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11-01-2019, 12:56   #61
Muckka
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Originally Posted by Bigbagofcans View Post
We can blame Usher for his lyrics from 'Yeah' - "want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed"
We all know what happened to usher, turned out he loves to share the love....

Wasn't he involved in some controversy over a sharing his tokens of love with some poor misfortune....
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11-01-2019, 12:57   #62
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Also, tough crowd here today!
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11-01-2019, 12:58   #63
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Why are you bringing up my other thread.. you seem very caught up with the fact that I had anal sex! I'm not going over this again, I had slight trepidation about it which is natural but I made the decision to do it. You keep saying I din't want to do it but you're wrong, I would never engage in a sexual act I didn't want to do. I also wasn't doing it for his approval, I was doing it for his pleasure and for mine too. I'm not seeking approval from anybody. You really seem to have it in for me and I've no idea why.

I'm also not putting on an act in front of this guy. I'm myself around him just toned down a notch. What's wrong with that?

You find it disturbing that I had anal sex? I find THAT disturbing to be honest. I'm a stranger on an internet forum, my sexual life should not distress you.

You also implied that I act girly and vacuous... you really are way off the grid with that.
God almighty the dishonesty here at times. Did I say I find it disturbing that you had anal sex? Yeah of course I didn't. I said it was disturbing that you went ahead and did it when you *did* say at the start of that thread that you didn't want to. And that you were afraid he'd lose respect for you - for doing something he wants. That's crazy old fashioned.

But I gave you the benefit of the doubt - until this thread where you are changing the goalposts now but you did say initially that you feel compelled to put on an act because he'll like an innocent little girlie. So that adds another dimension of disturbing to the other thread now. Do you know the full meaning of demure? Because it's not good.
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11-01-2019, 12:59   #64
Bam Bam Mickey
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Originally Posted by Porklife View Post
Why are you bringing up my other thread.. you seem very caught up with the fact that I had anal sex! I'm not going over this again, I had slight trepidation about it which is natural but I made the decision to do it. You keep saying I din't want to do it but you're wrong, I would never engage in a sexual act I didn't want to do. I also wasn't doing it for his approval, I was doing it for his pleasure and for mine too. I'm not seeking approval from anybody. You really seem to have it in for me and I've no idea why.

I'm also not putting on an act in front of this guy. I'm myself around him just toned down a notch. What's wrong with that?

You find it disturbing that I had anal sex? I find THAT disturbing to be honest. I'm a stranger on an internet forum, my sexual life should not distress you.

You also implied that I act girly and vacuous... you really are way off the grid with that.
Don’t let some anons wind you up.
If everyone had no inhibitions and didn’t hold back with some people/situations, then we would see more psychopaths everyday.

After hours is just the place for said psychopaths to be themselves.
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11-01-2019, 13:02   #65
Bigbagofcans
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Originally Posted by Muckka View Post
We all know what happened to usher, turned out he loves to share the love....

Wasn't he involved in some controversy over a sharing his tokens of love with some poor misfortune....
I hadn't heard. Although I haven't heard much about him since the noughties!
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11-01-2019, 13:05   #66
Gimme A Pound
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Originally Posted by Bam Bam Mickey View Post
Don’t let some anons wind you up.
If everyone had no inhibitions and didn’t hold back with some people/situations, then we would see more psychopaths everyday.

After hours is just the place for said psychopaths to be themselves.
Everyone modifies their behaviour to some extent in various situations - of course, that has been established so the insults are pointless.

Feeling obliged to put on an act with the person you're supposed to be closest to though - that's obviously not healthy.
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11-01-2019, 13:05   #67
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Christ, next you'll be telling me to join a club, leave my partner and get counselling!
Zing!

There are certain conversations I'd have with other people rather than him, not so much because I worry what he'd think of me but because I know he worries and I don't want to dump stuff on him, it's not serious stuff at all.

But I mean at this point farting is basically competitive. I get a bit miffed if I do a good one and get no acknowledgment from him...

And youngwan seriously, don't be having anal sex if you don't want to! Don't be gauging "am I being myself? Is this behaviour ok?" solely by how it relates to whether or not it'll make men want to ride you. We all try and be our best selves for our romantic partners but it honestly sounds like you've taken it to an exhausting level. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO BE LOVED FOR YOU. Anyone for whom you feel compelled to act the direct opposite of what you feel is your unfiltered self is no good for you. And give the guy a chance, I'm sure his dick won't shrivel up and fall off if you make a dirty joke.
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11-01-2019, 13:14   #68
Gimme A Pound
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I know Porklife is gonna think I'm awful harsh but not as harsh as she is being on herself. Yeah counselling would be a good idea when your self worth isn't great.
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11-01-2019, 13:16   #69
BrokenArrows
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topper's hit the nail on the head here; there is always a context. There's always a filter of some sort.

I wouldn't talk to my parents the way I talk to my wife. I wouldn't talk to my friends the way I talk to my wife. I wouldn't talk to my wife the way I talk to my girlfriend.

Part of the beauty of evolving as social animals is that we unconsciously learn to tailor our approach to each person in order to maximise congeniality.

If you think about someone who's described as having "no filter" or who "says it like it is", you find that people treat them differently. Not necessarily in a good or bad way, but they tend to find it much more difficult to carry on a conversation with them. And people also find them exhausting to be around.

If everyone was like this, the world would be a much harsher place where it's more difficult to form relationships because you would find far fewer people with whom you could properly "gel". It wouldn't be some utopia of honesty where everyone was joyful and truly themselves.
Fixed that for you.
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11-01-2019, 13:17   #70
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Def different here. Never gotten a boner when my mates are around.
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11-01-2019, 13:18   #71
seamusk84
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Married 9 years. I am my most uncensored self around my wife and her with me.

It comes with time.
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11-01-2019, 13:18   #72
Naos
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Never understood it.

I am who I am no matter who Im with.
So you would speak the same way in front of an elderly lady as you would while having a pint with your mates?
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11-01-2019, 13:23   #73
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Originally Posted by Bigbagofcans View Post
We can blame Usher for his lyrics from 'Yeah' - "want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed"
I think there are plenty of men who want this. I'm just a freak everywhere and unwilling to change that
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11-01-2019, 13:23   #74
Deebles McBeebles
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Originally Posted by Brycen Black Refrigeration View Post
I know Porklife is gonna think I'm awful harsh but not as harsh as she is being on herself. Yeah counselling would be a good idea when your self worth isn't great.
You are being harsh, she started a thread on AH and now is being told to get counselling for her low self worth by someone who doesn't know her. I mean, c'mon.
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11-01-2019, 13:23   #75
ChikiChiki
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Originally Posted by Cee-Jay-Cee View Post
If my wife (of 11 years) heard me and my mates on a night out she'd probably divorce me.
Always funny when your on an agreed lads night out and one brings their gf along. The whole conversation and course of the night changes dramatically.
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