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No self belief etc......

  • 22-05-2020 8:25pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3


    Basically looking for any tips as I have zero self, confidence etc. I've read numerous self help books, tried CBT. I feel like I'm getting nowhere


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,388 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    What do you mean by no self confidence? How is it effecting you? Its hard to help without a bit more information.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    As the poster above has said, can you give us more info about yourself? I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all method.

    I definitely feel for you though. Whenever I've struggled with my own opinion of myself, it's ended up hurting me. People often say you shouldn't compare yourself to others. I would say you shouldn't compare yourself to the outside of someone else's life, their Instagram or Facebook, but I actually do think certain comparisons are helpful. When I think about confident people that are out there living these amazing lives, I think "well, how did they get here? How did they manage to do all that?"

    Spoiler: usually when I really think about it, I come out realising that there's very little that separates us except that they felt like they belonged when I didn't, or felt entitled to something I didn't, and it helped them just go out and shoot for what they wanted. When they achieved something, they felt they deserved it. Meanwhile I would try to be kind and good and work hard, and I'd still feel like I was putting people out when I so much as said hello to them. I'd apply to dead-end jobs I was over-qualified for, hang out with people who didn't respect me, and under-sell myself at every opportunity. There is ZERO reason to feel like someone else is better than you, or deserves more than you, or belongs to the world more than you do. You are as good as everyone else and you deserve to be able to expect the same amount of space in a room as anyone else. You might just need to get into the practice of having that expectation.

    If your issues stem from a different place than mine though, that all probably sounds pretty irrelevant! Let us know if there are any specifics you can give.


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