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19-11-2019, 20:57   #3751
Bullocks
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I suspect this could be the buddy mentioned by Bullocks who frequents the cattle facilities. His, ahem, condition seems to have festered into something worse and probably having been banned from the slatted shed is now seeking similar relief into this regressive pot. This lad bears watching for signs of deterioration. He’s already going to pot.
When squatting in the slats you could get streaking of the legs ,arms or neck from a cow on a good 18% nut .
My buddy isn't deteriorating though , he was always rough . Used to get a great kick out of wizzing into the tray of the fag machine in CP's back in the day
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19-11-2019, 21:30   #3752
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I'm a squatter gerry, unable to spread my feet too far apart, so sometimes I got excrement on the inside of my legs. Is a crime?
Can I ask, you're not a cyclist by any chance? They love shïtting themselves too.
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19-11-2019, 21:45   #3753
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Can I ask, you're not a cyclist by any chance? They love shïtting themselves too.
Could be a long distance runner, maybe?
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19-11-2019, 22:41   #3754
padd b1975
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For squatting, check out Paddy Cullen's position as he faces a penalty in the 1974 All Ireland Final.

Can't really be improved on even though he's concentrating on other matters.....probably.
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20-11-2019, 00:23   #3755
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On to a bad one here, lads.

I’ve heard people posting about what happens after eating a bag of cashews. Discoloured and “mottled” logs. But logs none the less.

Wasn’t really paying attention and gobbled down a whole bag of brazil nuts. Wasn’t a very big bag but coupled with my pasta dinner and brown bread “tea” I guess I expected something similar.

Not even close. It’s past midnight and I’m still sat here with my arse spitting out dry crumbs. Every so often I’ll go in for a clean, even having to “tease out” some stubborn desiccated nut from just inside the door.

Just when I think it’s safe to go I get another rumble and the whole chewed up mess starts again. Fffffffssssssskkkk, ffffssskk, ffsssk, ffsssk and then a thin, airy, spitty, whistling fart.

Is there any “goodness” in these yokes at all? I feel like I’ll be passing little nuggets of them for another week. They’ve gone from bag to chew to the bowl and nothing seems to have broken down.

Maybe they were gone off, only found them in the press but you don’t expect this sort of effect. I’m, sorely, tempted to send in a letter of “complaint” but they might send me a box of them by way of apology.

A nasty, dry, affair.

Last edited by EmmetSpiceland; 20-11-2019 at 00:32.
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20-11-2019, 00:34   #3756
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Those whistling farts sound interesting. In the old days, they could have become a circus act.
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20-11-2019, 00:40   #3757
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Those whistling farts sound interesting. In the old days, they could have become a circus act.
The nutcracker suite comes to mind.
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20-11-2019, 00:41   #3758
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Those whistling farts sound interesting. In the old days, they could have become a circus act.
The Irish “Le Pétomane” perhaps?

No, this isn’t on cue and, quite frankly, I’m not eating more than a couple of those ****in’ hell seeds again.
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20-11-2019, 00:51   #3759
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The Irish “Le Pétomane” perhaps?

No, this isn’t on cue and, quite frankly, I’m not eating more than a couple of those ****in’ hell seeds again.
I had to move several stacks of The Irish Press to get the Encyclopedia Brittania down. Luckily enough the page on LE Peto was intact, unlike others that seem to have been sacrificed to the bog gods. A fartiste no less. The regulars here should form a travelling troupe. Emmetspiceland and the dangle berries?
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20-11-2019, 01:20   #3760
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The Irish “Le Pétomane” perhaps?

No, this isn’t on cue and, quite frankly, I’m not eating more than a couple of those ****in’ hell seeds again.
Don't get too caught up on the foodstuff, you have discovered a potential that might excel with careful nurturing.

The Arts Council goes crazy for this sort of thing.

Can you manage the first few notes of The Derry Air?

Last edited by NeinNeinNein; 20-11-2019 at 01:24.
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20-11-2019, 17:18   #3761
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Don't you mean "The Arse Council" ?


Some great headlines on that rather disappointing BBC story about the teflon jacks (50 flushes? More like one weekend for a Guinness drinker, but I digress) :

Water bill 'too expensive' to flush toilet
Nothing wrong with letting the yellow mellow. Think of it as saving the planet, one pish at a time.

Public toilets 'absolute necessity', politicians are warned
Someone tell Dublin City Council.

Porthcawl anti-sex toilet plans 'submitted in error'
Seems to me you'd have to be rather desperate to go at it in a public jacks, but what do I know.
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20-11-2019, 17:25   #3762
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Emmet we have been lied to about the benefits of fiber , you ever tried a pure meat diet, very rare, or uncooked red meats, for several months? your colon will thank you, I once had the following issue: impacted feces, but a change in my diet paved the way for a new me
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20-11-2019, 17:28   #3763
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Emmet we have been lied to about the benefits of fiber , you ever tried a pure meat diet, very rare, or uncooked red meats, for several months? your colon will thank you, I once had the following issue: impacted feces, but a change in my diet paved the way for a new me
If you told me it was raining i'd look out the window to double check
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20-11-2019, 17:28   #3764
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Emmet we have been lied to about the benefits of fiber , you ever tried a pure meat diet, very rare, or uncooked red meats, for several months? your colon will thank you, I once had the following issue: impacted feces, but a change in my diet paved the way for a new me
You have more issues than that, dude.
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20-11-2019, 17:36   #3765
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How's your tapeworm doing Andreas?
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