Jay Hunter's Journal of Horror Films

HORRORTHON 2014: House with 100 Eyes (2013)

Plot: Married couple Ed and Susan aim to make their greatest snuff film; a "triple feature", killing three victims in one night, in their escape-proof home.

Thoughts:
• Footage is via edited static/surveillance and a hand-camera. Ed & Susan talk to the camera, aiming to make a movie that contains behind the scenes, making of etc all in one go, explaining why they narrate when they can. It's quite a good idea for a film. They find/lure 3 homeless kids under the guise of making a porno to their house, and here we go!
• Although they've done this possibly hundreds of times, they haven't gotten their coaxing game down (i.e. the first 2 groups they engage don't come with them). It did make it more interesting this way.
• The house is a regular place, with a 'studio' (a room with a mattress, plant and a camera) and a torture chamber, which is where the vast majority of the gore happens. It's limited to a few nasty scenes. Most of the film is them convincing the trio to make this porn until things go pear-shaped.
• Ed is the quick-tempered 'bad cop' whilst Susan is the somewhat-ditsy but well-meaning loving 'good cop'.
• THE CHEEK of Clutch (the male victim) having sex in the shower, rendering him impotent minutes before he's supposed to go on camera!
• I enjoyed Ed going through his tool-kit telling you what you need and the pros and cons of items (e.g. cuffs are fast but rope is more versatile; guns are loud and you may miss, knives are close and confirm kills)
• Nudity is fully censored with a blurry bar.
• It was quite funny hearing Ed's dismissal of Crystal, whom he berates for being fat despite being homeless.
• Maddie (a human house-pet) singing was quite creepy.
• The last act changes the situation which is both interesting and satisfying.

Overall: It held my attention the entire duration. It's not the best written film (the married couple are by far the most interesting, not the victims) but it's a refreshingly decent indy flick.

HORRORTHON 2014: Alleluia (2014)

Plot: French horror film about a charming con-artist that agrees to be with, and perform cons with a former victim.

Thoughts on the film:
• With films like this and Spain's I Saw The Devil, I feel international horror treats sexuality very differently. It's a part of life, more sensual and passionate, as opposed to most American horror films' loveless sex scenes, "nudity for nudity's sake". It doesn't glorify sex, it showcases lovemaking featuring normal, regular, older people, not reserved for young, gorgeous movie starlets.
• There's also scenes with non-sexual nudity, such as a (recently murdered) body and cleaning up after a kill. Gloria cleans cadavers at the start of the film, and blurrily focuses on a corpse's genitals. Didn't appreciate it, thought I'd warn you.
• Gloria gets rolled extremely quickly - in what seems like 1-2 dates, she's begging to throw all of her cash at him and nonchalantly leaves her young daughter with a stranger. Gloria literally dashes up the stairs to get her life savings. Although by the end, her character is so unhinged it seems plausible. She's intensely in love with him and also exhilarated to leave her child with her sister to start the daring life as a con-artist couple.
• Michael (Laurent Lucas) has a great conning game parting women with their cash, and this is his business, but he makes a completely inane decision agreeing to do this with Gloria. OK, she's the first woman to want in on it, but she is clearly unable to deal with the concept of seducing and ripping off women - emotionally bellowing out her frustrations, and literally throwing a tantrum punching herself and her bed. Michael does a silly face/Humphrey Bogart impression to cajole her, treating her like a 2 year old! And like a 2 year old, it works. She repeatedly shows she's emotionally incapable of doing these cons with Michael. From my perspective, it's obvious he doesn't love her (he rolled her and moved on to his next victims immediately) but he sticks with her.
• • Oddly there's act titles (e.g. "Act 2: Marguerite") which just reminded me that it's a movie. We see the couple try their hand trimming 3 different marks.
• There were also musical sequences with little to no dialogue which broke up the acts just fine.

Overall: I liked this one. A decent watch, different from a lot of horror films, engaged throughout.

The Babadook (2014)

Plot: The Babadook is an Australian-made psychological horror. Amelia is a widowed mother of a difficult child - Samuel is awkward and self-isolating, constantly blurting out inappropriate responses, and obsessed with and terrified of an imaginary evil being, The Babadook.

Thoughts:
• Yes it's a silly name, it's the name of a children's storybook monster. It might be a turnoff when you hear Sam reading the book "bababa-Dook! Dook! Dook!", but you'll get over it pretty quickly. The Babadook itself is a large humanoid male dressed in black with a top hat, with long fingers. Sam finds and chooses his storybook to read at bedtime.

• Emilia's patience and psyche is put through the ringer as her child's obsession/loud acting-out sees him ostracised from other children (like a friend not wanting to do a joint birthday party any more) and his school wanting him pulled from the class and taught separately. His problems directly affect her - she is sleep-deprived and alone in her care for a constantly testing child, unable to talk to anyone about her child's worrying behaviour and his supposedly irrational fears. I felt so bad for her, when she gets a moment of silence at night, and starts masturbating quietly and is interrupted by her scared child. Ah for f**ks sake!

• It's rare that a horror film will actually be genuinely creepy. Like Saw is torture effects and gore with a twisted morality tale, but you're never actually scared, it's a straight-forward threat that is clearly visible and tangible (eg "I'm trapped in a torture device"). Emilia (and to a lesser extent, Samuel) is seemingly locked in grieving for her dead husband (it was 7 years ago) and that's the crux of the film: Is the Babadook all in his head, or all in her head (as in a psychotic manifestation of grief, basically it's a "grief monster") or is it a real supernatural being coming to kill them? By the end it's pretty definitive which one of the three is correct.

• The monotone house never let's up the oppressive mood. She aimlessly wanders around in her drab work uniform in her drab-coloured home. There's a bit of "let's sit in the dark" lighting but it's fine. It serves in stark contrast to the Babadook book, which is bright red. There's effective use of silence and a muted score, it's understated and used when it needs to be. I thought the Babadook's voice was scary, and the anticipation of him creeping around was brilliant.

• Whilst Sam is terrified of and making plans to combat the Babadook, Emilia starts seeing the monster during her daily life - such as seeing his hat and coat. It's played off as a rational woman encountering hallucinations of irrational, impossible happenings until the final act.

OK I wanna talk more about the film, but it'll involve spoilers. Be forewarned!

Overall, it's definitely a critic-pleaser, not a crowd-pleaser. It demands attention and silence to enjoy, as opposed to a "fun" gore-fest like Hellraiser. A thoroughly effective horror film. Definitely recommended!

Beetlejuice (1988)

Cast/Crew: Directed by Tim Burton, starring Michael Keaton (as Beetlejuice), Alec Baldwin & Geena Davis as the married ghost couple, Jeffrey Jones & Catherine O’Hara as the new owners, and Winona Ryder as their psuedo-goth poser daughter.

Plot: Children’s light-hearted horror comedy. Ghosts of a married couple haunt their former home, and enlist a “bio exorcist”, a ghost named Beetlejuice, to scare off it’s new owners.

Some trivia:
• Originally the script was a serious horror film where Beetlejuice was a reptilian demon that took the form of a middle easter man, who tried to kill the new owners and rape Lydia. Of course the film was completely written to be a comedy and greatly toned down Beetlejuice into a sleazy con-man.
• Keaton’s performance (he ad-libbed many of his lines) convinced Tim Burton to cast him in Batman. In Beetlejuice’s crazy carnival outfit you can see he’s wearing Bat-ears!
• The studio disliked the name “Beetlejuice” and wanted to name the film “House Ghosts”, a horrifically bland title. Burton snapped back with “Scared Sheetless” and was mortified to learn the studio actually considered it.
• This film is rated PG-13, yet contains a clearly audible “F**K!”, as did some other PG-13 films around the same time.
• It’s odd that Beetlejuice’s real name is Betelgeuse, which is seen in the movie. He’s named after the Orion star.

Thoughts :
• You’ll recognise all of the main actors/actresses. I hadn’t seen this film since it came out, weird seeing them so young!
• This is the first of a real “Tim Burton” iconic style film – particularly the black & white curled up arms of Beetlejuice. Combined with the Danny Elfman score, there’s no doubt it’s a Tim Burton film. Luckily it was filmed before his obsession with constantly hiring Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp.
• The tone is quite whimsical – the married couple don’t pay attention while driving (one of my pet peeves in film/TV shows) and die, after a dog moves off a final wooden board keeping them teetering before falling.
• The movie is bursting with creativity (eg the waiting room monsters), I loved the use of animatronics, green-screen, prosthetics and stop-motion animation. It’s a wonderful, zany sight to behold. Amazing it was all done with $15 million.
• Also, great use of miniatures mixed with large models. Having Beetlejuice hang out in a model replica of the town was very cool. (and we things like digging through a huge miniature AstroTurf set.)
• The film itself has a lot of fun, like the husband enjoying the quiet has his window smashed in by his wife’s hideous art, and then she gets trapped against the house by it. The afterlife “case worker” has to deal with the married couple as well as a waiting-room full of the deceased, including an American football team.
• Didn’t like the character of 80s teenage-angst Lydia (Winona Ryder). She says “Maybe you can relax in a haunted house but I can’t”, despite constantly dressing in mourning black attire. What a poser! “I myself am strange and unusual” – said by painfully boring people. As is her writing suicide notes to get attention. JAYSUS.
• Beetlejuice is excellent. It’s hilarious that he bluntly keeps hitting on Barbara despite her husband being there, while trying to cajole a job. He makes a quick **** gesture I’m sure kids didn’t realise. It’s difficult to pin him down, but I’d say he’s a crass, obnoxious but charming, nicer version of Trevor from GTA 5. He has some hilarious lines (“Nice f***ing model! Honk honk!”). His character really takes over any scene he’s in. The waiting scene with the head shrinker is had me in stitches.
• There’s a couple of music tracks really dating it as a late 80s film, such as Harry Belafonte’s Banana Boat Song (Day-O). As does the Yuppie wife’s “art”!

Overall: A thoroughly enjoyable film – an excellent performance by Keaton and just brimming full of zany creativity. So much fun watching it! Definitely recommend.

House At The End of the Street (2012)

Plot: Elissa and her mother move into a new home, which is close to a murder house, where the parents were murdered by their brain-damaged daughter. The son (Ryan) lives there now.

Cast/Crew: Starring Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games, The Fappening) as Elissa, Elisabeth Shue (Jennifer in Back to the Future 2 & 3) as the mother, Max Thieriot (the boy next door, John Connor in T3) as the boy next door, Ryan, and Gil Bellows (Billy from Ally McBeal) as a the Officer Weaver.

Thoughts:
• This is nothing like the similarly-titled "The Last House on the Left" (a rape/revenge horror), which gave me wildly different expectations! I'd describe the film as aimed at teenagers wanting to get into horror. Half of it is her being interested in this broken sympathetic pretty boy next door. The mother disapproves of their budding relationship, and the mother-daughter relationship is wafer-thin.
• Scares are the cheapest: loud-noise jump startlings. Trope of a low-on-battery flashlight, that gives way to a first-person "darkness then flash of light" searching scene that is entirely ineffective. Watch Saw 1 where the photographer recounts getting abducted for the exact same deal but being incredibly effective!
• First shot of Jennifer Lawrence is her Indian sitting on the car with an acoustic guitar. Whilst her mother brings in boxes, the guitar is the only thing she brings in the new house. BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH AN ARTIST, RIGHT? I already don't like her. She is pretty though. Hard to not sound bitter, but wow, STATE of your lip-syncing mate.
• Literal boy next door (Ryan) is John Connor from Terminator 3. They do a good job making him sympathetic: He lives alone, tormented, looks after psychotic sister, no parents, other parents and peers pick on him behind his back, he's beaten up... he plays the stock sad, deep, outcast pretty guy. I can fix him!
• The film repeatedly verbally hammers home the points it's trying to make. After the neighbours speak ill of Ryan, Officer Bill complains that the neighbours speak ill of Ryan, and are spiteful as his parents' death is affecting their house price. The mother invites him over before throwing him out, and Elissa actually says it. Ryan is portrayed as a sympathetic, broken, caring soul, which appeals to Elissa, and the mother states "he's broken, You're trying to fix him!"
• Elissa's mother is kept away from the house (so Elissa can have adventures) by a flimsy plot device. She's repeatedly stuck with late shifts. It's SHIFTWORK. You'd have a rostered time. If you were on call it'd be on a rota, they wouldn't stick you with it 5 minutes before leaving.
• There's a great revelation 1 hr 12 into the film. I remarked that there was surprisingly B.S. lucidity and ingenuity of Ryan's sister - this crazed, homicidal lunatic, being aware of the location of the key and a smart method to retrieve it, but it makes sense by the end. Some instances earlier in the film now have a new meaning, which is cool.
• Elissa suspects things by going through his stuff (finding suspicious things in the garbage). I didn't appreciate how she found any aul reason to let herself into his place and snoop around, regardless of the outcome.
• What kind of kidnapper ties people up with cloth? C'mon mate. This isn't an impromptu gig.
• I really appreciated Elissa locks her attacker in the crawl room, and puts a washing machine over the trap door. It only bought her about 20 seconds but we don't see intelligence enough in these situations.

• I'm fairly certain Ryan followed the 5 parts of the DENNIS System (from Always Sunny)
D- Demonstrate Value: Offers her a ride home during the rain
E- Engage Physically: they kiss
N- Nurture Dependence: she fights with & defies her mother, and sees him
N- Neglect Emotionally: Throws her out of the house
I- Inspire Hope: Asks to see her again
S- Separate Entirely :pac:

• Ending shot is very reminiscent of Psycho.

Overall: This is more a bridge for non-horror teens to get into horror. It's more of a teen drama with horror elements. I enjoyed the twist but that's about it, so I won't recommend.

The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

Plot: A year after the original, another Purge. This time we have three storylines:
1) A dying man is paid $100,000 so a rich family can kill him, as is the style of the time. He leaves behind his wife and teen daughter. Their night is eventful.
2) A grieving man/gruff commando-type wants to kill someone specific and heads downtown (where the Purge mainly takes place)
3) A couple are stranded downtown right before the purge.
During the course of the night, their stories come together.

Thoughts:
• In the last year, unemployment has risen to 5%. (In Purge 1 it was 1%). I'm sure this is to show that concept doesn't work. (Whaaat? Really!)
• I am surprised how people have to work their day jobs up to about 2 hours before the purge. Seems unnecessarily dangerous.
• There are two sets of baddies, a group of biker hoodlums and a guy with a Minigun in a van. Pretty stock faceless villain stuff.
• It's shown it's easy to cheat/game the system: hoodlums damage a car to strand the couple in the danger zone! Another guy disables part of a security system for easy access. Boo!
• Dude with a rifle on a rooftop's got the right idea.
• The group have a chance to take guns and armoured truck...they don't. If they did it'd be the end of the film! They shouldn't present those scenarios.
• How difficult as an employer must it be to possibly rehire people once a year? Screening for "who might kill me" must be ridiculous!
• Love between a divorced (former) couple is hard to care about. It's something you don't see often (for that reason).
• For the first hour I enjoyed it more than the first. I'm happy to see the effect on the poor side of town, the hypocrisy of the situation and movement to overthrow the government. However the film feels a lot cheaper. Not that it looks poor, it just feels cheap. 2 pairs of regular people follow around a gruff commando.
• An hour in, it takes a dip. The movie falls off the rails as they're shipped off as game for the rich. There's still 35 minutes left in the film and it's a tough slog. If Purge 1 was a straight line, this started above but finished below, and is overall less enjoyable.

Some fun, sarcastic lines:
"Leaving and coming back is a bit of a dick move"
(Whispering) "I don't know if we can trust him" ... (Loudly) "I can hear you, you know"

Overall: Kinda crawled over the finish line but the final 5 minutes were interesting. Some good moments here but I wouldn't recommend.

Zombeavers (2014)
...The answer's yes, it is. And it's wonderful.

Plot: You already know the plot! 6 teens head to a lakeside cabin where toxic waste turned beavers into zombie beavers.

Thoughts:
• Ok, this film's premise is clearly ridiculous - but it's a horror comedy, that lampoons itself with horror tropes (JAWS-style attacks), douchebag teens (one scare scene ends with a running fart, so crass it's hilarious) and overly hammy performances. You can tell everyone's having a great time filming this movie (and is shown via outtakes at the end).
• So let's get to it: 27 minutes in, we get our first zombeaver. In addition to CGI beavers and one made to be dissected, there are two types of zombeavers on set - puppets that you only see part of (because the puppetteer is behind the table moving it like a sock on his hand - YES!) and an inanimate plush toy (that the actors have to throw around - YES!).
• A dissected beaver's tail starts thumping the table, and gets beheaded, where you see the cheap rubbery entrails. Aww yeah!
• "They're also excellent tunnellers" is all the explanation you're getting as they appear out of nowhere like stalking tunnelling worms!
• I don't understand how people don't feel their foot being bitten off just because they're in cold water - hate that trope!
• The most annoying of the 3 girls also bares her breasts, so there's that.
• A couple of beaver double-entendres eg "We were looking for beavers" "aren't we all".
• Drama because a boyfriend cheated with another's girlfriend.
• When she sees a woman crying, she says "what did you do to her?" Not "what did you say?" or "what happened?". Screw you! It really stuck out to me.
• Although we see the cause is Toxic Waste, the film also suggests it's the Giardia parasite...an intestinal infection causing diarrhoea usually in cats and dogs.
• Credits song is by Richard Cheese (who did the Big Band version of Down with the Sickness in Zombieland) - wonderful.

Couple of funny bits that I'm iffy on spoiling:
OVERALL: It's a ridiculous, dumb but ultimately successful horror comedy. OK it's not well-written, but it knows it's campy garbage and has a whole lot of fun with it, and over-delivered in the entertainment department. This is a crowd-pleaser, guaranteed to get some big laughs. Watch this with some mates.

La casa del fin de los tiempos (The House at the End of Time) (2013)

Cast/Crew: Venezuelan horror-suspense film by Alejandro Hidalgo.

Plot: Elderly Dulce, after being transferred from jail to house-arrest, returns to her house 30 years after her husband was murdered and her child was taken. The first scene shows the night of the incident: finding her husband stabbed and dying, and her child (Leopoldo) literally taken into the darkness.

Thoughts on the film:
• No, not House at the End of the Street with Jennifer Lawrence!
• The film takes place in two timelines, both in the house: in 1981, the night of the murder/disappearance, and 2011, when she returns home. As the film progresses they cut between the two more quickly, to tell the tale of the house, explaining the odd occurances. So it’s kind of like Oculus.
• There’s a really lovely development that ties the two together and goes with it. I love the 'see things a second time from a different POV' that marries and explains things.
• Something always apparent to me watching foreign films (well not Japanese, but European and South American films) is the vastly different portrayal of the family dynamic – the focus on a loving family; a warm, honest and caring bond, rather than the stereotypical passive-aggressive dysfunctional American family. You see it again here. They spend more time with Ducle’s children showing them playing and being children, so when the characters hug you feel it’s genuine. I felt happy for the characters!
• So the story is her readjusting to living in the house, and being (apparently) haunted by ghosts/intruders whilst under house-arrest in her home.
• Upon her return, a priest comes to visit, trying to understand the crime (eager to believe she’s innocent) and get her to renew her faith. It makes more sense by the end that he specifically wants to help this lady, but through the film I thought ‘what’s the point investigating this after 30 years in prison?!’. Also, a convicted life sentence seems a bit harsh, considering the last owners mysteriously vanished, as did Dulce’s son.
• The same actress (Ruddy Rodríguez) plays middle-aged and elderly Dulce. I never like seeing younger people play much older, frail people in a serious role. They physically move too well, not rigid enough, their eyes are too bright & energetic than an actual old person. It breaks kayfabe!
• Someone/something trying to open a locked door, jiggling the handle and banging the door is frightening! Especially if whatever it is opens the door. Great anticipation, intriguing situation and satisfying explanation.
• I thought the father was given a rough time (scolded for failing to provide) at the start but I was proven really wrong with that one! He’s scum!
Overall I enjoyed it, a fun and interesting tale of a mysterious house with relative time dilation in an amazingly compressed space! Seriously; the family dynamic, the suspense, horror, and sci-fi aspect made it compelling viewing. If this sounds half-way interesting, go watch it and lemme know!

Stake Land (2010)
Not a delicious restaurant, but Zombieland with Vampires!

Plot: In post-apocalyptic modern America, the humans have become isolated scavengers in a world overrun with vampires. These Vamps are fast-running, flesh-eating, enraged, infectious, mindless beings. So modern zombies, then!

Cast/Crew: Directed/written by Jim Mickle, starring Nick Damici as Mister (the man), Connor Paolo as Martin (the boy), Kelly McGillis as Sister (the woman) and Danielle Harris as Belle (the girl).

Thoughts:
• What differentiates these Vamps from zombies? The protagonists use stakes (not guns), sometimes to the heart, sometimes to the head. There’s a scene where they bring up ‘classic’ ways to kill vampires, but it’s just a formality – this is a zombie flick.
• Looking at the map, someone’s marked an area as “Vampland” and another as “Vamped”. So 90s, brah! So gnarly!
• The humans travel from Shanty town to Shanty town, with a local group acting as law enforcement. I’m always a fan of modern people readjusting after a devastating sci-fi/horror event. Oddly, although society’s shrank to a small community, they still have full electricity (eg a working train; lights, beer, microphones etc).
• Killing via a stake eh? Sounds like crossbows or bow & arrows would be more commonplace, but it isn’t. Some townsfolk still use guns.
• There’s also the little matter of cannibals & religious zealots kidnapping people, so you’ve to be weary of people too.
• The three get ambushed by a local cult and get split up – an interesting direction, with good reasoning. The film trades in the old nun (Sister) for a pretty girl (Danielle Harris). Ha!
• Unfortunately, despite the great premise, it gets pretty boring. Martin (the boy) has a story arc of not being able to kill vamps – such a major hangup ends up being more annoying than this internal struggle you’re supposed to go along with.
• So that’s the other big problem – the film doesn’t get you to care about the characters, besides putting them in danger. They’re just not that likeable, they’re just regular, average people. So it’s not like Zombieland at all!
• Sorry to say, the fight sequences aren’t great – they’re one move pause, one move pause. It’s like shooting it went pretty poorly and they trimmed it down to the best they could do.
• Something I always like in zombie films, the vampires retain some memory and coherency despite their state.
• BEST bet in the film: the religious zealots broke up the town’s happy hoe-down by literally dropping vamps from a helicopter. Just great stuff! It’s like the film thought it was a bit boring and pressed some buttons to spruce it up. Worked a treat.

Overall, the premise of the movie is very interesting but it doesn’t come together - whatever pathos they’re trying to hit falls flat and there’s large portions of boring. It’s a shame because if you ran through the bullet-points of the plot on paper, it sounds like an excellent horror flick. This premise is definitely worth trying again. As it stands, it’s not great – Don’t recommend.

It needs to be said: SCREAM 1 is an iconic film; a fresh take on the slasher genre that crossed over into the mainstream. This blend of tongue-in-cheek 4th wall breaking in a horror hasn't been done this successfully before or since - sure the idea's been flirted with poorly in films like Leslie Vernon, but this film spawned imitations and even a BLOODY PARODY FILM FRANCHISE ("Scary Movie"). Let's find out why...

Plot: Mysterious murders happen one year after the death of Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell)’s mother. The masked killer begins to stalk and pick off Sidney and her friends one by one. It culminates in a slasher house party.

Cast/Crew:
What sets this film apart from so many (besides having straight-up comedy moments) is the cast are really likeable, have charm and elicit genuine laughs. The actors being strong, and well written is such a rarity in horror films. Great stuff. Well, everyone apart from the protagonist:
• Dewey (Ready To Rumble’s DAVID ARQUETTE! YES!) As the timid, well-meaning deputy police officer.
• Gale Weathers (What a wrestling name! Courtney Cox)
• Sidney (Neve Campbell), a sullen, self-obsessed prat. “”I’m sorry if my traumatised life is an inconvenience to you and your perfect existence” BOOOOO HISS **** YOU (run away).
• Billy (Neve Campbell’s creepy bug-eyed boyfriend)
• Stu – my favourite teenage douchebag in all of film. I LOVE THIS GUY. He’s so funny. He’s overly animated and quite farcical expressions but I think he’s hilarious, and has some stellar quotes in the film.
• Tatum (Ready to Rumble’s Rose McGowan, Stu’s uber-gorgeous girlfriend and friend of Neve Campbell)
• Randy (Jamie Kennedy – the horror buff)
• Ghostface’s voice was by Roger L. Jackson, whom was originally just a stand-in voice-over, and never allowed to meet the actors (to be more unsettling for the actors) but was on set to talk to them by phone.

Thoughts on the film:
• This film is like watching the first shoot promo. A killer taunting his victims using horror trivia is both hilarious and feels like an admission of a new age of film’s knowledgable fanatic following; the rise of the horror smarks.
• The cold open with Drew Barrymore getting a call from ghostface/being murdered is one of the most memorable scenes in film. Seriously. It’s great. I love how it turns from flirting, to creepy, to psychopathic rage.
• Even though the mask isn’t particularly scary, the gimmick of easy setup of the character works perfectly with the tone of the film.
• I loved how the killer went straight after the protagonist (Neve Campbell). No ****ing around, I’m here to kill you and try end this film early!
• Arquette is the “Meg” of the franchise, the butt of the jokes. However he comes off as a real nice guy. “What’s that constellation? I don’t know. That’s why I was asking you.”
• Great to see Courtney Cox! And The Fonz! All very likeable and popular actors. Well, 2/3 of them.
• It’s interesting watching this knowing who the killer(s) are. In the opening scenes, the height of Ghostface makes sense, you know which one’s which.
• The janitor’s wearing an inexplicable Freddy costume. They’re actually the clothes from the movie! Nice cameo, Wes Craven.
• A strong gimmick of the film is several characters’ knowledge of films and the horror genre, making analyses and references to many films along the way. It’s great on two levels.
• Fittingly they have a copy of Clerks above the tape player (a film with some great monologues about film kayfabe)
• The Killer isn’t physically strong and a bit clumsy (used for comic effect too) like running into an open fridge door and being afraid of thrown beer bottles. It also adds a dynamic of putting the ‘prey’ on an equal footing, apart from the knife, of course.
• I like how in general, Ghostface uses a knife. So much more intimiate than a gun (As the Joker says “Guns are too quick. You can’t savor all the… little emotions.”) The killer’s gotta chase you, catch you, and finish you!
• Randy has A RANT ABOUT THE RULES of surviving a horror film, to a crowd at a house party. Seriously. It’s amazing. #1 You can never have sex (crowd boos). #2 Never drink or do drugs (cheers & raises bottles). It’s a sin factor! #3 Never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, “I’ll be right back.” Because you won’t be back. Stu: I’m gettin’ another beer, you want one? Randy: Yeah, sure. Stu: I’ll be right back! (Crowd oohs!). A great meta bit where Sydney breaks #1 (loses her virginity) and wondering if that’d cost her in the film.
• A great gimmick of the news cameraman watching a “live” feed of the house, on a 30-second delay. Used for great effect as Randy watches Halloween, with Myers stalking Jamie Lee Curtis, shouting “Turn around Jamie!”, as Ghostface is actually stalking him. It also works as the actor’s name is Jamie Kennedy.
• There’s tons of false deaths and non-double taps (making sure the killer is dead) at the end. Randy does mention it (and the killer comes back to life) but it is a little much.

There must be some negatives?
• The big negative, which can’t be avoided with intentional (successful) comedy bits, is that tension can’t really exist. You don’t really care about who’s getting picked off because the characters don’t take the serial killings seriously.
• The stereotypical bitchy girls in the bathroom talk smack with Sydney in earshot. “Maybe she’s a slut just like her mother”.
• “This isn’t a movie. This is real life” BOOOOOOO
• That’s about it; just Neve Campbell’s character (as mentioned above). A self-absorbed, sulky wagon. Has consentual sex, then straight after, prys about his phone call. Really out of character just after having sex for the first time.

***EXTRA!***I love this film, so here's some of my other favourite quotes & scenes:
Ghostface/Drew Barrymore: “I wanna talk to you” “They’ve got 900 numbers for that.”
Billy: “It’s called tact, ****rag!”
Stu: “Liver alone! Get it? Leaver-alone!”
Arquette being at the front door whilst holding up the mask and screaming, amazing.
Policeman to Billy: “Why do you have a cellular telephone?” “Everyone’s got one.”
Courtney Cox summing up her character: “I could save a man’s life. Do you know what they’d do for my book sales?!”
Dating the 1996 film: Seeing Jamie Kennedy & the lads talking about horror formulas in videotape rental store.
Dating the 1996 film: The interview is shown as the matrix green text on Black screen
Randy: “There’s always some bull**** reason to kill your girlfriend”
Randy: “Motive? It’s the Millennium. Motives are incidental.”
Tatum: “Please don’t kill me mr ghost face! I wanna be in the sequel.”
Tatum’s death scene. Holy freezing nipples, Batman.
Stu: You (two) can use my parent’s bedroom. (*Sheepishly*) You guys can talk….or whatever!
Stu: (dying, pleading with Sid to not call the cops) Why’d I do it? “Peer pressure, I’m far too sensitive” (DIED!)
Stu: “You hit me with a phone you dick!” (This was an unintentional reaction and was kept in).

Scream Trivia:
• I’m sure you know this one, parody movie “Scary Movie” was the original working title of Scream.
• The use of Caller ID tripled after this film came out.
• Ghostface’s robe was going to be white, but that’s a little to close to the KKK, so they went with black.
• Billy mentions film productions using corn syrup dyed red as blood, and Scream does use corn syrup dyed red at the end.
• Arquette is actually younger than half of the main cast, who were playing teenagers 7 years younger than him. Scary Movie makes a joke about this.
• Linda Blair (The Exorcist) plays the reporter who says “People want to know, they have a right to know.”
• Arquette’s character was stabbed in the spine and was intended to be dead, but Craven filmed the rescue scene just in case he changed his mind, and did due to positive screen tests for Dewey.

Overall: A very enjoyable, easy watch. A rare treat to have a great, charming ensemble cast, with many jokes still hitting their mark after 19 years. I feel bad for the TV remake, trying to live up to this film. I’m sure you’ve already seen Scream but I highly recommend it.

Shaun of the Dead (2003)

Crew/Production: Directed by Edgar Wright, starring Simon Pegg (co-writer), Nick Frost, Kate Ashfield, Lucy Davis, Dylan Moran, Penelope Wilton and Bill Nighy.

Plot: 29-year old Shaun works in a dead-end job and just got dumped by his girlfriend. The zombie apocalypse happens, and his plan is to grab his mum, girlfriend and hole-up in the local pub until all this blows over *winks and takes a sup of a pint*

Thoughts on the film:
• The first of Wright & Pegg’s “Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy” (named as cornettos appeared in the movies; strawberry (red) for horror/zombies here, original (blue) for police in Hot Fuzz, and mint-choc (green) for the sci-fi aspect of The World’s End. They have Cornettos in America, right?
• Where do I start? This is a comedy in a zombie package (zom-com), tightly edited, relentless with jokes and memorable scenes until the finale.
• The most charming aspect of the film is Pegg & Frost; who used to live in an apartment together, which the apartment scenes are based on. You can tell these two are huge mates and it crosses onto the screen. Frost cheering him up doing his monkey impression, arguing of which records to use/break as weapons, getting on each other’s case about how to act zombie — it’s all top quality stuff. Even little things like drunkenly humming music on the way home and the premise of mistaking zombies for drunkies is brilliant. Perfectly captures a lazy do-nothing mate that you love dearly. I’ll just put my favourite quotes at the end.
• They do not waste time in the movie. The tell you it’s a zom-com with the opening credits of people, in sync, acting like mindless zombies doing mundane tasks; and have zombies shuffle-dancing whilst the movie title is displayed on the ground. If they need to get exposition over (like Shaun being dumped), Frost will be in the background doing something else, hurling expletives that fit into the conversation. “With Ed around we never get a chance to..” “f**k!”. The absolute best use of time, using humour whilst getting plot-points across.
• Noticeably, unlike a lot of comedies which just use dialogue for jokes, there are a lot of visual gags and plot points; telling the story of the infection without really any spending any time on it. The whole apocalypse is secondary to Shaun and what he needs to get his life back together. Great use of callbacks, both dialogue and visual: Loved the nice long tracking shot walking to the corner shop to get a cornetto, and then a curtailed long shot again showing it’s now zombified. That Shaun doesn’t notice makes it funnier.
• The trademark POV/fast editing (eg of brushing teeth) really sell how they’ve trimmed all possible fat off the movie. As is giving you the bare essentials in an inventive way, flicking through channels, where the audio humorously strings together to give you the plot. Excellent use of time. The repeating of the fast-editing montage of Shaun’s plan (which all end with him smiling, winking and taking the first sup of a pint) is genius. There’s also more clever use of the camera, like staying with Ed to go check out if the zombies are still at the window (they are) and coming back to his original spot, or the camera staying where it is as Pegg walks in and out of shot as he uses a child’s ladder to see over fences. Lots of interesting shots that aren’t in the way but add to the pacing and variety.

• Wright/Pegg’s now trademark quick-cut action scenes are in all their glory during Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” synchronized pool-cue beating of the owner. It’s magic. As is Pegg’s Matrix nip-up after getting knocked down!
• This film has strong ties to the TV show Spaced, which is also directed by Wright and starring Pegg and Frost. There’s a scene where the survivors meet an alternative group of survivors, which pass one another, sharing a shot together (eg Dawn and Tim from the office). They were also able to get actual news presenters to play themselves giving zombie news bulletins which is very cool to see.
• They show TV footage of talk show Trisha and other British TV shows, and later, the same shows and how they’ve incorporated zombies into them “I married a monster” “Do you take it to bed?” etc. Wonderful. As is a split-second Chris Martin of Coldplay on TV for “zomb-aid”.
• There’s a few references to horror films in there too, like British horror 28 Days Later (dismissing rage-infected monkeys) and Ed saying to Shaun’s mum “we’re coming to get you Barbara” ala Night of the Living Dead.
• Did you know, this film was delayed coming out in the UK for 2 weeks as it was scheduled to release at the same time as Day of the Dead.
• Also, when Pegg was asked why they used slow zombies, “because death isn’t an energy drink.”
• The film was shot for $8m which is brilliant, only a few small bits where it’s obvious they skimped out, like the pool cue beating the Owner has thick pads on, and Pegg tries to not hurt the extras and so hits most of them in the shoulder as opposed to head (and nobody else strikes a zombie) with a stunt-cricket bat. They were all cast from his previous show’s fan club, which is very cool.
• It’s not as obvious first time around but I like how Shaun’s mum quietly favours her left wrist after a ‘close’ attack.
• Black Books’ Dylan Morgan plays Shaun’s ex-girlfriend’s flat-mate, and is excellent as a sneaky meddler and an annoying pseudo-intellectual/twat.

Other Favourite Bits of Dialogue:
• F**k-a-doodle-doo!
• Leaving the door open, a zombie walks in, comedy scream
• Going through records to decide which ones to use: “Stone Roses?” No. “Second coming?” “I liked it!”
• “Why?” “Because I love her!” “Gay!”
• Did you know that on several occasions… he touched me? *long pause* That wasn’t true. Made it up, shouldn’t have, sorry.
• “Transport?” “Yes! Well no, but I passed my test.”
• Bickering over zombie acting lessons: “Who made you king of the zombies?” (*groans*) “Yeah that's pretty good.” *Smiles contently*

Overall: Very tight, well-written, well-paced, upbeat, hilarious movie. I can't stress how hard it is to make a funny and engaging horror/comedy. Never pushes too hard on melodrama and has a heartwarming, fitting finish. Thoroughly excellent, iconic zom-com. HIGHLY recommend. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)

Previous Reviews:
PA Franchise Overview: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=82772190&postcount=28
PA1 http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=82772214&postcount=29
PA2 http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=82795880&postcount=30
PA3 http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=82872678&postcount=31
PA4 http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=83009303&postcount=32
PA4b http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=89745436&postcount=52

Cast/Crew: No-one you’d know (besides the actresses playing young Katie and Kristy). Directed by Gregory Plotkin (editor for PA 1-4)

Plot: Paranormal found footage film. It’s 2008! Ryan has his brother Mike over to stay at his house, then paranormal activity occurs, targeting his young daughter Leila.

Quick run down of the camera gimmicks of the film:
PA1 – one static camera in the bedroom
PA2 – multiple security cameras in/around the house
PA3 – multiple static cameras + one on a Rotating fan axis (panning left to right)
PA4 – multiple static cameras + webcam + Microsoft Kinect (which can sense demon’s motion – boo! hiss!)
PA4b The Marked Ones – handheld + magic gateway door
PA4c The Ghost Dimension – 2 cameras, 1 can see the paranormal activity + ‘live reading’ VHS + magic gateway door

It’s worth revisiting the rules of the PA franchise that you need to accept to enjoy them, which is almost all still completely relevant:
1) It’s found footage spliced together, from a hand-held and security cameras.
2) The ghost/demon is invisible and so there’s little to no CG.
3) Cameras are set up around the house and you are asked to actively “monitor” the room for changes
4) The films work on a day/night cycle. Scares happen at night, footage is reviewed during the day. This works twofold, giving the audience a chance to relax after “monitoring” the night footage and also anticipating the night-time as ‘scary time’.
5) Attacks (aka jump scares, bangs, light-flickers, rumbling noises with abrupt stops) start off subtle (things moving, stopping), at night, eventually during the day, and continue in increasing violence to the crescendo at the end of the film.
6) There’s a bit of occult storyline thrown in to tie the films together.
7) No we can’t leave the house we don’t have the budget for that.

Thoughts on the film:
• Before we start, screw you and your amazing house!! Lol. It’s massive and gorgeous. They explain that the house was suspiciously cheap and the realtor can’t be found at the agency given (i.e. they were groomed into buying the house).
• Apparently this is the last one but the poster and trailer don’t explicitly state such, so it’s just a last-minute ploy to put a few more bums on seats (bums on seats laddy, bums on seats!). They’ve started doing spin-off names (ie The Marked Ones, The Ghost Dimension) instead of numbered entries though. Bollocks it’s the last – I’ll believe it when I don’t see it!
• I really liked how the film got straight to it, no company logos or anything.
• The gimmick this time around is that they mysteriously find a custom camera and box of tapes among Xmas decorations, which can actually pick up evil disturbances audio/visually, which looks like light fog/ash, taking form as a humanoid when it gets stronger/denser. So whilst this gimmick is new and interesting, it’s also a lot less scary as you know where the ‘bad stuff’ is happening — so it’s actually a bad idea, undermining a lot of the scare-factor. It looks cool though.
• As always, you’re asked to monitor the footage (which cuts between a normal camera and the special camera). Instead of being innocuous activity, it’s big sweeping obvious movements; which is appreciated (since I’m not that observant with these things) but it further strips tension away from the film.
• The trade-off is we have to watch the film through an 80s arcade filter, which is grand.
• Being able to see the ghost means that the film now has tons of special effects shots – which is very much against the PA as a whole – I kept thinking how expensive this must’ve been in comparison ($10m as opposed to $3-5m, which is actually much less than expected, and brought in $78m worldwide). In general the haunting looks good until they throw a blanket over it and we get a naff CGI ghost. Real X-Pac heat there.
• I love the other really cool gimmick they have – watching Katie/Kristi’s vhs tapes of training sessions in the cult (trying to ‘see’ the other side), and Katie describes Ryan’s daughter’s current room – ****ing awesome. They revisit it pushing the kayfabe further (achoo! bless you! and seeing another child in an impossible time). A fantastic gimmick. Also assuming these tapes aren’t magic (they’ve already been recorded) it gives the sense of predeterminism, that whatever Ryan’s family were going to do has already happened, so they can’t change their fate. That’s not brought up but I thought the implication was a great little touch.
• There’s lots of false (intentional) fake-out shocks, as well as the ‘knocked something over’/pan away and back again, oh! shots. Combined with being able to see the ghost it’s very difficult to build up tension.
• They absolutely realise what’s going on (ghost called Tobi is talking to/has targeted their daughter causing her to walk around entranced), and their research is bang on the money, but they laugh off the gravity of the situation and just continue to monitor. It’s a bit ridiculous (to not GTFO immediately) but I did appreciate them logically taking action when they feel it’s an actual threat – ring a priest; who tells them Leila’s haunted so running won’t do any good, sleep in daughter’s room on the floor; and go to a hotel anyway when scared.
• We get more exposition about the cult (which I love hearing about) and revisit the magic doorway into another time/place; which explains how kids can disappear/move great distances quickly; much appreciated.
• Big-breasted blonde babysitter (she serves no role besides being eye candy – she bounces as she meets Mike for the first time) optimises Feng Shui in houses for a living. JAYSUS, there’s an evil supernatural spirit in the house and you didn’t notice?!
• The cheap camera + looking to Christmas lights mean LIGHT STREAKING!
• Some real groaners/generic horror bits, e.g. daughter Leila sitting talking into the mirror. It’s a bit on the nose, as well as the ghost hand in mirror, which then breaks it.
• I always appreciate films trying to slot themselves the overall story of the franchise, like we see footage from previous PA films, they use this knowledge to try help them. They also come across a flyer for Hunter (so we hear a little more about Katie after abducting him)
• The big finish is the priest requests they try an extermination, which after some good build up is ultimately not very good.
• Small continuity problems – They show the end of PA3 but they change it, to picking up the camera and following the girls. They also say the house burned down in 1992 despite previously saying it burnt down after the girls escape to Grandma Lois’ house. These are very small things though, I just thought I’d mention it.

The alternate ending scene
Overall: An easy watch, a solid gimmick but not particularly scary. The new ‘see the activity’ gimmick is fresh but also strips tension; the ‘live reading’ VHS tapes are great. It’s not very good but it’s what you can expect for a sequel of the franchise. You’re not missing out though, can’t recommend.

The Veil (2016)

Cast/Crew: Directed by Phil Joanou (who directed a lot of U2 music videos, and The Rock’s Gridiron Gang) and written/produced by Robert Ben Grant. Lots of bigger names than you’d expect star in this horror film – Jessica Alba, Lily Rabe and Tom Jane.

Plot: 25 Years after a mass cult suicide, the only survivor agrees to go back to the Veil – the Cult’s compound – and uncover it’s secret.

Thoughts on the film:
• Not to be confused with the 2015 action/adventure movie of the same name about warring tribes.
• The film cost $4m, or 2/3 of what it cost to make Tommy Wiseau’s The Room!
• The background of the film is based on the very real cult groups, mostly Jonestown (The People’s Temple), where in 1978 in Guyana, South America, 909 Americans committed mass suicide, urged by Jim Jones in order to support socialism), and the “Heaven’s Gate” cult, which in 1997, 39 people committed mass suicide in an attempt to reach an alien space craft. In the film it’s “Heaven’s Veil” and their leader “Jim Jacobs” (Tom Jane).
• Jessica Alba (aka Maggie) is a documentary filmmaker who gets Lily Rabe (Sarah) to go back to The Veil to recover any uncovered footage, and try to understand what happened at the compound. Sarah agrees, wanting to understand why she was left alive.
• The thrust of the film is that the crew get stranded at The Veil, as odd occurrences and horrible accidents start a-happenin’.
• Why won’t they leave? Alba’s dad killed himself a few days after the raid 25 years ago, so she’s looking for answers too, despite someone/something knocking off members of her crew.
• A big point – It’s very difficult to show a cult leader, and have it not look like an actor playing the typical 70s cult leader. This falls straight into the trap and never escapes – we get to see footage of him but it’s all in flashbacks, so no time to really sell you on it. Jane overacts and isn’t convincing – I never forgot it was an actor throwing out tired semi-scripture. The other problem is that Tom Jane is not charming in this role (he absolutely should – he’s basically playing a con-man) so he looks, sounds and feels quite hokey. Sorry Tom!
• Worth mentioning, when Jane was cast in the film (he previously made a short Punisher film with the director), his part was re-written from fundamentalist Christian to occultist.
• The film is shot as a regular movie, but since the characters are a film crew, it switches to their footage intermittently, which is this awful kayfabe obvious “I’m a documentary” footage, needlessly zooming in and out. The Veil was originally supposed to be a found footage film but the team thought it was played out, and re-wrote it as a more traditional film.
• The other stylistic flub is using a mild wide angle lens for most of the film. I can see that they were trying to make it otherworldly (like walls at the sides of the shot would bend) but it’s not just a few shots, it’s most of the film, which gets annoying, seeing characters and the ends being stretched very tall for no reason.
• Horror wise, it’s a ton of jump scares, especially POV skeletons opening their mouths and zooming into the screen.
• Our team search for an undiscovered room (where the cult filmed footage) and happen across an undisturbed house — not found by the FBI because it was across a small lake which you can walk across. Seems like a real shabby investigation, considering there was a prominent unaccounted for body in there, important to the case.
• Something I always like, they find the home movie reels and watch them, filling in the back story. So a lot of the present day film is inter-spliced with watching Jim’s propaganda/video records. His believes he can achieve transcendence – separating the soul from the body of himself and his followers, and live forever…It’s a shame Tom Jane’s acting is so hammy, as these are the most engaging parts of the film, chronicling his crazy experiments, scary leaps of faith, and getting his congregation to believe.
• Oddly, Jim’s 1970’s home movies are presented in pristine, vividly colourful, widescreen HD, and they put in film burn transitions at the stand and end. It’s a phoney stylistic choice. Watch Sinister for how to make super 8mm footage/home made snuff films look amazing and feel gritty.
• From here on in, the film turns into a ghost/slasher flick (they’re in basically a cabin in the woods!) with cast members being stalked and knocked off, until the big revelation and finish.
• Some X-Pac heat at we get Jessica Biel in a crucifixion pose – something nobody asked or wanted to see. Maybe she thought it would be this iconic, lasting image but it comes across as tasteless cheat heat, done just to get a reaction out of people.

Why would you watch this film?
Apart from the wide-angle lens and zoom-in, zoom-out spliceys, it’s shot nicely and doesn’t look cheap. There are some big name actors and religious cult based on reality is fertile, fresher ground. You watch the old home movies alongside Alba’s crew seeing if Jim Jacobs can actually do the impossible – separate the soul and the body.

Overall: Average, completely run-of-the-mill horror film. Disappointed to see it squander having such a big-name cast with lazy shocks and acting from Tom Jane. For once the trailer is an accurate portrayal of the movie! Avoid.