Cheated on Multiple times

That's a very painful experience, I'm truly sorry, but maybe counselling would help, best of luck

I too invested so much time in a relationship and was cheated on. My then boyfriend cheated with a so called friend.
If he is remorseful and both of you want to really make this work you can but it’s not going to be easy.
Myself and my boyfriend tried to get through this alone but had to invest in counselling

You have invested a lot and this is an excruciatingly painful revelation.

But you need to prepare yourself to leave.

He doesn't value you in the way you value him. The trust is broken and you will become more paranoid and resentful as more time passes. You won't like who you become when you treat yourself badly, and that is what you are doing by staying in this relationship.

Don't stay with him because you fear being alone.

Don't stay with him because you think you won't love anyone else as much.

You need to invest in yourself now. Counselling, spa breaks, visits home to family, career advancement, education, starting that photography blog, seeing your GP and getting your health checkups or investing in a gym membership, attending cookery classes. Become a renaissance woman and you will walk away with your pride in tact. Use this as fuel to go after things you only wished for in the past! This is a new chapter. Best of luck to you.

Jaelyn Howling Froth wrote: »

I find it a shocking reflection on society that everyone has assumed that the partner that cheated is male. It may well be of course, but the OP’s name is risteard

1) This is posted in the ladies lounge.

2) Men in relationships cheat more than females in relationships.

Have you been in a similar situation?
You seem very negative. If this person is considering giving the relationship another attempt then they should be advised to keep his/her guard up but if I had listened to all the advice bestowed onto me I would not be with my husband now nor would we be having a baby on the way.
I’m a sign that relationships can recover from such heartache with time, patients and care and respect for one another.
If this relationship is what both parties want start to build a new & wonderful foundation from now

Ive been in a similar situation although thankfully we wearnt together as long as you and your partner and I found out what he was like early in the relationship. Personally I couldnt stay with him, I lost any respect for him and there was no getting that back. I tried to stay and make it work but I was mental, I was paranoid, anxious and overthinking all the time, anytime he went out with his friends or didnt come home straight after work, any new woman he befriended on facebook, I was no longer myself, I became preoccupied with him, I was a nightmare to live with, I couldnt even live with myself and the way I was feeling and behaving, I had to leave and I thank myself constantly for leaving, I gained more self respect the day I left him for good. The thoughts of potentially having spent another 4, 5 or 10 years with him, knowing how little he respected me, the best thing I ever did was leave him, the worst thing I ever did was not leave him sooner.

While saying that I have friends and relatives who stay with cheating partners and they seem to just get on with it, everyone is different and everyone has there own way of dealing with things, we all have our own line in the sand and no one here can tell you what to do.

Personally I would rather be single than with someone who had such little respect for me, themselves and the relationship.

Ali Sancis wrote: »

Guys the fact this person is questioning about walking away suggests s/he wants to give this another chance.
I’ve seen what my now husband when through with his guilt and remorse and even though I was in pain myself that too was not easy to watch.
I was advised to walk away and I did temporarily but we are so happy now. If you believe this person can make you truly happy and you have invested so much time in each other and the other person is truly remorseful then you can get past this together but both of you have to want this.

He did it 5 times, it wasnt a mistake, he knew exactly he was doing. If you feel guilty or remorseful about something, you would tend not to repeat the behaviour a further 4 times.

rainbowtrout wrote: »

The OPs post history suggests as well as his username that it's a man.


OP, has your partner shown any remorse? Did they admit to cheating of their own accord, or was it something you found out by accident/had suspicions of? While you might feel you have put a lot of time into the relationship, it would appear that your partner is not taking it seriously if they have cheated on you five times. If this was a shorter relationship say 2-3 years, would you walk away under the same circumstances?

Op, if you ever felt alone in this world and that no one is thinking about you, pin this post and take comfort that someone somewhere out there (namely this person here) is 3 years deep into your boards.ie posting history.

myshirt wrote: »

Op, if you ever felt alone in this world and that no one is thinking about you, pin this post and take comfort that someone somewhere out there (namely this person here) is 3 years deep into your boards.ie posting history

The OP is clearly coming on here in quite a state of distress, and then gets a response like this? Do you really think, under the circumstances, that the OP gives a hoot about someone who might be looking through his posting history?

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

He did it 5 times, it wasnt a mistake, he knew exactly he was doing.

I can only echo these sentiments exactly. Five times? Come on.

Someone who behaves like that is an absolute grade-A-arsehole, be they man, woman or beast.

risteardb wrote: »

Is there happiness post relationship?

Yes! Absolutely yes.

Did you stay or end things?