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Ridiculous things your teachers said in school.

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    #32
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    Mid 1950s a teacher told us that by the time we were adults machines would be doing so much that the biggest problem people would have was how to fill all their spare time. He got that one wrong!


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    #33
    byhookorbycrook
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 12,475 Mod ✭✭✭✭byhookorbycrook


    Rather old nun: Left handed people are evil
    The thread you waste when you sew will be measured against your soul when you die and if your soul is lighter you'll go to hell.


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    #34
    0byme75341jo28
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,571 ✭✭✭0byme75341jo28


    Rosa Fluffy Bacteria wrote: »
    Mid 1950s a teacher told us that by the time we were adults machines would be doing so much that the biggest problem people would have was how to fill all their spare time. He got that one wrong!

    And people have been saying that every day since! :p


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    #35
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Working class people don't want to go to college.


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    #36
    Paramite Pie
    Registered Users Posts: 1,312 ✭✭✭Paramite Pie


    Christ, some of ye must have been awful pricks in school!! I've never seen a teacher say **** like that!


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    #37
    fleet_admiral
    Registered Users Posts: 3,747 ✭✭✭fleet_admiral


    My TG teacher told a big boned girl that she looked like she was fond of potatoes. Her father and brothers mashed him up


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    #38
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    Paramite Pie wrote: »
    Christ, some of ye must have been awful pricks in school!! I've never seen a teacher say **** like that!

    well...I had a teacher tell me id never amount to anything:pac:

    a carrer guidance meeting where I was half thinking of going to collage but too shy to say...so was handed a leaflet on apprenticeships and told try find one:rolleyes:

    repeatedly took on Fridays not to bother coming back Mondays and asked why I wasn't expelled/thrown out yet


    * I may have been a disruptive influence on others


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    #39
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Paramite Pie wrote: »
    Christ, some of ye must have been awful pricks in school!! I've never seen a teacher say **** like that!


    If you're a teacher in Ireland nowadays -

    "In Ireland, students tell you what to do!"


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    #40
    Mr Rhode Island Red
    Registered Users Posts: 746 ✭✭✭Mr Rhode Island Red


    I'll wring your neck and then I'll ring your parents


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    #41
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    fleet_admiral wrote: »
    My TG teacher told a big boned girl that she looked like she was fond of potatoes. Her father and brothers mashed him up

    The teacher who spouted the working class bs got a hiding too luckily. Best thing for people like that really.


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    #42
    herisson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,676 ✭✭✭✭herisson


    My friend had a few pairs of headphones on his pockets. So he had a few wires sticking out.

    Principal at the time goes

    "Jesus you look like a terrorist with all those wires sticking out of ya"


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    #43
    Kev_2012
    Closed Accounts Posts: 976 ✭✭✭Kev_2012


    *One of the lads said something funny and I couldn't stop laughing*

    Teacher : "Kev_2012!!!, shut your mouth!!! Or I'll shut it for you with this! (while pointing to his elbow). I won't go around the desks, I'll go through them!!!"

    I laughed twice as hard!


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    #44
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Another teacher directed "Hey yellow fella" at an Asian student. My teachers were classy people:(


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    #45
    Her name was Lola
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 94 ✭✭Her name was Lola


    Could do better.


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    #46
    mickstupp
    Registered Users Posts: 1,764 ✭✭✭mickstupp


    "The Junior Cert is the most important exam of your life!"

    ...

    "The Junior Cert meant nothing, the Leaving Cert is the most important exam of your life!"

    15 years later I realise the Leaving Cert meant nothing, because I went to college as a mature student and got a degree that I couldn't possibly have gotten into with my Leaving Cert points.


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    #47
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    The teacher who spouted the working class bs got a hiding too luckily. Best thing for people like that really.


    How did you survive at all eddy in a 'working class' school with that attitude? It's the sort of attitude that's a self fulfilling prophecy and does a person no good!

    I suppose it was hard to take my secondary school English teacher seriously when he walked into school in his banana colored shell suit! We pretty much spent the whole class breathless from laughing at the poor guy! Still though, if it weren't for his ineptitude (he made Mr. Bean look like Albert Einstein), I wouldn't have been encouraged to use my own initiative to study instead, because we sure as hell weren't learning anything in class!

    My mother taught me in 3rd and 4th class in primary school, the amount of times I came out with "Mam" instead of "Teacher"... Jaysus :rolleyes: :o


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    #48
    Virtanen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭Virtanen


    Went to a CBS school where an actual Christian Brother taught. Unlike most, he was sound out, always taking the p1ss out of others and having a laugh with the class

    One guy in our class broke both his arms, and was henceforth known as the Two-Armed Bandit thanks to him

    He'd also proudly declare "this is my school" due to his Christian Brother status. He'd say that every now and then, but especially every time the Principal or VP would drop by, just after they leave the room

    Then there was also "laptop dancing", which he claimed went down in strip clubs, something to do with computers, can't remember exactly

    Other famous shtick's included trying to smoke a stick of chalk, threatening people with a 1m ruler, and dancing on a picture of Margaret Thatcher


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    #49
    nullzero
    Registered Users Posts: 16,359 ✭✭✭✭nullzero
    ****


    A leaving cert biology teacher told us that the reason "all black people are lazy" isn't because they want to be but rather because they all have malaria. Although he didn't refer to them as black people I think "darkies" was the term he used, usually after beginning another word beginning with an N and correcting himself.

    Glazers Out!



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    #50
    Her name was Lola
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 94 ✭✭Her name was Lola


    Leaving cert biology teacher told me Ventolin inhalers contain oxygen. No amount of telling her that they contain the chemical salbutamol could convince her. I got an A1 in Biology, despite her genius. ;)


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    #51
    Her name was Lola
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 94 ✭✭Her name was Lola


    Also got an A1 in Chemistry - but that was a different teacher heh heh.


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    #52
    Her name was Lola
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 94 ✭✭Her name was Lola


    Oh and my Junior cert history teacher told my parents that she thought I was a genius. My Junior Cert Art teacher told me that I could easily do Art at Leaving Cert.
    I think these people didn't even know who they were talking about.


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    #53
    fleet_admiral
    Registered Users Posts: 3,747 ✭✭✭fleet_admiral


    Her name was Lola wrote: »
    Also got an A1 in Chemistry - but that was a different teacher heh heh.
    Do you have an iphone?


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    #54
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    How did you survive at all eddy in a 'working class' school with that attitude? It's the sort of attitude that's a self fulfilling prophecy and does a person no good!

    I suppose it was hard to take my secondary school English teacher seriously when he walked into school in his banana colored shell suit! We pretty much spent the whole class breathless from laughing at the poor guy! Still though, if it weren't for his ineptitude (he made Mr. Bean look like Albert Einstein), I wouldn't have been encouraged to use my own initiative to study instead, because we sure as hell weren't learning anything in class!

    My mother taught me in 3rd and 4th class in primary school, the amount of times I came out with "Mam" instead of "Teacher"... Jaysus :rolleyes: :o

    What self fulfilling prophecy? I didn't say violence never solved anything.


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    #55
    Her name was Lola
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 94 ✭✭Her name was Lola


    fleet_admiral wrote: »
    Do you have an iphone?

    Eh?


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    #56
    Chancer3001
    Registered Users Posts: 5,480 ✭✭✭Chancer3001


    Got taught how to baptise a baby in religion.

    Then a baby with no head.

    Then a baby with two heads.

    Got told I should be a poet or a rocket designer.

    Got called a chancer.


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    #57
    Emmacash
    Registered Users Posts: 52 ✭✭Emmacash


    Had a teacher in third class who, if you made a mistake of any kind, would screech at you-
    ''you're a D.O.P.E. DOPE!!!! What are you?''
    And you'd have to stand up, face the class and and repeat-
    ''I'm a D.O.P.E. dope''
    Fairly humiliating. 'Oul bint!


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    #58
    podgemonster
    Registered Users Posts: 2,228 ✭✭✭podgemonster


    I remember my geography teacher starring out the window during class at the new first years in the yard. He turned to us, sunlight gleaming on the burst blood vessels on his purple faced, his vice hoarse from a evening of drinking and smoking.

    "Lads, I have to be very careful when I say this, but t'won't be long before there'll be a black man in the Dáil"


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    #59
    AngryHippie
    Registered Users Posts: 2,625 ✭✭✭AngryHippie


    hairyslug wrote: »
    Our headmaster is primary school told us that it was good not to eat for a day every now and again so that we could give our stomachs a break

    There is actually quite a swathe of empirical evidence that periodical fasting is very beneficial to human beings at any age. Considering the epidemic of little fatties parked in front of their playstations, it turns out that your headmaster, though a little bonkers, may have been on to something.


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    #60
    _Whimsical_
    Registered Users Posts: 7,955 ✭✭✭_Whimsical_


    I had an Irish teacher who took great exception to anyone having their own opinion on poetry and literature and including it in answers given up to her.

    Her reasoning : "What is it with children and thinking these days? None of you have thought anything someone hasn't thought before,no one wants to know what YOU think. Everything you need to know is in the book, just learn what it says in the book.".

    Eventually she insisted that instead of prefacing answers with "I think" or "In my opinion" all class questions and written questions had to start with "It says in the book that...".

    Sadly it was a strategy that worked very well for the leaving cert but it killed the subject for me completely despite my good result.


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    #61
    ItsShane
    Registered Users Posts: 140 ✭✭ItsShane


    My old tech graph teacher was a notorious bull-****ter.

    He claims:
    *He designed the nose of the concord and decided to teach in the the public school, instead of retiring.
    *He was on a plane one time, and it went in to a dive (must have been that darn dodgy design of his) but luckily he had a laptop at hand. He used his laptop to prevent the plane from crashing.


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