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Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.
2020 Bride/Groom
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Do other people get stressed by wedding planning or do they actually find it enjoyable? I just find it's so time consuming and it's really stressing me out as it seems to be a never-ending to do list
(on top of a full time job etc) Some people tell me to just take a break from it, but we're getting married in 8 months, so there's not really time to do that as there's still so much to organise (only engaged a few months).
I'm really stuck trying to find a dress atm, which probably isn't helping with the stress levels.
I'm also trying to sort out a cake - I know it shouldn't matter and most people don't give a flying fcuk about the cake, but I LOVE cake! So I'm torn between spending a large amount of money to get something that looks (and tastes) amazing, or save a few hundred euro to get something more basic looking, but will still taste good It's really hard to justify the expense, but I don't want to feel like I've compromised on the wrong things either. 0 -
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OfflerCrocGod wrote: »People are stuffed by the time the cake arrives so they may not have much of it.
Yeah, I know. I still want something that looks and tastes good though! For myself even, if not the guests :P (I always have room for cake!!)
The cake is just one thing that's stressing me out though.
Does anyone know how to take the stress out of wedding planning in general? I'm trying to get the OH involved, but frankly, that's stressing me out even more. He takes so long to do anything and when he does, it's not done properly I will put my hands up and say I'm a bit of a control freak though! I just feel like it's all on my shoulders to get everything done.
I just don't know how to make it fun 0 -
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Yeah I tried to delegate things to him that he'd enjoy and/or be good at (and some stuff he just needs to do himself, e.g. suits!). He likes music, but it took him weeks to even start researching DJs. I had asked him to do ceremony music too, but it was just taking too long so ended up taking the lead myself. He's grand when it comes to making decisions together, but I feel I do most of the heavy lifting when it comes to researching, contacting, chasing suppliers.
We do have a list of suppliers from the venue and that's usually my jumping off point. But sometimes the suppliers are unavailable for our date. Even if they are available, I still need to do some research, ask questions, get quotes, compare to other options etc before booking.
My MOH is up to her eyes atm as she just bought a house and started a new job. So there's no way I'd ask her for help with wedding prep. I feel bad enough already just asking her for help with the hen! And my mam wouldn't be much help aside from offering opinions. I don't know who else to ask really 0 -
Do other people get stressed by wedding planning or do they actually find it enjoyable? I just find it's so time consuming and it's really stressing me out as it seems to be a never-ending to do list (on top of a full time job etc) Some people tell me to just take a break from it, but we're getting married in 8 months, so there's not really time to do that as there's still so much to organise (only engaged a few months).
I'm really stuck trying to find a dress atm, which probably isn't helping with the stress levels.
I'm also trying to sort out a cake - I know it shouldn't matter and most people don't give a flying fcuk about the cake, but I LOVE cake! So I'm torn between spending a large amount of money to get something that looks (and tastes) amazing, or save a few hundred euro to get something more basic looking, but will still taste good It's really hard to justify the expense, but I don't want to feel like I've compromised on the wrong things either.
I really don't think your guests are going to be that wowed by a cake either way. If it doesnt make sense for you to spend the extra on something visually amazing, then don't.
I've seen both extremely, and honestly once it tastes good thats all that matters. Something not too dense with a nice light icing. THe only cakes I remember not liking were those with that heavy white icing - think shop bought christmas cake - to be fair those are the only ones I really remember because I remember not liking them.0 -
Do other people get stressed by wedding planning or do they actually find it enjoyable? I just find it's so time consuming and it's really stressing me out as it seems to be a never-ending to do list (on top of a full time job etc) Some people tell me to just take a break from it, but we're getting married in 8 months, so there's not really time to do that as there's still so much to organise (only engaged a few months).
I'm really stuck trying to find a dress atm, which probably isn't helping with the stress levels.
I'm also trying to sort out a cake - I know it shouldn't matter and most people don't give a flying fcuk about the cake, but I LOVE cake! So I'm torn between spending a large amount of money to get something that looks (and tastes) amazing, or save a few hundred euro to get something more basic looking, but will still taste good It's really hard to justify the expense, but I don't want to feel like I've compromised on the wrong things either.
I too can get quite stressed with all the planning. I'm generally very organised and on top of most things but the list just seems so long.
We are getting married in 102 days and just sent invites last night (was a major relief to press the send button on them, we used withjoy.com which I see was mentioned above also). I had hoped to invite a max on 150 ppl but we have sent 215 invites. My OH has a large family and a huge circle of friends.
I've some friends who say they really enjoyed every minute of the planning. I can't say I am but I don't hate it either.
I've no tips on how to de-stress about it either. Thankfully my OH is quite involved so I guess that is helping me a little bit.
Regarding the cake, if you like your cakes I'd say go for the cake you want, don't scrimp on it. Weddings are so expensive and we spend so much on things that aren't really that important to us. I think it's nice to pick one or two things that you are really into and do them exactly how you'd like to.0 -
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Getting married in September and finally feeling on top of things! We've the following sorted:
- Venue
- Celebrant
- Photographer (not having videographer)
- DJ (not having band)
- Ceremony music
- Cake
- Florist
- Make-up artist (family friend is doing hair)
- Accommodation
- Dress... finally!
There are still a lot of decisions to be made for each of those (e.g. we have someone to make the cake, but haven't decided on design/flavour. Someone to do the ceremony music, but haven't decided on the songs etc). I'm feeling more chilled though now that all the big things are done! Still plenty of little things to do and decisions to be made, but nothing that I need to worry about being booked out at least
I hope anyway :P
We have our intent to marry appointment next week and hoping to order the rings soon just to knock another thing off the list!0 -
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We looked at a few venues and picked one, goggled a few bands and listened to them, emailed for availability and picked one, same for photographer. Videographer came from a recommendation, my mother's quartert doing church music, friends making the cake. Did the invites online and they were easy to manage. Table plan took a bit of tweaking but was grand.
I guess we've taken the same approach so far. I don't know if it's because we have a relatively short engagement (less than 1 year) and because we're getting married on a Saturday, but we did have trouble sourcing some of our suppliers.
The photographer in particular took us weeks to sort out between full time jobs and Christmas celebrations (we were looking in December). I'd spend ages researching them (looking through albums, reviews etc) only to find out they weren't available and started back at square one. We'd arranged a couple of phone calls too before deciding, to get a feel for their personality, as they'll be spending the whole day with us.
We were panicking about getting a humanist too because people say they can book out so far in advance, but it was actually ok in the end. We emailed a bunch of them for availability and then choose from that shortlist. Although it didn't help that the one that was initially our first choice, stood us up for a meeting (she offered to meet). We decided not to go with her after that, so we had to pick another one and organise a phone call with them.
The florist was easy enough, we just went with the venues recommendation. But she offered to meet up to discuss options before booking, so it was another face-to-face that needed to be squeezed in.
And part of it is that we're just indecisive :P It took me ages to decide on a cake supplier for example! And I had 4 appointments before I found a dress I liked
The one thing I'm really grateful about is that neither sets of parents are interfering. They're happy to provide opinions when asked, but so far there have been no demands! My sister is another issue, but I won't get into that :P0 -
Just on the videographer, anyone we spoke to who had one was delighted with the decision. As in 100% of those people, mainly made up of people who like myself weren't bothered about it. People who don't have them don't regret it, but those that do are delighted with the decision.
That's just my experience from talking to people and why we're getting one. But I just said I might as well share. We got so much advice leading up to the wedding and I was always glad to get it. Much of it I didn't follow, but I rather have the advice and then make up my own mind.
Thanks for that. Yeah I know not having a videographer is often the "one big regret". It's something we've discussed a lot. I'd be more open to it than my OH, but he's pretty adamant that he doesn't want one. We've hired a good photographer, so happy enough with that.
Both of us are SO CRINGE about videos. Honestly, I've no problems looking at photos of myself, but videos are a whole other level. I'm even cringy watching other peoples video highlights I don't know if part of it is a generation thing. Younger people today (god I sound like an aul wan :P) seem to video everything now. We just... don't!
Our venue is quite tight too, so we don't really want another person walking around trying to find the best angles etc during the ceremony (it's a very small room). We're not bothering with speeches either, just a quick thank you, so nothing to video there.
It's one of those things that if we did decide to do, we wouldn't want to go cheap. I'd be willing to pay for experience, mainly for someone who knows how to be a fly on the wall and not disturb people. But we just can't justify spending the money overall really! We know people who've gotten a videographer and haven't even watched the video. Not that they regret it, but it's a lot of money if it's something you're not that bothered about.
[Having said all this, I'll probably be back in a panic two weeks before the wedding looking for a videographer :P]0 -
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Haha on top of the wedding planning, we've a mortgage appointment with the bank tomorrow... people tell us we're mad planning a wedding and looking for a house in the same year and you know what... they're probably right
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