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Throwing away the chance that you had but didn't want...

24

Comments

  • #32
    debok
    Closed Accounts Posts: 814 ✭✭✭debok


    You should have took your cock out and helicoptered The shìt out of it in front of her while holding eye contact and saying how dyou like me now bitch


  • #33
    vriesmays
    Registered Users Posts: 1,570 ✭✭✭vriesmays


    Tell her you're not interested and when she asks why not say she's ugly.


  • #34
    368100
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,067 ✭✭✭368100


    FSO_Polonez wrote: »
    Thanks. Well, like I said, I didn't want to be overly mean to her. In most situations I'm a hell of a lot worse...

    You sound like an absolute treat


  • #35
    FSO_Polonez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭FSO_Polonez


    Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »
    Why do you not want anything to do with her? Is she dangerous or from a criminal family? Or is it simply because she’s not good looking or fat and you’re simply not attracted to her? Be honest.

    I just had a thought at that moment that going along with what she wanted to do was a bad idea. No, as far as I am aware, she isn't from a criminal family. I could easily have described her as attractive, but I wasn't going to go there. Like I said, my natural instinct at the time was to leggit.


  • #36
    FSO_Polonez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭FSO_Polonez


    vriesmays wrote: »
    Tell her you're not interested and when she asks why not say she's ugly.

    She's not ugly in the slightest, to be fair to her, so thanks but that isn't going to work...


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  • #37
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    FSO_Polonez wrote: »
    Also, if I keep acting like that, is it possible that she will eventually get bored, lose interest & move on?
    she will


  • #38
    Arghus
    Registered Users Posts: 14,327 ✭✭✭✭Arghus


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvbujX4hXOg


  • #39
    FSO_Polonez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭FSO_Polonez


    Arghus wrote: »
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvbujX4hXOg

    Wow, I had forgotten about that advert completely, along with Esat Digifone for that matter. Wonder is Uncle Dinny still reaping the royalties?

    Not quite how it was though. If I were that character I wouldn't have phoned at all. I would have "lost" the number well before that...


  • #40
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    FSO_Polonez wrote: »
    Wow, I had forgotten about that advert completely, along with Esat Digifone for that matter.

    Not quite how it was though. If I were that character I wouldn't have phoned at all. I would have "lost" the number well before that...


    You lead a fascinating life.

    I bet you keep your hookers number handy. :P


  • #41
    FSO_Polonez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭FSO_Polonez


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    You lead a fascinating life.

    In what way? Then again I guess whether I do or not would be purely subjective...


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  • #42
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    FSO_Polonez wrote: »
    In what way? Then again I guess whether I do or not would be purely subjective...
    You don't lead a fascinating life polonez.


  • #43
    FSO_Polonez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭FSO_Polonez


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    You don't lead a fascinating life polonez.

    Fair enough...


  • #44
    Elmer Blooker
    Registered Users Posts: 6,031 ✭✭✭Elmer Blooker


    How to make a woman fall in love with you: Ignore them, be stand offish, be aloof and act uninterested.
    How to make a woman run a mile: Tell them you love them madly and want to spend the rest of your life with them, send roses and chocs ....etc
    You'll get the 'its not you its me' pronto!

    All you romantics may think I'm talking bs but its not like it is in the movies folks!


  • #45
    FSO_Polonez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭FSO_Polonez


    Elmer Blooker wrote: »
    How to make a woman fall in love with you: Ignore them, be stand offish, be aloof and act uninterested.
    How to make a woman run a mile: Tell them you love them madly and want to spend the rest of your life with them, send roses and chocs ....etc
    You'll get the 'its not you its me' pronto!

    All you romantics may think I'm talking bs but its not like it is in the movies folks!

    I'm not so sure that the whole Hollywood thing does work in real life...


  • #46
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Elmer Blooker wrote: »
    How to make a woman fall in love with you: Ignore them, be stand offish, be aloof and act uninterested.


    I knew you were cheating when you didn't play the hand i dealt you.



  • #47
    Strumms
    Registered Users Posts: 24,800 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    OP, you sound like me, when I was about 16... I had zero confidence with girls on any level... but as an adult excuses will ring thin, now. I couldn’t give a monkeys, if they like me and I like them, happy days, if they don’t reciprocate attraction or whatever so be it... if you like her, ask her out,, she will say yes or no thanks, no biggie.


  • #48
    FSO_Polonez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭FSO_Polonez


    Strumms wrote: »
    OP, you sound like me, when I was about 16... I had zero confidence with girls on any level... but as an adult excuses will ring thin, now. I couldn’t give a monkeys, if they like me and I like them, happy days, if they don’t reciprocate attraction or whatever so be it... if you like her, ask her out,, she will say yes or no thanks, no biggie.

    I'm the opposite. I used to be very confident, but now I'm not. And to be honest, I don't intend making any effort to change.

    Excuses may wear thin, but I'm thinking that making excuses, lame as they may be, will eventually cause the other person to walk away.

    I could just be a d1ck, (and not in the stereotypical "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen sense, but just being a complete belligerent a55hole) which has been known to work, but in this case I decided that I wasn't going to do that. I do have at least some standards...


  • #49
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    FSO_Polonez wrote: »
    I'm the opposite. I used to be very confident, but now I'm not. And to be honest, I don't intend making any effort to change.

    Excuses may wear thin, but I'm thinking that making excuses, lame as they may be, will eventually cause the other person to walk away.

    I could just be a d1ck, (and not in the stereotypical "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen sense, but just being a complete belligerent a55hole) which has been known to work, but in this case I decided that I wasn't going to do that. I do have at least some standards...

    good for you..it will all work out in the end :)


  • #50
    FSO_Polonez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭FSO_Polonez


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    good for you..it will all work out in the end :)

    Hopefully


  • #51
    cannotlogin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭cannotlogin


    I can't possibly understand what she saw in you. Your behaviour us unnecessarily childish and really rude.

    How do you get to your 30s without being able to handle the situation better? Imagine if the situation was reversed, would it make to feel good.

    Could you not just have been flattered that someone found you attractive and had the courage to let you know and just nicely let her know you aren't interested.

    Then you post on the internet to tell people a woman hit on you once. Rollseyes


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  • #52
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    cannotlogin wrote: »
    How do you get to your 30s without being able to handle the situation better? Imagine if the situation was reversed, would it make to feel good.

    The thing is that most men in their 30s have spent time with a woman in a bar, being interested, considerate, bought her a drink or two, etc, and then she heads off with another guy without any kind of apology or anything.

    If we were talking about the woman's behavior in such a situation, excuses would be found. There are obvious double standards being shown in this thread.

    OP. Doing a runner was a bit much. Just apologize the next time you see her, saying that you weren't feeling well. Then, firmly place her in the friends zone. She'll get the message, and either disappear or stay as friends.


  • #53
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Deleted User wrote: »
    The thing is that most men in their 30s have spent time with a woman in a bar, being interested, considerate, bought her a drink or two, etc, and then she heads off with another guy without any kind of apology or anything.


    So ? My ex beat me....do i let that make me lower my standards of what i think i should offer in a relationship? Do i let it make me bitter and closed?

    How do you think that would work out for me? Not good.

    Do yourselves a favor accept the light or get lost in the dark.


  • #54
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Deleted User wrote: »
    OP. Doing a runner was a bit much. Just apologize the next time you see her, saying that you weren't feeling well. Then, firmly place her in the friends zone. She'll get the message, and either disappear or stay as friends.


    He doesn't really owe her anything. If you see her again ...just be kind don't embarrass her. She probably already has the message.

    Rejection isn't nice for anyone ..it probably wasn't nice for her either.

    OP i am sure you don't want her to feel bad about herself etc.


  • #55
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    So ? My ex beat me....do i let that make me lower my standards of what i think i should offer in a relationship? Do i let it make me bitter and closed?

    That's a really unreasonable comparison. We're talking about meeting someone in a bar. Nothing to do with an established relationship, or even worse yet, actual abuse being received or given out.
    How do you think that would work out for me? Not good.

    Do yourselves a favor accept the light or get lost in the dark.

    To be fair, you already sound bitter. Dating brings complications and bad experiences. We've all had negative experiences at approaches, dating or relationships. Get over it and realize that people are individuals. The next person you meet will likely be different... If not, then the problem is with you, or with the kind of people you go for, and you should consider changing your behavior/personality/interests to attract nicer partners.

    My first girlfriend cheated on me with multiple men, including a close friend. I don't assume that all women will behave the same way, nor do I assume that all friends will try to sleep with my girlfriend. I learned from it, and I haven't had a repeat experience like that. In fact, all my relationships since then have been really good.
    He doesn't really owe her anything. If you see her again ...just be kind don't embarrass her. She probably already has the message

    I didn't say he owed her anything. TBH, apologizing to her would be as much for himself as to do anything for her. He's obviously torn by what happened... apologizing would bring some degree of closure because he's finally taking responsibility for his action. It's also logical because they work in the same plant, and will likely remove any awkwardness in meeting later.

    Putting her in the friends zone reduces the chance that she will try again, since she didn't receive an actual direct rejection, and might hold some hope it might work again at a later stage.
    Rejection isn't nice for anyone ..it probably wasn't nice for her either.

    OP i am sure you don't want her to feel bad about herself etc.

    Or she didn't feel anything about it at all. The assumption is that she's a fragile flower who wilted because of his actions. She mightn't have cared in the slightest and just shrugged it off.


  • #56
    Elmer Blooker
    Registered Users Posts: 6,031 ✭✭✭Elmer Blooker


    Rejection isn't nice for anyone ..it probably wasn't nice for her either.

    OP i am sure you don't want her to feel bad about herself etc.
    She'll be ok, a bruised ego and 'am I unattractive' but a visit to the hairdressers should sort things out. Maybe a pair of new shoes ...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUH34iqK7cI


  • #57
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,730 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    Looks like you'll need to change jobs, i'd even suggest moving to a new country just to be sure you don't bump into her again.
    Burning down the place of work is a given though.


  • #58
    80j2lc5y7u6qs9
    Closed Accounts Posts: 957 ✭✭✭80j2lc5y7u6qs9


    OP good thread. what would you have done if you did like here? Would you still run away?


  • #59
    20Wheel
    Registered Users Posts: 728 ✭✭✭20Wheel


    FSO_Polonez wrote: »


    that I was oblivious. When she went back into the bar later on, she asked me if I wanted a drink. I said "hold on a minute I need to go for a slash". I headed for the men's room but instead exited by the back way & went to a different pub.

    As soon as I saw this opportunity, I had already decided that I was going to deliberately **** it up, but to do it in a subtle way so as not cause offence. Do ye think that I convincingly acted like a clueless idiot? Or was it obvious that I was trying to get rid of her? Also, if I keep acting like that, is it possible that she will eventually get bored, lose interest & move on?


    Should have gone with a dump.

    Anyway I think you'll be fine. Very sensitive to rejection the ol female ego.
    She won't try twice.

    Putin is a dictator. Putin should face justice at the Hague. All good Russians should work to depose Putin. Russias war in Ukraine is illegal and morally wrong.



  • #60
    FSO_Polonez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭FSO_Polonez


    Sara Rotten Zeppelin wrote: »
    OP good thread. what would you have done if you did like here? Would you still run away?

    I actually don't know


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  • #61
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    Deleted User wrote: »
    The thing is that most men in their 30s have spent time with a woman in a bar, being interested, considerate, bought her a drink or two, etc, and then she heads off with another guy without any kind of apology or anything

    This can also occur if we get our priorities wrong in trying to fend off what we perceive as a threat. Its a bit Like the lad who goes down under the feintest of challenges, instead retaining his focus and taking on the opportunity that was hand. And to make matters worse he didn’t even go down in the box


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