View Poll Results: Is marriage worth it?
Yes 154 45.43%
No 185 54.57%
Voters: 339. You may not vote on this poll

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12-01-2021, 15:09   #31
Antares35
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Originally Posted by seamus View Post
Sure, but trying to be prepared for it, or even worrying about it, suggests that it's so likely that you may as well not get married.

I'm not under the illusion that nothing could ever break my marriage, but I consider it such an outside possibility that I spend no time worrying about it.
Being prepared for something doesn't mean you want or expect it to happen. Do you have life insurance? People put that in place to protect their loved ones should something happen. Doesn't mean they plan or want to die.
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12-01-2021, 15:14   #32
Mjolnir
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Originally Posted by SouthWesterly View Post
They are as valuable as the paper written on
Not true
The paper could be used for a contract thats enforceable and recognised in Ireland, so in essence its a horrible waste of paper.

Literally a pointless endeavour getting one as no court here will recognise it as having any legal standing.
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12-01-2021, 15:17   #33
Thelonious Monk
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Originally Posted by seamus View Post
Sure, but trying to be prepared for it, or even worrying about it, suggests that it's so likely that you may as well not get married.

I'm not under the illusion that nothing could ever break my marriage, but I consider it such an outside possibility that I spend no time worrying about it.
The last person I went out with was considerably richer than me, a couple of properties, very wealthy parents etc. If we had got married I'd have no problem signing something, not that I'd ever want anything but I would understand someone's worries about that kind of thing. You never really know anyone as well as you think you do, in my opinion.
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12-01-2021, 16:31   #34
Hyperbollix
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Originally Posted by Thelonious Monk View Post
You never really know anyone as well as you think you do, in my opinion.
And until you involve assets and cash, you don't know them at all!
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12-01-2021, 16:49   #35
Sheeps
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Originally Posted by Stan27 View Post
Is it worth it anymore?
Looking at it from mans point of view, but is there any real benefit for it, which is essentially an expensive party.
I know if things go bad and divorce happens, the men seem to get the bad end of the stick.
Obviously there are are a good lot of great marriages out there so it still suits a lot of people.

Just curious of people’s opinions ?
Tax benefit alone, yes it probably is to a lot of people.
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12-01-2021, 17:17   #36
Stan27
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Originally Posted by Sheeps View Post
Tax benefit alone, yes it probably is to a lot of people.
My delima is, with my gf for over 3 years, and currently building a house. Love her to bits and happy out, i really am.
But for a wedding/ marriage i dont really see the benefit.
Id have no major interest doing it, id just do it too keep her happy if push came to shove.
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12-01-2021, 17:21   #37
eviltwin
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Originally Posted by Stan27 View Post
My delima is, with my gf for over 3 years, and currently building a house. Love her to bits and happy out, i really am.
But for a wedding/ marriage i dont really see the benefit.
Id have no major interest doing it, id just do it too keep her happy if push came to shove.
Did ye not discuss this before you started building a house together?
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12-01-2021, 17:28   #38
Strumms
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Originally Posted by feelings View Post
If things ever go tits up in your marriage, the law here still favours women. Especially if there are kids involved. Husbands/fathers always appear to get a raw deal.
It does.. my cousin is living proof.

He married a girl who developed about three years into the marriage, a sort of psychological issue. She was an office manager, he was a restaurant manager. So not bad combined cash flow... they bought a seriously nice place after a big wedding....

With bills, sizable mortgage, a new child... the wife started going gaga... she was always a nicely presented lady but she started going mental... spending mental money on designer labels like Versace, Vera Wang etc...Sean had multiple sit downs and ended up having to blag money off his mates even my Dad to buy clothes. Proper nutsville. You’d call around to see him at 3pm on a Saturday and she’d be in a designer cocktail dress. NUTS.

After two years... he sought a divorce... he was accused of being married to his work, a bad husband and of course who benefits in the main ? Not him..
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12-01-2021, 17:30   #39
Rezident
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Yes marriage is great is you're female, when it is not perfect you can walk away at any time with the kids, the house, his money and his future earnings - you don't even need to give any reason.


Sadly marriage is probably not worth it for men anymore, family law in this country is significantly biased against men, hence the depressing suicide statistics. And then your kids will grow up without a dad so they are five times more likely to commit suicide, increased risk of anti-social behaviour, criminality, teenage pregnancy etc. and there is nothing you can do about it if one angry woman says so.



There is a 50% probability the marriage will fail and in almost all cases the man will be much worse off than the woman - you will lose your kids, your house, your assets, your mental health etc. Everyone knows it is biased against men but you would not believe just how biased it openly is. Suicide is a real option for many men in this desperate situation. Over a hundred Irish father will kill themselves (and thousands in the UK, where the situation is even worse) each year as they are not allowed see their own kids.



Maybe marriage worked a hundred years ago but it does not work for men in it's current state.
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12-01-2021, 17:37   #40
Rezident
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Originally Posted by Church on Tuesday View Post
This is why you get a pre nup.

Pre-nuptials have zero basis in Irish law, she will get your kids and your house and your assets and your future earnings, even if she has serious mental health issues and is completely unreasonable . I know of one case in the UK (an even worse family law system than here but somewhat similar) where the mother was a heroin addict and she still won custody. What does a man have to do to win? How many couples do you know of where the man came out of the divorce better off than the woman?



And the probability of this happening to you is around 50%. Statistically, it makes no sense for men to get married in Ireland anymore. Talk to some of the men who have been through it in Men's Aid etc. You would not believe how bad it is, and those are the ones that survived.
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12-01-2021, 17:38   #41
2012paddy2012
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Originally Posted by Church on Tuesday View Post
This is why you get a pre nup.
Not worth the paper it’s written on , unfortunate
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12-01-2021, 17:46   #42
FintanMcluskey
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Originally Posted by Marlay View Post
If the relationship survives organising a wedding it is definitely a good sign.
Usually it’s not the groom that causes the drama!

Haven’t heard of a groomsman being asked to loose weight to look good for the pics yet!
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12-01-2021, 17:53   #43
corner of hells
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Originally Posted by Rezident View Post
Yes marriage is great is you're female, when it is not perfect you can walk away at any time with the kids, the house, his money and his future earnings - you don't even need to give any reason.


Sadly marriage is probably not worth it for men anymore, family law in this country is significantly biased against men, hence the depressing suicide statistics. And then your kids will grow up without a dad so they are five times more likely to commit suicide, increased risk of anti-social behaviour, criminality, teenage pregnancy etc. and there is nothing you can do about it if one angry woman says so.



There is a 50% probability the marriage will fail and in almost all cases the man will be much worse off than the woman - you will lose your kids, your house, your assets, your mental health etc. Everyone knows it is biased against men but you would not believe just how biased it openly is. Suicide is a real option for many men in this desperate situation. Over a hundred Irish father will kill themselves (and thousands in the UK, where the situation is even worse) each year as they are not allowed see their own kids.



Maybe marriage worked a hundred years ago but it does not work for men in it's current state.
A 50 % probability the marriage will fail ? Where ?
Even for AH that's a bit off the wall.
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12-01-2021, 17:53   #44
flasher0030
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Originally Posted by FintanMcluskey View Post
People change drastically over the course of marriages.

Also getting a mortgage is a massive amount of stress for most couples

Often heard it said, when debt comes in the door, love flies out the window
Absolutely. Best comment here so far - "people change drastically over the course of marriages".

I know this might be controversial, but it's so true from what I have seen - when a woman has kids, it has a psychological impact. It obviously varies from mother to mother, but towards the extreme end - one minute you could be married to someone and having a fun loving relationship. Next minute she could be roaring at you for not putting on the lid of the toothpaste properly.
So basically, for the marriage to survive, the question is does the man live with this new scenario. And in most cases they will, because there is very little choice. There is a kid involved, and the law favours the wife.
So my advice is definitely don't get married. But even if you don't, and a kid or 2 comes along, you're still stuck between a rock and a hard place when things go tits up between the husband and wife.

Watch Marriage Story. Great movie. Cuts so close to the bone.
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12-01-2021, 17:54   #45
partyguinness
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Great for killing the sex life.
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