Masturbation

Gael23 wrote: »

I’m not sure the fantasising about other women is normal but masturbating during a healthy relationship is perfectly fine

Unless you're jizzing on your partner while they sleep.

greenspurs wrote: »

sexual Fantasy ? it is not always acted upon.


So you would not look at a beautiful woman on the beach? walking down the street ?

Well that's a separate context again.

With me, I think fantasising about someone sexually might permeate into my real world interactions with them in some way. That can happen in subtler ways than attempting to fulfil the fantasy.

Aside from loyalty and protecting my relationship with my wife, I would feel I was being creepy in a lot of cases, even if I was single. For example I taught women at third level and worked with women who were effectively subordinates. I think it would be transgressing a clear and important boundary in those cases.

Just picture them in their underwear.

grassylawn wrote: »

Maybe body language or the expression on your face. Or it could form unconscious bias. I think it was a revelation to me when I realized one of my exes wasn't a great person or super-intelligent. These were attributes I ascribed to her because she was good-looking and had nice boobs. I don't think it's uncommon to idealize people you are attracted to.

My view is that yes you can transgress imaginary boundaries in your imagination. The difference is that the only person it directly affects is yourself. But maybe it can affect how you view or interact with other people too.

Would you be ok with absolutely any sort of fantasy, so long as it stayed a fantasy? Take it to the logical extreme.

Im sorry but i dont understand how 'using'/thinking about some one in a sexual fantasy is detrimental in any way, if it remains a fantasy?

greenspurs wrote: »

Im sorry but i dont understand how 'using'/thinking about some one in a sexual fantasy is detrimental in any way, if it remains a fantasy?

Do you mean you don't understand something I said, or just that you don't agree with it or relate to it?

Deleted User wrote: »

Have to be honest, if I have to belt one out, I'd often be thinking of people I know. I'd have assumed that was the norm for most people, that you'd be imagining people you'd like to get stuck into in real life, but can't for various reasons..?

Exactly....

I thought that was the norm ?

It's all coming out now **** about women you know/work with etc. is actually a pretty big taboo. I think women would be reasonably ok with someone fantasising in their head about riding them - but once you get into pulling your dick whlle doing so that is a disgusting image for them. Add in "using" social media pics to the equation for more disgust.

Who you **** about is nobody's business but your own but some lads are probably naïve enough to think that "I wanked about you last night" is a great compliment to pay someone.

I'm laughing away to myself here also thinking about The Inbetweeners and the lads telling Will that his mother is looking hot and "that's tonight's **** sorted".

BrianD3 wrote: »

It's all coming out now **** about women you know/work with etc. is actually a pretty big taboo. I think women would be reasonably ok with someone fantasising in their head about riding them - but once you get into pulling your dick whlle doing so that is a disgusting image for them. Add in "using" social media pics to the equation for more disgust.

Who you **** about is nobody's business but your own but some lads are probably naïve enough to think that "I wanked about you last night" is a great compliment to pay someone.

I'm laughing away to myself here also thinking about The Inbetweeners and the lads telling Will that his mother is looking hot and "that's tonight's **** sorted".

How would you know what women think ?
Some might like it, and some wouldnt like it.. ?

And who would go up and tell yer wan in centra that you knocked one out about her ?!
You are super extending anything that has been mentioned.
Some people are a bit prudish still about sex and masturbation .

BrianD3 wrote: »

How would I know, maybe because I know plenty of women and can read them without asking them straight out about how would they would feel about Trevor in accounts **** about their social media pics.

The slightest suggestion or implication that this may be happening is IMO a no go area of thought for many. They also are not particularly keen on thinking about men viewing porn and what they might get up to while doing so but that is still much less of taboo than the thought of men using friends and work colleagues as material.


As I said, some naive lad whose logic would be that he would feel complimented if he knew a woman was flicking her bean about him therefore if the scenario is reversed, then the woman would feel complimented.

To sum up, women are in general different than men when it comes to attitudes to sex and masturbation.

So, just ignore it because its 'taboo'.... :rolleyes:
Pretend it doesnt happen.
Sex and masturbation used to be taboo also when the catholic church ran Ireland, and you might be surprised about what some of those "plenty of women" get up to in their thoughts and actions !!

No reason to want to wean yourself off... **** is great I still love it

BrianD3 wrote: »

How would I know, maybe because I know plenty of women and can read them without asking them straight out about how they would feel about Trevor in accounts **** about their social media pics.

The slightest suggestion or implication that this may be happening is IMO a no go area of thought for many. They also are not particularly keen on thinking about men viewing porn and what they might get up to while doing so but that is still much less of taboo than the thought of men using friends and work colleagues as material.

Ah, the good old "EEEWWWW!" response, which most women give by absolute default when talking up the possibility of intimacy with "Joe down in Accounting". A pre-packaged reaction to any such suggestion in a social environment, aimed mostly towards peer acceptance and avoiding to arouse suspicions of having "low standards", especially amongst other women who would then judge negatively.

Only exception, when it is allowed to forego the "EEEWWWW!" reaction - if they're sure EVERY other woman within earshot would want to have a go at "Joe down in Accounting". Which usually requires minimum conditions of him to be a 6'5" absolute stud and drive a Porsche.

Main difference with guys - you can say you'd love having a couple of hours alone with "Janet down in Finance", even if said Janet suffers from a skin condition, is missing a leg and an arm, suffers from b.o. and has an history of dudes disappearing after hooking up with her. The most negative reaction you'll get will be "uh...good for you mate, good for you." :D:D

The first attitude doesn't pass the "real life test": if it was the real attitude, no woman would ever get with the "average Jim(s)"; They do, so it means the "EEEWWWW!" conundrum is just smoke & mirrors :D:D

The second...smashes the test and actually beats any fantasy, proving once again if there was any need that for most of us guys, the theorem "doesn't matter if she's breathing, as long as the corpse is still warm enough..." hold absurdly right :P:mad:

BrianD3 wrote: »

As I said, some naive lad whose logic would be that he would feel complimented if he knew a woman was flicking her bean about him therefore if the scenario is reversed, then the woman would feel complimented.

To sum up, women are in general different than men when it comes to attitudes to sex and masturbation.

You don't say

Yet, gotta tell...bloke going up to a lady and using "hey, last night I strangled the duck thinking about you" as an opener (or at any moment, really)...I would GUESS he wouldn't exactly be Noble prize material, just sayin

Zascar wrote: »

Don't be ridiculous. A person's private thoughts are the one thing that is absolutely none of anyone else business. As long as it stays as a thought and nothing more - a person can think about anything they dam please.

+ 1 million. Last thing we need is the though police...