way it used to be. I underestimated the amount of change and also, being frank, I overestimated my strength and endurance, not a brilliant idea to carry four cases of luggage then. :eek:
    I am not sure how it happened but I somehow managed to get a train with only two carriages on it, the toilets were rank and to make things even nastier were also full of screaming kids on the way to the zoo the beach or the fairground. after a while even the mums were screaming and I felt like it.

    Then, blessed relief, I changed trains..... well it may have been a relief if I could get to the train with my luggage easily, and having used the lift to get off the platform I found I needed to use another to get to the train and when I got there found a lack of seats. Oh my gawd I was sweating and shaking by the time we got to the next change.... I got the next train easily enough with help from an easy going porter. And there were seats on it, the trip was nearly over so I was feeling good at this point, then of course I got to the final station. the station had a bridge to get to the exit, but no lift no ramp just steps and nobody in sight to help. It was like a horror film set. Eventually of course a nice porter turned up and helped me over the bridge and even phoned a taxi for ne, I finally got to the place my good lady was staying and fell into her arms in relief. Her dulcet tones are still with me now, "Why the hell didn't you use the car Softlad?" I explained to her gentle questions with a equally friendly "I was trying to save money"

    Anyway, it was over now. I was sweating so I had a quick bath and settled down for a bight in. "What is on the telly hon?" The answer was disappointing as the telly was dead, bugga. then it came to my attention that the washing machine was also broken, as was a few other things … I told her not to worry as I would sort things out for her. The following morning I went out hopped on a bus and set off to sort thu=is mess out, forgetting where I as told to get off the bus. I got off next to a car sales instead of the supermarket and other shops. This was a big mistake, a very BIG mistake …. by the time I bought the telly, the washing machine and a few other bits and bobs I had also bought myself a new car. I would like to say at this point I still have a nercedes and a vw Passat at home so I really could have sold them first. I just never expected to get another car. Lovely as it is the car has a few issues to get to grips with, for example the childlocks … I still do not know how to disengage them. as became apparent when I climbed in the back seat and let the door close behind me on the way home. no wonder her pet name for me is Mr Bean. It took me an hour to get out of the sodding thing …. wriggling and squiring to get out of the car and after that I had to go eat myself back to being normal (for me)

    I am sure you would have expected me to spend money when I was trying to save it, but even so a new telly, washing machine and omg of all things a bloody new car.....
    and I never sorted out the reasons for my trip anyway:eek:


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #142
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,047 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    Not one of us is going to ask how/why you managed to get into the back seat and close the door on the way home. No-one.


  • Options
    #143
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    My nomination for the actor to play Rubes in the movie version of this changes with each chapter.


  • Options
    #144
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    We should start offering suggestions for Rube's autobiography. Here's one:

    'Rube's Odyssey'.

    Honestly Rube, how does your life keep on being so complicated, and hilarious!


  • Options
    #145
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    looksee wrote: »
    Not one of us is going to ask how/why you managed to get into the back seat and close the door on the way home. No-one.
    basically I was tired so decided to sit in the comfort of the back seat as a way to get a few mins of shut eye. :(
    Eddie Young Videodisc wrote: »
    My nomination for the actor to play Rubes in the movie version of this changes with each chapter.
    either Johnny Depp or someone like him :cool:
    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    We should start offering suggestions for Rube's autobiography. Here's one:

    'Rube's Odyssey'.

    Honestly Rube, how does your life keep on being so complicated, and hilarious!
    Not a clue I think I am in the Trueman show most of the time :D


  • Options
    #146
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    The theme music would have to be "When the red red robin comes bob bob bobbing along".


  • Options
    #147
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Eddie Young Videodisc wrote: »
    The theme music would have to be "When the red red robin comes bob bob bobbing along".

    I would prefer this:



  • Options
    #148
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Perfick!


  • Options
    #149
    New Home
    Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 76,346 Mod ✭✭✭✭New Home


    Rube, should it happen again, may I suggest you roll down the window and open the door using the handle outside? You know, like the trains in the "olden days"... :D


  • Options
    #150
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    that would have worked but for one thing … electric windows …. no power means no window movement. And I could not put power on from the back seat. Hence the wide eyed look of horror on my face.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #151
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    "Electric windows"........"no power"!! :D


Advertisement