Is there a way to become more talkative

Look at every conversation as an opportunity to learn something, and fill in the gaps of things the other person doesn't know that you do. That's a good starting point.

H3llR4iser wrote: »

But yeah, most people are extroverts and won't understand that - you'll just be "quiet" or "boring". The best counter to this, I found out, is...well AGE, or "experience", if you prefer. Seriously.

Traditionally, most men were extroverts, but there was always a fairly large number of introverts too. They were just harder to notice since they were off writing poetry or hiding somewhere to avoid the attentions of the extroverts.

However, social and cultural norms are changing drastically. The attentions of psychology and feminism in education is pushing many males into the more introvert zone, not because they're naturally so, but because it's the safer option. The same can be said for those who have entered dating ages and found that a more extrovert attitude is being met, sometimes, with condemnation for being too "aggressive".

Experience is king. Knowledge is the queen. Knowledge without personal experience is next to useless.

By nature, I am a rather extreme introvert - I am solidly in the "INTJ" category on the Myers-Briggs chart.

And I'm classified as a sociopath, with psychopathic tendencies. Psychological testing is BS. It fails to take into account desire, personal improvement, and experience. Don't fall into the trap of accepting labels from the area of mainstream psychology, because these researchers are essentially making up badly "researched" crap, and barely understand their own claims.

Over the years, however, by listening and observing, I figured out what "most people" expect - if you met me in person, you'd call me a royal bullsh1ter about being an introvert - but I still am. Heavily.

Because you're judged by your exterior behavior. They're unable and unwilling to really consider who you are inside. Except to make assumptions about who you are based on scant evidence. People are essentially selfish creatures, basing the reality of the world through the lens of their own perception. That perception can expand through learning, but it's still being interpreted based on their own values and bias.

Simply, I've learnt how to "adapt" to the crowd I'm in; Not taking myself too seriously goes a long way - sometimes a good mix of a "show of competency" and self-humor can go a loooong way. Knowledge helps MASSIVELY -
If you're somebody who loves to be "withing his/her thoughts", then this will be easy to you - read, absorb information, understand what makes people tick. If, say, you know nothing about football, look into it, understand why so many people around the world love it. Same with anything else.

Agreed... although I'd suggest recording your impressions at least for the first year, because your mind is not attuned to remembering such information about others. Instead, your mind is on the parameters that you've previously trained it to be... doing the above will change those parameters over time, but you'll still struggle to remember most of the info.

Know and understand your audience. Determine the types of people who prefer particular types of topics, and also the type of behavior from you, that will elicit the best kind of responses.

Just one word of advice - if you are an introvert and love reading/learning, well, learn to restrain yourself. You'll often be in a situation were somebody thinks he/she is an "expert" on something they love, and you realize they barely know anything on the subject and they're basically air-blowing clowns. In such situation...LET THEM BE. Else, you'll immediately pass for a showoff and fall back into the "boring know-it-all" category.

Very situational. Sometimes you need to shoot other people down to assert your position within group hierarchy. You need to judge the value in allowing them to BS versus what it will cost you. Also whether you're considered a "showoff" depends on your delivery, and intent. Your intent will generally be shown in your mannerisms. It's worth knocking people off their pedestals to see what is the best way to do so without alienating yourself, or making the target angry. You can refute their claims without destroying them.

Now...I know this all sounds like, well, some sort of experiment...because it is at its core. As an introvert in a society that wildly encourages and favours extroversion, you can only count on your observation and attention.

You can also count on yourself. Introverts are sexy to many women. Look at what many women want from a man. The poet, the musician, the gentleman. You can take your introverted state and develop it into something appealing to others. It's just that most guys don't bother developing themselves, and wonder nobody appreciates them. It's the same with Fat women who wonder why guys don't find them attractive when they're unwilling to do anything to their appearance to improve their chances.

Don't live in Ignorance. Understand the requirements needed for the life you want and develop yourself. I'm still an introvert even though most consider me to be an extrovert. I read books in bars, both because I enjoy a pint with a book, and because many women will express curiosity in what I'm doing. The self-confidence not be embarrassed about doing something that most people think is weird... helps there too.

Point is. You can be yourself. Just work on improving yourself to be suitable for the people and lifestyle you want.