View Poll Results: Is marriage worth it?
Yes 154 45.29%
No 186 54.71%
Voters: 340. You may not vote on this poll

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12-01-2021, 13:23   #16
One eyed Jack
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Originally Posted by Stan27 View Post
Is it worth it anymore?
Looking at it from mans point of view, but is there any real benefit for it, which is essentially an expensive party.
I know if things go bad and divorce happens, the men seem to get the bad end of the stick.
Obviously there are are a good lot of great marriages out there so it still suits a lot of people.

Just curious of people’s opinions ?

An expensive party? You sure that’s not the wedding you’re referring to? Marriage is the relationship that happens afterwards, and divorce is what happens when that relationship ends. In between there are all sorts of good reasons for marriage such as the fact that it provides protection for the family in Irish law which isn’t afforded to unmarried couples, and if a couple decides to have children, marriage provides legal protection for them too that it doesn’t provide for the children of unmarried couples. ALL parties involved get the bad end of the stick in a divorce, there are no winners in that scenario, but you asked about the benefits of marriage, not the disadvantages of divorce.

Citing divorce as a reason against marriage is silly, it’s like arguing that because death is an unavoidable inevitability, people shouldn’t bother making a life for themselves.
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12-01-2021, 13:24   #17
Church on Tuesday
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Originally Posted by SouthWesterly View Post
They are as valuable as the paper written on
Still better than nothing, in any event you'd want to try to get your particulars sorted in the likely event the marriage may fail down the line or better yet, just don't get married at all until much much further down the line.

It's a long life, what's the rush?
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12-01-2021, 14:08   #18
topdecko
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It all depends on the context. If there are kids involved i would say it is a given that marriage is important due to the protections it confers on the family and the much easier path re: inheritance tax/CGT it creates regarding financial decisions etc. Also it is a commitment to your better half and this should not be trivialised.
If it is 2 adults who are not bothered and don't need the hassle then there seems little point in the endeavour.
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12-01-2021, 14:20   #19
martinedwards
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Married 28 years and still loving every second!
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12-01-2021, 14:21   #20
thomasm
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From a tax perspective, absolutely
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12-01-2021, 14:28   #21
Cienciano
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Originally Posted by feelings View Post
If things ever go tits up in your marriage, the law here still favours women. Especially if there are kids involved. Husbands/fathers always appear to get a raw deal.
If you're not married you have even less rights in regards to kids.
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12-01-2021, 14:32   #22
snoopsheep
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No kids and neither of us were bothered but the spouse element of our respective pensions made it a thing

We were married in twenty minutes, took the other two attendees (because you need witnesses) to lunch then hit the airport for a long weekend

tbh i dont understand the question and i dont understand anyone- man or woman- who confuses marriage with yknow making a relationship work
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12-01-2021, 14:42   #23
seamus
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If you're worrying about what happens when you break up, then you shouldn't be getting married IMO. It's something you do when you've already built a life with this person that you don't intend on leaving. It's not the starting point of building that life.

Same as pre-nups. I'll never really understand why people go to the trouble of getting a pre-nup. Just don't get married. Getting a pre-nup is in essence dooming the marriage to failure.

Aside from the implicit internal comfort from legally acknowledging my wife as my direct next-of-kin and family, marriage gives me the comfort that in the event something were to happen to me, there is zero legal red tape for my wife to have to try and unravel. Insurance companies aren't going to screw her over based on a technicality, the bank will not freeze our accounts, and Revenue are never going to come chasing her for a huge CAT bill.

Day-to-day being able to do joint tax returns is helpful and there are lots of other really small things where marriage greases the wheels. Like car insurance, schools, hospitals, kids passports, etc.
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12-01-2021, 14:50   #24
Church on Tuesday
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If you're not married you have even less rights in regards to kids.
You have no rights as a father full stop.
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12-01-2021, 14:58   #25
Thelonious Monk
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Originally Posted by seamus View Post
If you're worrying about what happens when you break up, then you shouldn't be getting married IMO.
You have to be realistic, perfect marriages can turn to sh*t over time, it happens.
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12-01-2021, 15:00   #26
FintanMcluskey
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Originally Posted by Thelonious Monk View Post
You have to be realistic, perfect marriages can turn to sh*t over time, it happens.
People change drastically over the course of marriages.

Also getting a mortgage is a massive amount of stress for most couples

Often heard it said, when debt comes in the door, love flies out the window
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12-01-2021, 15:01   #27
seamus
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Originally Posted by Thelonious Monk View Post
You have to be realistic, perfect marriages can turn to sh*t over time, it happens.
Sure, but trying to be prepared for it, or even worrying about it, suggests that it's so likely that you may as well not get married.

I'm not under the illusion that nothing could ever break my marriage, but I consider it such an outside possibility that I spend no time worrying about it.
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12-01-2021, 15:02   #28
lawred2
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Originally Posted by Stan27 View Post
Is it worth it anymore?
Looking at it from mans point of view, but is there any real benefit for it, which is essentially an expensive party.
I know if things go bad and divorce happens, the men seem to get the bad end of the stick.
Obviously there are are a good lot of great marriages out there so it still suits a lot of people.

Just curious of people’s opinions ?
with the right people it is...

most definitely

with the wrong people...

obviously not
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12-01-2021, 15:04   #29
lawred2
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Originally Posted by FintanMcluskey View Post
People change drastically over the course of marriages.

Also getting a mortgage is a massive amount of stress for most couples

Often heard it said, when debt comes in the door, love flies out the window
nonsense

debt is an unavoidable fact of life... unmanaged debt is a different story and can put a weak relationship to the test.
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12-01-2021, 15:08   #30
Marlay
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If the relationship survives organising a wedding it is definitely a good sign.
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