what would a reasonable contribution be?

afterglow · 08-12-2019 2:42am #1

hi all
Just wondering please, living with family, in a room that isn't really a bedroom, and on a fold-up-bed, what would be a reasonable amount to offer? I know I live there, and obviously need to contribute, but just wanted a ball-park for what might be reasonable to offer in the way of a contribution
Thanks in advance

RacoonQueen · 08-12-2019 8:37am

I would say about 400? Do you contribute to bills? buy your own food?

afterglow · 08-12-2019 8:52am

RacoonQueen wrote: »

I would say about 400? Do you contribute to bills? buy your own food?

when I pay whatever I'm going to, then everything will be included, my contribution to shopping, bills, etc
I'm not going to be working for now, but going to apply for my benefits, blind pension and the others I can get, once I get my bank account sorted, which should be later this week, also just waiting to hear about my registration with the NCBI, which I need to apply for benefits. So not paying anything just yet
Appreciate your input, just good to get an idea

zerosugarbuzz · 08-12-2019 9:25am

afterglow wrote: »

when I pay whatever I'm going to, then everything will be included, my contribution to shopping, bills, etc
I'm not going to be working for now, but going to apply for my benefits, blind pension and the others I can get, once I get my bank account sorted, which should be later this week, also just waiting to hear about my registration with the NCBI, which I need to apply for benefits. So not paying anything just yet
Appreciate your input, just good to get an idea

What is your relationship with the family member, is it a parent, sibling etc? What is their financial situation and are they happy to have you living with them? All these factors are important. For long term success everyone needs to feel they are being treated fairly. If you are staying long term maybe NCBI could sort you out a bed, that fold up will do your back no favours.

horse7 · 08-12-2019 9:32am

I would recommend at least a 30% minimum up to a 50% maximum of your total income.

lesliescott586 · 08-12-2019 9:40am

Are you in a comfortable living situation. Maybe your first two months rent could go on some basics like a bed frame and a mattress. I think 150 pm is the max you should pay if you’re on social welfare. You need money to live and enjoy life, and to save for things like holidays/birthday and the future.

afterglow · 08-12-2019 9:44am

zerosugarbuzz wrote: »

What is your relationship with the family member, is it a parent, sibling etc? What is their financial situation and are they happy to have you living with them? All these factors are important. For long term success everyone needs to feel they are being treated fairly. If you are staying long term maybe NCBI could sort you out a bed, that fold up will do your back no favours.

hi
Parent my other siblings live there also, and they pay €70 pw
I'm at my grandparent's till after christmas, so have a bed to sleep on, for now

afterglow · 08-12-2019 9:45am

lesliescott586 wrote: »

Are you in a comfortable living situation. Maybe your first two months rent could go on some basics like a bed frame and a mattress. I think 150 pm is the max you should pay if you’re on social welfare. You need money to live and enjoy life, and to save for things like holidays/birthday and the future.

no real money no. no savings etc

splinter65 · 08-12-2019 10:16am

Is it a local authority/hap house? If so then your presence will mean that the rent will go up.
Your income will be €203 blind pension and €60 blind welfare allowance.
You need to consider €30 per week for rent and a further €20 for electricity and heating and bins. Are you going to grocery shop for yourself ? Will you be relying on them to use their car?

afterglow · 08-12-2019 10:44am

splinter65 wrote: »

Is it a local authority/hap house? If so then your presence will mean that the rent will go up.
Your income will be €203 blind pension and €60 blind welfare allowance.
You need to consider €30 per week for rent and a further €20 for electricity and heating and bins. Are you going to grocery shop for yourself ? Will you be relying on them to use their car?

the house itself, isn't rented.
No I won't shop for myself, just whatever money I give will include bills, shopping, etc. €50 pw would be fine, i just think €70 is a little bit much, only because I'm not working

hawley · 08-12-2019 10:52am

afterglow wrote: »

the house itself, isn't rented.
No I won't shop for myself, just whatever money I give will include bills, shopping, etc. €50 pw would be fine, i just think €70 is a little bit much, only because I'm not working

If you are trying to save to get your own place I'm sure they'll understand if you can't afford to give too much. It depends on how much money the people running the household have. Fifty is quite a small amount of money, if you can stretch to seventy you should.

zerosugarbuzz · 08-12-2019 10:52am

Have you asked your parent what they would like you to pay? I would not like to be in a position that I had to move back in with my parents or family. If I did I personally would contribute a bit more than was expected to ensure they knew I was grateful for them helping me out. What do you think yourself? People are guessing in the dark here.

zerosugarbuzz · 08-12-2019 10:54am

Sorry just saw your reply saying €50. What does your parent think of that and why so low?

splinter65 · 08-12-2019 11:06am

afterglow wrote: »

the house itself, isn't rented.
No I won't shop for myself, just whatever money I give will include bills, shopping, etc. €50 pw would be fine, i just think €70 is a little bit much, only because I'm not working

Without knowing the circumstances of the other occupants of the house, what the outgoings are (what is an average monthly heating bill for them, what is their average monthly electricity bill, how much do they pay for TV/phone/broadband package, how much for bins, how much per week for groceries all of which you will enjoy)then it’s impossible to estimate what your contribution should be.
I wouldn’t consider €70 too much myself considering you will have €263 per week income.

afterglow · 08-12-2019 11:24am

zerosugarbuzz wrote: »

Have you asked your parent what they would like you to pay? I would not like to be in a position that I had to move back in with my parents or family. If I did I personally would contribute a bit more than was expected to ensure they knew I was grateful for them helping me out. What do you think yourself? People are guessing in the dark here.

I am grateful, course I am
I think my mum would be happy with the same as the others pay, €70 pw.

Graham · 08-12-2019 11:27am

afterglow wrote: »

the house itself, isn't rented.
No I won't shop for myself, just whatever money I give will include bills, shopping, etc. €50 pw would be fine, i just think €70 is a little bit much, only because I'm not working

€50 per week would likely mean the other occupants of the house are subsidising you. While that's not unusual for someone living with a parent, only you/they will know if that's going to work.

afterglow · 08-12-2019 11:28am

splinter65 wrote: »

Without knowing the circumstances of the other occupants of the house, what the outgoings are (what is an average monthly heating bill for them, what is their average monthly electricity bill, how much do they pay for TV/phone/broadband package, how much for bins, how much per week for groceries all of which you will enjoy)then it’s impossible to estimate what your contribution should be.
I wouldn’t consider €70 too much myself considering you will have €263 per week income.

yes actually. I didn't realise I'd have that much, so that will be fine, perhaps even a little more than that

AulWan · 08-12-2019 2:46pm

You should at least match what your sibling is paying.

€70 per week for all your living costs including food from a tax free income of €263 is not a lot to pay.

Princess Calla · 08-12-2019 3:00pm

afterglow wrote: »

I am grateful, course I am
I think my mum would be happy with the same as the others pay, €70 pw.

Will she expect 140 when your sisters baby is born? From your sister obviously. Or will your sister still pay 70 after the baby despite using facilities (washing machine, dryer,hot water) probably 3 times more than the rest of you.

I remember your personal issues thread and seriously if you can stay with your grandparents please do. I know your parents don't want you doing that but a cotbed seriously isn't a long term solution, nor is living with a baby that's not your own

( I say that as someone who shared a room with a sister and her newborn)

afterglow · 08-12-2019 4:06pm

Princess Calla wrote: »

Will she expect 140 when your sisters baby is born? From your sister obviously. Or will your sister still pay 70 after the baby despite using facilities (washing machine, dryer,hot water) probably 3 times more than the rest of you.

I remember your personal issues thread and seriously if you can stay with your grandparents please do. I know your parents don't want you doing that but a cotbed seriously isn't a long term solution, nor is living with a baby that's not your own ( I say that as someone who shared a room with a sister and her newborn)

i would imagine it will still stay the same if I'm honest. I would like to stay here, but who knows

afterglow · 08-12-2019 4:07pm

AulWan wrote: »

You should at least match what your sibling is paying.

€70 per week for all your living costs including food from a tax free income of €263 is not a lot to pay.

point taken, but both my sister&brother work, and earn a lot more than I do. And I'm not on benefits for no reason either.

riclad · 08-12-2019 4:32pm

30 or 40 euros, you are on a low income .its good to offer something.

afterglow · 08-12-2019 4:40pm

riclad wrote: »

30 or 40 euros, you are on a low income .its good to offer something.

of course!
It would be completely out of order/unreasonable, to expect to live there without rent/bills
The idea of just paying one amount of money, and having everything included, is quite exciting to me, that's how I know I'm getting old I think!
thanks

Tiddlypeeps · 08-12-2019 4:46pm

afterglow wrote: »

point taken, but both my sister&brother work, and earn a lot more than I do. And I'm not on benefits for no reason either.

Is it because of perceived fairness that you think you should pay less or do you have some other financial obligations you need to use the rest of your income for?

70 a week really is very little to cover rent, bills and food. There are many out there that moved back home and are paying more to the household and get much less in return. Unless you legitimately can't afford it then I wouldn't push it, regardless of what anyone else in the house is paying or how much they earn.

If you can't afford it because of other financial obligations then you should discuss it with your mother, but don't frame it as being about what anyone else pays or what they earn, frame it about what you earn and what your current expenses are and hopefully she will accommodate.

AulWan · 08-12-2019 5:23pm

afterglow wrote: »

point taken, but both my sister&brother work, and earn a lot more than I do. And I'm not on benefits for no reason either.

One of my adult children stayed at home for a while when they were on benefits and 70 euros would barely cover the cost of having another adult to feed in the house. Unless you intend to cook and feed yourself separately? Take cold showers? Do your laundry at a launderette? Turn the heating off when you're at home alone? It all costs.

Don't be mean. Your parents are making room in their home for you. They don't have to do that.

jlm29 · 08-12-2019 5:28pm

afterglow wrote: »

the house itself, isn't rented.
No I won't shop for myself, just whatever money I give will include bills, shopping, etc. €50 pw would be fine, i just think €70 is a little bit much, only because I'm not working

You’re not going to be any cheaper to keep just because you’re not working. In fact, you’ll make their heating, electricity and food bills etc higher because you’ll be at home more.

Princess Calla · 08-12-2019 5:40pm

Infairness though both brother and sister are working full time jobs.

The sister is pregnant so bringing another person into the house while presumably still only paying 70 euro. She will also be on maternity leave so using much more electricity and food than before as she will be in the house all day. (the father of the child lives in another country so it's not as if she'll be spending time in his house either)

The OP has a disability, is on disability allowance. I'm all for equal rights n all but jesus Christ abit of compassion from your parents would be nice!

What % is 70 euro from their full time salaries and what % is 70 euro from a disability allowance?

AulWan · 08-12-2019 5:45pm

This is not about a percentage of earnings.

My adult child was on disability allowance too. Its 203 euro per week, and the OP will also have an additional allowance of 60 euro blind pension, so will not be short of money.

We're talking about 10 euro a day for all their needs, including all their food, heat, and a roof over their head. Anything less is just stingy, frankly.

Show me anywhere else they could live for so little.

bertsmom · 08-12-2019 5:49pm

Gosh â‚¬70 is very very little for a grown adult to contribute to a household. If you are receiving over the â‚¬200 mark I would at least offer â‚¬130 or so

SusanC10 · 08-12-2019 5:57pm

OP - without needing to go into details, how is your Mum financially? Is she comfortable or could she do with the money ? Because personally I do feel that matters.

I have a sister who has always lived with my parents and now my Mum only and in on Disability. She does not and has never paid anything nor should she in the opinion of our entire family as my Mum is very comfortable and does not need it. My Mum, I think, would find it odd to take money from her in their circumstances.
The rest of us have all lived at home as adults for various reasons and various lengths of times both as students and working and our parents would not take a penny.

I would personally also find it strange if I were living with parents and working full-time and was paying the same as my sister who had a disability.

afterglow · 08-12-2019 6:21pm

SusanC10 wrote: »

OP - without needing to go into details, how is your Mum financially? Is she comfortable or could she do with the money ? Because personally I do feel that matters.

I have a sister who has always lived with my parents and now my Mum only and in on Disability. She does not and has never paid anything nor should she in the opinion of our entire family as my Mum is very comfortable and does not need it. My Mum, I think, would find it odd to take money from her in their circumstances.
The rest of us have all lived at home as adults for various reasons and various lengths of times both as students and working and our parents would not take a penny.

I would personally also find it strange if I were living with parents and working full-time and was paying the same as my sister who had a disability.

Hi
Comfortable is not a word I would use to describe her no.

what would a reasonable contribution be?

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