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Looking for Guidance, Job Issue

  • 06-07-2019 12:05pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi Folks

    Looking for a bit of steer in what to do particularly with a work situation, I’m early forties and have been working since I’m 20 for same employer, I’ve done reasonably well in that time and have been promoted a couple of times, my new position is to say the least quite stressful and I guess the cracks in my mental health are starting to appear, I should mention that I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in my early twenties and I guess I’ve kept a lid on it but I never tell anyone about it etc at work but with the added stress of work It’s coming to the fore, racing heart rate, insomnia for days all the nastythings that go with it and I guess I can’t hide it anymore. I had a horrific week last week in work and really was not in a good place, my missus sat me down and said I should see doc which i did and he basically said the usual stress levels off the charts heart rate very high, i guess I’ve been living in this high anxious state for months and I know it can’t continue, he suggested can i take some time off from work and focus on myself and my family rather than letting work consume me.

    With that I’ve been considering taking a year out of unpaid leave/career break, I have some savings probably enough to keep us afloat for a year, I should also mention I have a young daughter and I guess one benefit would be no creche fees and spending more time with her as with work my focus my energy is taken completely with the job. However I’m concerned of how the job will take it, basically I keep my department afloat, what added a lot of pressure was that key people left whoch has put way more pressure on my shoulders, I should also point out was stress was a key factor in the latest person leaving the job. I guess has anyone taken a significant time out of work through career break etc? How did it work for you, was it a good/bad idea? All thoughts welcome

    Thank you


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 146 ✭✭Another day


    If stress was an issue for your predecessor then you need to raise it with HR if at all possible. Have you spoken to anyone in work about it? If not then do. Imo taking a career break and going back to the same stress makes no sense. Unless you plan to job hunt at the same time.

    If you need a break then get a sick cert from your doctor and take some time out. This will give you time to destress and find an outlet to relieve the stress. First step tho should be to talk to your bosses, as you've been promoted they obviously think a lot of you so may well listen and take on board what you say.

    Work stress is a killer as it affects every part of your life so make sure you look yourself.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭Finchie1276


    Similar situation for me - I crashed and burned though. I should have left. Get a sick cert and extend it a few times. Think about what you want to do and maybe re-train. Or else negotiate for a role that is reasonable with your current employer. Life is way too short to waste it doing stuff that sends you into stress. Enjoy the time with your kids - you never get that time again.

    Best of luck!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,046 ✭✭✭Berserker


    Your own health and well-being has to come first. In agreement with another poster, I see no value in taking time out, if you are going to return to the same organisation, role and position. Your employer or their opinion on the matter shouldn't come into play. Wouldn't bother bringing the issue up with HR.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,322 ✭✭✭JustAThought


    If you find you are nit managing is it pissible to tslk to HR and request that you take a step back in terms of the role - you are finding it hard on your mental hralth and unable to cope and it is affecting your mental health. I definately wouldnt take a year out or give up the job - frankly you may nor or easily ever get anothe secure position and may just waste your savings and then be in a worse oersonal or financial losition or with a job that is worse.

    To be honest to suppirt yourself I'd go to the doctor and explain it to them and ask them for a wek or so off work - you can extend it if you need at the end of yhe week. Don't tell them to stress on tge note but have it noted on your file. It will give you a vreak and get you away from tge inmediatw sutuation and then when you approach HR on reflection you will some some proof on file that they cannot just ignore.

    It may he that when the person who stepped down is replaced that it may become managable for you again and tgis is a temporary thing. Congratulations at being so long in a company - its like a marriage and rare these days outside the civil service.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,366 ✭✭✭jackboy


    With that I’ve been considering taking a year out of unpaid leave/career break, I have some savings probably enough to keep us afloat for a year, I should also mention I have a young daughter and I guess one benefit would be no creche fees and spending more time with her as with work my focus my energy is taken completely with the job. However I’m concerned of how the job will take it, basically I keep my department afloat, what added a lot of pressure was that key people left whoch has put way more pressure on my shoulders, I should also point out was stress was a key factor in the latest person leaving the job. I guess has anyone taken a significant time out of work through career break etc? How did it work for you, was it a good/bad idea? All thoughts welcome

    Thank you
    Don’t take unpaid leave, go out on stress leave for a few months. The doctor has confirmed that you are in an extreme state of stress. The company has made you sick due to their incompetence so don’t feel guilty or like you owe them something.

    The stuff about keeping your department afloat is nonsense. I here this stuff all the time. The company doesn’t need you, you can be easily replaced. Never forget that. Yes, I am saying that without knowing you or your job but the graveyard is full of indispensable people. Your mindset is all wrong.


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    OP, 8 years of working for shítty employer who treated me badly taught me one thing: no one is indispensable.

    That might sound harsh, but you need to realise that. If you left your department, or got sick (like you are now) or died, what would happen? The company would not grind to a halt. Your department would still be there and some other Jaysus would be hired to do your job. You would be replaced.

    I have no doubt that you are valuable to your company and you sound like a hard worker but at the end of the day if you were not doing your job someone else would be. Loyalty is a virtue but when it's misplaced it's destructive - and you're experiencing that in the first person right now. No job is worth how you are feeling right now.

    You need to go on leave, as soon as possible. Before something comes up that will convince you to stay because you're needed for it, like another person going on sick leave or a new project being sprung upon your department. And make sure it's paid leave - you've fecking earned it by the sounds of things.

    It sounds like you've been working there for so long and have become so good at your job that the fact you're the one who does it has become a factor in how you see yourself, your self-esteem. I don't know if this is your thinking, but if it is, you need to remember you are not defined by what you do for a living or how good you are at it.
    There is more to life than being run ragged by an employer who is happy to let you work yourself til you're ill, whether they're aware of it or not.

    The other thing is that, no matter how stressful, no matter how poor the conditions, no matter how unhappy the staff doing it - if a job is being done then an employer will not change anything. Someone already left over stress, so it's no secret. You can complain all you like to your employer about being short staffed, but if the work is still getting done then why would they hire new staff? If you have five people doing ten people's work, and getting it done, why would you hire another five to do the same thing for the same result? It won't change.

    You're making yourself sick by staying in this job, you need to take extended sick leave and have a think about whether or not it's for you while you are recuperating.

    There is more to life than this, OP, trust me! And the sky will not fall down just because you take a break.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,111 ✭✭✭SirChenjin


    Nothing much to add to wiggle's excellent advice.

    Your thinking is skewed (that's not a criticism) by the stress that you are under.

    Get yourself out of there, certified by your GP. Follow medical advice to protect both your mental and physical health.

    Work will run on, believe me.
    Look after yourself.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    You're now the second person to find the workload too much. If that's not a signal to your employer that they need to take on someone extra or distribute the work better I don't know what is. Sadly, there are plenty of employers out there who will take advantage of their employees and squeeze as much out of them as they can, rather that take on someone else.

    Don't even think about taking unpaid leave. That won't solve your problem. Taking stress leave will be an irrefutable sign to your employers that they need to do something. Carrying a workplace on your back is a fool's errand. One day you'll move on from there and you'll be forgotten about in 5 minutes. Then you'll sit back and wonder what sort of an eejit you were.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Can I tell you the story of my father?

    He worked for a small business and had a lot of responsibility. He worked very hard and carried the business on his back more than he should have done. He used to get extremely stressed and took that home with him. That was tough for my mum but it wasn't very nice for us kids either. His long hours meant that he sometimes missed family occasions or was so preoccupied with his job he might as well have not been there. It took a toll on his health too.

    Then he retired. The man who took over from him quickly realised what the workload entailed and put his foot down. The business owner took on an extra person, proving that father had been doing the job of two people. Then the business got sold and the owner did nicely from it. All that hard work my father did counted for absolutely nothing at the end of the day. He was nothing but an employee who chose to work too hard and helped make the business more saleable for its owner.

    My father doesn't know what he was thinking at the time. He now regrets putting so much of himself into that job. It wasn't even his own business. He was overdoing it for someone else who was happy to watch him slave away and do all this Trojan work. All that left my father with was regrets about family time he'd never get back and the stress he put himself under. If my father saw this thread on boards, I know what he would have to say to you now. You need to get some perspective here. You're killing yourself for someone else and they are happy to see you do it because it's saving them from having to do anything about it. Many of us take pride in our jobs and work hard. The trick is to know when to step back and not overdo it. You are so caught up in this business and your job you can no longer see straight. Don't sacrifice yourself like this. It is only one job and one workplace. I have yet to hear of any business that went under one an "indispensable" member of staff left.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi folks

    Me again, I just wanted to thank all of you for your posts, very informative and honestly been a wake up call for me, my thinking has been wrong on this, a lot has happened since my last post, one I had further health checks which have revealed some issues with my heart therefore high stress is putting me at high risk, two I sat down with my manager and had a very frank conversation about work, I went in adamant I wanted a year out and after some discussions it has been granted, I was offered an increase in money to hang in there as he put it however I declined and insisted that it’s something I needed to do, a trade off we agreed was that after the year I would return and be reassigned to a different part of the company in return I hang on until October to train up a replacement. I don’t have bad blood with the manager I think he’s a decent bloke but his focus is elsewhere so I have no problem training in someone and I don’t want to leave them high and dry if I went immediately. So i am happy with the outcome and look forward to unplugging from the madness
    Soon.

    One thing that has hit home from the posts above is that everybody is replaceable, I’ve no doubt I’ll be forgotten after a month, life goes on the world keeps turning my only regret is that I didn’t do this much sooner.

    Thanks again folks, very helpful and much appreciated.


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