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2020 Bride/Groom

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Comments

  • #362
    yourdeadwright
    Registered Users Posts: 20,506 ✭✭✭✭yourdeadwright


    Anyone getting married this month or September ?

    I have friends due to get married in the middle of September and they still have no idea how many they can invite,

    I fell terrible for anyone in the situation currently


  • #363
    ilovesmybrick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,117 ✭✭✭ilovesmybrick


    yourdeadwright wrote: »
    Anyone getting married this month or September ?

    I have friends due to get married in the middle of September and they still have no idea how many they can invite,

    I fell terrible for anyone in the situation currently

    Supposed to be the start of October. I think at this stage we'll cancel. The uncertainty and constantly changing rules has left us with no faith that even 100 guests will be allowed at that stage. The stress has become too much and I'm just sick of the thought of it after yesterday's announcement. We were going to send out invites this week, but there's simply no point anymore.


  • #364
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    ilovesmybrick wrote: »
    Supposed to be the start of October. I think at this stage we'll cancel. The uncertainty and constantly changing rules has left us with no faith that even 100 guests will be allowed at that stage. The stress has become too much and I'm just sick of the thought of it after yesterday's announcement. We were going to send out invites this week, but there's simply no point anymore.


    I feel for you so much, so sorry for everyone scheduled for this year. Weddings have been totally neglected by government and not even given an ounce of consideration. So unfair.
    I'm early spring next year and I'm not even sure things will be more certain by then.


  • #365
    customrifle
    Registered Users Posts: 415 ✭✭customrifle


    yourdeadwright wrote: »
    Anyone getting married this month or September ?

    I have friends due to get married in the middle of September and they still have no idea how many they can invite,

    I fell terrible for anyone in the situation currently
    We are the 1st of September, we sent out our invitations early July when things were looking positive so if we go ahead now we have to cut our numbers from 85 to 46 as the venue need 4 staff to get to the 50 number.
    We have an alternative date for October next year but we paid our venue and suppliers in full as we went but what's the guarantee they will all still be operating next October if covid is still rampant.
    I'm quite easy going and feel if this is the worst thing to happen in our married life then we are lucky but at the same time feel bad for my fiancée as I would have liked her to have her special day with close friends and family and also considering our numbers weren't big to start with.
    I'm just waiting to speak with the venue today to see what their take is


  • #366
    yourdeadwright
    Registered Users Posts: 20,506 ✭✭✭✭yourdeadwright


    cazzer22 wrote: »
    I feel for you so much, so sorry for everyone scheduled for this year. Weddings have been totally neglected by government and not even given an ounce of consideration. So unfair.
    I'm early spring next year and I'm not even sure things will be more certain by then.

    I don't understand why they haven't actually taken weddings into consideration and tried to do something just for weddings,

    Its a huge part of people life's, surely it could have been look at in isolation ?


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  • #367
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    yourdeadwright wrote: »
    I don't understand why they haven't actually taken weddings into consideration and tried to do something just for weddings,

    Its a huge part of people life's, surely it could have been look at in isolation ?

    I agree, totally. They have left the whole industry in the dark. Their should have been guidelines produced just for events such as weddings. It is impossible to plan ahead (which is vital for a wedding) without information.


  • #368
    ilovesmybrick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,117 ✭✭✭ilovesmybrick


    yourdeadwright wrote: »
    I don't understand why they haven't actually taken weddings into consideration and tried to do something just for weddings,

    Its a huge part of people life's, surely it could have been look at in isolation ?

    Well Martin was asked about weddings at the press conference yesterday and completely sidestepped it. I'm not overly bothered by the money that we'll lose on deposits, which is around 4 grand, I'm more annoyed at the lack of clarity. I would still be reasonably confident that by October the numbers will be raised. However, we have 60% of the venue costs due in a few weeks, and I can't fire out another 4-5,000 on a hope that the government will come up with some firm plans.

    I'm really not looking forward to the conversation with our venue. They've been so nice and helpful and are a small hotel. I feel really guilty about doing this to them, but we are simply out of options and out of time.


  • #369
    yourdeadwright
    Registered Users Posts: 20,506 ✭✭✭✭yourdeadwright


    ilovesmybrick wrote: »
    Well Martin was asked about weddings at the press conference yesterday and completely sidestepped it. I'm not overly bothered by the money that we'll lose on deposits, which is around 4 grand, I'm more annoyed at the lack of clarity. I would still be reasonably confident that by October the numbers will be raised. However, we have 60% of the venue costs due in a few weeks, and I can't fire out another 4-5,000 on a hope that the government will come up with some firm plans.

    I'm really not looking forward to the conversation with our venue. They've been so nice and helpful and are a small hotel. I feel really guilty about doing this to them, but we are simply out of options and out of time.

    Martin in his short few weeks seems like a disaster ,
    At least Leo seem to have some what of a handle of things and even if he didn't was better at spoofing ,

    I think its crazy they haven't address weddings ,


  • #370
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    yourdeadwright wrote: »
    I don't understand why they haven't actually taken weddings into consideration and tried to do something just for weddings,

    Its a huge part of people life's, surely it could have been look at in isolation ?

    I think the problem is that you can't do something just for weddings. From a safety perspective, the virus obviously doesn't distinguish between weddings, confirmations, birthday parties etc... the risks are all the same. I assume that's why their guidance simply refers to "indoor gatherings" as opposed to specific events. How can you say that a wedding is safe, but a communion for example isn't.

    That's not to say they shouldn't provide clearer guidance for organised indoor gatherings though. I wonder if they've considered numbers based on the size of venues. But again, any updates in that regard would naturally apply to all indoor gatherings, not just weddings.

    They seem to be leaving it up to the venues to come up with their own rules and different places seem to be taking very different approaches. I've postponed to next year, but when I last spoke to my own venue, they seemed pretty lax apart from the numbers. Whereas I've a friend who's venue is talking about colour coding each table, giving everyone at the table a sticker to wear and you have to stick with that group on the day and dancing in that coloured circle on the dancefloor!!


  • #371
    lisasimpson
    Registered Users Posts: 1,823 ✭✭✭lisasimpson


    ilovesmybrick wrote: »
    Supposed to be the start of October. I think at this stage we'll cancel. The uncertainty and constantly changing rules has left us with no faith that even 100 guests will be allowed at that stage. The stress has become too much and I'm just sick of the thought of it after yesterday's announcement. We were going to send out invites this week, but there's simply no point anymore.


    Our re arranged date is october original date was back in May. Spent a lot of yesterday crying which didnt happen earlier in the summer. we had hope at the beginning of july and gone now. Probably going with a cermony with immediate family only now. Its just hanging over us and im beginning to hate it now. Before yesterday we had a meeting arranged with our hotel.
    .a totally different conversation we will be having with them now. I feel so sorry for those whos business relies on weddings


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  • #372
    ilovesmybrick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,117 ✭✭✭ilovesmybrick


    lisasimpson wrote: »
    Our re arranged date is october original date was back in May. Spent a lot of yesterday crying which didnt happen earlier in the summer. we had hope at the beginning of july and gone now. Probably going with a cermony with immediate family only now. Its just hanging over us and im beginning to hate it now. Before yesterday we had a meeting arranged with our hotel.
    .a totally different conversation we will be having with them now. I feel so sorry for those whos business relies on weddings

    I'm feeling the exact same. There have been so many little squabbles and stresses over the past few months about this damn wedding that any sense of excitement has long evaporated. It has just been a constant stress. I thought we would have been fine with October, but its just been too much to deal with now. I don't want to reschedule, I don't want to start planning it all over again, I just want the thing gone.

    To be honest my preference would have always been just for a very small civil ceremony with a handful of people, I'm not one for parties or big fusses, but my OH really wanted that, and I think it's probably a bigger blow for her than myself, but I had gotten slightly caught up in it, especially as it was one thing to look forward to in this disaster of a year.


  • #373
    lisasimpson
    Registered Users Posts: 1,823 ✭✭✭lisasimpson


    O exactly we werent planning a big ff off day. Any excitment totally gone even himself is v down over it now... The new date had kept us going through march, april and may. I cant bring myself to go through it all again. I get to the stage where I feel bad about getting down about it as my OH knows someone whos in hospital getting rehab after contracting a v bad dose of covid


  • #374
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    We never wanted a big event either. Our original list was about 40-50, but that grew to about 80-90 just because the venue has the space and the OH has a large circle of friends. I'd be perfectly happy to go back to the shorter list of immediate family and close friends, but the main problem for us is that our siblings are stuck abroad :( It just doesn't feel right without them. I really hope the travel situation improves next year. Either way, we've decided we're getting married next year though! There's only so long we're willing to wait.


  • #375
    Pen Rua
    Registered Users Posts: 1,957 ✭✭✭Pen Rua


    We're due to have our religious ceremony in October.

    Our initial list was about 140.

    Once COVID hit, we brought it down to about 100 by omitting people in the USA that are not close family or friends.

    Over the weekend, we brought it down to 50 on the button. Our venue's advice/view is that the 50 does not include staff as they are not "part" of the gathering.

    The huge issue is travel. My SO is from the USA (has been resident here for years) and her family is still in the USA. As it stands, no one can make the two week self-isolation period. There is some hope her mother can make it, but that is dependent on work.

    We are at a loss of what to do. We do not know whether travel restrictions will alter (e.g. they can come in provided they test negative pre-departure and upon arrival) etc.

    Naturally, we do not wish to go against the 14 day self isolation period. Under the original plan, they were due in the country 7 days before the wedding.

    We have not asked any supplier about them. We are assuming that any supplier will cancel on us if we cannot verify that visitors to Ireland have done the 14 days.

    It's really, really hard.


  • #376
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Would people not just go ahead with the legal part and keep the celebrations on hold until restrictions end? Just thinking of the legal protections that come with marriage. I feel for anyone stuck in this limbo, it’s a horrible thing not to know where you stand.


  • #377
    ilovesmybrick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,117 ✭✭✭ilovesmybrick


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Would people not just go ahead with the legal part and keep the celebrations on hold until restrictions end? Just thinking of the legal protections that come with marriage. I feel for anyone stuck in this limbo, it’s a horrible thing not to know where you stand.

    I think that's what we're going to do. Cancel the rest but keep the registry office booking and go for a nice meal in a restaurant afterwards. That depends on the green list though since we have the added problem of living on the continent.


  • #378
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Would people not just go ahead with the legal part and keep the celebrations on hold until restrictions end? Just thinking of the legal protections that come with marriage. I feel for anyone stuck in this limbo, it’s a horrible thing not to know where you stand.

    We considered this, but then we thought we'd just end up planning (and paying for) 2 weddings. If we "just" did the legal bit, we started thinking - will we still want a meal afterwards with our close friends and family? A photographer? Dress/suits, hair, make up, flowers etc. It just feels like we'd end up planning and paying for a lot of things twice. Or we wouldn't be bothered doing a bigger celebration next year if we'd already gotten married this year.

    We'd prefer to do everything just once, with the legal bit and celebration on the same day. Regardless of how the day ends up next year...

    And nobody knows when the restrictions will end. At the beginning of all this, so many 2020 couples postponed to 2021 thinking they'd have their "perfect day" then and all 2021 couples felt relieved that they didn't get caught up in things this year. Realistically though, this thing isn't going away any time soon. I have no doubt that Covid will be around next year and continue to impact on weddings as we once knew them. However at least by then both venues and guests will be used to this "new normal" and we can just get on with it. It's the uncertainty of 2020 that's the killer!


  • #379
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    woodchuck wrote: »
    We considered this, but then we thought we'd just end up planning (and paying for) 2 weddings. If we "just" did the legal bit, we started thinking - will we still want a meal afterwards with our close friends and family? A photographer? Dress/suits, hair, make up, flowers etc. It just feels like we'd end up planning and paying for a lot of things twice. Or we wouldn't be bothered doing a bigger celebration next year if we'd already gotten married this year.

    We'd prefer to do everything just once, with the legal bit and celebration on the same day. Regardless of how the day ends up next year...

    And nobody knows when the restrictions will end. At the beginning of all this, so many 2020 couples postponed to 2021 thinking they'd have their "perfect day" then and all 2021 couples felt relieved that they didn't get caught up in things this year. Realistically though, this thing isn't going away any time soon. I have no doubt that Covid will be around next year and continue to impact on weddings as we once knew them. However at least by then both venues and guests will be used to this "new normal" and we can just get on with it. It's the uncertainty of 2020 that's the killer!

    That’s understandable. I think weddings as we knew them are gone for the foreseeable. I can’t blame people holding out in the hope they get the day they want but I think I’d it was me, for peace of mind I’d want to know I had the legal bit done and have all those protections in place. I suppose couples will have to adjust, it’s not practical to keep postponing but it’s hard to know what to do


  • #380
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    eviltwin wrote: »
    That’s understandable. I think weddings as we knew them are gone for the foreseeable. I can’t blame people holding out in the hope they get the day they want but I think I’d it was me, for peace of mind I’d want to know I had the legal bit done and have all those protections in place. I suppose couples will have to adjust, it’s not practical to keep postponing but it’s hard to know what to do

    Yeah, we've told ourselves we'll postpone just this once (baring extreme circumstances - that seems to have a whole new definition now though :P).

    We're ok with holding off the extra 8 months to get the legal bit done and celebrate in some way shape or form then too. We're also in the middle of buying a house and had a fair bit left to organise for our original wedding date in September when everything kicked off. I honestly don't think I could handle the stress of buying a house and all the last minute Covid wedding planning after the year we've had so far!!

    On the up side, I've made an appointment to look at wedding bands together this weekend :) At least we can take our time with the bits we have left now!


  • #381
    blacklilly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,687 ✭✭✭blacklilly


    We are due to get married at the end of this month having postponed from our original date in May.
    We had a guest list of over 200 which we reduced to 88 and further reduced to 50 as the restrictions changed.

    We really have kept such a positive mind frame through it all and have made so so many compromises but it’s just feels too much at this stage.

    We are beyond fed up with it, we are exhausted by all the planning, changing and considerations needed when choosing who to let go from the list.

    Our venue is now saying that we can only have music and bar open until 11 even though we have have exclusively booked our venue.

    I just want the day over and done with now


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  • #382
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    We didn't know whether to just do a witness only day or to postpone and honestly, once I decided to postpone I was relieved. It's impossible to plan any kind of wedding right now. Literally the night before your wedding Micheál Martin could just scupper all those carefully thought out (and paid for!) plans.


    So we postponed until next summer, and if it's like this next year with all the ever changing restrictions we are just going to elope with two witnesses and be done with it.


  • #383
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    blacklilly wrote: »
    I just want the day over and done with now

    I think most couples have this attitude now, which is a really sad way to be thinking about your wedding day :( I've always been very cynical about weddings, but with the amount of time effort and money that goes into the planning... you at least want to be able to look forward to and enjoy the run up to the day! Even if we all end up having a fab wedding day in the end, the whole experience has been completely tarred. It's horrible not being able to look forward to it. I'm paranoid that I'm going to wake up on the morning with a cough and have to cancel the whole bloody thing myself at the last minute.
    Neyite wrote: »
    Literally the night before your wedding Micheál Martin could just scupper all those carefully thought out (and paid for!) plans.

    It's awful, isn't it. Even the announcement the other day that restaurants have to close by 11pm - it's not clear at all if this applies to weddings, but a lot of venues seem to be assuming it is. So now you have couples who are/were planning to go ahead in the coming weeks, not only being told that they need to cut their guest list in half, but now also in a panic about what time they need to finish up at! The roadmap seems to be have been thrown out the window and they're just making up now as they go along... how on earth can anyone plan anything atm with so much uncertainty...


  • #384
    ilovesmybrick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,117 ✭✭✭ilovesmybrick


    woodchuck wrote: »
    The roadmap seems to be have been thrown out the window and they're just making up now as they go along... how on earth can anyone plan anything atm with so much uncertainty...

    I think that's the worst part. At least with the last plan there were definitive checkpoints and dates, obviously subject to changes, but since that was scrapped there's zero indication about what may happen next, or when. It would even be nice to have something vague, like if we hit X cases per week we can look into allowing increased outdoor gatherings, or if Y happens we'll need to close restaurants. At this stage I doubt if we'll even get back just to do the legal part.

    I'm living in Austria and they're following the Czechs and introducing a regional traffic light system, which changes based on the level of cases and lets you know what measures need to be reintroduced or brought back in place. It means there's a least a good indication of what's happening and what measures are going to be in place regionally. It's incredibly frustrating to see how things can be managed when a decent level of proactive planning is put in place, compared to the reactive measures coming from NPHET and Martin.


  • #385
    Billythekid19
    Registered Users Posts: 166 ✭✭Billythekid19


    blacklilly wrote: »
    We are due to get married at the end of this month having postponed from our original date in May.
    We had a guest list of over 200 which we reduced to 88 and further reduced to 50 as the restrictions changed.

    We really have kept such a positive mind frame through it all and have made so so many compromises but it’s just feels too much at this stage.

    We are beyond fed up with it, we are exhausted by all the planning, changing and considerations needed when choosing who to let go from the list.

    Our venue is now saying that we can only have music and bar open until 11 even though we have have exclusively booked our venue.

    I just want the day over and done with now

    Was it a hotel that said the bar has to be closed by 11? Are you allowed a band?


  • #386
    redmond08
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭redmond08


    Me & my fiancée are getting married on the 12th of September. This will be our 3rd date! Our original number was around 150, but if it's only 50 people, we're still going ahead. We have hope that by the the 31st of August, we will have it to 100, but it's not looking good. I feel the exact same as everyone here, the excitement has gone out of it. But I always try to remember, the most important thing about the wedding is the marriage. We can all have a bigger party later on down the line!


  • #387
    Weepsie
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 19,725 Mod ✭✭✭✭Weepsie


    I'm due to be married in November. We've postponed it however for a few months in hope rather than expectation. Our venue has been superb, really really superb. They're not taking bookings until every wedding this year is either done or rescheduled and we felt very safe when visiting.

    We're still going to do the legal marriage if we can and have a small number of close friends/family for food and drinks.

    We don't know where in Dublin we can actually have a ceremony for only 25-30 people though as some of the usual suspects are not doing them or are still charging as if it's a 100 person ceremony


  • #388
    nikpmup
    Registered Users Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭nikpmup


    Just this morning we rang our hotel and pushed back to August 2021. We have the registry office planned for this September and we'll be going for a meal in a restaurant afterwards, with about 14 friends & family. We were originally going to do the party/wedding day in April but we sent out an anonymous survey monkey to our guests, and about 25% replied that they would not attend in April. The hotel have been very flexible and thankfully our band and photographer both have availability on the new date. It is what it is. I'd rather postpone; it's just not knowing if even next August is a runner that has me worried.


  • #389
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    Weepsie wrote: »
    We don't know where in Dublin we can actually have a ceremony for only 25-30 people though as some of the usual suspects are not doing them or are still charging as if it's a 100 person ceremony

    That was one of my (many) concerns too if we decided to just go ahead with the legal bit this year. I think it's straight forward enough if you were already booked in for the registry office, but we weren't. So there's the problem of finding a venue to actually get married and of course the extra cost associated with it.

    Some ideas...
    - Have you tried contacting the registry office to see if they have any slots available?
    - Would a church wedding be an option for you?
    - Assuming you already have a celebrant, can they give you any advice about locations where small wedding ceremonies are currently going ahead?
    - If you're open to a spiritualist wedding, I've seen pictures posted recently of weddings in their Dublin office.


  • #390
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    nikpmup wrote: »
    Just this morning we rang our hotel and pushed back to August 2021. We have the registry office planned for this September and we'll be going for a meal in a restaurant afterwards, with about 14 friends & family. We were originally going to do the party/wedding day in April but we sent out an anonymous survey monkey to our guests, and about 25% replied that they would not attend in April. The hotel have been very flexible and thankfully our band and photographer both have availability on the new date. It is what it is. I'd rather postpone; it's just not knowing if even next August is a runner that has me worried.

    Wow... April 2021? We're May 2021 :/ Do you have a lot of guests overseas and/or in vulnerable groups?

    I was thinking of an anonymous survey too when we were still on the fence about our original date in Sept 2020. It would be horrible to decide to go ahead, start getting excited again, send out invites etc only to have an even bigger dropout than you expected.


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  • #391
    Weepsie
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 19,725 Mod ✭✭✭✭Weepsie


    woodchuck wrote: »
    That was one of my (many) concerns too if we decided to just go ahead with the legal bit this year. I think it's straight forward enough if you were already booked in for the registry office, but we weren't. So there's the problem of finding a venue to actually get married and of course the extra cost associated with it.

    Some ideas...
    - Have you tried contacting the registry office to see if they have any slots available?
    - Would a church wedding be an option for you?
    - Assuming you already have a celebrant, can they give you any advice about locations where small wedding ceremonies are currently going ahead?
    - If you're open to a spiritualist wedding, I've seen pictures posted recently of weddings in their Dublin office.

    Well consider them all. We're waiting to hear back from some places. We have a celebrant booked and all.

    We'd like to avoid a church wedding anyway, there's an extra bit of gaff involved, pre course and stuff and neither of us are remotely religious.

    I might look at the spiritualist place too. I'm also okay with the registry office, but thats our last option anyway and would mean not using the celebrant we really like


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