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huge crush on my coworker

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Comments

  • #92
    dellas1979
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭dellas1979


    chris525 wrote: »
    I've seen a number of 'therapists' over the years and none do too much to help. I don't know.

    Because you have to help yourself first. Noone can do that for you.

    Perhaps leaving the marriage is all that is left. Have you explored this?


  • #93
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    chris525 wrote: »
    I've talked to my husband a thousand times. He won't use a creche or a babysitter ever. No compromising here.

    I've talked to him about it all and he says the same things each time.

    I've seen a number of 'therapists' over the years and none do too much to help. I don't know.


    What do you think we can do that a therapist can't? If your marriage as far gone as it seems to be, then perhaps you need to consider ending it? That in itself is a very serious step and not one to be taken lightly.


  • #94
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    Mod note:

    @Oasis1974, I've deleted your post as it is well below the standard expected - anything further like that and you'll be getting a card.


  • #95
    tara73
    Registered Users Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭tara73


    Ash.J.Williams wrote: »
    Good point ..,should the earner be the one to spice things up at home?


    why don't you eff off to AH with your useless remarks, it's general discussion stuff, it's not wanted here!


  • #96
    chris525
    Closed Accounts Posts: 214 ✭✭chris525


    Ursus Horribilis wrote: »
    What do you think we can do that a therapist can't? If your marriage as far gone as it seems to be, then perhaps you need to consider ending it? That in itself is a very serious step and not one to be taken lightly.

    Very expensive and not something I could afford for a very long time. Also, I wouldn't get to see my kids everyday and that's no good for me.

    I guess it's not THAT bad. It's not a warzone just not really what I want. Maybe life with young kids is really just this hard? Perhaps my husband's choices are making harder than it could be but I can't control that.

    Our kids are literally ANIMALS. Like crazy, non stop, wild animals. They can't just relax and do nothing for a while and if you turn your eyes away for a minute they break something or do something they are not supposed to.


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  • #97
    IHeartShoes
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭IHeartShoes


    Hey Chris - I am really at a loss as to why you continue to post here. Apart from one or two posters, the remainder are rude and demeaning to you. It is borderline abuse at this late stage. I’ve seen responses previously to posters saying that their wives refuse to work and the wives are called all sorts with lots of sympathy offered to the poster. But you’re told to consider yourself lucky! It’s like watching someone kicking a dying dog...

    You don’t have to justify anything to anyone on this forum. You’re constantly defending yourself. It’s a total waste of time, clearly.

    You are in a **** show at home. Much like this forum, you’re going to need to assert yourself at home too. There is subsidised counselling available from Accord. I’m not mad about the religious ethos but I’m familiar with lots of their counsellors and that doesn’t feature. Like any counsellor, you might need to try more than one.

    You sound like you have a responsible job. Use those skills and organise yourself. Make a plan and execute it. Exhaust all possibilities and if you cannot resolve the current impasse, you can leave with your children in the knowledge you have given it your all. Children are far better off coming from a broken home than being raised in one. Yours appears very broken. It’s pointless apportioning blame for that. Just try and resolve it.

    Lots of people have broken marriages including me but everyone’s experience is different and individual. I’m not sure our experiences can help your situation. There are some common themes as alluded to above. Try counselling. Put the children first. But try not to be afraid of making the hard decisions if that is what is required here.

    Ignore the slings and arrows thrown here.

    S


  • #98
    qwerty13
    Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    chris525 wrote: »
    I said in a previous post that my husband is not willing to EVER use a babysitter even for us to go on a night out.

    But you haven’t said why you used apparently low amount of money available to go on hols yourself, when it could have been used for family days out, or a weekend away. Yet again, you refuse to address questions that you don’t like. Not that you’re under any obligation to answer me - but you urgently need to open your mind to the fact that you are far from blameless in the strife in your relationships with others.

    If I was at home all week with children, and money was tight, I’d be livid if my partner went on hols on their own.


  • #99
    zapper55
    Registered Users Posts: 684 ✭✭✭zapper55


    OP children especially young children dont have impulse control or the same awareness of danger. What you've described sounds like every child I know. Do you spend one on one time with them? You sound like you dont even really like them called them crazy animals.


  • #100
    isohon
    Registered Users Posts: 109 ✭✭isohon


    chris525 wrote: »
    Very expensive and not something I could afford for a very long time. Also, I wouldn't get to see my kids everyday and that's no good for me.

    I guess it's not THAT bad. It's not a warzone just not really what I want. Maybe life with young kids is really just this hard? Perhaps my husband's choices are making harder than it could be but I can't control that.

    Our kids are literally ANIMALS. Like crazy, non stop, wild animals. They can't just relax and do nothing for a while and if you turn your eyes away for a minute they break something or do something they are not supposed to.

    The sum of your posts in this thread is almost unbelievable.

    'I want to F**K my co-worker'

    'Can't believe my co-worker won't fLLk me! How irresponsible! And turns out he has a girlfriend, cheater much?'

    'Oh my husband is boring, and not into having sex with me. So thats why I was so vulnerable to the advances of my co-worker who it turns out had no interest in me'

    'Oh and my kids... they are animals, no wonder I want to fJJk my hot Polish co-worker, who flirted with me on my work holidays'

    You need to do some serious, serious, self-examination.


  • #101
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    Mod note:

    @tara73, no backseat modding please. If you have a problem with a post, report it and the mod team will look into it.


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  • #102
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    chris525 wrote: »

    Our kids are literally ANIMALS. Like crazy, non stop, wild animals. They can't just relax and do nothing for a while and if you turn your eyes away for a minute they break something or do something they are not supposed to.

    No wonder your husband is so tired then op it must be exhausting for him.


  • #103
    chris525
    Closed Accounts Posts: 214 ✭✭chris525


    qwerty13 wrote: »
    But you haven’t said why you used apparently low amount of money available to go on hols yourself, when it could have been used for family days out, or a weekend away. Yet again, you refuse to address questions that you don’t like. Not that you’re under any obligation to answer me - but you urgently need to open your mind to the fact that you are far from blameless in the strife in your relationships with others.

    If I was at home all week with children, and money was tight, I’d be livid if my partner went on hols on their own.

    Money isn't THAT tight. I just can't drop 2-5k for all of us to go on an international trip.

    We do go out and do things but it's usually local and we can't spend quality time together because of the kids. When we go out we have to focus on the kids. It's what we do 24/7 with no break because my husband refuses to ever get a babysitter. Even if the kids were not with us i don't know if we'd have a good time.


  • #104
    chris525
    Closed Accounts Posts: 214 ✭✭chris525


    zapper55 wrote: »
    OP children especially young children dont have impulse control or the same awareness of danger. What you've described sounds like every child I know. Do you spend one on one time with them? You sound like you dont even really like them called them crazy animals.

    This post is stupid. If you would read my other posts I already said I take the kids when I get home and in the weekend.


  • #105
    chris525
    Closed Accounts Posts: 214 ✭✭chris525


    Moderator. Please close the thread. There is no constructive advice.


  • #106
    qwerty13
    Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    There’s actually a lot of constructive advice - you just don’t like it.

    You need to stop obsessing about the past, and blaming others for your unhappiness. And stop applying ridiculous standards for others behaviour, but not your own. You need to take control of your present and future, and to do that, you need to realise that you are far from as blameless as you like to think.


  • #107
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    chris525 wrote: »
    Moderator. Please close the thread. There is no constructive advice.


    I hope the closure of this thread means you'll get off the internet and start getting proper help in real life. More the point, that you'll bother to listen to it. While you might not like or agree with the reactions of some people on this thread, you could do worse than to reflect on why you're getting people's backs up. Take that closer to home and ask yourself why is your marriage miserable? Why are your children stressing you out? What needs to be done about improving your home life. Those are answers you won't find on boards.


  • #108
    wiggle16
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    Thread locked at OP's request.


This discussion has been closed.
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