Introduce Yourself

shortstuff · 08-04-2010 9:33am

Hi Mairead,

I was adopted through SPG, they are very friendly and they will give you as much information as they have. I'm not sure how long their waiting lists are at the moment but they do the trace as quick as they possibly can for and they are excellent as replying to any queries you have regarding your tracing process, i've always found them to be so anyway. Good Luck with your search.

Tan.

Heatherward · 09-04-2010 12:54am

Kolodny wrote: »

Hi

I'm not adopted myself but out there somewhere I have an older half-sister (my mum's first child) who was adopted who I've never met. My mum has not had any contact with her since the adoption and doesn't talk about it much as I think it's a very painful memory for her (I only found out when I was 15). I always been quite curious to know what my half-sister is like and have often wondered if she will ever try to find my mum. It would be nice to meet her one day.

Hi i am not long on this thread and look everyday to seek info and follow other peoples stories. I can understand your mothers pain and her difficulty to discuss this have you managed to further your search, or find any more info...hope you reach a happy ending

Honestbutevil · 09-04-2010 11:58am

Hi
I'm 24 and I was adopted in Dublin in 1986. I've only just started the tracing ball rolling. I've got a meeting in August with PACT so I'm interested to know what to expect from the meeting and how PACT handle tracing in general.
I've been thinking of trying to trace bio mum for a while but only very recently actually did something about it.

Heatherward · 09-04-2010 9:51pm

Hi honestbutevil ... great name!

My search is actually through Pact and I have had my initial meeting just a couple of weeks ago. Wow I received a report of non-identifying info which told me my mothers christian name my fathers christian name their ages, info on my mothers family i.e. how many siblings she had, what her father did for a living. The hospital I was born in what I weighed (which after 42 years was incredible). Info about how I went back to the home with my mother and stayed there with her for nearly two months (was there a bond?) the date she signed the final papers and that she seemed upset.

I found this meeting to be incredible the lady that I had it with was like talking to my mum very easy going. She has now gone away to do a search for my mothers birth cert they are not allowed to give you your original birth cert but from looking on other sites and this one that seems to be obtainable.

I wish you the best of luck and understand the excitment and the fear of this search.

Heather xx

Heatherward · 23-04-2010 11:48pm

Hi all,

Heard from PACT much quicker than I expected (message on answerphone cant believe i missed that call) message said that my mother is living in england they have a contact through social welfare (not sure is this is in ireland or england) and need my permission to forward a letter..not sure if this is to my mother or somebody here who has contact the saga continues ... heres hoping

shortstuff · 24-04-2010 2:49pm

Hey Heather,

I'm delighted for you, both that you heard back so soon and that they have an address and contact for you bm.
How are you feeling about it now that the ball is actually rolling and they have some info and contact details(even if the details are third party)?

Heatherward · 24-04-2010 9:30pm

Hi, not sure how im feeling excited, scared probably most of all fear of rejection. I have so many questions running through my head .. have I siblings, nieces, nephews etc. what if she doesnt like me or i dont like her!! and on and on. Cant wait till monday to ring pact and find out more .. will let you know
Heather

jmbkay · 28-04-2010 11:39pm

I had a baby at sixteen and I wanted to have him adopted but my parents persuaded me to let them adopt him because they thought I would have regretted it. But, for many reasons, I regret them adopting him. Their intentions were good, but if I had that time again, I wouldnt do it. Sometimes you are doing children favours by letting them go. He is totally loved by my family and always fitted in and I love him but always felt I shouldnt have had him. It would take hours to explain it.

Gummie · 03-05-2010 1:48am

Kolodny wrote: »

Hi

I'm not adopted myself but out there somewhere I have an older half-sister (my mum's first child) who was adopted who I've never met. My mum has not had any contact with her since the adoption and doesn't talk about it much as I think it's a very painful memory for her (I only found out when I was 15). I always been quite curious to know what my half-sister is like and have often wondered if she will ever try to find my mum. It would be nice to meet her one day.

Hi, I'm 35 and was adopted at about 6 weeks. I've always known I was adopted and had a very positive adoption story. I was never interested in tracing my birth roots as I would hate to intrude in other peoples lives. I had my first child nearly 8 yrs ago and it was only then I started having these feelings of 'I wonder'. I think they started actually in the labour ward. I was so confident in how I would cope that it was a big shock to feel the anguish of contractions. I started thinking of my birth mother and how it must have been for her. I had a loving husband by my side and a lovely baby boy to take home. She probably had nobody with her. Anyway, a year or two later I happened to be a referee for my friend who was adopting. I spoke to the social worker for the case and she really encouraged me to start a trace. I said I'd think about it and decided to register on the adoption board and see what happened. That was I think 5 yrs ago. Jump to 3 weeks ago and I got a phone call from a lovely woman from the adoption board in Dublin telling me that not only is my birth mother looking for me but that I also have a sister looking for contact. Needless to say it seemed like a bolt from the sky but I am delighted. I feel that it's a natural path to take. I'm just wondering how you all coped with the mixed feelings? I was actually doing fine till this weekend but feel a bit of a wreck at the moment. Sorry for rambling

kathy finn · 03-05-2010 9:18am

hi gummie, congrats on finding ur birthmum and sister u must be sooo excited. i know how nervous ur feeling i met with some of my birthfamily back in 2007 and remember how nervous i was. just be yourself and after a while it all settles into a pattern of phonecalls and meetings. it,s just like making new friends, some u have more contact than others. go with the flow and enjoy.....kathy

Gummie · 03-05-2010 9:54am

Hi Kathy,thanks for the encouraging words. I understand that these 'upset' feelings are normal and that I just have to go through them. Both parties registered about 5 years ago and have only now been contacted. I rang the contact register last week as they said they were sending the paperwork to Cork but hadn't. They said sorry and would do it this week. My file was actually on the guy's desk as we spoke. It's just so weird. How long would you say the next step will be?

kathy finn · 03-05-2010 11:04am

hi gummie, which adoption agency is the file being sent to or is the hse looking after it. i can,t believe it took 5 years. kathy

Gummie · 03-05-2010 11:58am

Hi Kathy, it's the HSE South. I think I registered about 4 years ago and they said the other party registered about 6 yrs ago. K

kathy finn · 03-05-2010 3:56pm

hi gummie, i know the waiting time for the cork hse is 2 years, i would refuse to wait that long u have waited enough allready.
contact the adoption board tomorrow and ask them why they took so long in contacting both parties involved also tell them u want the hse in cork to see u straight away. i found when i was doing my search a little push with these people goes a long way.....kathy

Heatherward · 04-05-2010 8:21pm

Hi thought you might be interested to here how I have been getting on with PACT. Got a phone call from PACT this morning omg they have found my birth mother she received the letter from social welfare on saturday and was on the phone to pact at 9.00 this morning. She wants any sort of contact that I want letter, talk, meet whatever. I have siblings a sister and brother .. who have always known about me .. neices, nephews aunts uncles cousins who all know about me. It has been suggested that we both send a note with an up to date photo before we talk. Oh god so excited cant believe it. Also pact are very supportive in all of this. It will be well worth the wait.

Heather

The_Conductor · 04-05-2010 8:24pm

I'm thrilled for you Heather- its heart warming to hear of things like this. The very best of good wishes to you. Shane

Gummie · 04-05-2010 11:10pm

Delighted for you Heather. Keep us posted. Who are pact?

Heatherward · 04-05-2010 11:29pm

PACT are an agency who hold records for a number of homes that are closed. I have found them fantastic .. obviously because of the outcome!! Thanks for good wishes will keep you up to date as i go along xx

MaryMagdalene · 05-05-2010 9:54am

Brilliant news Heather - good luck and let us know how you get on......... I am newly reunited with my daughter and it is a rollercoaster ride.

GeturGun · 05-05-2010 9:22pm

That is fantastic news Heather. I love the fact that she was on the phone first thing on Tuesday, she was probably willing the weekend to go faster so she could phone.

I got my non-identifying info last September and after the initial whirlwind of emotion, things kind of settled down again and I have not done any more about it. I think your post may have just given me the push I need to start thinking about the next step, so thanks

Definitely keep us posted.

MaryMagdalene · 06-05-2010 10:19am

Hi Poet,

Are you interested in tracing? If so your Mother was extremely forthcoming giving her name etc so it should be easy using the tracing guides on this site. I have not personally used these so there are others far better placed to help/advised here.

If you are looking at the guides and need help/guidance or just a big hug start a separate thread and we will all be there to help and support you in what ever way we can.

jandm · 11-05-2010 7:16pm

To make a long short I am an adopted adult - found my natural mother in the early noughties and with information from her I found my natural father. Sadly he had passed away by that time but his family have welcomed me.
I don't have as much contact with my mother and half siblings as I'd like - I find I have to do all the running - but I consider myself lucky.
The Christmas card list is on the long side now though having so many aunts, uncles and cousins, both natural and adoptive

ab fab · 12-05-2010 11:29pm

hi all, we all seem to have the same stories here, i am currently trying to trace my birth mother, i appear to have become obsessed with the whole adoption thing of late after 30 years of it never crossing my mind, process very slow though

ab fab · 12-05-2010 11:33pm

thats brill heather delighted for you,a dream story. i truely hope it all works out. just as a matter of interest did you ask your mother why she had not signed up to the contact persons register????

Heatherward · 14-05-2010 12:46am

hi guys .... the dream continues, i received a letter this morning via social worker from PACT from my birth mother which i am sure she found very difficult to write. She enlosed two photos one as she is now and one i guess when she was about 20 omg i can see so much of myself not fooling myself - partner and kids think the same (so not wishful thinking!!) unreal. She told me a little bit about herself propably nervous writing but has the most wonderful warm face. The rollercoaster continues was so delighted to receive what i did obviously a bit emotional when i saw the photo but the rest of the day was ok...tonight omg thats my mother. Lads every step is as big as the one you have just taken and as scary as the one you might be about to take. Good luck to you all and dont give up. I'll keep you posted xx

NGibbler · 19-05-2010 10:31am

Heatherward wrote: »

hi guys .... the dream continues, i received a letter this morning via social worker from PACT from my birth mother which i am sure she found very difficult to write. She enlosed two photos one as she is now and one i guess when she was about 20 omg i can see so much of myself not fooling myself - partner and kids think the same (so not wishful thinking!!) unreal. She told me a little bit about herself propably nervous writing but has the most wonderful warm face. The rollercoaster continues was so delighted to receive what i did obviously a bit emotional when i saw the photo but the rest of the day was ok...tonight omg thats my mother. Lads every step is as big as the one you have just taken and as scary as the one you might be about to take. Good luck to you all and dont give up. I'll keep you posted xx

Hey Heatherward

That is brilliant you have recieved a letter and photos, I would be a bucket of mixed emotions . If you dont mind me asking do you know what agency delt with your adoption at the start, I am in the middle of tracing and my agency are useless so i am thinking of going to PACT ?

Any advice would be hugely appreciated

N

Heatherward · 19-05-2010 7:55pm

Hi, i was originally adopted from the bethany home in rathgar when i googled this i came across pact who hold the records for this home and others i think. Hope this helps and good luck
heather

LadyH101 · 20-05-2010 8:50pm

Hi guys! I found out unexpectedly when I was 12 years old that my mum had given her baby up for adoption when she was 17! It was not her choice as it was my grandparents to save social humiliation. My mum does not like to talk about it and i haven't spoken to any other family members.
She had the baby in Dublin in a convent and they took the baby away when she so desperately wanted to keep him. It was a boy and she said she named him however his name may have changed you may pm me if you want to know the name my mother gave. I'm not sure what the birthday is I think its around the 22nd of either October November or December 1983.
None of my family know im looking for him, maybe i shouldnt i dont know , i just cnt stop thinking about it! Any advice???

The_Conductor · 21-05-2010 1:27pm

LadyH101 wrote: »

Hi guys! I found out unexpectedly when I was 12 years old that my mum had given her baby up for adoption when she was 17! It was not her choice as it was my grandparents to save social humiliation. My mum does not like to talk about it and i haven't spoken to any other family members.
She had the baby in Dublin in a convent and they took the baby away when she so desperately wanted to keep him. It was a boy and she said she named him however his name may have changed you may pm me if you want to know the name my mother gave. I'm not sure what the birthday is I think its around the 22nd of either October November or December 1983.
None of my family know im looking for him, maybe i shouldnt i dont know , i just cnt stop thinking about it! Any advice???

Hi LadyH101-

If you read the trace documents (link here) it should provide assistance to you.

Feel free to pop back and ask any questions you may have.

Best wishes,

Shane

sparkles2009 · 01-06-2010 1:27am

Hi allMy daughter was given up for adoption 21 years ago, a decision that was taken out of my hands & I have never gotten over it. Now that she is 21 I was told by a friend that if I contact the agency they must tell her of my interest to meet & after that it is her decision. The agency are not getting back to let me know about this & I appreciate they are also considering the adoptive parents view so I would really appreciate any advice on this.Thank you

Introduce Yourself

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