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2020 Bride/Groom

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Comments

  • #32
    ainy
    Registered Users Posts: 499 ✭✭ainy


    oneright wrote:
    Struggling with venues! we have been to see 5, the one we want already has a provisional booking. Theyve no other days available in the month we want to get married. How odd would a Wednesday or Thursday wedding be? Would you feel bad about asking people to take 2 days off work?

    We are having ours on a thursday as its the date we wanted, I don't see a problem with it. The people who want to be there will be there, you might need to give a bit more notice so people can plan!


  • #33
    SozBbz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,889 ✭✭✭SozBbz


    oneright wrote: »
    Struggling with venues! we have been to see 5, the one we want already has a provisional booking. Theyve no other days available in the month we want to get married. How odd would a Wednesday or Thursday wedding be? Would you feel bad about asking people to take 2 days off work?

    Humm, not great in my opinion.

    I've been to a Wednesday wedding and a Thursday wedding before, both couples got quite a bit of stick (good natured mostly, but I think people wanted to them to know they'd been put out). Your good friends/family will still go, but I think it does get noted.

    I think people got over the Thursday one more easily, as by taking the friday you essentially had a nice long weekend and some people made a little weekend away out of it, but the Wednesday one was pretty inconvenient. Its still so early in the week, it just feels disruptive to anyone who works the standard working week.

    Also i found in both cases that some people who didnt have much annual leave for whatever reason ended up leaving early so they didnt have to take the next day off.

    Could you not look at the following month?


  • #34
    blue note
    Registered Users Posts: 4,500 ✭✭✭blue note


    oneright wrote: »
    Struggling with venues! we have been to see 5, the one we want already has a provisional booking. Theyve no other days available in the month we want to get married. How odd would a Wednesday or Thursday wedding be? Would you feel bad about asking people to take 2 days off work?

    I went to a Wednesday one last year which was not much over an hours drive from Dublin. A huge amount of people (myself included) drove home from it. We left around 1 and hadn't been drinking much because we were working the next day.

    We wouldn't choose a midweek wedding for that reason.


  • #35
    Shelli2
    Registered Users Posts: 928 ✭✭✭Shelli2


    I think the wobble has passed and we're going to push ahead with our original wedding plans.
    It just seemed so overwhelming there for a little bit, but when we took stock we realised that we had all the big decisions made. And what's left can be trimmed back.
    I'm starting to look forward to it again, the sense of dread has left.


  • #36
    PinkLady2016
    Registered Users Posts: 193 ✭✭PinkLady2016


    I'm getting married January 2020 booked photographer, venue, DJ's got dress and suit. Bridesmaid is buying her dress. Cake needs 6 months advance notice. Then ordering rings in October. Anyone here sending out Save the Date invites?


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  • #37
    B_ecke_r
    Registered Users Posts: 491 ✭✭B_ecke_r


    December 2020 and we have

    Venue
    Photographer
    all the music
    Church
    Video
    FLowers
    Make Up

    still need to sort cars,

    haven't touched suits or dresses yet.


  • #38
    Shelli2
    Registered Users Posts: 928 ✭✭✭Shelli2


    PinkLady2016 wrote: »
    I'm getting married January 2020 booked photographer, venue, DJ's got dress and suit. Bridesmaid is buying her dress. Cake needs 6 months advance notice. Then ordering rings in October. Anyone here sending out Save the Date invites?

    I did a quick Save the date FB message, just because our wedding is the Saturday of the May BH, so I wanted to give people as much notice as possible to avoid clashing with holiday plans.


  • #39
    zedhead
    Registered Users Posts: 601 ✭✭✭zedhead


    Joining in for this thread. Just booked our wedding for May 2020.

    Keeping things low key with a registry office ceremony with a small group of family and maybe very close friends, meal after with the same group followed by a reception for the larger group of friends and family that evening.

    Now the venues are booked gonna take it handy for a few months before we start thinking of other details, might do a bit of dress shopping - but nearly 100% sure I'l be buying something off the rack so no rush on that!


  • #40
    citygal93
    Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭citygal93


    Got engaged in March of this year and we've booked our wedding for August 2020. So far we've got the following booked:

    Venue
    Humanist Celebrant
    Photographer

    Since booking the above we've taken a step back to relax and I've felt so much happier! Does anyone else feel at happiest in their engagement when they're NOT planning the wedding? Every time I discuss the wedding with the in-laws I get super stressed because of all the judgement and opinions we've faced so far and so I have enjoyed the past few weeks with no wedding talk.


  • #41
    Scarinae
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 11,362 ✭✭✭✭Scarinae


    citygal93 wrote: »
    Every time I discuss the wedding with the in-laws I get super stressed because of all the judgement and opinions we've faced so far and so I have enjoyed the past few weeks with no wedding talk.

    Could you just be vague with people who you know are going to be judgemental? I know it's possibly trickier as it's the in-laws but if they ask you about particular wedding plans could you just say you're considering options and then change the subject?


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  • #42
    citygal93
    Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭citygal93


    Scarinae wrote: »
    Could you just be vague with people who you know are going to be judgemental? I know it's possibly trickier as it's the in-laws but if they ask you about particular wedding plans could you just say you're considering options and then change the subject?

    see if I say that I'm considering options then I am bombarded with "you should do this and this and this and I'll link you to them and my second cousin twice removed did the same etc etc". I'm sure they mean well but I really don't think they grasp that this is mine and my partner's day, not anyone else's.


  • #43
    zedhead
    Registered Users Posts: 601 ✭✭✭zedhead


    citygal93 wrote: »
    see if I say that I'm considering options then I am bombarded with "you should do this and this and this and I'll link you to them and my second cousin twice removed did the same etc etc". I'm sure they mean well but I really don't think they grasp that this is mine and my partner's day, not anyone else's.

    Its really hard. We stopped telling people when we were considering options and waited until it was booked. I still had someone suggest a way that we could do our ceremony so that all our guests could be there after I had afterthing all booked (doing small ceremony with family and big party that night).

    I really had to bite my tongue not to be rude and just explained we wanted a small intimate ceremony.


  • #44
    citygal93
    Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭citygal93


    zedhead wrote: »
    Its really hard. We stopped telling people when we were considering options and waited until it was booked. I still had someone suggest a way that we could do our ceremony so that all our guests could be there after I had afterthing all booked (doing small ceremony with family and big party that night).

    I really had to bite my tongue not to be rude and just explained we wanted a small intimate ceremony.

    yeah I think a lot of the wedding will be me biting my tongue....never knew so many people had so many opinions about what I do with my life! lol


  • #45
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Most people are well meaning but often don't realise how pushy they come across as.



    I had an earful of literally everyone giving their tuppence worth. I didn't really mind the ones who say, would have liked to incorporate [favourite thing of theirs] into their wedding but for whatever reason didn't or couldn't and suggesting it to you because they think it would be nice but the minute anyone said "oh you have to have /do X" like it was an order got shut down. I pointedly told them that I absolutely didn't have to do any of it bar a celebrant and witnesses and if people kept telling me how to plan my wedding, we would elope.


  • #46
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,654 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    zedhead wrote: »
    Its really hard. We stopped telling people when we were considering options and waited until it was booked. I still had someone suggest a way that we could do our ceremony so that all our guests could be there after I had afterthing all booked (doing small ceremony with family and big party that night).

    I really had to bite my tongue not to be rude and just explained we wanted a small intimate ceremony.

    Stop explaining yourself. I do the same thing, but it just leads to arguments because your explanations will never be accepted. I learned to just say “Thanks, we’ll take it under consideration” and move on. Don’t justify, defend, argue or explain.


  • #47
    Scarinae
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 11,362 ✭✭✭✭Scarinae


    I've just found out that one of my bridesmaids is pregnant - the baby will be around eight months old by the time the wedding comes around. She's offered to step down as bridesmaid but I don't mind if she's still happy to do it, I'd just like to make things as easy as possible for her.

    I don't have children myself so can anyone recommend things I should bear in mind? I guess I'll need to get a dress that is somewhat easy to undo for breastfeeding (she breastfed her first child, who is now two, so I think it's safe to assume she'll want to do the same with this one). Similarly, she'd need to have the baby with her when we're getting our hair and makeup done, and possibly during the ceremony itself? I would be checking for places to change nappies anyway, and that the venue has high chairs for smallies.

    Is there anything else I haven't thought of?


  • #48
    Shelli2
    Registered Users Posts: 928 ✭✭✭Shelli2


    Scarinae wrote: »
    I've just found out that one of my bridesmaids is pregnant - the baby will be around eight months old by the time the wedding comes around. She's offered to step down as bridesmaid but I don't mind if she's still happy to do it, I'd just like to make things as easy as possible for her.

    I don't have children myself so can anyone recommend things I should bear in mind? I guess I'll need to get a dress that is somewhat easy to undo for breastfeeding (she breastfed her first child, who is now two, so I think it's safe to assume she'll want to do the same with this one). Similarly, she'd need to have the baby with her when we're getting our hair and makeup done, and possibly during the ceremony itself? I would be checking for places to change nappies anyway, and that the venue has high chairs for smallies.

    Is there anything else I haven't thought of?

    I think you've got most everything covered, just be aware that you will likely not be able to depend on her for help in the lead up to or indeed on the day, likewise your other bridesmaids will probably not have much help from her with the hens, she might not even attend.
    This is not so important if you have a few other bridesmaids, but if you only have 2 it might have an impact.
    8 months is a good age though, it's not a teeny tiny baby, other than feeding breaks childcare is easily obtainable for a baby that age.


  • #49
    cant26
    Registered Users Posts: 578 ✭✭✭cant26


    Getting married February 2020. Having a really low key registry office ceremony with just our children, our parents and our two witnesses. We will then go for a lovely lunch. That night we will have a party with all our friends and family to celebrate.
    Have the registry office date and time booked and have contacted the venue for the party to see about availability. Hopefully will have that nailed down by the end of the week. It’s a blank canvas venue so decor and catering will be sorted once we get confirmation.
    We are engaged since the middle of last year and I have been allergic to the idea of a wedding! Once we decided on this plan(last weekend!) I’ve gotten so excited. Yay!!!


  • #50
    blacklilly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,687 ✭✭✭blacklilly


    May 2020 for us, we got engaged in March of this year

    We have the following booked:

    Church
    Church signer
    Reception venue
    Hair
    Make up
    Cake
    Photographer
    Videographer
    Car
    Band
    DJ
    Wedding dress
    Wedding shoes
    Flowers

    We will do e-mail invites with one of the wedding websites.

    Just having one bridesmaid and one best man, hoping to decide on bridesmaid dress this weekend. Other than that, we are pretty organised:)


  • #51
    citygal93
    Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭citygal93


    blacklilly wrote: »
    May 2020 for us, we got engaged in March of this year

    We have the following booked:

    Church
    Church signer
    Reception venue
    Hair
    Make up
    Cake
    Photographer
    Videographer
    Car
    Band
    DJ
    Wedding dress
    Wedding shoes
    Flowers

    We will do e-mail invites with one of the wedding websites.

    Just having one bridesmaid and one best man, hoping to decide on bridesmaid dress this weekend. Other than that, we are pretty organised:)

    Wow you're so organised! Mine is August next year and I've only a quarter of those things done


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  • #52
    PinkLady2016
    Registered Users Posts: 193 ✭✭PinkLady2016


    blacklilly wrote: »
    May 2020 for us, we got engaged in March of this year

    We have the following booked:

    Church
    Church signer
    Reception venue
    Hair
    Make up
    Cake
    Photographer
    Videographer
    Car
    Band
    DJ
    Wedding dress
    Wedding shoes
    Flowers

    We will do e-mail invites with one of the wedding websites.

    Just having one bridesmaid and one best man, hoping to decide on bridesmaid dress this weekend. Other than that, we are pretty organised:)

    Wow you are so organised I don't have all of that done and im due to go up the isle next Jan


  • #53
    blacklilly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,687 ✭✭✭blacklilly


    I’d get married tomorrow if I could, I’m quite impatient lol. Like to get things done and dusted when they’re on my mind.


  • #54
    Scarinae
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 11,362 ✭✭✭✭Scarinae


    I'm sending out my save the dates this week! The wedding is over a year away but since it is in Canada I want to give people on the Irish side as much notice as possible.


  • #55
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    I was getting a bit stressed in the last week or so trying to figure out all the logistics as it's a tricky location with lots of limitations. I was actually wishing we'd just eloped altogether.



    But with one phone call to the right person I got so much of the big stuff sorted and an offer to help with any of the small stuff as well. I feel much more chilled out and happier now.


  • #56
    PinkLady2016
    Registered Users Posts: 193 ✭✭PinkLady2016


    Neyite wrote: »
    I was getting a bit stressed in the last week or so trying to figure out all the logistics as it's a tricky location with lots of limitations. I was actually wishing we'd just eloped altogether.



    But with one phone call to the right person I got so much of the big stuff sorted and an offer to help with any of the small stuff as well. I feel much more chilled out and happier now.

    Its amazing what happened when people help each other out. Best of Luck on your wedding day


  • #57
    citygal93
    Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭citygal93


    How are you all getting on with your planning? One area we're really struggling with is a band as we don't want to spend more than €1500 but most have been quoting us well above this.


  • #58
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    citygal93 wrote: »
    How are you all getting on with your planning? One area we're really struggling with is a band as we don't want to spend more than €1500 but most have been quoting us well above this.


    We aren't going to bother with a band. It's a small wedding anyway but I've gone with a DJ who is good at getting people on the dance floor with typical wedding floor fillers and I'll ask him to mix in stuff (rock & metal) that's more to our taste later in the evening once the older ones are all danced out.


  • #59
    helen87
    Registered Users Posts: 73 ✭✭helen87


    Can i ask how much have you paid/ will be paying for your photographer?
    and how did you choose them? Getting married in Kilkenny in October and am a little overwhelmed with the amount of them!


  • #60
    citygal93
    Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭citygal93


    helen87 wrote: »
    Can i ask how much have you paid/ will be paying for your photographer?
    and how did you choose them? Getting married in Kilkenny in October and am a little overwhelmed with the amount of them!
    Our photographer is €1800 and that's from getting ready to first dance. We met him at a wedding fair and my partner really liked his style as he's also into photography so we went with him! Got some other quotes which were up to €2500.


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  • #61
    Teach30
    Registered Users Posts: 539 ✭✭✭Teach30


    citygal93 wrote: »
    Our photographer is €1800 and that's from getting ready to first dance. We met him at a wedding fair and my partner really liked his style as he's also into photography so we went with him! Got some other quotes which were up to €2500.


    My partner chose the photographer on recommendation and he’s costing between €3,000 to €5000. I was shocked initially! We haven’t picked our package yet but don’t mind paying the €5000 because the pictures will be forever and his style is very us. He doesn’t do staged, lovely dovey pics - I can’t stand those!

    I’m August 2020, when would one want to know colours etc? I know that bridesmaids dresses can dictate invitations etc so wondering could I leave it until next May we’ll say to decide or would that be too late?


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