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Male Masseuse

  • 02-11-2018 9:39pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    I've been going to the same male masseuse for the last 3 months for a full body massage. I play a lot of sports and this guy is pretty strong so he gets into all the knots. He works out of a well know massage parlour in my city and is well experienced.

    In the first session he put a towel over my breasts while he massaged my stomach and shoulders. He then said do I want him to massage my full chest, under my breasts etc. I have no problem with nudity etc so said yes. He took off the towel and massaged my chest which included my breasts. At no stage did I feel anything sexual whatsoever about this. It was just apart of a good full body massage. Had another massage from him last month, same thing again and it was fine.

    This evening he gave me a full body massage again, towel came off my breasts again after he asked if I wanted full chest massage. Any who, for the remainder of the massage I could feel his erection anytime he moved against me. It was extremely uncomfortable! I did not know what to do.

    I said it to my friend and she was appalled about the whole thing. She said it is not right for a male masseuse to massage a women's chest like that. As I said up until the erection this evening I never felt like there was anything sexual about it.

    Anyone with similar experiences? I'm so annoyed as he really gave a great massage and my sports times are improving as a result. Would like to know others thoughts and experiences of male masseuse if any?


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,894 ✭✭✭Triceratops Ballet


    panda100 wrote: »
    I've been going to the same male masseuse for the last 3 months for a full body massage. I play a lot of sports and this guy is pretty strong so he gets into all the knots. He works out of a well know massage parlour in my city and is well experienced.

    In the first session he put a towel over my breasts while he massaged my stomach and shoulders. He then said do I want him to massage my full chest, under my breasts etc. I have no problem with nudity etc so said yes. He took off the towel and massaged my chest which included my breasts. At no stage did I feel anything sexual whatsoever about this. It was just apart of a good full body massage. Had another massage from him last month, same thing again and it was fine.

    This evening he gave me a full body massage again, towel came off my breasts again after he asked if I wanted full chest massage. Any who, for the remainder of the massage I could feel his erection anytime he moved against me. It was extremely uncomfortable! I did not know what to do.

    I said it to my friend and she was appalled about the whole thing. She said it is not right for a male masseuse to massage a women's chest like that. As I said up until the erection this evening I never felt like there was anything sexual about it.

    Anyone with similar experiences? I'm so annoyed as he really gave a great massage and my sports times are improving as a result. Would like to know others thoughts and experiences of male masseuse if any?

    That sounds very odd tbh, I'd get massages pretty regularly from both men and women and I've never had my chest massaged like that, the only time I've had any area that's typically covered with a towel massaged is my stomach. I'd be talking to the management of the massage place about it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 577 ✭✭✭mada82


    Haha. This will be interesting.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    That sounds very odd tbh, I'd get massages pretty regularly from both men and women and I've never had my chest massaged like that, the only time I've had any area that's typically covered with a towel massaged is my stomach. I'd be talking to the management of the massage place about it.

    He owns the place with his wife. I've had lots of massages too and never had chest massaged but in fairness most of those massages were in spas, primarily by beauticians. I googled it and apparently that type of chest massage is fairly common in Asian countries which is where he trained I think. That's what made me comfortable enough with it after the first massage as after a quick Google I saw it was fairly standard elsewhere in the world.


  • Registered Users Posts: 461 ✭✭silent_spark


    I've had full body massages and treatments in spas, here in Ireland. It's common enough.

    I would have found what you experienced uncomfortable too. I imagine these things can happen, but he should have been discrete or removed himself from the situation. Perhaps book your next appointment with another member of staff if you feel uncomfortable.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,921 ✭✭✭Reati


    Disclosure. I'm male.

    Anyway, I've friends who are female who have had this done in foreign countries getting massage on holiday. It's actually common enough some places but not much in Ireland.

    I get sports massages a lot as I'm fairly broke up from training and while I get chest massages I really can't see how a breast massage is a part of working out anything as there is little muscle but I'm not sure what kind of touch or where he is touching exactly.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,979 ✭✭✭skallywag


    If he had an erection he would have been most definitely aware of this.

    Perhaps he cannot be blamed for this in itself (I would not find the massage itself necessarily 'wrong' either), but he most certainly should then have went on to do his very best to make sure that there was no physical contact with said state.

    This sounds very off to me.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I get regular physiotherapy but never this type of Thai massage. I get my pectoral muscles worked on but it doesn't require a full breast massage you mentioned. I would be extremely uncomfortable with what you described and it's not a nudity concern. If your uncomfortable I'd suggest you change to a female massure or avoid this region. As per previous comments there aren't muscles through the breast tissue that would need 'to be worked out.'


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,894 ✭✭✭Triceratops Ballet


    panda100 wrote: »
    He owns the place with his wife. I've had lots of massages too and never had chest massaged but in fairness most of those massages were in spas, primarily by beauticians. I googled it and apparently that type of chest massage is fairly common in Asian countries which is where he trained I think. That's what made me comfortable enough with it after the first massage as after a quick Google I saw it was fairly standard elsewhere in the world.

    I'll add here that I've had my upper pectoral muscles massaged, but never my breasts not even on my travels to SE Asia (and I had a lot of massages there 'cos they're so cheap!)
    He should probably have excused himself if he found himself getting aroused and asked a colleague to continue the treatment or offered for you to come back another time


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Surely this is unwanted sexual contact? We're talking about rubbing an erection against an unconsenting client.

    Isn't that a minor sexual assault?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,768 ✭✭✭Odelay


    pwurple wrote: »
    Surely this is unwanted sexual contact? We're talking about rubbing an erection against an unconsenting client.

    Isn't that a minor sexual assault?

    That is way overboard. It’s an errecion, it happens. It can happen at anytime. It was inside his clothes, he was doing his job. That is all.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,921 ✭✭✭Reati


    pwurple wrote: »
    Surely this is unwanted sexual contact? We're talking about rubbing an erection against an unconsenting client.

    Isn't that a minor sexual assault?

    :rolleyes: ...Honestly? I've had female masseuses rub off me with their boobs when massaging me? Is that minor sexual assault?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    Reati wrote: »
    :rolleyes: ...Honestly? I've had female masseuses rub off me with their boobs when massaging me? Is that minor sexual assault?

    Or nearly every time I get my eyebrows done! Or my hair cut.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,894 ✭✭✭Triceratops Ballet


    chill out everyone!

    The question I have is why is he massaging her breasts at all, breasts are just fat, there is no muscle there to massage, and while it's normal enough to massage the upper chest where the pectoral muscles are, breast massages are not the norm. That's what makes it weird and questionable that he continued doing it while he had an erection. He should have just excused himself/ not massaged her breasts at all.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,921 ✭✭✭Reati


    chill out everyone!

    The question I have is why is he massaging her breasts at all, breasts are just fat, there is no muscle there to massage, and while it's normal enough to massage the upper chest where the pectoral muscles are

    As per my earlier post I'm totally with you on this. There is no real muscle in the area to sports massage. I would be asking him what muscles it's fixing up as you want to understand the benefit of it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,969 ✭✭✭✭alchemist33


    chill out everyone!

    The question I have is why is he massaging her breasts at all, breasts are just fat, there is no muscle there to massage, and while it's normal enough to massage the upper chest where the pectoral muscles are, breast massages are not the norm. That's what makes it weird and questionable that he continued doing it while he had an erection. He should have just excused himself/ not massaged her breasts at all.

    Male here and I agree too. Breast massage doesn't sound overly therapeutic, in the way that a sports massage is meant to be therapeutic.

    I'd also be concerned that if the masseur can't dissociate himself sufficiently from the massage that he gets an erection, he certainly shouldn't be massaging breasts. I work in healthcare and have had to things to both men and women that would be considered intimate - the professional mindset is that you're examining/treating something; they're not sexual organs. Maybe thisbman had an off day where he got distracted, but my alarm bell is ringing.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,921 ✭✭✭Reati


    Male here and I agree too. Breast massage doesn't sound overly therapeutic, in the way that a sports massage is meant to be therapeutic.

    I'd also be concerned that if the masseur can't dissociate himself sufficiently from the massage that he gets an erection, he certainly shouldn't be massaging breasts. I work in healthcare and have had to things to both men and women that would be considered intimate - the professional mindset is that you're examining/treating something; they're not sexual organs. Maybe thisbman had an off day where he got distracted, but my alarm bell is ringing.

    I'm in search and rescue and we of course have to do medical stuff. Good touch / bad touch is a very big thing in our training (coz johnny public loves making a good "outrage" video). This doesn't sound like good touch!


  • Registered Users Posts: 232 ✭✭Flibble


    From a lymphatic circulation/drainage point of view, breast massages can be very beneficial. I've heard of these massages happening often enough, although never had one myself.

    Personally, the erection thing wouldn't bother me too much if it was a masseuse I'd built up some rapport with, but if it's making you uncomfortable OP then just switch therapist. A breast massage should be conducted professionally, although we are only human and these things happen. Once he wasn't trying to act on it in any way, I personally wouldn't bother kicking up a fuss.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Odelay wrote: »
    That is way overboard. It’s an errecion, it happens. It can happen at anytime. It was inside his clothes, he was doing his job. That is all.

    Did you miss this bit?
    Any who, for the remainder of the massage I could feel his erection anytime he moved against me. It was extremely uncomfortable! I did not know what to do.

    I am well aware of what an erection is, and how it happens. Is your assertion here that he he was so wrapped up in his work he didn’t realise he was erect? There is a difference between keeping your erection to yourself in your clothes, and rubbing it against an undressed client , making her “extremely uncomfortable” .

    It sounds more like he either meant it as a sleazy come-on tactic, or was getting himself off in some way.


  • Registered Users Posts: 229 ✭✭guitarhappy


    I'm male. My wife was a massage therapist, we're retired now. I've had hundreds of massages, from males and females, straight and gay. I've had a lot of free massages from people she met in massage school.

    It's common knowledge that many, maybe most, male clients have an erection during massage. It's also common knowledge that clients fall asleep during the massage and might wake up at the end of the massage not really aware of having had an erection, to what extent, or how long they were asleep (me included). Mostly the therapist is focused on assuring a sleeping client doesn't fall off the table and get injured.

    Bodywork professionals see a lot of bodies, young and old, beautiful and maybe not so much, and a lot of human behavior. The client being naked is not a big deal to them. When her body worker girlfriends get together socially at our house, very often the table gets set up, the clothes come off, they work on each others various aches and pains, and it's quite innocent. Fun, but innocent - not the orgy you might imagine. They work with the body, it's not a big deal to them. It's a long expensive course of training and they have to be state licensed.

    She was trained to never touch the private area, though sometimes that happens unintentionally, and until recently they didn't do breasts​ except for specialists who had advanced training regarding pregnancy or lactation issues. Usually the client is fully draped with a sheet and isn't just buck naked in the open. That's because your body temperature drops and you can't get your muscles relaxed if you're chilled, as much as modesty. Proper draping is mandatory, you should never be exposed.

    That being said, the OP seems to be in a gray zone. It wasn't a client who had the erection, it was the therapist. Massage is tiring physical work and he should be focused on your health and healing and using a proper technique, not on his gratuitous pleasure. Did he work on the base of the breast/chest area or did he seem focused on the nipple.

    You have some options. If you're getting good service, but you're uncomfortable with that one aspect you could tactfully decline the breast massage. You could find a female massage therapist, even one time, and have a conversation about the situation. Maybe it's a one off thing, but I would look for signs he's exerting any other pressures​ or progressing in a direction that makes you more uncomfortable. Do you generally feel safe? Words matter. Phrases like "happy ending" , yoni massage, or asking for a date definitely matter.


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    as a man, the chances of getting an erection if receiving a message by someone I find even vaguely attractive is pretty much 100%. I'd imagine it would be the same if I was giving the massage! it an involuntary response. however if I was a professional masseuse and I was working on someone's erogenous zones I would be damn sure I was doing multiplication tables in my head and I would certainly ensure any erection was not touching the client and would certainly stop the massage if it got out of hand. in case ladies are not aware, a man knows full well if he has an erection, particularly when it is touching off something. this guy knew what was going on.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 898 ✭✭✭Schwanz


    As a male myself I can only be honest and say that when I touch a breast(s) I will get an erection.

    Just can't honestly say why any gal wouldn't be turned on by getting this done to them?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,894 ✭✭✭Triceratops Ballet


    Schwanz wrote:
    Just can't honestly say why any gal wouldn't be turned on by getting this done to them?

    The objective of a sports massage isn't to be turned on.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,921 ✭✭✭Reati


    Schwanz wrote: »
    As a male myself I can only be honest and say that when I touch a breast(s) I will get an erection.

    Just can't honestly say why any gal wouldn't be turned on by getting this done to them?

    Unless your into S&M and pain, a good, deep sports massage is the last thing to give ya the horn...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    Flibble wrote: »
    From a lymphatic circulation/drainage point of view, breast massages can be very beneficial. I've heard of these massages happening often enough, although never had one myself.

    Personally I thought the breast massage was really good from that point of view. He wasn't touching the nipples or anything. It was just under the breast and at the side and then sweeping down my chest. This area can get sore when you're wearing bra's all the time especially with sports. I swim a lot so it's very beneficial to have the sides of my chest massaged.

    Iv'e met the masseuse in the gym since this incident. Now I'm starting to think was it all in my head and maybe what I felt wasn't what I felt :confused: I think the breast massage thing just made me hyper vigilant about it all.


  • Registered Users Posts: 229 ✭✭guitarhappy


    Maybe most of his female clients know he's skeezy and are happy with that.
    P.S. he's not a masseuse, he's a masseur.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    panda100 wrote: »
    Personally I thought the breast massage was really good from that point of view. He wasn't touching the nipples or anything. It was just under the breast and at the side and then sweeping down my chest. This area can get sore when you're wearing bra's all the time especially with sports. I swim a lot so it's very beneficial to have the sides of my chest massaged.

    Iv'e met the masseuse in the gym since this incident. Now I'm starting to think was it all in my head and maybe what I felt wasn't what I felt :confused: I think the breast massage thing just made me hyper vigilant about it all.

    Maybe it was completely innocent and as a bloke, getting my hands on boobs will invariably lead to an erection. It was however at best, highly unprofessional that he did not do his level best to ensure that it did not come in contact with your person. He should have stepped out of the room until he composed himself. It's that lack of professionalism that would say to me you should find another masseuse.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,217 ✭✭✭naughtysmurf


    As a male who has enjoyed many full body massages over the years only in hotel Spa's, funnily enough only once have I had my full chest & stomach area massaged, right down to the pubic area but not intimate, was coverd at all times, she didn't ask, just went ahead, thought it was odd at first because I never experienced it before but it was absolutely fine & I'd prefer it in the future, if I was female, I'm not sure how I would feel, it depends on the person I suppose.

    As regards the erection, it's unprofessional in my opinion & he was getting a kick out of it obviously

    Maybe mention your massage experience (not the erection part) to his wife & business partner & see what she says


  • Site Banned Posts: 11 Pentatonic Intonation


    If you give a man permission to rub your breasts you can hardly be surprised if he gets an erection.


  • Registered Users Posts: 229 ✭✭guitarhappy


    If you give a man permission to rub your breasts you can hardly be surprised if he gets an erection.

    Maybe that's why the nuns were always cracking me on the knuckles with the wooden ruler.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    If you give a man permission to rub your breasts you can hardly be surprised if he gets an erection.

    Male doctors do breast examinations all the time and don't get erections. Perhaps it's because I working in the medical profession that body parts are not a big deal for me and I would have thought this extended to masseuseus who rub people's bodies all day long!


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