What's the etiquette here??

Was on an auld zoom call there forgot to hit the mute button let a hoor or a ripper, don’t think they knew it was me though

Aglomerado wrote: »

I'm always terrified I will do this. 11 months into working from home and I'm well used to lifting the cheek and blasting them out while working. :pac:

That’s the great thing about working from home you can let rip at will but you get so used to it that you forget about other people on a call

You the man wrote: »

Just after a heap of mutton.
The benefits should be immense soon.

That stuff stinks before it goes in, I dread to imagine the pong on the way out!::D

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Did you need to go into the ‘Hitler Salute’ stance in the shower to scope out the arse-crack?

One foot up on the soap tray and his wife’s body wash loofah would be the best option brenner.

Just give it a rinse when you’re done so there’s no sweet corn or dry roasted almonds debris left behind

Slideways wrote: »

One foot up on the soap tray and his wife’s body wash loofah would be the best option brenner.

Just give it a rinse when you’re done so there’s no sweet corn or dry roasted almonds debris left behind

Lad I knew who confessed that the area around the muzzle was like a Thornton’s Skip Net after clearing out an illegal dumping site.

Decided to tackle it after a a few buckets of porther, adopted the ‘Hitler’ stance reached around, slipped, didn’t break glass but knocked the door off the hinges and left the bathroom like a bomb site.

The arse weed survived another week !!!!

Be careful in there.

Tough that Emmett.

Firing,as military men will understand pure ‘Gunfire’ mysell, easy first downs every time.

Quite proud that I cleared a fcuking hipster and his family from the ice cream fridges today.

Kernt was blocking the full expanse of the Cornetto and Eaton Mess unit while he went thru the full gamut of offerings with Tarquin and his four mates.

Sidled up and unloaded a meaty low rumbling ‘mutton fart’ that you could sew a button on, and in seconds they dispersed.

Lad previous had extolled the efficacy of mutton to produce good ‘carpet gas’.

Fcuker was dead right, the Fcukking alarms nearly were fired on the fridges.

You the man wrote: »

Speaking of mutton...
I've not been since the intake.

Hmmm.....Good feed of oranges might help.

Don’t stand near naked flames.

Best wishes.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/shortcuts/2021/feb/24/what-a-dump-why-wild-toileting-has-become-a-big-pandemic-problem?
Lovely f- article here about alfresco pooing in Great Shítain. For the perusal of the denizens of this thread while enjoying your Saturday morning poo.

Shunted out a very large “load” there earlier. Just kept on coming. Log after log, not too wide, slickly greased and with some nice marbling.

All was going fine until the last log broke just before the “cigar cutter” engaged. This meant that when the weight shifted south there was nothing to pull down the small, but generous, truncated cylinder of stool stayed stuck, firm, to the rim.

I really didn’t fancy getting involved in another big clean up. Suffering from a bit of ire due to the excessive friction from my recent “bad run”. I got a bit stubborn. Decided that I wasn’t going to blink first, gravity would have to win at some point.

Of course, I didn’t just sit there thinking about the immortality of the crab. No, I puckered up and clenched in. Really worked the kegels, have been pretty lax on that front since working from home. But that’s what I did and I refused to budge.

I’m not going to lie. I did think about quitting. My lower abs were getting tired from the forward lean I’d been doing intermittently while clench, and releasing, the badge. At about 20 minutes in my legs were asleep, was getting pins and needles from below the knees but still I soldiered on.

Was really starting to sweat at this stage, was more of a workout than I’d planned. Originally saw it as merely a “waiting game” but this was more. So much more. This little “off cut” was making me work and I had to respect that.

I was getting to the point where it was time to admit defeat, we were nearly 40 minutes in and, frankly, the festering smell was bothering me. I was contemplating a “curtesy flush” to deal with the funk but then I felt it. A slight pull on the arse hairs.

I froze. This wasn’t a time for rash movement, no. I had to act like the spider when a fly first hits the web. I got myself into a slow rhythm of puckering in and out, in and out. Speeding up ever so slightly so that after 3-5 minutes I could feel it almost hammocking down. And then it happened, the drop. It was a glorious feeling. I had won. The sound of this small bung slapping the last log, that was breaking the waterline, felt as good as getting any medal. I was done.

Clean up wasn’t exactly easy but nothing too bad. Didn’t have to “go in”, or anything, and avoided any lingering irritation. Once I felt “presentable” the trousers came up, hands were washed and walked like Bambi out of the room knowing that whatever comes my way today I will overcome it. Yes, I will overcome.

Never underestimate yourself and always, always, believe in yourself. Face up to adversity and don’t be afraid to ask for help...maybe not in a “situation” like the above but you know what I mean.

We’re all in this together.

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Hmmm...... like a certain person in the equine industry ...a bit disrespectful.

Could have got the bbq fork and fished the fuuchker out and framed it.

Tribute to a stubborn adversity like.

Look great sprayed in sparkle and hung over the fireplace eh?

I think that’s a little unfair, B. I showed nothing but respect but I refuse to “negotiate” with terrorists. I didn’t go straight in, smearing everywhere, ruining my fingernails or standing up to rip it apart with a heavy stream of hot píss.

As for mounting, while the overall volume was big, no one wants to see a shellac’d pile of turds. In that “game” it’s all about the size, and shape, of a single piece. Mostly size.

This was catch and release territory. There was no disrespect.