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Strained relationship with my Mother since my Wedding

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    #32
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Alrigghtythen wrote: »

    She asked to give a speech, so what, I don't get annoyance over this.

    Because she asked last minute when all the other (arranged) speeches had happened. It wasn't arranged so I assume she had nothing ready so was going to speak off the cuff which given how she'd been acting on the day was likely not to go well and as others have said wedding speeches are usually pre-planned with the hotel so they know when to serve what food.
    Alrigghtythen wrote: »
    Why where you looking at your mother and not you wife when you were saying your vows? And then being annoyed because you she didn't have the expected facial expression! Maybe she was glaring at you because you were looking at your mother instead of your wife while saying your wedding vows.

    They looked around to see the happy faces of the people they'd invited to spend their special day with. My friend looked at me during his vows as I was best man and he mentioned something we did together in the vows so both he and his partner looked over at me and smiled. Another friend looked at his sister during the vows and she told him to look back or she'd start crying and there was a good nature laugh from everyone. People look around during their vows, its not a rom com film where you just stare at your partner. You invited the people who mean the most to you to share the day and parents tend to be seated at the front so if someone is sitting their with a face on them it's really obvious and distracting.


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    #33
    MartyMcFly84
    Registered Users Posts: 1,326 ✭✭✭MartyMcFly84


    She paid for your brother to attend and gave you a present. The present wasn't of a high enough value to please you.

    She asked to give a speech, so what, I don't get annoyance over this.

    Why where you looking at your mother and not you wife when you were saying your vows? And then being annoyed because you she didn't have the expected facial expression! Maybe she was glaring at you because you were looking at your mother instead of your wife while saying your wedding vows.

    What your brother spends the money in is irrelevant

    Your mother is not responsible if her relations go to your wedding or not.

    Just to address a few of your points. I said the money was not a big issue for me. But it was not my brothers wedding but he received a large some for no reason, and was not paying for anything.

    Regarding the speech. I didn't say I was annoyed. Just with everything going on on the day her new boyfriend coming to speak to me instead of her and the kitchen telling me the next course was coming I made quick decision and said know. If my Mom spoke to me in person or had said something in advance i probably would have said yes. But again , I did say in another post it was something I am now regretting.

    When saying the vows, there are times when the officiant is speaking, then you have your turn and then your other half. There are times in this process you are looking at your guests and loved ones during a massive occasion. When the officiant was speaking I was looking at my wife and glancing down and smiling at my guests/family who had travelled to be there with us.

    Re what my brother spends he money on being irrelevant.It kind of is because it demonstrates the level of caring and respect he had for my wife and I. He didnt say thank you for the meal and open bar. He had money for himself in the pub all week but wasn't able to give us a card or gift gesture.

    My mother is not responsible for her relations, this is true. However no one made a more of a deal than my mother on the number of guests she wanted to invite. The location was picked to suit her side of the family. This was never acknowledged by her.


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