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09-06-2019, 22:06   #3436
trashcan
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Took me a while, very good!
I'm embarrassed at how long it took me
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09-06-2019, 22:19   #3437
monty_python
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Took me a while, very good!
What's the answer?
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09-06-2019, 22:48   #3438
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What's the answer?
It's part of it anyway
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09-06-2019, 23:06   #3439
Gloomtastic!
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What's the answer?
How many letters in What, Never and Always?
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10-06-2019, 20:22   #3440
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A gentleman is unable to book his usual lady from the agency, but they tell him they'll send a lovely substitute.

They send Agnes who has had a few kids and been around the block a few times.



They get down to business and he mentions things are a little 'slack'.

"Ah yes, one of my clients likes me to wear a mini skirt and no knickers.

He also likes it in the countryside.

I was climbing a gate when I got caught on some barbed wire."





"How far across the field were you before you realised?"
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11-06-2019, 20:33   #3441
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A truck loaded up with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the M50 this morning.

There was no congestion for the next eight hours!
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11-06-2019, 20:41   #3442
Sebastian Dangerfield
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Joker picks up a vase and smashes it over Batmans head. Batman shouts "T'Pau!"
Joker: "Dont you mean Kapow?"
Batman: "No, T'Pau... You had china in your hand"
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12-06-2019, 19:03   #3443
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My hamster died today.









Fell asleep at the wheel.
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18-06-2019, 18:43   #3444
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Went to a strange christening yesterday.

Instead of holy water the priest poured four cans of lager on the child’s head.



Apparently the baby had been Fostered






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18-06-2019, 22:07   #3445
Dtp1979
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God bless ya. Only for you this thread would be gone long ago
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19-06-2019, 00:10   #3446
Princess Consuela Bananahammock
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Xerox and Yamaha to merge - new company will make reproductive organs.
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19-06-2019, 07:48   #3447
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Little boy - Mam , can I lick the bowl ??

Mum -No, flush it like everyone else !
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20-06-2019, 17:07   #3448
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God bless ya. Only for you this thread would be gone long ago




Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy.

As he nears the top of the ladder, Paddy starts shaking and feeling dizzy.

He calls down to Murphy: "I think I'll have to go home, Murph. I've gone all giddy and I feel sick".

Murphy asks: 'Have yer got Vertigo, Paddy?"



"No", Paddy replies, "I only live round the corner".
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21-06-2019, 08:48   #3449
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My little Spanish nephew cant say please !!


That's poor for four...……
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21-06-2019, 08:49   #3450
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My wife was invited to a hair washing party ……

She doesn't want to go, but cant think of an excuse ………………..
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