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The Cooking Disaster Thread

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    #392
    Kintarō Hattori
    Registered Users Posts: 14,964 ✭✭✭✭Kintarō Hattori


    Gloomtastic! wrote: »
    Oh err, doesn’t sound like it’s cooked. Did you brown the chicken in a pan beforehand? What setting did you have the slow cooker on?

    I didn't brown beforehand as the receipe didn't call for it, the video showed raw chicken going in. It called for it to be cooked on low for 5 hours. The error must have been mine as people rave about it:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGcRlaoioIE


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    #393
    phormium
    Registered Users Posts: 3,293 ✭✭✭phormium


    I think slow cookers vary a lot in what temps they reach, I have two, one of them I call my fast cooker as it keeps stuff bubbling away at what looks to be similar to having it on a hob temp even on low, on high I treat it and cooking times the same as a saucepan.

    In that video the sauce is clearly bubbling, I know my second slow cooker would not generate bubbles at all on the lower heat. Maybe try it again and do it on high and see how it goes, might be an idea to try it some day you are at home for the full time so you can see exactly how long it takes to cook so you can judge whether you have a fast or a slow 'slow' cooker.


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    #394
    Dizzyblonde
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 12,108 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dizzyblonde


    Something to watch for with slow cookers: mine has three settings - Low, Medium and High. The Low setting doesn't actually cook food at all, it just keeps it warm. So if a recipe calls for cooking on Low, that means Medium on my slow cooker :rolleyes:


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    #395
    rubadub
    Registered Users Posts: 32,373 ✭✭✭✭rubadub


    Kintarō Hattori wrote: »
    There was no flavour and the chicken was barely warm
    The ingredients looked quite bland, only 1/2tsp of chilli, I would be using literally 10 times that.

    The chicken will release moisture so I imagine it ended up quite watery. A trick I do is sometimes deliberately do not stir up the coconut milk, open the can and scoop out the hard stuff separating it from the liquid.

    If it is mixed up too much it could be boiled up in a saucepan on its own to reduce it, then when cooled a bit add it to the slow cooker, so as not to be overcooking the chicken in boiling coconut milk.

    As said all slow cookers will vary. I think some are not even thermostatically controlled so could have varying temps depending on the temp of your room. I would be checking with a thermometer. The recipes should really give temps too.


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    #396
    Alun
    Registered Users Posts: 21,418 ✭✭✭✭Alun


    rubadub wrote: »
    The ingredients looked quite bland, only 1/2tsp of chilli, I would be using literally 10 times that.
    That would depend massively on the chili powder you're using. The stuff I use, if I used 5 tsp in a dish, it'd be inedible :)


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    #397
    rubadub
    Registered Users Posts: 32,373 ✭✭✭✭rubadub


    Alun wrote: »
    That would depend massively on the chili powder you're using. The stuff I use, if I used 5 tsp in a dish, it'd be inedible :)

    Yep, that's another thing the recipes should ideally be stating. If they do not state it I presume it to be standard supermarket stuff.


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    #398
    the beer revolu
    Registered Users Posts: 16,757 ✭✭✭✭the beer revolu


    I'm going to echo what another poster said and say that I don't really think that chicken has any place in a slow cooker.


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    #399
    Muahahaha
    Registered Users Posts: 19,610 ✭✭✭✭Muahahaha


    the beer revolu wrote: »
    I'm going to echo what another poster said and say that I don't really think that chicken has any place in a slow cooker.

    Yeah was thinking the exact same myself and that video above was the first time Ive ever seen a slow cooker recipe for chicken. Slow cookers are for tough cuts of meats like beef shin, stewing beef, etc so it seems strange to be putting tender cuts like breast of chicken into one. I dont see any advantage in cooking chicken in one for 4 or 5 hours when about 10 minutes on a hob would have it cooked in the sauce.

    Im guessing the reason behind it is some food bloggers just needing more and more 'content' for their Youtube channels so they come up with this crap. Its kind of like those Instant Pot videos where they pressure cook a full chicken and it comes out yellow and slimey and then they have to move it to the oven to crisp it up anyway. Like whats the actual point of using two devices to cook a single chicken? It is double the hassle and double the clean up afterwards for no advantage. Yet food bloggers do it just to create new 'content' :rolleyes:


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    #400
    igCorcaigh
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 11,076 Mod ✭✭✭✭igCorcaigh


    Alun wrote: »
    That would depend massively on the chili powder you're using. The stuff I use, if I used 5 tsp in a dish, it'd be inedible :)

    What type of chilli powder do you use?

    I find that the supermarket stuff has no kick, so I grind the dried birds eye ones from Tesco. They are super hot.


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    #401
    10-10-20
    Registered Users Posts: 6,648 ✭✭✭10-10-20


    I got some nice steaks which I was going to flambé on an iron cast-pan. I had some Christmas Cognac all lined up. Kids were watching for the spectacle of the flambe...

    I heated the pan, put the steaks on, cooked for 2 mins and then splashed on what may have been a little too much Cognac and lit it.

    Cognac lit gently initially, but the flames started roaring up as the oil caught fire, smoke billowing from the pan. I turned on the "extractor", which was one of those air-filter things, to try catch the soot, but it sucked the flames into the filter...

    ...the flames burned the filter which held the filter charcoal in, dumping the thousands of little charcoal granules out onto the grease-guard underneath. The grease-guard then contorted and gave-way, dumping all of the charcoal onto the pan below extinguishing the flames.

    Three nice steaks now were crispy-black with tens of lumps of char attached with a smattering of burnt plastic and the kids had evacuated into the sitting-room.


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    #402
    Gloomtastic!
    Registered Users Posts: 8,313 ✭✭✭Gloomtastic!


    10-10-20 wrote: »
    I got some nice steaks which I was going to flambé on an iron cast-pan. I had some Christmas Cognac all lined up. Kids were watching for the spectacle of the flambe...

    I heated the pan, put the steaks on, cooked for 2 mins and then splashed on what may have been a little too much Cognac and lit it.

    Cognac lit gently initially, but the flames started roaring up as the oil caught fire, smoke billowing from the pan. I turned on the "extractor", which was one of those air-filter things, to try catch the soot, but it sucked the flames into the filter...

    ...the flames burned the filter which held the filter charcoal in, dumping the thousands of little charcoal granules out onto the grease-guard underneath. The grease-guard then contorted and gave-way, dumping all of the charcoal onto the pan below extinguishing the flames.

    Three nice steaks now were crispy-black with tens of lumps of char attached with a smattering of burnt plastic and the kids had evacuated into the sitting-room.

    I think I would have cried! Hope you, your kids and your kitchen have recovered. Take away tonight? ;)


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    #403
    thewolfisloose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 49 ✭thewolfisloose


    Minder wrote: »
    Back in the day I used to flat share. One saturday I wanted to make a chilli, but when I got to the shops in the evening, there was no minced beef. There was a packet of minced venison so I thought what's the harm? I got home and made up the chilli. As I was cooking my flatmate arrived home with his girlfriend. We were all due to go out but he wanted to make a meal before going to the pub. Since the kitchen was a bit pokey, I offered to share the chilli, telling him it was made with venison. He accepted.

    I finished the sauce, made a pot of rice and served it up to the other two in the living room. As we were tucking in, I said "tastes a lot like beef, doesn't it". My flatmates girlfriend, Karen, stops in mid forkful... "What'd mean, it tastes like beef. If its not beef, what is it? "Venison", I said. Whats venison? Deer. I didn't ask how expensive it was, what meat is it, says she. Deer meat. Blank look. Deer, you know, like bambi! I said helpfully. To say she was a little distressed would be an understatement. My flatmate had forgot to mention to his beloved that it was a venison chilli. I think she politely pushed it around the plate for a bit longer before declaring herself full....

    Bless her, I think she went vegetarian not long after that.

    I love red meat, but an incident involving a Lidl Kangaroo steak set me straight on the black beans for about 6 months.


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    #404
    Corvo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,646 ✭✭✭Corvo


    Kintarō Hattori wrote: »
    I tried my first ever slow cooker recipe, a Brazillian coconut chicken curry and it was crap. There was no flavour and the chicken was barely warm and seemed kinda slimey (it wasn't pink). Quite disappointed as it seemed like it might be lovely.

    I’ve done this Scott Baptie recipe and my god it was the blandest thing I’ve ever made so you are not alone. I ended up squeezing about 2 lemons into it just to try bring it back to life. To no avail.

    I don’t know why I tried it when I regularly make curries from scratch.


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    #405
    Alun
    Registered Users Posts: 21,418 ✭✭✭✭Alun


    igCorcaigh wrote: »
    What type of chilli powder do you use?

    I find that the supermarket stuff has no kick, so I grind the dried birds eye ones from Tesco. They are super hot.

    East End extra hot chili powder, I get it in my local Asian store in 100g bags.

    https://images.app.goo.gl/gfRvG3iqiEaqyzua9


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    #406
    BaZmO*
    Registered Users Posts: 18,625 ✭✭✭✭BaZmO*


    10-10-20 wrote: »
    I got some nice steaks which I was going to flambé on an iron cast-pan. I had some Christmas Cognac all lined up. Kids were watching for the spectacle of the flambe...

    I heated the pan, put the steaks on, cooked for 2 mins and then splashed on what may have been a little too much Cognac and lit it.

    Cognac lit gently initially, but the flames started roaring up as the oil caught fire, smoke billowing from the pan. I turned on the "extractor", which was one of those air-filter things, to try catch the soot, but it sucked the flames into the filter...

    ...the flames burned the filter which held the filter charcoal in, dumping the thousands of little charcoal granules out onto the grease-guard underneath. The grease-guard then contorted and gave-way, dumping all of the charcoal onto the pan below extinguishing the flames.

    Three nice steaks now were crispy-black with tens of lumps of char attached with a smattering of burnt plastic and the kids had evacuated into the sitting-room.
    God! That's awful.

    Although, I must admit I was laughing reading it as I was visualising it like it was a scene from Mr. Bean.


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    #407
    the beer revolu
    Registered Users Posts: 16,757 ✭✭✭✭the beer revolu


    BaZmO* wrote: »
    God! That's awful.

    Although, I must admit I was laughing reading it as I was visualising it like it was a scene from Mr. Bean.

    Yup, I had sympathy and laughter in equal measure!

    It was nicely written!


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    #408
    rubadub
    Registered Users Posts: 32,373 ✭✭✭✭rubadub


    10-10-20 wrote: »
    the kids had evacuated into the sitting-room.
    I was sure it was going to end with something like "but at least the kids enjoyed the scene, they were clapping and cheering".

    Scary stuff...


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    #409
    Michellenman
    Registered Users Posts: 11,195 ✭✭✭✭Michellenman


    Made gyozas tonight, wrappers from scratch and all. Flavour was good but the texture of the dough when boiled was so slimey and slippery it made my skin crawl. Think I’ll just buy wrappers next time. Not sure it’s worth the hassle.


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    #410
    Kintarō Hattori
    Registered Users Posts: 14,964 ✭✭✭✭Kintarō Hattori


    Corvo wrote: »
    I’ve done this Scott Baptie recipe and my god it was the blandest thing I’ve ever made so you are not alone. I ended up squeezing about 2 lemons into it just to try bring it back to life. To no avail.

    I don’t know why I tried it when I regularly make curries from scratch.

    The same. I reguarly would make a Thai green curry, kofta curry etc but said I'd try something which might take a bit less time. It was shockingly bland. I ended up just throwing it out, which I felt guilty about.


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    #411
    tscul32
    Registered Users Posts: 2,530 ✭✭✭tscul32


    Kintarō Hattori wrote: »
    The same. I reguarly would make a Thai green curry, kofta curry etc but said I'd try something which might take a bit less time. It was shockingly bland. I ended up just throwing it out, which I felt guilty about.

    I had that recipe earmarked to try sometime, but think I'll skip it now.


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    #412
    L1011
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 67,630 Mod ✭✭✭✭L1011


    This was rescuable to something entirely edible, but be aware of ingredients listed in very old recipes

    early 70s Madhur Jaffrey recipe specified "one (or two small) tinned tomatoes, chopped" - by which she meant take one tinned plum tomato out of the tin, and chop it up

    Not, as someone reading that recipe now might assume, "one (or two small) tins of chopped tomatoes" - thinking of the American thing of using double sized tins of tomatoes

    Rather too much tomato and way too much liquid to evaporate off later...


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    #413
    Corvo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,646 ✭✭✭Corvo


    Kintarō Hattori wrote: »
    The same. I reguarly would make a Thai green curry, kofta curry etc but said I'd try something which might take a bit less time. It was shockingly bland. I ended up just throwing it out, which I felt guilty about.

    I had this feeling for a long time that "long cooking time = great taste" which certainly isn't the case for this disaster of a dish.

    Reckon we stick to how we are doing curries as they are...:D


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    #414
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    I decided to make fondant potatoes for our fish dinner. Had them simmering away in a lovely buttery garlicy rosemary-y broth. But I checked on them half way through and was afraid they were on too low a heat and wouldn't be ready at the same time as the fish. So I whacked up the heat... and burned the arse off them! Picture of the burnt bits I scrapped off.

    Fcuk it anyway...

    I'll sooth my bruised ego with jelly and ice-cream later.


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    #415
    TheKBizzle
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 495 Mod ✭✭✭✭TheKBizzle


    First attempt at cannoli this morning, didn’t quite bubble up the way I wanted and then couldn’t get them off the tubes. Fired the whole lot into the bin.

    I’ll go back an attempt them again once I’ve calmed down.


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