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Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Coming out later

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Comments

  • #32
    Ten of Swords
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,125 CMod ✭✭✭✭Ten of Swords


    Congrats :)

    Moderator: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender, Vegan & Vegetarian

    Category Moderator: Social & Fun



  • #33
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    Slow-starter wrote: »
    Really interesting and encouraging to read these posts. 34, going 35 myself. Only officially came out to people close to me last year. Finally comfortable with myself but still slow to tell people. Still scared of losing friends and family.

    I’ve been seeing a counsellor on and off since I started this thread and the first line of your post is what we have been doing the most work on, getting me to be comfortable with myself as a gay man. Second I still struggle with but something we talked about rings in my head constantly because it makes so much sense. That is by coming out you are not looking for a Hines approval but their acceptance of you. I’m still struggling to tell people but I’m going to tell a friend as soon as things calm down. Don’t forget the possibility your family know, I’m not sure myself but I’m assuming they don’t


  • #34
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,740 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Gael23 wrote: »
    I’ve been seeing a counsellor on and off since I started this thread and the first line of your post is what we have been doing the most work on, getting me to be comfortable with myself as a gay man. Second I still struggle with but something we talked about rings in my head constantly because it makes so much sense. That is by coming out you are not looking for a Hines approval but their acceptance of you. I’m still struggling to tell people but I’m going to tell a friend as soon as things calm down. Don’t forget the possibility your family know, I’m not sure myself but I’m assuming they don’t

    Families a lot of the time do know from working things out.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #35
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Families a lot of the time do know from working things out.

    Nephew came out just a short while ago to his parents. In fairness the extended uncles and aunts all had a fair idea. I was more worried about how his folks would react but they were troopers and gave him a huge hug.
    Asking his dad a few days later how his son was - “he’s a lot more comfortable in himself”

    Just hope others have such a positive reaction from family but know they don’t.


  • #36
    i_steal_sheep
    Registered Users Posts: 196 ✭✭i_steal_sheep


    First time I ever said the words "I'm Gay", I was 28. And that was out loud to myself. Then to others. Best thing I ever did. I'll just always regret not doing it sooner ... but everything for a reason and in it's own time. It'll be OK.


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  • #37
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    i_steal_sheep wrote: »
    First time I ever said the words "I'm Gay", I was 28. And that was out loud to myself. Then to others. Best thing I ever did. I'll just always regret not doing it sooner ... but everything for a reason and in it's own time. It'll be OK.

    Sorry only seeing this now. My therapist is really pushing me to do it.


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