"Money isn't everything"

lainey_d_123 · 13-01-2020 6:39pm #1

Has anyone ever said this who wasn't spoiled, sheltered and wealthy? It's right up there as one of the most irritating comments someone can make and riles me up every time.

The latest time was a friend of a friend saying it in response to our other friend mentioning possibly going for job change this year for more money.

I think most people with a normal IQ get that it isn't literally 'everything', but this phrase seems to come out of the mouth of people who think anyone who is motivated by money is materialistic and shallow. I have never in my entire life heard anyone who has struggled or been poor say anything like 'money isn't everything'.

I think people who grew up wanting for nothing simply can't comprehend how many basic things they take for granted are totally inaccessible to people on very low incomes. When they hear someone talking about 'money', they think in terms of disposable income - money to buy nice new shoes, or an expensive dinner, or a theatre ticket. They don't think in terms of a secure roof over their head, paying the bills or having some savings in case of an emergency.

As someone who grew up very poor and didn't start to make decent money until I was in my thirties, money represents freedom to me. It gives me options I didn't have before. If I'm having a bad time in my shared flat, I can leave and find another one without worrying about how I'm going to find money for deposit and first rent. If I get a sudden worrying stomach pain, I can go straight to the doctor without worrying about how to find the money. If I get an unexpectedly high bill, it's a minor annoyance rather than a major disaster. I see it as a security blanket and so yes, the more money the better, right up to the point where all your essentials are securely covered with savings in the bank and money to spare.

I've met people who say money doesn't matter and it's better to follow your dreams and I think without exception they have all had mammy and daddy funding them in some way and providing a safety net while they mess around doing their art or music or whatever. They scoff at people who choose careers for the money without even thinking that maybe some people really have no backup and nobody who could dig them out if it all went wrong.

What do you think?

jj880 · 13-01-2020 6:43pm

"having money isnt everything

not having it is"

Car99 · 13-01-2020 6:52pm

Money isnt everything but if you have money you have a better chance of having everything else.

TuringBot47 · 13-01-2020 6:53pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Has anyone ever said this who wasn't spoiled, sheltered and wealthy?

Here's another cliche, you health is your wealth.
Look at Steve Jobs... billionaire and no amount of money could save him.

But in more real world examples, if you had a steady job and didn't want a promotion/raise for the extra stress then money isn't everything.

PARlance · 13-01-2020 6:53pm

I know quite a few people who live by this motto, not intentionally or knowingly mind. Low paid, low stress jobs, have enough to get the 10 days in Spain and get by on very little. No extravagances. Happy as p1gs in sh1te for the most part though.

Richard Hillman · 13-01-2020 6:53pm

"Mo Money, Mo Problems"

Notorious BIG

The Satanist · 13-01-2020 6:54pm

Money is wonderful, only lazy poor people say otherwise.

Church on Tuesday · 13-01-2020 6:55pm

If you don't have money you're not going anywhere and you're not doing anything.

victor8600 · 13-01-2020 6:55pm

Seems like you misunderstood the message.

Of course having money is not everything. You also want the power to protect yourself and your money. You want the good health to enjoy your money. You want people to genuinely like you and you are not sure if they like you only because of your money.

suicide_circus · 13-01-2020 6:56pm

well, its not everything.

a millionaire who is terminally ill is just as banjaxed as a someone who is broke who is terminally ill.

Car99 · 13-01-2020 6:57pm

PARlance wrote: »

I know quite a few people who live by this motto, not intentionally or knowingly mind. Low paid, low stress jobs, have enough to get the 10 days in Spain and get by on very little. No extravagances. Happy as p1gs in sh1te for the most part though.

10 days in Spain for 2+2 is €3000 minimum that's a stretch for most average wage average stress jobs.

Calhoun · 13-01-2020 6:58pm

I think that one person's experience cannot be used to define a definitive scenario when it comes to a commonly used term.

Your experience with it being used and the people using would not be the same as mine or others. While i can see what you mean that is one part of the people that use it.

I have experience where people making the decision and using the phrase would have been related to a big promotion that would have sacrificed family life. They made the decision to not take the money knowing it would more than likely lead to them loosing their job.

Not to mention all the theory out there on motivation ect that shows that money is a part of what motivates people but not the only one.

You seem to think people are being ignorant for using the phrase but have built up a prejudiced view of those that use it and the meaning of it.

ghost of ireland past · 13-01-2020 6:59pm

You haven't mentioned what money can buy that you find important.

You mention that money brings security. But, in modern Ireland, poor people are also secure in many ways. Housing is provided, as is health care, and sufficient money for most things.

So, people can feel secure about their future without having a lot of money, without having savings and without having a career. I don't think that's a bad thing.

I don't have much money but I'm not interested in making more. I don't value money in and of itself and I don't especially value what it can buy me. I am relatively content with very little. Some of the best things in life are free.

Havings low expectations is the best way to feel satisfied with life.

[Deleted User] · 13-01-2020 6:59pm

ive known plenty of ppl to say this who hadnt much and were happy with their lot

getting very upset about it would seem a strange reaction to me tbh

lainey_d_123 · 13-01-2020 7:00pm

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Here's another cliche, you health is your wealth.
Look at Steve Jobs... billionaire and no amount of money could save him.

But in more real world examples, if you had a steady job and didn't want a promotion/raise for the extra stress then money isn't everything.

But is it better to be sick and rich or sick and poor?

I have a long term health condition and it's a hell of a lot easier to manage when I can afford to eat well, go to the doctor when I need to and take a taxi rather than 2 buses and a long walk if I'm in pain/fatigue.

lainey_d_123 · 13-01-2020 7:02pm

ghost of ireland past wrote: »

You haven't mentioned what money can buy that you find important.

You mention that money brings security. But, in modern Ireland, poor people are also secure in many ways. Housing is provided, as is health care, and sufficient money for most things.

So, people can feel secure about their future without having a lot of money, without having savings and without having a career. I don't think that's a bad thing.

I don't have much money but I'm not interested in making more. I don't value money in and of itself and I don't especially value what it can buy me. I am relatively content with very little. Some of the best things in life are free.

Havings low expectations is the best way to feel satisfied with life.

I would hate to be at the mercy of a welfare state. It wouldn't make me feel at all secure.

lainey_d_123 · 13-01-2020 7:09pm

Calhoun wrote: »

I think that one person's experience cannot be used to define a definitive scenario when it comes to a commonly used term.

Your experience with it being used and the people using would not be the same as mine or others. While i can see what you mean that is one part of the people that use it.

I have experience where people making the decision and using the phrase would have been related to a big promotion that would have sacrificed family life. They made the decision to not take the money knowing it would more than likely lead to them loosing their job.

Not to mention all the theory out there on motivation ect that shows that money is a part of what motivates people but not the only one.

You seem to think people are being ignorant for using the phrase but have built up a prejudiced view of those that use it and the meaning of it.

Sure, but in that case, the family was already secure, I'm sure. They could otherwise not have made that decision. That's my point.

Massive difference between not taking a promotion and giving up a possible trip to Disneyworld and not taking a promotion when it will leave your kids hungry and you can't afford school shoes for them.

As I said, this viewpoint is only valid once you've reached a certain level of financial security. It's a luxury to utter those words, IMO.

golondrinas · 13-01-2020 7:10pm

Money isn’t everything
It’s the only thing .&#55357;&#56842;

lalababa · 13-01-2020 7:14pm

I've lived on 100 euro a week and sometimes less for many years. Because alot of the stuff that uses money does not interest me.. /buying ****/trends/outward displays of wealth. I have money, I could spend 1000 a week if I desired. Personally money is literally NOTHING to me. What matters to me are family/friends/generally being nice to people who are worth it.
I enjoy pastimes such as reading, walking, swimming. I find buying stuff to be unfulfilling.
That said I didn't have a car for two weeks and used the buses, I talked to alot more people alright, but the buses were sh*ye in Cork offpeak so was well glad to get the car back.

suicide_circus · 13-01-2020 7:17pm

the less stuff i have the better.

Calhoun · 13-01-2020 7:17pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Sure, but in that case, the family was already secure, I'm sure. They could otherwise not have made that decision. That's my point.

Massive difference between not taking a promotion and giving up a possible trip to Disneyworld and not taking a promotion when it will leave your kids hungry and you can't afford school shoes for them.

As I said, this viewpoint is only valid once you've reached a certain level of financial security. It's a luxury to utter those words, IMO.

Its a view point used at a certain point in someone's life in the scenario you talk of if the people who utter it are secure when others are not then they are probably wrong to use it, in the scenario I described it was right scenario to use it in and was more of a warning of the pitfalls of going all in for money.

We don't have a monopoly on experiences and being poor in the past doesn't give anyone the right to say my experience is more valid than yours.

One eyed Jack · 13-01-2020 7:18pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Has anyone ever said this who wasn't spoiled, sheltered and wealthy? It's right up there as one of the most irritating comments someone can make and riles me up every time.

...

What do you think?

I think you let other people’s opinions upset you far too much if a comment like that irritates you or riles you tbh.

The reason I say money isn’t everything is simply because I’ve seen what making money the sole focus of their lives has done to some people - it’s made them miserable. I didn’t grow up spoiled and it was my parents who were wealthy. I never saw a penny of it, and in a way I’m glad I didn’t, because I saw how miserable they were from it all. They didn’t have the freedom you speak of, because they were always fearful of losing it all, even though such fears were completely irrational as they were both employed. Even that in itself was a good thing because it meant I hardly had to spend any time in their perpetually miserable company.

I prefer to surround myself with people whose focus in life doesn’t solely revolve around money. I find talk of money and income and all the rest of it is just crass. I’m all for people bettering themselves and their circumstances, but doing so with the intent of earning more money to pay the bills is a fools errand. The answer to funding a lifestyle one can’t afford is easy - don’t. Then one doesn’t have to panic every time a bill comes through the door or lie awake at night worrying about putting food on the table or being miserable, bitter and resentful of what other people have that they don’t. It makes a person easier to be around, and it makes them appreciate other people more.

That’s the thing people who think more money is the solution to all their problems miss out on. That’s why I say that money isn’t everything, it comes and goes, it’s fine. It doesn’t motivate me, caring for other people is what motivates me and makes me far happier than any amount of money ever could.

Church on Tuesday · 13-01-2020 7:19pm

ghost of ireland past wrote: »

You haven't mentioned what money can buy that you find important.

You mention that money brings security. But, in modern Ireland, poor people are also secure in many ways. Housing is provided, as is health care, and sufficient money for most things.

So, people can feel secure about their future without having a lot of money, without having savings and without having a career. I don't think that's a bad thing.

I don't have much money but I'm not interested in making more. I don't value money in and of itself and I don't especially value what it can buy me. I am relatively content with very little. Some of the best things in life are free.

Havings low expectations is the best way to feel satisfied with life.

Being on the dole is, quite frankly, ****.

I've been stuck on it the last while, thankfully have something half decent sorted next month.

Glad it's there of course but it's only a lifeline.

Nobody on the dole, well nobody genuine, is living it up. Very little security with social welfare unless it's a lifestyle you want to remain and bleed dry I guess.

Airyfairy12 · 13-01-2020 7:19pm

Im far from privileged and same as you, didnt really start earning until my late twenties/early 30's. Ive toasted stale bread for dinner and ate it dry because I couldnt afford butter, I once used old Mayonnaise as a pasta sauce, times were tough lol.
That said, I still think money isnt everything. Id never sacrifice my mental health - long term - for a job I truly hated, if I hated my housemates, id stick it out if I had to and I have done.
Everyone is different and has different levels of resilience, tolerance and things that make them happy. Some people live very minimalist and restrictive life styles and are very happy.

lainey_d_123 · 13-01-2020 7:20pm

Calhoun wrote: »

Its a view point used at a certain point in someone's life in the scenario you talk of if the people who utter it are secure when others are not then they are probably wrong to use it, in the scenario I described it was right scenario to use it in and was more of a warning of the pitfalls of going all in for money.

We don't have a monopoly on experiences and being poor in the past doesn't give anyone the right to say my experience is more valid than yours.

True but what I mean is that some people use it indiscriminately without even stopping to consider the circumstances of the person they're saying it to.

If you know your friend is financially secure and they're weighing up whether to take on more stress to have some extra money, then OK. But a lot of people say it to people who are really hard up without even stopping to consider how much easier the person's life would be if they had more money.

lainey_d_123 · 13-01-2020 7:26pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I think you let other people’s opinions upset you far too much if a comment like that irritates you or riles you tbh.

The reason I say money isn’t everything is simply because I’ve seen what making money the sole focus of their lives has done to some people - it’s made them miserable. I didn’t grow up spoiled and it was my parents who were wealthy. I never saw a penny of it, and in a way I’m glad I didn’t, because I saw how miserable they were from it all. They didn’t have the freedom you speak of, because they were always fearful of losing it all, even though such fears were completely irrational as they were both employed. Even that in itself was a good thing because it meant I hardly had to spend any time in their perpetually miserable company.

I prefer to surround myself with people whose focus in life doesn’t solely revolve around money. I find talk of money and income and all the rest of it is just crass. I’m all for people bettering themselves and their circumstances, but doing so with the intent of earning more money to pay the bills is a fools errand. The answer to funding a lifestyle one can’t afford is easy - don’t. Then one doesn’t have to panic every time a bill comes through the door or lie awake at night worrying about putting food on the table or being miserable, bitter and resentful of what other people have that they don’t. It makes a person easier to be around, and it makes them appreciate other people more.

That’s the thing people who think more money is the solution to all their problems miss out on. That’s why I say that money isn’t everything, it comes and goes, it’s fine. It doesn’t motivate me, caring for other people is what motivates me and makes me far happier than any amount of money ever could.

You're exactly the type of person I mean.

You say 'funding a lifestyle' as if the only way someone would be struggling if because they're buying cars on finance and going on 3 holidays a year.

There are a lot of people who are working their arses off and just barely managing to survive. They can't cut down on expenses because they're already at the bare minimum. The only option is to seek more money.

I don't think money is the solution to ALL problems, but I'm struggling to think of how it doesn't at least help most of them.

[Deleted User] · 13-01-2020 7:30pm

In recent months I have found myself seriously struggling. I have not an awful lot to last me about two weeks. Due to circumstance I am a fair bit less off every month. Part of the circumstance was supposed to be a good thing, me entering in to self employment. Well. If only I could say to some marketing person "here is a pile of money go find me business". I am completely rubbish at websites and despise Facebook and well basically rubbish at this.

It really depends on your idea of 'everything'. For me I already have everything. Yes having health insurance would be great, a few weekends away, maybe a nicer car, new clothes, makeup. It would all be great. I'm not sure if it would, with the exception of the health insurance, add to my wellbeing.

As with most things it may come down to perspective. All things considered I am extremely wealthy.

lainey_d_123 · 13-01-2020 7:34pm

Persepoly wrote: »

In recent months I have found myself seriously struggling. I have not an awful lot to last me about two weeks. Due to circumstance I am a fair bit less off every month. Part of the circumstance was supposed to be a good thing, me entering in to self employment. Well. If only I could say to some marketing person "here is a pile of money go find me business". I am completely rubbish at websites and despise Facebook and well basically rubbish at this.

It really depends on your idea of 'everything'. For me I already have everything. Yes having health insurance would be great, a few weekends away, maybe a nicer car, new clothes, makeup. It would all be great. I'm not sure if it would, with the exception of the health insurance, add to my wellbeing.

As with most things it may come down to perspective. All things considered I am extremely wealthy.

So, as I said, 'nice' extras.

Are you worried about losing the roof over your head, being unable to pay the gas bill, etc.?

You say you'd like a nicer car, so sounds like you already have one.

As I said, there is a point at which all your needs are covered and then everything after that is a luxury, but that point is a lot harder to reach than a lot of people seem to realise. In Ireland, anyway.

[Deleted User] · 13-01-2020 7:39pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

So, as I said, 'nice' extras.

Are you worried about losing the roof over your head, being unable to pay the gas bill, etc.?

You say you'd like a nicer car, so sounds like you already have one.

As I said, there is a point at which all your needs are covered and then everything after that is a luxury, but that point is a lot harder to reach than a lot of people seem to realise. In Ireland, anyway.

I'm not worried about losing the roof over my head. I am worried about a large Bill that needs to be paid next month and two fillings and an extraction I need done.

Some of us struggle more than others. That is the way of life.

decky1 · 13-01-2020 7:41pm

money, money that's all we hear nowadays, people have forgotten how to be happy , they WANT so much cars , houses, [more than one] in some cases, do they forget that we can't take it with us all this keeping up with the neighbours, worked for a guy who is very very rich, every day he's out on the building site up to his neck in muck trying to make more money [how much does he need] money is his God, nice to be comfortable of course but life is very short, live a simple life and enjoy it.

Asitis2019 · 13-01-2020 7:45pm

Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me ...MEEEEEEEEEEEE

"Money isn't everything"

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