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Access and birth cert

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  • 26-12-2020 3:39pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,
    I'm looking for some thoughts on access for my husbands daughter. Basically,long story short, he had an affair with a married woman, which resulted in a baby, to be honest I'm not sure if her husband knowingly did it or not but he named as the child's father on the birth cert (the mum said he knew from the beginning, this man said he hadnt a clue) my husband knew from the beginning that he may be the dad, but the woman told him that her husband knew and he was bringing the kid up as his. Roll on 3 years she pops up this year and demands my husband tell me all. Over those 3 years she had little contact with my husband and never really about the baby,more about the affair. In April this year my husband confessed. And he purchased a DNA test. Due to 1 thing or another it was only don't in November and came back as my husband being the dad.
    We also have children.and have been completely honest with them about a sibling. The baby also has other siblings too. My husband has seen the child a few times for max of 1 hour at a time supervised in the childs home, which gets very awkward for him as the other siblings are running around etc.
    The problem now are the mum had allowed the child video chats with my husband but now is stopping that. She also cancelled him bringing the child to see santa and picks and chooses when he can see her. Like she will tell him she can see him tomorrow but won't say a time. And then will tell him at 2pm to be there at 3pm. She seems to only do it when her husband is working.
    She will also block him in the evenings and tell him he can't see the kid again then unblock the next day.
    We are planning to try and get access through the court properly, as the mum has said she doesn't want money, we have been buying her clothes and stuff and my husband will bring them up, we also have set a credit union account since the dna results came back with an amount weekly.
    My husband also wants his name on the birth cert, he has no intentions of disappearing from the kids life, and the mum had said from word go that he was to have nothing to do with the kid,and she had just blocked him. He is getting very stressed as he has fallen in love with the kid and would live to see more, they have gotten very attached. But I'm essentially looking for advice on how he can deal with the mum. My husband is an amazing dad and the kid would gain so much from him being part of her life.


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    #2
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,764 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    When a woman is married there is a legal presumption that her husband is the father and he is automatically named on the birth cert.

    All your husband can realistically do is apply for access through courts. A court ordered DNA test will probably be required. She doesn't sound like she's a reasonable person so trying to reason with her directly isn't going to work.


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    #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    If the mother's husband is willing to sign a statutory declaration that he is not the child's biological father, then your husband can also sign a statutory declaration declaring himself as biological father.

    Once this happens, your husband can apply for an access order. Once he has an access order (or any order naming him as the child's father) an application can be made to the GRO to amend the birth certificate. Its a complicated process, but it is possible.

    BUT - if the mother's husband is not willing to make a declaration that he is not the biological father, then paternity may need to be established before your husband can make an application for access and/or guardianship of the child.

    Some more information on the process, here.

    Currently all the cards are in the mother's hands. In the eyes of the law, the child has a mother and a father (her husband) and your husband has no rights. In a complicated case like this, you would probably be best advised to talk to a solicitor experienced in family law.

    Treoir are also a very good source of information. Best of luck.


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