If Jeff Bezos was U.S. President...

its_steve116 · 06-08-2020 9:04pm #1

...would life be any different than it is under The Donald?

JasonStatham · 06-08-2020 9:18pm

Probably not. But I do think Bezos is a more competent businessman.

cdeb · 06-08-2020 9:19pm

That's like being a more breathable gas than Zyklon B

completedit · 06-08-2020 9:20pm

Donald J Trump is many things but thank god he is not a tech nerd. Bezo's can try to rebrand himself as a 'super villain' all he wants, he is a lame bald tech geek

banie01 · 06-08-2020 9:23pm

Voting rights would be included free with every Amazon Prime subscription.

Eduard Khil · 06-08-2020 9:26pm

Jeff would be conducting his dodgy dealings in public rather than the Legion of Doom Lex Luthor stylings of The Donald. I think everything business related would be Amazon backed if Jeff was POTUS. He probably would have done a compulsory purchase/takeover of Apple Facebook and Microsoft too.

Gold wouldn't be worth as much neither, the Donald sure has done a great job destabilising global business to inflate certain commodities.

J. Marston · 06-08-2020 9:27pm

Two years service in his warehouses would be mandatory starting at 14.

Eduard Khil · 06-08-2020 9:29pm

Airforce would be an Amazon drone the size of a 747

Gregor Samsa · 06-08-2020 9:30pm

There’d be an option for Americans’ Federal tax bill to come in frustration-free packaging.

Photographers wouldn’t be constantly waiting to catch his hair blowing wildly when getting on or off AirForce One.

“Alexa, nuke Saudi Arabia” will probably actually work.

Rodney Bathgate · 06-08-2020 9:32pm

Ambulances outside every workplace instead of air conditioning.

feargale · 06-08-2020 9:43pm

its_steve116 wrote: »

...would life be any different than it is under The Donald?

Not much. Go the whole hog. Make Bezos pope instead ffs. :rolleyes:

4068ac1elhodqr · 06-08-2020 9:51pm

J. Marston wrote: »

Two years service in his warehouses would be mandatory starting at 14.

Shortly after in 2022 he'd replace all warehouse apprentice staff with the self-learning ai-autobots (currently happening anyway).

Not long after this he'd replace all the folks in the Walmarts and MaccyDs with similar levels of automation, then look with much glee, at the end of year balance sheet displaying savings from human redundancy.

In mid July he added $13bn personal net worth in a single day on the back of Amzn share price and Q1 profits. Free ice-creams for everyone?

Beware however for Zuckerberg for 2024, the power to influence the 2bn fbookers of the world with tailored, persuasive ads. His VR projects might add a touch of subliminal vote for me rich media messaging.

topper75 · 07-08-2020 10:12am

cdeb wrote: »

That's like being a more breathable gas than Zyklon B

That reminds me... all those latte-sipping psueds who told us DT could be the next Hitler and start WWIII.

Hee hee. We are three and a half years down the line and he hasn't invaded a single country or built a single gas oven. Radical left? hysterical left more like it.

The charges of foolishness stood up OK. But what harm is a laugh now and then.

07-08-2020 10:17am

banie01 wrote: »

Voting rights would be included free with every Amazon Prime subscription.

And election promises would come with free 24 hour guaranteed delivery.

Same day delivery for top tier donors.

Icaras · 07-08-2020 10:26am

topper75 wrote: »

That reminds me... all those latte-sipping psueds who told us DT could be the next Hitler and start WWIII.

Hee hee. We are three and a half years down the line and he hasn't invaded a single country or built a single gas oven. Radical left? hysterical left more like it.

The charges of foolishness stood up OK. But what harm is a laugh now and then.

Coup in Bolivia, assassination of Iranian general?

randd1 · 07-08-2020 10:34am

topper75 wrote: »

That reminds me... all those latte-sipping psueds who told us DT could be the next Hitler and start WWIII.

Hee hee. We are three and a half years down the line and he hasn't invaded a single country or built a single gas oven. Radical left? hysterical left more like it.

The charges of foolishness stood up OK. But what harm is a laugh now and then.

If Obama had the same record, Trump supporters would claim Obama was a weakling for not displaying America's military might to the world. It matter not what Trump says or does to those that see him as a God, or at least a prophet of God.

None of which matters when Jeff takes over. Mandatory shaved heads for all men, and world peace (as we all become drones in the amazon army).

randd1 · 07-08-2020 11:04am

Blaaz_ wrote: »

I doubt people would vote for him

Whatever people might say about trump (good or bad),theres little doubt he has a personality,and by all.accounts v.good and personable to his staff/workers (except management)

None of which can be said for bezos though

But Trump wasn't voted on his personality, he was voted for his business acumen, his promise of massive tax cuts, and primarily the fact that he wasn't Hillary Clinton.

If Bezos turned around and promised that he had so much money that he would give every American without a job a job and €300 a week for it, he'd waltz in. The fact that he's so rich he nearly actually could would make that promise seem plausible.

People talk about black v white in America the whole time, in reality the only colour that really matters over there is the green.

Dravokivich · 07-08-2020 11:06am

If you want a wild ride out of it, just think about McAfee as president. The likes of Bezos thinks he's progressively furthering humanity (or at least tries to sell that idea). McAfee just wants to tear shít up.

randd1 · 07-08-2020 11:10am

Dravokivich wrote: »

If you want a wild ride out of it, just think about McAfee as president.

"My first Executive Order is that prostitution, drugs and minor assault are legalized.

The health budget has been split into 50/50, with the general health system receiving 50%, and the other 50% into STD treatment, abortion and free plastic surgery for young women.

Go nuts America."

Jimbob1977 · 07-08-2020 11:12am

He'd give 20% of the country's GDP to his next wife as a divorce settlement.

Ush1 · 07-08-2020 11:19am

Are you asking are they different people?

Hugely different backgrounds. Trump was born in to money, IIRC Bezos was born the son of single mother Cuban immigrant who was 17 when she had him.

He went from that to richest man on the planet.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 07-08-2020 3:41pm

topper75 wrote: »

That reminds me... all those latte-sipping psueds who told us DT could be the next Hitler and start WWIII.

Hee hee. We are three and a half years down the line and he hasn't invaded a single country or built a single gas oven. Radical left? hysterical left more like it.

The charges of foolishness stood up OK. But what harm is a laugh now and then.

He's talking about postponing the election. So don't worry, we'll have a lifetime of his fascism to deal with.

topper75 · 07-08-2020 4:25pm

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

his fascism

20th century fascists can only dream of what he achieved. He might not have got Mexicans to pay for a wall, but he got minority communities to smash their own shop windows and burn courthouses.

The poor Bohemian corporal had to get his own brownshirts to do this kind of dirty work.

Mr. T has no authority for postponement so Joe will be in there soon enough.

Change to our lives here? Nil.

ilovemuffin · 07-08-2020 4:27pm

Bezos would just move the entire national security infrastructure of the U.S onto Amazon Web Services (AWS) and probably try to build an e-voting system using blockchain tech. He's my favorite bond-villain tech nerd.

jester77 · 07-08-2020 4:34pm

Bezos and Trump are business men, neither would know anything about running a country. They should stick to running their business empires.

Guy:Incognito · 07-08-2020 5:11pm

completedit wrote: »

he is a lame bald tech geek

Thats all Elon Musk was too. But now he has hair.

c.p.w.g.w · 07-08-2020 5:16pm

Nyla Acidic Nachos wrote: »

Shortly after in 2022 he'd replace all warehouse apprentice staff with the self-learning ai-autobots (currently happening anyway).

Not long after this he'd replace all the folks in the Walmarts and MaccyDs with similar levels of automation, then look with much glee, at the end of year balance sheet displaying savings from human redundancy.

In mid July he added $13bn personal net worth in a single day on the back of Amzn share price and Q1 profits. Free ice-creams for everyone?

Beware however for Zuckerberg for 2024, the power to influence the 2bn fbookers of the world with tailored, persuasive ads. His VR projects might add a touch of subliminal vote for me rich media messaging.

The information Zuckerberg has available to him is scary

iamstop · 07-08-2020 9:19pm

I, for one, will welcome our new tech geek overlord!

JohnnyFlash · 07-08-2020 9:45pm

His government would charge you money to install a device into your house that could then be used to listen in on what you say, and tailor what they want to tell you as a result.

Capt'n Midnight · 08-08-2020 3:07am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

His government would charge you money to install a device into your house that could then be used to listen in on what you say, and tailor what they want to tell you as a result.

No they'd be free and mandatory.

He's even sending up his own fleet of internet satellites so everyone everywhere has no excuse not to buy crap on Amazon.

He's already getting billions from the govt to pay for rockets that haven't made it to orbit or anywhere remotely close. If he was prez he'd be siphoning way more. So far Blue Origins haven't gotten higher or faster than a WWII V2.

kowloon · 09-08-2020 3:48am

Citizen prime.

At least Bezos is a successful businessman. On the other hand, a competent supervillain might actually be able to get their evil done, Trump just fcuks things up.

If Jeff Bezos was U.S. President...

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