Miserable in my house share

LegacyUser · 24-02-2021 7:45pm #1

I am mid 20s Irish living in a house share with 5 others (2 couples + 1 single person)

When i moved into the house Xmas 2019 it was a house of working professionals and I was the youngest, most were early 30s. For obvious reasons (covid) peoples circumstances changed and now all of the housemates have totally changed. The landlady never informed me when anyone was coming to view or what people were moving in. She basically didn't want to lose out on rent money and gave the room to any person who wanted it. As a result the house is now me and five international/Erasmus students no older than 20. There was, at one point, a man in his late 30s who drank 24hrs a day and got sick on the living room carpet.

I am miserable in the house and so lonely. English is limited and I am constantly cleaning up after people. They don't work and barely do any college work, and spend hours cooking every day. I am the only one working (9-5) and every evening when I come home there is an overfilled bin, no clean dishes/cutlery, and lingering food smells. They never open windows, wash tea towels, buy bin bags etc. I know people will say 'tell them' to do it but I will tell them (I suggest rota's, kitty jars etc.) but they just DON'T do it and I refuse to live like a student.

I am a confident and upbeat person and have spent the past year very openly asking/telling people to follow the cleaning rota, not to hog the hobs etc., but it has really been beating me down the past month. I feel like a nagging mother and I find myself embarrassed by the childish things they do.

There is a house hunting public fb page for my town, but you can't advertise or search for a room without people attacking you for moving during a level five. I know it's wrong to move for what seems like a petty reason but I am so miserable in the house. I have never 'not clicked' with people but just have nothing in common with anyone and feel like a mother.

I think I am just looking for someone to either tell me to pull it together or to tell me it's okay to move.

YellowLead · 24-02-2021 8:03pm

I think you should just move. Friends and family who care about you will understand a house move during these times!

Use daft.ie if you are worried about whatever this Facebook house finding public thingy is.

But if you don’t move you’ll be stuck in the same misery, complaining wont help, and for your own sake you don’t want to still be there in a few months time - times are hard enough and depending on how long you have been there you need to get arranging now so you can give notice and get your deposit back. Best of luck!

ILoveYourVibes · 24-02-2021 8:21pm

Why do you need someone to tell you its ok to move?

You are an adult. Do what you want to do.

yerwanthere123 · 24-02-2021 8:35pm

This is a no brainer. Move out immediately.

LilacNails · 24-02-2021 8:53pm

Move move move.

Ur landlord sounds inconsiderate and housemates sounds painful.

Get on daft.ie and other house sharing websites. I've seeing places advertised and not once thought it was wrong or strange.

Horrible situation to be in. Look now, the sooner the better.

LimeFruitGum · 24-02-2021 9:01pm

I understand the reluctance to move, especially when it was a nice place at first. But the landlady obviously couldn't care less who is in the house. I'm sure you can find somewhere better. Don't feel bad about giving your notice.

Sonic the Shaghog · 25-02-2021 12:34am

Nevermind the gowls on Facebook their brains don't engage, level 5 yes but there's lots of reasons a person may need to live during a level 5

Rubberchikken · 25-02-2021 12:56am

Move. Life's too short to put up with that nonsense.
If they want to pi$$ away their days living in filth, then let them.
Maybe it's time to consider living in your own place. Yes there's a pandemic but life is going on and even a day with coming in to a mess and chaos is too much.
Hope you get something sorted Op.

zoobizoo · 25-02-2021 10:39am

There's nothing worse than living somewhere where you die a little each time you hear someone else's key opening the front door.

I've been there OP. Living with people I like and the landlord then moves people in to fill rooms without a thought given to the people in the house.

It won't change. You can't change their behaviour and it will continue like this.

Move to a house with others who are also working 9-5 and if you like your own space (but can't afford a place to yourself), move in with one other person. It means that every time that they are out, you have the place to yourself and vice versa.

Xterminator · 25-02-2021 10:48am

Hi OP

you are allowing the fear of disapproval of people you hardly know, or dont now at all to scare you into accepting a bad situation. Yet objectively you are allowed to move during level 5 restrictions. you wouldn't even be breaking any rules!!

Come on now, overcome the inertia and nerves and make the change that will improve you state of mind. You will thank yourself later

Tork · 25-02-2021 12:09pm

Sonic the Shaghog wrote: »

Nevermind the gowls on Facebook their brains don't engage, level 5 yes but there's lots of reasons a person may need to live during a level 5

This ^^
If I've learned anything from forums and social media, it is that there will always be somebody with an opinion that'll take the good out of things. What are they doing in that Facebook group anyway? Sounds like they're just trying to annoy and upset people and have nothing better to do with their lives. If it was me, I'd block each and every one of them and leave them to their vigilantism. It's a no-brainer that it's time to move. Which will be worse? A bit of flaming for a couple of weeks at most or being stuck where you are for quite some time yet? I know which one I'd choose.

Edit: I don't consider your reasons for moving to be petty. Your living conditions are awful and in addition, you don't know who else your housemates are meeting up outside the household. If you're concerned about catching covid, living with this lot could be putting you at risk. There is far riskier behaviour going on out there than somebody moving to a new houseshare.

Jequ0n · 25-02-2021 12:44pm

I’m getting so tired of people using the covid card to chastise the world around them.
If you feel bullied by the online vigilantes you have plenty of reasons that should appease them: you are currently in a chaotic, untidy and unclean environment with a very high number of people (I think) which puts you at risk. End of discussion

spaceHopper · 25-02-2021 3:06pm

"Hi for various reasons I'm looking for a room in a house share... , anybody looking for ..... fell free to contact me and well work out a way to do this in a covid safe way"

Do it!

leggo · 25-02-2021 5:38pm

If it makes you feel better OP, we had a housemate move in at the start of this round of Level 5 restrictions. They were stopped by a Garda en route who saw they had their life packed up and said they were moving, the Garda laughed and said "I would hope so or you're living in there" and waved them on.

It's fairly essential to have a roof over your head and the 5km rule only applies to exercise, shopping etc. You can be COVID-safe while looking too (with the above room we did virtual viewings) so literally the only thing you need to do is physically move your stuff.

Ratcatcher100 · 25-02-2021 10:59pm

you are living a reality nightmare find a new place and move for your own good. Never mind the alarmists just do it. i would crack up in your situation living with spoilt students you are an adult do your own thing.

never_mind · 26-02-2021 1:04pm

Essential travel and an essential decision. Friends of mine moved last week for similar reasons and another couple I know have just moved into a new flat share.

Don't over think it. Can you move home to your parents for a bit while looking?

HildaOgdenx · 26-02-2021 1:06pm

Use ads on daft or wherever else rooms are advertised.

Forget about Facebook.

FionMc · 01-03-2021 12:47am

100% you should move. Im pretty sure theres some rule about moving house being an exception? Either way if you can say that saying in that house, theres a risk of danger to the erasmus kids from you losing the rag, then you're entitled to leave for their safety and not a judge in the country is going to punish you for that. One less murder case to deal with.

Miserable in my house share

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