Haven't touched a drop in...

dancingabbap · 07-04-2021 10:30pm

Sigma Force wrote: »

Well done! Have you access to a good supportive gp?

Thanks! Yeah I have a good GP and support group which has helped. Day 17

Tinwhistle* · 11-04-2021 11:43am

Hope everyone is well and taking one day at a time. I quit alcohol on July 3rd 2018 and I've never looked back. I'm going to my brother's wedding in August, it will be the first wedding without many glasses of wine being taken. I'll have a great time and will remember the whole day! Can't wait to see the state of the others at breakfast (smug emoji)

eddie73 · 18-04-2021 10:16am

10 years this August.
Will be staying off it one day at a time going forward.

The temptation to drink is no longer there, but has been replaced on occasion by a very sneaky mundane desire to drink in a split second. The forgetting of history has a lot to do with this danger. I would recommend everyone to keep their guard up and to avoid places where you used to drink or that you associate with drink. Avoiding needless confrontation is also very important. Good luck everyone!

24-04-2021 1:56am

I’m not a drink nor an alcoholic I’m 33 now and I’ve never had a drink in my life don’t know why but it just never happened nor did I want to

whitey1 · 24-04-2021 1:51pm

Tinwhistle* wrote: »

Hope everyone is well and taking one day at a time. I quit alcohol on July 3rd 2018 and I've never looked back. I'm going to my brother's wedding in August, it will be the first wedding without many glasses of wine being taken. I'll have a great time and will remember the whole day! Can't wait to see the state of the others at breakfast (smug emoji)

One thing that may help get through the day is if you can escape for an hour or two.....and then come back....no one would even miss you. Depending on where the reception is you could go somewhere for a walk or even a cup of coffee

While not a wedding I was at an all day drinking event last year with people I used to drink with.

I left and went back to the hotel and watched a premiership game and they hardly even knew I was fone

Sigma Force · 26-04-2021 10:53am

Just want to get peoples honest opinions again, my oh is almost 4 years sober after decades of drinking. Now he's taken to drinking the 0.5% non alcoholic beers because he likes it, because it makes him feel more sociable truthfully I think he wants to fit in and it gives him more confidence. He won't have full on conversations or stay anywhere long if he doesn't have it. This worries me. He went out Friday to a family member who wanted advice about giving up the drink, he stayed late (usually can't get him to stay up part 9pm) and came home full of chat. He was drinking the non alcoholic beers and decided to have the rest at home. We had an argument I was just so stressed it brought everything bavk and that horrible sick feeling in my stomach.i made it clear I don't want it in the house. I explained how I feel it could potentially lead to a relapse.. I know this is debatable because some folk can carry on this way and they never relapse. But I know him well enough he was defending it making out that I was making a big deal out of nothing. His attitude changed when he was out if he's late he'd always phone or text me but when he used to drink he wouldn't. I just noticed little patterns of behaviour that were all too familiar. I know maybe I am over reacting and making a big fuss about it is not the way to go. But he was trying to justify it all the way and I just don't believe him. To be honest I love him so much and we've been through a lot but I'm not sure if I can live on the edge like this anymore. He still won't talk about any future plans, it's like he wants to have a relationship but is afraid fully commit.. Been together 8 years for God sake he should have made up his mind and be sure of what he wants by now. I feel like I'm in limbo all the time. Maybe he'll never drink again but honestly can u guys tell me from your own experience how non alcoholic drinks made u feel if they do help or if its a slippery slope? Sorry for rambling but I'm just feeling really crap having all those fears coming back after 4 years.

whitey1 · 26-04-2021 11:38am

Sigma Force wrote: »

Just want to get peoples honest opinions again, my oh is almost 4 years sober after decades of drinking. Now he's taken to drinking the 0.5% non alcoholic beers because he likes it, because it makes him feel more sociable truthfully I think he wants to fit in and it gives him more confidence. He won't have full on conversations or stay anywhere long if he doesn't have it. This worries me. He went out Friday to a family member who wanted advice about giving up the drink, he stayed late (usually can't get him to stay up part 9pm) and came home full of chat. He was drinking the non alcoholic beers and decided to have the rest at home. We had an argument I was just so stressed it brought everything bavk and that horrible sick feeling in my stomach.i made it clear I don't want it in the house. I explained how I feel it could potentially lead to a relapse.. I know this is debatable because some folk can carry on this way and they never relapse. But I know him well enough he was defending it making out that I was making a big deal out of nothing. His attitude changed when he was out if he's late he'd always phone or text me but when he used to drink he wouldn't. I just noticed little patterns of behaviour that were all too familiar. I know maybe I am over reacting and making a big fuss about it is not the way to go. But he was trying to justify it all the way and I just don't believe him. To be honest I love him so much and we've been through a lot but I'm not sure if I can live on the edge like this anymore. He still won't talk about any future plans, it's like he wants to have a relationship but is afraid fully commit.. Been together 8 years for God sake he should have made up his mind and be sure of what he wants by now. I feel like I'm in limbo all the time. Maybe he'll never drink again but honestly can u guys tell me from your own experience how non alcoholic drinks made u feel if they do help or if its a slippery slope? Sorry for rambling but I'm just feeling really crap having all those fears coming back after 4 years.

Without knowing what you’ve been through, on face value, it looks like you are completely over reacting.

I gave up drinking for health reasons and Heineken Zero made that incredibly easy, as Heineken was my go to

With my job I do a lot of socializing and 99% of people don’t realize I’m not drinking alcohol

One possible solution is to spend about €60 and buy him a six of every non alcoholic beer out there. Ask him to pick the one he likes best and make that his go to, instead of the 0.05.

If he can’t do that for you, it’s time to reassess your relationship

Sigma Force · 26-04-2021 11:54am

whitey1 wrote: »

Without knowing what you’ve been through, on face value, it looks like you are completely over reacting.

I gave up drinking for health reasons and Heineken Zero made that incredibly easy, as Heineken was my go to

With my job I do a lot of socializing and 99% of people don’t realize I’m not drinking alcohol

One possible solution is to spend about €60 and buy him a six of every non alcoholic beer out there. Ask him to pick the one he likes best and make that his go to, instead of the 0.05.

If he can’t do that for you, it’s time to reassess your relationship

Are there ones out there with literally 0%?

whitey1 · 26-04-2021 12:04pm

Sigma Force wrote: »

Are there ones out there with literally 0%?

Yes

Heineken and Bud are two that I know of that have ZERO Alcohol

https://www.healthline.com/health/addiction/whats-the-deal-with-zero-alcohol-beer-is-it-sober-friendly#8

Feenix · 26-04-2021 12:06pm

Sigma Force wrote: »

Are there ones out there with literally 0%?

Yeah (Heineken Zero for example) but it makes no difference, just the .5% ones taste a little better I think.

petes · 26-04-2021 12:15pm

It's not an over reaction. At this point your partner has actually relapsed imo. Can only see one way of this going if they continue.

Giving up booze for health reasons is one thing but being sober because you have an addiction is completely different.

Sigma Force · 26-04-2021 12:47pm

Thanks for the responses. In his mind he's handling it well and thinks he won't drink coz he won't let himself do that yet the whole weekend the combination of drinking the non alcoholic stuff.. Maybe it's coz of all the sugar in it.. And staying up all night he couldn't function over the whole weekend. Now he feels sick and its of course nothing to do with that

Sigma Force · 26-04-2021 12:49pm

Thanks for the responses. In his mind he's handling it well and thinks he won't drink coz he won't let himself do that yet the whole weekend the combination of drinking the non alcoholic stuff.. Maybe it's coz of all the sugar in it.. And staying up all night he couldn't function over the whole weekend. Now he feels sick and its of course nothing to do with that

Foweva Awone · 26-04-2021 1:06pm

Personally I think it's dangerous territory. Any professional I know in the field strongly advises against these non-alcohol/low-alcohol drinks as they so often lead to cravings. I've seen it happen with friends of mine, sitting in a beer garden knocking them back with friends and feeling great, then next thing they know they're back queuing outside the offy at 10am waiting for it to open.

To me it's complacency. He needs to remember where he was in the height of his addiction, where he was desperate to get a day sober. Say if he was told then he could have the gift of long-term sobriety - but the price he had to pay was never to drink a low-alcohol beer or it could/would lead to relapse? He'd be like, hell no, why would I even take that chance! So what's changed? Has he forgotten how bad it was, how hard it was to dig himself out of that hole?

Obviously I don't know your partner, but I do know addiction. He's chasing something, some feelings he thinks he's missing out on, and there's a real chance of relapse if he's not careful.

JupiterKid · 26-04-2021 2:30pm

@Sigma Force - I would agree with Foreva Awone that it’s certainly getting into risky territory for your partner to drink non-alcoholic beers.

I know from my own personal experience in recovery that I actually relapsed back on the drink twice after drinking non-alco beers (very few are completely 0.0%) - both at party events with friends where I’d been drinking the non alc beers to “fit in” and on both occasions I was like “f it, I may as well have the real beers” - one relapse that very night, the other a few days later. Both bad outcomes where I ended up at A&E to be detoxed, yet again...

My current addiction counselor and ones I’ve had in the past would also be very wary of a recovering alcoholic drinking non alc beer. It’s the association of the drinking that can start a real craving. But then again, I have friends in recovery who do have the odd non alc beer and stay on the wagon, and I myself did have a few non alc beers a few times before and didn’t relapse. But now, nearly 3 years fully sober, I’m not going to risk my recovery and take a massive chance again. Simply not worth it. My OH has also made it very clear, given those two occasions when I relapsed after drinking non-alc beers, that they are not welcome in our place. The fact that he doesn’t drink is also a big help for me.

Maybe going to see a professional with your OH to get an opinion on the matter would be a good idea. That way, he can hear advice directly from an expert in the field of addiction to take the stress off your difficulties with his drinking non alc beer.

2018na · 26-04-2021 4:31pm

I gave up drinking for the whole of 2018 and then repeated again for the whole of 2020. Still have not drank mostly because the pubs have not opened yet. I personally feel the discovery of this .5 percent drink which I’m guessing is erdinger was a life changing moment for me

starkid · 28-04-2021 12:01pm

Been drinking since i was 16. 36 now.A life lived in fear and booze. I now want to stop. I have a nagging pain in my shoulder, maybe an old injury maybe something more. Went to the A and E after a dizzy spell where i stopped for a while and nothing showed up. So i thought i was clear, and since last summer i've been taking the piss. I think i'm ****ed and that fear is eating away at me and i go a few days without a drop and i feel like ****e, or i get anxious and back to the well i go. I need to stop now.

Im not a raging raging drinker, those years are past now, but i'm well seasoned, and the fact i can't stop or i spend a hell of a lot of time thinking about beer or wine marks me as one in need of change. I've completely stopped romancing the drink which is something, but its going hand in hand with what i can only describe as anhedonia and a lack of peace.

During lockdown i've been obviuously staying out of pubs and i've switched my two wines a week for two or 3 days of 3/4 beers since this all started. I don't crave that glass of red, and i don't think it pairs well with anything in particular. Its just a red liquid. The buzz it gives me is nothing, its basically an illusion, i know that now. The odd weekend i'll do wine, and i'm full of regret.

My head is melting and i fear sometimes i'm going mad. I have an easy enough job, but one thats a deadend.

I'm telling myself here now i won't have a beer tonight and i can start, but i know its probably an untruth.

Test For Echo · 28-04-2021 12:20pm

starkid wrote: »

Im not a raging raging drinker, those years are past now, but i'm well seasoned, and the fact i can't stop or i spend a hell of a lot of time thinking about beer or wine marks me as one in need of change...

...I'm telling myself here now i won't have a beer tonight, but i know its probably an untruth.

I could have wrote that myself 15 years ago. Living (alone) a stone's throw from supermarkets with their special offers on booze, I ended up drinking nearly every evening and it was quite a challenge to not drink each evening. I was utterly fed up feeling like sh!t and managed to cut down to weekends only (Sat & Sun). Felt great on the days not boozing and eventually said ENOUGH in Oct 2010 and haven't drank since.

There was nothing anyone could have said, nothing I could have read that would have made a difference until I reached that 'enough' moment.

It really is like breaking free. I'm still a miserable git though

Sigma Force · 02-05-2021 12:18pm

chimpsoup1016 wrote: »

I'm having weight loss surgery in a few months and I'm off the drink now in preparation (but I'm allowed a day off or two in the meantime, I asked as I'm going away!) but once I have the surgery, nothing.

I know everyone will be supportive as the surgery is a lifesaver but has anyone any tips on dealing with friends etc ? In pre-Covid times I'd be at the football every home game and a few pints are a staple.

I am ready to never drink pints again but I am worried how it's going to affect my relationships with people.

When you give up drink it's a real test on who your real friends are. With my OH only 2 friends visited him in rehab and gave him some sort of support. The rest although didn't ignore him they basically stayed away and he would maybe call to them if they needed to fix something like tools or whatever but not socially. But he just likes everyone and sees everyone as good folk and a lot are, some are plain dodgy and beat to stay away from but some are just dealing with their own addictions.

Sigma Force · 02-05-2021 12:21pm

starkid wrote: »

Been drinking since i was 16. 36 now.A life lived in fear and booze. I now want to stop. I have a nagging pain in my shoulder, maybe an old injury maybe something more. Went to the A and E after a dizzy spell where i stopped for a while and nothing showed up. So i thought i was clear, and since last summer i've been taking the piss. I think i'm ****ed and that fear is eating away at me and i go a few days without a drop and i feel like ****e, or i get anxious and back to the well i go. I need to stop now.

Im not a raging raging drinker, those years are past now, but i'm well seasoned, and the fact i can't stop or i spend a hell of a lot of time thinking about beer or wine marks me as one in need of change. I've completely stopped romancing the drink which is something, but its going hand in hand with what i can only describe as anhedonia and a lack of peace.

During lockdown i've been obviuously staying out of pubs and i've switched my two wines a week for two or 3 days of 3/4 beers since this all started. I don't crave that glass of red, and i don't think it pairs well with anything in particular. Its just a red liquid. The buzz it gives me is nothing, its basically an illusion, i know that now. The odd weekend i'll do wine, and i'm full of regret.

My head is melting and i fear sometimes i'm going mad. I have an easy enough job, but one thats a deadend.

I'm telling myself here now i won't have a beer tonight and i can start, but i know its probably an untruth.

Sorry to hear you are stuggling, can't be easy especially at the moment. Have you been to see your GP or any online AA groups or smart recovery? My OH really needs to attend somewhere but he just refuses and so I can see him not getting the help and support he needs. His excuse is all people do is complain at meetings but he could easily go to a one on one support worker. It's very frustrating. So grab any help you can most if it's free so might as well.

hubba · 30-05-2021 1:19pm

10 years today. My only regret is that I ever drank in the first place - all that wasted time and money. The hardest part of quitting, for me, was the social aspect. It is gradually getting a little better but when you don't drink you are treated with deep suspicion by everybody. It's awful but I used to do the same to people when I was drinking. I remember feeling that people who didn't drink but were in my company on a night out, were watching me and judging me.

I was surrounded by alcoholics growing up and I suffered a lot from anxiety and depression so I suppose I used alcohol to take the edge off dealing with people and just the difficulty of getting through life in general. In hindsight it just made things worse and delayed any 'healing' so I wish I could just wave a wand and make it much easier for those struggling to escape the clutches of alcohol. But all I can do is wish those struggling all the best and if I can answer any questions or whatever, just shout.

drydub · 09-06-2021 9:40am

starkid wrote: »

Been drinking since i was 16. 36 now.A life lived in fear and booze. I now want to stop. I have a nagging pain in my shoulder, maybe an old injury maybe something more. Went to the A and E after a dizzy spell where i stopped for a while and nothing showed up. So i thought i was clear, and since last summer i've been taking the piss. I think i'm ****ed and that fear is eating away at me and i go a few days without a drop and i feel like ****e, or i get anxious and back to the well i go. I need to stop now.

Im not a raging raging drinker, those years are past now, but i'm well seasoned, and the fact i can't stop or i spend a hell of a lot of time thinking about beer or wine marks me as one in need of change. I've completely stopped romancing the drink which is something, but its going hand in hand with what i can only describe as anhedonia and a lack of peace.

During lockdown i've been obviuously staying out of pubs and i've switched my two wines a week for two or 3 days of 3/4 beers since this all started. I don't crave that glass of red, and i don't think it pairs well with anything in particular. Its just a red liquid. The buzz it gives me is nothing, its basically an illusion, i know that now. The odd weekend i'll do wine, and i'm full of regret.

My head is melting and i fear sometimes i'm going mad. I have an easy enough job, but one thats a deadend.

I'm telling myself here now i won't have a beer tonight and i can start, but i know its probably an untruth.

It's tough but you are recognising and acknowledging this in yourself so that is a step in itself. We all bounced around between abstinence and moderation and falling on and off the wagon and it is a battle. Sometimes there's a rock bottom and sometimes there isn't. But its been a crap year+ for everyone so be kind to yourself, you are probably dealing with a lot of crap as well as this.

Reflect on why you want to stop or moderate, write it down, have a chat with someone maybe on a similar path or someone who is sober. Figure out why you want it and maybe set a plan in place. Make it easy and fool proof. But be prepared to falter and start again and remember that once you push through, there might not be this "clarity light bulb hollywood" moment but when you do push through , it gets easier and life just gets a bit better every day, incrementally.

Good luck to you

prishtinaboy99 · 13-06-2021 9:45am

2 years yesterday.

Naked Lepper · 20-06-2021 10:33pm

7 weeks today.
having non-alcoholic beers instead which i really enjoy.
i read 'this naked mind' book by annie grace and it has completely changed my perspective on alcohol.
do not feel like i am missing out on a single thing, in fact, the complete opposite.. gaining so much.
the best mentally and physically i have ever felt tbh, hope to continue indefinitely.

Tinwhistle* · 04-07-2021 12:01am

I’m 3 years alcohol free today. If you have a drink problem snd need to stop, choose a date and take one day at a time. Find a new hobby, distract yourself, you CAN do it.

petes · 04-07-2021 9:04am

123 days!

JupiterKid · 05-07-2021 12:41am

petes wrote: »

123 days!

Fantastic!

Keep going!

BK92 · 16-07-2021 8:37am

16 months today. I've never felt better. How I spent hours sitting in pubs 'socialising' seems completely mad to me now. Temptations don't even come anymore and I couldn't give a toss about pubs re-opening (apart from owners and staff)

Family relationships are better, my organisation and time-keeping have improved, my patience has improved, the way I dress myself has improved. I'm a lot more stable and 'street smart' now. I also discovered I've got a light case of aspergers syndrome and that drinking was masking some of the syptoms, not drinking has also left me emotionally stable to address this.

Literally, folks, there are zero upsides to drinking ! Kudos to all of you who have kicked the habit or are currently in the process 😃

pretty boy floyd · 17-07-2021 8:52pm

165 days according to an app so nearly 6 months. This came after a health scare that initially looked like it could be seriously bad news but has thankfully ended up having an excellent prognosis, as long as I don't booze. On the whole it has been much easier than I would have thought to stop. I still miss the odd glass of wine with dinner, though that is fleeting; I really liked good quality wine, but I can't feel that I missed out and had a good run with it. Before I stopped I doubt there was a weekend when I hadn't had a drink for 20+ years, and its only in the last years that I cut it out during the week. I didnt drink substantially over the recommended units on an ongoing basis, nor was I out of control on booze, but I could as we say 'hold my drink', and at the weekend could easily and regularly drink enough to be called a proper binge. It had been in my mind that I was drinking too much and thinking about it too much when I wasnt (during the week...'nearly Thursday I can have a beer, nearly Friday beer and wine' yada yada). In fact I saw this part of the forum here before and wondered what it takes for people to decide to become non-drinkers.

Now I feel free of all that nagging guilt and anxiety and I have surprised myself with my resolve. All the things I thought wouldnt be fun without a drink remain fun (some of them much more so), and I feel more lucid, healthy and optimistic. It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am thankful that the health issue that might easily have not been discovered was, and that it gave me a get out of jail card before I had a very serious problem, and that I found myelf able to prioritise the things that are important over alcohol. That's my little story.

Good luck to everyone else either doing this or contemplating it. Its a bold move (for some at least) but you might really surprise yourself about how easy it is.

prishtinaboy99 · 01-08-2021 10:39am

Giving up the booze for periods was not that difficult and i would relapse for absolutely no reason as I learned to deal with big cravings but had no idea how in a happy Moment or day i would have a drink in my hand.

the hard thing is the missing out feeling and you go through phases of your sobriety to a point where picking up a drink would make me miss out on a hell of a lot more. More than 2 Years sober and alcohol does not come into my mind at all thankfully snd this freedom is an amazing thing. Hard thing for me was those first 9 months where the brain plays tricks with you but stick it out a new world awaits.

Haven't touched a drop in...

Comments