Boards.ie uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Click here to find out more x
Post Reply  
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
07-09-2019, 00:24   #1
OU812
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 4,903
Breaking news to someone that their history is a lie.

OP has asked me to delete this but I think the conversation generated is very interesting, so to move it to a more hypothetical position.
Almost every week now we hear of some family secret uncovered by a DNA test. Some of it is devastating, some of it a relief.

Does uncovering a secret from DNA have to be shared with the relevant people or should it be kept?

Last edited by pinkypinky; 07-09-2019 at 10:56.
OU812 is offline  
Advertisement
07-09-2019, 07:40   #2
Hermy
Registered User
 
Hermy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 6,792
That's a tough one.

All I can think of is would it be possible to bring up the subject of DNA generally and see where that goes. Maybe there are examples from blogs you've read that you could tell him about. That general conversation might give you a sense of how he feels on the matter but also provide you with an avenue to discussing your own situation.

Last edited by Hermy; 07-09-2019 at 18:41.
Hermy is offline  
Thanks from:
07-09-2019, 08:56   #3
Johnboy1951
Registered User
 
Johnboy1951's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 11,781
Why would you tell him?

You seem to be concentrating on reasons NOT to tell him, what are your reasons TO tell him?

Based on what you have posted it is likely he would not believe it and then you and he have a problem for whatever time he has left.
Johnboy1951 is offline  
(3) thanks from:
07-09-2019, 10:18   #4
pinkypinky
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,851
Good advice from Hermy there.

But as moderator, I want to point out that none of us are (openly) therapists and we can't give qualified advice here.

You know the man.
Think about what he will gain or lose from it.
pinkypinky is offline  
Thanks from:
07-09-2019, 10:23   #5
OU812
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 4,903
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkypinky View Post
Good advice from Hermy there.

But as moderator, I want to point out that none of us are (openly) therapists and we can't give qualified advice here.

You know the man.
Think about what he will gain or lose from it.

Well the reason to tell him and what he’ll gain from it is he can perhaps let the grudge go and be more at peace with himself.

Of course there’s always the likelihood that it will cause a bigger issue for him.

Ok thanks folks.

Could someone delete this thread please?
OU812 is offline  
(2) thanks from:
Advertisement
07-09-2019, 10:30   #6
banie01
Registered User
 
banie01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,120
Content snipped to protect the OP's original query.

The summary of Banie01's helpful post was "don't open the can of worms, discuss it later when the most relevant person is dead".

Last edited by pinkypinky; 07-09-2019 at 10:57.
banie01 is offline  
Thanks from:
07-09-2019, 10:41   #7
mrslancaster
Registered User
 
mrslancaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 352
Content also snipped here for the same reason as above.

If the DNA revelation brings up a very close relative, does that make it more important to reveal the news?

Last edited by pinkypinky; 07-09-2019 at 10:58.
mrslancaster is offline  
Post Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Remove Text Formatting
Bold
Italic
Underline

Insert Image
Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text
 
Decrease Size
Increase Size
Please sign up or log in to join the discussion

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Share Tweet