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Stupidest thing you ever said

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    #32
    UCD GroupThink
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 55 ✭✭UCD GroupThink


    hairyslug wrote: »
    Of the top of my head, asking for cockporn at the cinema
    It's obviously something you watch so?


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    #33
    sightband
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 670 ✭✭✭sightband


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    To any lady friend that you are seeing or may do in the future you never, EVER say "you look grand".

    is it better to say "you look like a fat pig coated in face paint"


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    #34
    James Bond Junior
    Registered Users Posts: 5,128 ✭✭✭James Bond Junior


    Jokingly saying to friend about her husband "he doesn't bate you half enough" over something silly.

    Found out a fee months later he was beating seven shades out of her regularly.


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    #35
    recyclops
    Registered Users Posts: 2,370 ✭✭✭recyclops


    A while back I was out with my mates prior to an Ireland game. He was telling us about his date the previous week that he met on a app.

    They pretty much ended up back in a hotel room and were getting busy when he advised that a chicken fillet fell out of her bra.

    Genius here states "jaysus that's disgusting, didn't it smell"

    Cue roarous laughter and it still geta brought up too this day. :(


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    #36
    decky1
    Registered Users Posts: 975 ✭✭✭decky1


    my wife got a new jeans she asked me 'Does my arse look like the gable of our house' 'well no matter what i say you'll be offended' say's I 'No i won't' say what you like 'she said Well say's I, I rode your sister last week.'


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    #37
    stevveyg
    Registered Users Posts: 180 ✭✭stevveyg


    at a funeral of my mates mum, when i was in church shaking his hand i said "happy birthday" instead of sorry for your loss!
    i cringe so hard every time i think of it.


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    #38
    sightband
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 670 ✭✭✭sightband


    stevveyg wrote: »
    at a funeral of my mates mum, when i was in church shaking his hand i said "happy birthday" instead of sorry for your loss!
    i cringe so hard every time i think of it.

    tough going on him having a birthday on the same day as his mum's funeral, at least you acknowledged it.


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    #39
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    sightband wrote: »
    is it better to say "you look like a fat pig coated in face paint"

    If you have a limited vocabulary than yeah, I guess.

    Don't see what it will achieve though.


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    #40
    Car99
    Registered Users Posts: 2,530 ✭✭✭Car99


    Was tinkering away at a job in work and there were two people I hardly knew within earshot having a chit chat about something or other which i was finding quite interesting, anyways I got to a tricky bit of my job and missed a bit of their conversation and unknown to myself I said sorry I missed thay bit . The two just stopped and looked at me . All I could say was sorry ignore me. I couldnt even walk away cause i had to finish the job. The embarrassment.


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    #41
    Archeron
    Registered Users Posts: 6,164 ✭✭✭Archeron


    Innocently asking the Spanish girl in the spar deli if she had brown baps. I didn't even realise til somebody behind me laughed.


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    #42
    ChikiChiki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,950 ✭✭✭ChikiChiki


    I've had a few clangers over the years, ones where you immediately realise the sheer idiocy of the words that came out of my mouth.

    The latest one was, "How is the air conditioning in that" when looking at an excavator where the cab was exposed and had no roof.


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    #43
    UCD GroupThink
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 55 ✭✭UCD GroupThink


    stevveyg wrote: »
    at a funeral of my mates mum, when i was in church shaking his hand i said "happy birthday" instead of sorry for your loss!
    i cringe so hard every time i think of it.
    Why are there so many funeral jokes. I'm even wondering is this one made up!


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    #44
    UCD GroupThink
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 55 ✭✭UCD GroupThink


    Car99 wrote: »
    Was tinkering away at a job in work and there were two people I hardly knew within earshot having a chit chat about something or other which i was finding quite interesting, anyways I got to a tricky bit of my job and missed a bit of their conversation and unknown to myself I said sorry I missed thay bit . The two just stopped and looked at me . All I could say was sorry ignore me. I couldnt even walk away cause i had to finish the job. The embarrassment.
    Now that was funny. I think it should be in a movie.


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    #45
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    I accidentally said 'Jesus that's shocking' after someone told me about their dad being forced to undergo electroconsulsive therapy when he was younger.


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    #46
    yuridwyer
    Registered Users Posts: 82 ✭✭yuridwyer


    Sirsok wrote: »
    Got caught in an argument in Melbourne in my younger years. Both sides being held back by group we were with.
    Typical shouting

    "yeah come say that to my face"
    "**** off"
    "Ill kick your head in etc...."

    Until i shout
    "Yeah well suck my little dick"

    Pause

    Everyone started laughing, even my mates, whole situation diffused, and i accepted defeat and got in a taxi.

    Similar story, one time in secondary school bfore a class two brothers were having a right barney, and it ended with one of them saying, " go fcuk yourself Christy Brown's brother", some laugh, better than any punch up would have been


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    #47
    stevveyg
    Registered Users Posts: 180 ✭✭stevveyg


    sightband wrote:
    tough going on him having a birthday on the same day as his mum's funeral, at least you acknowledged it.

    UCD GroupThink wrote:
    Why are there so many funeral jokes. I'm even wondering is this one made up!

    It was no joke!!! and no reason to make it up!!


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