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27-04-2021, 18:50   #31
pgj2015
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She sounds hot


Are you saying Biko can only fall in love with hot women?
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27-04-2021, 18:55   #32
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Shotgun job in my case.

Worked out grand though.
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27-04-2021, 20:08   #33
rn
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As the saying goes around here... She/He walked up the isle with nothing.... Walked back down with half the farm. Not unusual around these parts anyway....
My wife walked up the aisle with nothing and walked back down with a mortgage and half my negative equity! But that was the 00's for ya.
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03-05-2021, 22:01   #34
Potential-Monke
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I'd be of the opinion that a lot of people think they're in love and get married then, only later to find out it's not true love (whatever that is). I see the few comments on here of people still happily in love after 10+ years, but always with a comment about having loads of fights. I don't understand that. In my 2x9-year relationships, I think we only ever fought once or twice. I don't mean little disagreements, I mean actual shouting at each other but non-physical fights, where you may not talk to them for ages afterwards. Never understood that. And I couldn't settle down with someone where that's happening.

My parents had their 50th wedding anniversary in March. That's a milestone that will become rare going forward I reckon.
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03-05-2021, 22:19   #35
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I really hope the practice of settling is gradually disappearing forever. Surely most people must realise by now that being alone and finding value in other aspects of life is better than marrying somebody you're relatively indifferent to just to keep up appearances of meet the expected milestones society sets. I see people give out about tinder etc nowadays and how people have TOO much choice, get too picky etc . Well you should be ****ing picky, it's your valuable time you're choosing to spend together in a short life . Even if it's just dating, make it a good one, somebody you really enjoy spending time with. Or else what's the point.

My own grandparents really have stirred such hatred within me towards pressure on people marrying for the sake of it. They are typical couple of their time in Ireland, 60 years ago, marry whoever is presentable uncontroversial local girl/boy choice and marry at the soonest time possible. Then land yourself a clatter of children within 5 years of the marriage and even if you are unhappy you may put up with it because divorce is just off the table. They lived completely separate lives under the same roof for their 60 years together, barely spoke. What is the point of forcing that. They didn't even force, they just put up with it, no effort from either to make the situation more enjoyable and liveable. They didn't even fight really, just completely indifferent. May well have been pieces of furniture to each other. WHY. I could never understand it even as a child. What a way to spend your life. Depresses the hole off me

Last edited by bb1234567; 03-05-2021 at 22:23.
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03-05-2021, 22:34   #36
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Thankfully I am not married. I don't think I could cope.
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03-05-2021, 23:31   #37
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After being in a relationship in my 20’s where I settled I vowed never to repeat that mistake. I am now engaged to someone I truly love. We have more than love going for us.

If I was to rank my happiness levels as an adult. I am happiest now with my partner in our little family.
I was also pretty happy on my own after I broke up with my ex.
I was least happy with my ex. I thought I should try make it work for sake of my child. It was a mistake. Both my son and myself were far happier after the split.
Never settle folks.
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03-05-2021, 23:45   #38
cj maxx
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Settled. Worse .ever. mistake.
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03-05-2021, 23:49   #39
Hamachi
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Met my wife five years ago, married four years, two nippers under three. The last few years have been a whirlwind for sure.

Can honestly say that meeting my wife is the best thing that ever happened to me. Wouldn’t change a thing.
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03-05-2021, 23:55   #40
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Definitely think I got the better deal in our relationship, he's amazing

Found out I was pregnant shortly after getting engaged, but no way was I rushing it through because of that. If anything, it pushed the wedding further down the line because I want to actually look slim and rested on the big day. So will probably be about a ten year wait

Kissed enough frogs to know when I have it good. I love my alone time too. We both do. Just because you're happy with someone doesn't mean you aren't comfortable in your own skin. In fact, I don't think you can be truly happy with someone else unless you're happy on your own first. Or at least, it's more a form of dependence...
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03-05-2021, 23:59   #41
 
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Originally Posted by Potential-Monke View Post
I see the few comments on here of people still happily in love after 10+ years, but always with a comment about having loads of fights. I don't understand that. In my 2x9-year relationships, I think we only ever fought once or twice. I don't mean little disagreements, I mean actual shouting at each other but non-physical fights, where you may not talk to them for ages afterwards. Never understood that. And I couldn't settle down with someone where that's happening.
You'd be amazed. A close friend was in a relationship with a lovely fella, and she spent her whole time picking fights with him. She'd say all sorts to try to provoke him but he'd never rise to the bait. They didn't last long. She's now married to another fella, they've been together 15 years, and they absolutely tear strips of each other all the time. I'm talking screaming, roaring, punching holes in walls. And they're really happy together. I think it's incredibly messed up, but it seems to work for them.
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04-05-2021, 00:01   #42
threescompany
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Sounds silly but after just one night with too much drink & chatting in the pub, I absolutely knew I had met my soulmate. Engaged within 6 months & we are married 15 years with 4 kids. I’m in my late 30s. He’s a wonderful person & I feel very lucky. I had a long term relationship before him & I shudder when I think how I nearly settled. I’m sure plenty do.
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04-05-2021, 00:03   #43
Hamachi
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You'd be amazed. A close friend was in a relationship with a lovely fella, and she spent her whole time picking fights with him. She'd say all sorts to try to provoke him but he'd never rise to the bait. They didn't last long. She's now married to another fella, they've been together 15 years, and they absolutely tear strips of each other all the time. I'm talking screaming, roaring, punching holes in walls. And they're really happy together. I think it's incredibly messed up, but it seems to work for them.
That sounds more like an episode of the Jeremy Kyle show.

Whatever about the rest, but punching holes in walls...?
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04-05-2021, 00:04   #44
 
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Originally Posted by bb1234567 View Post
I really hope the practice of settling is gradually disappearing forever. Surely most people must realise by now that being alone and finding value in other aspects of life is better than marrying somebody you're relatively indifferent to just to keep up appearances of meet the expected milestones society sets.
You'd like to think so. But as a single woman in my 40s I still regularly get the looks of pity and the sighs and tuts from relatives at family gatherings (pre-covid obviously). And I know a couple of women who got married because they were terrified of being 'left on the shelf'.
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04-05-2021, 00:05   #45
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Sister in law married the most boring man I’ve ever met. She’s not much better. Married and had 3 kids within 4 years. Definitely settled for each other. I’m not even sure how they worked up the excitement to conceive.
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